About Me

Friday, October 03, 2014

Stories...That We Like

Stuff that you read about your friends on their statuses updates kenkadang, is too good to be true kan? We do wonder...
 
a) Adakah laki sebaik dan se mithali gittew?
b) Adakah hidup se perfect gittew?
c) Kenapakah ko vangang sevegittew???
d) Deyy..who wants to know?
 
Sebagai seorang manusia biasa dan mempunyai perasaan menyampah adanya...I must say that at times puji-pujian melangit tujuh ni adakalanya bisa mencucuk mata dan hati.
 
Sebetulnya, kata-kata pujian kepada seseorang manusia ataupun kucing itu adalah afdal jika ianya terbit dari mulut pemuji yang neutral iaitu, orang yang takde hubungan dekat dgn orang yang dipujinya itu. Betul tak?
 
Is in our nature (or is it just us Melayu) yang mengamalkan self deprecating humour..i.e. lagi you kutuk anak bini laki you, lagi baguih. Sebab akan adanya mulut palat yang akan kata bila kita puji anak kita nanti..haaa, pujilah melambung, sok sok anak kau jadi sekian sekian. kan?
 
This is the downside of this social media ni. Hal private should remain private kan? I know of this couple yang laki bini adalah pengikut ajaran Islam yang tawadduk gitu. Laki dia imamkan dia semayang pun dia nak habaq kat orang. Sebetulnya, tidaklah menjadi kesalahan..ye la..baguih la laki kau tu ada nak jadik imam ko anak beranak. (well, so is other men around the globe yang takdelah bini nya nak bawak smart phone time semayang Jemaah kannn?)
 
Can I ask, what make you..the proud wife feels the needs to share this? Is it important for the world and your friends to know how pious you husband and wife is?
 
Then....the need to tunjukkan kat orang akan kepandaian anak you buat blueberry muffin dan seangkatan nya. Okay lah..budak tu baru naik jah 4. Kita dulu darjah 4 Uwan suruh buang tahik ikanbilih dah rasa nak buat protest jalanan. But now, thanks to your Mum's smartphone, seluruh warga Kampung Pandan tahu yang anak kita dah pandai buat muffin untuk minum petang seisi rumah. (and somewhere in kekampung, ada akak darjah empat yang terpaksa belajar urus rumah dan adik adik kecik sebab omak nya kena kerja siang malam)
 
Wahh...the risk of kita tegur benda2 camni ialah si pemuji tegar anak dan laki akan kata kita jeles. Jeles kah kita sebenar nya, kak wok oiii?

Rata-rata kita sebenarnya amatlah menyampah membaca status-status pujian-pujian cenggini. Reason being...we actually don't know why. Hakikatnya rasa menyampah..tu saja. I think kita ni sejak azali tak biasa dgn kata-kata compliment. Kita jarang dengar laki puji bini....openly. They knew how wonderful their other half is...superwoman lah...handy woman la..anything they can think of. Yes, wives do get compliment from their husband and that is usually behind close doors.
 
Men have this funny idea that they like you to think the opposite. If they kata you malas, it means you are actually rajin. So men is actually weird in their own way too. They don't say what they mean walaupun suka mengaku kat dunia yang they are actually the most straightforward creatures. Pundek la kannn.
 
Truth be told that..we actually enjoy stupid funny stories. The more fun, the more kutuk you awarded your family member will make the most likeable stories. Some mothers psychoanalyse their young child...narrating their observations. I read about one mother thinks that her boy has exemplary emotional intelligence. The boy is just 5. Yes, and the whole world has to know.
 
Fact is, that we only like to read kata-kata pujian terhadap anak, laki and bini ni bila kawan tu dah tak ada or ada 3 hari lagi nak hidup.
 
Then you read about how your friend nak mendidik anak nya berdikari dgn memasukkan anaknya ke sekolah asrama yang sepelaung jauh nya dari rumah. Good for her lah..dgn dunia sekarang yang penuh pancaroba nya bila bebudak yang mengontrol makpak, maka ada baik nya budak tu dihumban masuk sekolah asrama dan belajar lah hidup susah kann?
 
