The Two Men Named Sam

When I was 16 and stupid,with not many friends to hang around with let alone sharing common interest, I befriended this young man called Shamsul who is 3 or 4 years older than me.I was in this boarding school somewhere up north and he was in this local institution which is conveniently nearby.

We met by chance. I was on my weekly outing at the local pekan and he was too.At this age, unlike girls my age,I don't have any special male friends apart from those who are in my class that by majority, not even my taste.What is a taste for a 16 years old girl? I have no idea.Safe say,the boys in my class is not the type of boys that I would buang masa admire about.It was so awful even the girls in my class did not fancy any of them.

I have to admit that I am the type of girl that man won't look twice.Maybe, because I simply never bother looking at them.Kang kata diri ni buruk, low pulak lah self esteem.Tak bagus kutuk diri sendiri.Bad for your own positive mental development.

And this Shamsul accosted me.He was just being friendly and I was this very shy 16 years old girl who have my dad's warning of 'no cinta-cinta with boys whilst in school' embedded strongly in my head.I can just brave him a smile.

The week after, we met again.I was with this friend who was so popular at school (pasal dia banyak peminat) and she told me,ahh..I know that guy.Dia ada makwe, and his makwe is our super senior.Motif pompuan ni bagitau I,I pun tatau.Tapi,deep down...she probably thought that she was doing me a favour by menyelamatkan I from the potential buaya.Shamsul said hi and chit chat a little and all I can do is just smile.

Over the time, we keep bumping into each other around the pekan and by this time,I have managed few words with him.He is such a nice young man with a healthy interest in me as a friend, which all I can afford at that time.One day he asked if he can belanja me minum ABC and makan meehun, but with condition he said,kau janganlah bawak kawan kau yang mulut macam tayar bas tu...

I knew what he meant by that.He is not this kedekut guy that tammo belanja my 'mulut tayar bas' mate.He wants to talk to me alone.According to him,I don't speak much but I'm very interesting that the quality is often hidden away by the loudness of my 'mulut tayar bas' mate.

Stupidly, I told the mulut tayar bas about it.Aidda (her real name) mengamuk bila dia dapat tahu that her secret nama gelaran is mulut tayar bas.Aidda said, dah jangan keluar dengan dia sorang-sorang...dia dah ada makwe.Point taken and besides that,my mother selalu lah cakap baik-baik dengan stranger ni nanti dia pukau lah hapa lah..taruk things in your food while you tak tengok.So, after timbang kati that nasihat, I was all set to tell Shamsul that I takleh kuar sorang-sorangan dengan dia.

Did I tell him that? No.Because my gut feeling told me that he is a nice chap.He was indeed.I accepted his offer of ABC and meehon but at the same time, Aidda was with me.Shamsul didn't mind that one bit.Aidda pon cam takdehal menterkedarah ABC and Meehon, padahal that day berapi gila kena panggil mulut tayar bas.

Yes, Shamsul ada makwe and his makwe is my senior.That's how Shamsul know me, because of her.Because he was naturally friendly,his makwe tak kisah dia chat-chat dengan I.And I think, she must also know that I'm not the perampas type.But the truth is,Shamsul's makwe was pleased about him having another interest because she herself dah ada new interest and Shamsul didn't know this.

Shamsul and I (along with mulut tayar bas) become friends for years.When I was at PPP in Shah Alam,Shamsul was offered to do a degree in Manchester.By this time, his makwe is history but Shamsul has never short of a company of a gorgeous women.Like I said, he is very friendly.Dengan kambing poun dia berborak.

While I am finishing my preparatory course,Shamsul is flying off to UMIST.And we still keep in touch.When I arrived UK for my course,we meet up again.Go out.I got this feelings that he enjoyed my company although I know that I am not his type.So,I never expect anything from him apart from his company.He took me out watching MU games many,many times.I pulak tak sampai hati nak cakap no. Nak tak nak,I kuatkan hati aje gi tengok bola dgn dia.This very close friendship has been going on for 5 years.No feelings involved.I don't have a boyfriend because most of my free time finished spending it with him doing things he like.I started to wonder and began to 'cool off' slowly.He noticed this.Because we talked about almost anything, I told him him why I wanted to cool off.I told him that he is practically my boyfriend because we always do things together and I think I should start having a proper relationship with a right person.And I can't do it if I keep spending time with him.

He paused.Not like him to pause long time like that.Then he said..I like you.I really like you. I said to him, I know and I smile like always.He went again, with a serious tone, I really, really like you and this time he hold my hand.

He finished his M.Eng and is leaving for home.I have another year to finish.By this time, I am his girlfriend but he still enjoys his casual friendships with many many girls.I developed feelings for him over the years after he confessed his feelings but deep down,I know that this is all a scapegoat.But,I have already crazy about him, because, he was indeed the only man.

I accompany him to the airport. He was tearful.This is the first time we are going to be seperated,literally.On the verge of his anxiety of being seperated, he proposed.

He is in KL and I was in UK and we telephone a lot.He told me what he does and his plans were and I am trying hard to finish off early so that we can make it official.I haven't told anyone yet about our 'engagement' apart from mulut tayar bas.

Exactly a year after he left UK, I came home.But he was too busy to come and meet me.That went on for a month.I started to feel that he is trying to avoid me.But I never pester him.It has always been on his terms, simply because I don't have any.

One day, he call.He sounded different.I can't tell how different but it is just strange.We meet up.I was so pleased.I haven't seen him in ages and I really miss him.When we met, he is this sucessful man with a nice car,I knew about that because he mentioned it in his calls to me.

We sat down over a meal.I was the only one talking this time and he smiles a lot.In the car, he stopped somewhere familiar and he gave me an envelope.I opened it.It is a wedding invitation.He is still quiet.

After 10 years of going out together, Shamsul decided to marry someone else.How I took it? I tell you tomorrow along with the story of the second Sam.