Tapikan uolssss....kesusahan dan keberdikarian apakah yang budak tu boleh belajar bila saban minggu makpak nya datang bawak juadah buffet hotel adanya kat anak kesayangan depa tu? Tak cukup dgn itu, makpak bersusah payah pulak menjadi dobi bergerak anak nya. So, apokah makno eh itu semuo? Kita yang saban minggu disajikan dgn status hapdate omak nya ...of all these details...serasa nak tergelak terbahak-bahak pun ada.
 
Percayalah uols....tiada siapa antara kita yang memcemburukan hidup uols yang perfect itu. Malah saya percaya para-para isteri yang gersang perhatian dan pujian dari laki ini juga mahu belajar dari uols bagaimanakah caranya menjadi super nanny dan super isteri.
 
But we also know that life..isn't that all perfect. Disebalik cerita-cerita pujian melambung uols tu, akan tersorok jua cerita sedih dan tak sedap didengar. Macam..ada satu bini yang suka puji-puji laki dia ni yang satu taman perumahan tahu mempunyai mulut macam mak joyah.
 
You tell me, which status update will you like more
 
a) My husband thinks I am his truest love and he loves me to death
b) My husband listen to Angelina Jolie more than me
 
If you like 'B', you are normal.
 
Husband and wife don't compliment each other when they're in public together. Trust me. So bila you dengar bini ngata laki and the other way around, maka toksah lah you tuduh orang tu suka menjatuhkan air muka masing-masing ya? That is really normal.
 
What's not normal is..you and your male or female friend dok ngutuk laki/bini you dalam whatsapp. I am not talking about group whatsapp ye...
 
 

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Clean Cut

Diam tak diam..meroyan tak meroyan..dah setahun jugaklah saya balik menetap di Malaya yg indah itu. Sebagai penduduk tetap UK, saya balik lah juga menunjuk muka kat Richmond Park dan juga di kedai fish n chips.

Ever since...I have lost some cats and friends too. Losing cats was rather traumatic. Ada yang cerai hidup dan mati. Cerai mati tu..nangis berpanjangan la jugak. Yang cerai hidup tu, entahlah...adakalanya terasa nak sasau. Cerai hidup selalu nya rasa macam takde closure kann? Sebab nya, we don't know where they went, and why..tau tau dah ghaib. Breaking up with a partner pun cenggitu gak..kalau dianya mati...at least ada gak lah kubur nak di visit (or NOT)  but kalau yang masih hidup, though dalam mahkamah syariah and masa nak berputus, dah habis segala sulh and discussion they exhausted, dah cakap reason why and why things didn't work out..hatta kalau terpaksa putus sebab samdol tu tertangkap or terada hubungan sulit dgn lain orang, you will still wonder why. People don't always tell you everything.
 
So, apakah definition sebenar clean cut itu? Adakah ianya habis dalam ertikata seperti habisnya hutang credit card dan rumah, maka kita dah takde apa-apa hubungan dgn sipemberi hutang tu lagi? Well...kalau dgn bank or kedai hutang boleh lah kann, clean cut dgn manusia tu sebenarnya tak ujud tau.Hiksss.
 
Ada yang putus dgn boipren lama. Ni kes chenta gorilla lah jugak...relationship punya meter dan berat kearah nak kahwin gitu. Tapi jodoh takda. Dua dua kahwin dgn orang lain. Tah sapa lah punya idea bernas yang suka nau kata..when they decided to enter into marriage, it be a new beginning. Baik jantan or pempuan. Kahwin is like a penyelamat gittew.
 
This often get blame when something turned sour. Ada yang kata they girl he married has changed etc etc. Padahal apalah sangat perubahan nya pun kalau tak size badan.
 
Then pompuan will say things like the jantan they married..pun dah berubah. Menjadi munyit.
 
Here's a theory. Human likes and prone to imitate what they think is good for them. Kadang kadang tu, common sense depan mata pun kita takleh Nampak so kita memerlukan bantuan partner kita tu. I used to go out with one selfish person. Cisss...so between us, kalau kita pergi travelling I lah yang akan selalu mengingatkan dia yang alangkah baik nya kalau dibelikan cenderahati pada sedara mara dia tu. Of course memula adalah bantahan seperti, eh..what for dan etc etc. Tapi sebagai partner yang berdedikasi dan juga, kalau orang puji partner you, bukankah you juga akan mendapat credit pujian jua? Maka kenkadang kita ambil inisiatif sendiri seperti membelikan buahtangan dan lepas tu pi lah cakap kat sedara-mara kita yang inisiatif tu juga adalah datang dari laki/bini kita juga (padahal takde nya)
 
Lama-lama, partner kita yang buruk perangai tu akan tersadar dari kelakuan buruk nya dan akan mengambil inisiatif sendiri...meniru perbuatan baik kita tadi. Ye tak?
 
Aruah Appa I, kenkadang mempunyai masalah social yang amat kronik. I remember yang dia boleh pergi rumah orang dan duduk di corner sensorang tak bercakap dgn sesapa. Nasib baik la my Amma tu kira pencetus ummah lah kira nya for she will ask her brother to pergi layan my Appa and pi buat all the small and big talk.
 
See, the wife sometimes need to take the lead. Kutuk laki pun adalah perkara yang perlu dibuat juga untuk menghilangkan stress but dalam masa yang sama, you would like it of people compliment on how your husband has changed so much since he married you, kan?
 
But of course, we can't help it when marriage didn't work out...kalau dah takde apa yang membuat kita dgn dia happy maka, cari je lah jalan lain. But as much as kita nak kata kita dgn dia clean cut, kita tetap jugalah setelah 600 ratus tahun akan dating still kata, my ex dulu camni, camni dan camni.
 
So yes...what's the clean cut all about? Nothing. We still have something unsavoury to say about each other. Amicable separation yg nak di vanggakan sangat tu setakat you tak cakar dia dan dia tak terajang you. Tu aja.



Thursday, September 25, 2014

Pressure & Encouragement

Do people still read blogs nowadays? (when you have pesbuk yang agak banyak lah jugak drama nya kannn?)
 
I don't know. Kedatangan I sendiri dalam blog adalah amat parah. Nasib baik lah I ni takda penyakit nak pressure pressure orang update blog untuk kepuasan hati sendiri.
 
Speaking of that....tell us, what's the difference between pressure and encouragement?
 
Dulu adalah kenalan I ni. Depressed lah adanya kerna katanya badan nya dah sebesar tong drum. Sarung apa pun dah tak chantekk la kat mata dia. So forever she strive nak nguruskan badan. If you ask me, yes she is slightly overweight...but tidaklah overweight to the extent menyakitkan mata dia dan orang lain or the type yang nak bawak diri sendiri pun seksa. If she lose some, surelah akan Nampak presentable banyak...but still, thin or plump, she is pleasant to look at.
 
Everyday lah I dok encourage dia swimming lah..itu lah ini lah...and she pulak is the type yang you suggest something positive satu i.e. naik bukit, she will tell you two reasons why she shouldn't...ada hantu la, leceh la..pacat la.
 
So I stop making verbal encouragement. I snapped every photos of gym I come across and hantaq la kat dia. Dia jawab ---you are turning into my mother so stop pressuring me. So I stop. Hati rasa macam sial ye...but mengenangkan dia tu kawan and the unattractiveness is the worst feeling in the world for a woman, so I keep my mouth shut.
 
When people and when this people is your friend keep banging on about how I need to lose weight, how I need to do this and that and masih gak tak nak mengubah cara dan gaya hidup nya yang kuat melantak tu, what will be the most polite way to talk to them?
 
I am sure we have million and one things to say to her but not to her face, kan?
 
Here's facts. When come to crunch, pressuring and encouraging manner can bear very uncanny resemblance. What your friends really want to hear when they ngadu kat you yang dia dah gemuks dan semua bebaju keroje nya sempit zip dah nak terlerak is..ehh, tak lah mana ada gemuks..or elehh..gemuks sikit ja...aku lagi cam badak etc etc.
 
Don't dare suggesting Scotland Weight Management. Don't.
 
Dulu masa I kerja kat menjadi staff gomen kat UK, boss I gigih suruh I buat Master. At times I think I should..nak compete lah dgn staff lenlain yang tinggi tahap akademik nya. But I pulak ngenang kan, haiyoo...payah tul hidup dan tak daya nak korban kan the year just for it. So unconsciously I resent the idea by giving excuses. The person I was seeing at that time pun idoklah academically challenged so, encouragement dari dia mmg tarak la kannn. Not, at that time I wasn't ready. I can still hear the excuses I made.
 
I have friends who made it through the PHD level. Ada yang sudah and ada yang sangkut. As a friend, I do my best to encourage. But itu ajalah yang kita boleh buat pun. Nak bagi nasihat lelebih or encouragement lelebih, saya pun taraf first degree saja, so apalah kelas nya.
 
I saw my supervisor recently and we discussed few cases. We discussed this too, how encouragement can somewhat lead to pressurising. We both agreed that it depends on the person on how they take the words of encouragement. If orang yang terima galakan tu tetiba menjelma jadi biawak dan bersikap defensive, maka dia adalah problem nya sendiri dan bukan kita si pemberi galakan.
 
So, where do we stand in the scenario nak cakap tak cakap salah ni? Nak play it safe pun susah sekarang...because if kita cakap I takde comment kang, kawan kita ingat kita tak supportive pulak kan?
 
Kan ke senang je cakap cam ni..if kawan kita tu rasa dia dah nak sama size dgn Syanie, cakap je lah..a'ah la..mmg you dah gimoks..so, ikut you lah nak buat camna.
 
Atau yang set suka ngadu hal laki dia dgn you...acknowledge je la..ye la, nak buat camana kannn?
 
Terlebih encourage kang macam memberi pressure pulak. Nak mengadu bebanyak kang orang kata attention seeking pulak...(well nak ngadu nasib pun kena berhati hati gak sekarang ni ye)
 
Bak kata boss I...wish her the best lah.
 
So kepada yang tgh dalam venture nya..menguruskan badan ke, memikat laki ka..habiskan study ka...all the best lah ye.

Friday, June 20, 2014

World Bestest WhatsApp Group

1) The Chef
From the conversations..be it one way or mutual way, memang kerja sidia ni masak, masak dan masak. First thing she will tell you what she will or have cooked for breakfast. So fixated with the dunia masakan, kalau dia tak masak pun, she will tell you apa orang lauin masak i.e. time dia kesiangan dan menapau nasik lemak depan rumah nya..so she will tell you what lauk she picked. She is the expert, I'm telling you. If one member cakap, her kari ikan or assam pedas tak jadi, this chef can tell from afar yang apa condiment yang kurang. You bagitau lah dia yang ayam masak kicap you tetiba rasa macam Milo Ice, she will say, ohh..tadi you agaknya tertuang Milo instead of kicap Mahsuri ..gittew. Since your 'force' entry into this group, you taktau nak balas conversation nya tang mana..ye lah, kepandaian memasak hanyalah limited kepada mihun goreng, tu pun atas bantuan serbuk perencah. For the life of you, you can never tell what effect a daun kesum can have in a lauk let alone to disperse petua on how to defrost ayam tanpa membuang rasa 'manis' ayam tu. Hek elehh...tah mana part yang manis kat ayam tu pun you taktau, apatah lagi nak tolong preserved, kan??? Once upon a time The Chef was a banker. But she said she had enough of trouble orang gaji lari..pendek kata, in her household, yang belum lari dari rumah nya hanyalah dirinya..so she said to her Encik Asben, she want to be FT mum. She has started her FT chef job last year, so since last year lah conversation dia dgn orang adalah berkisar tentang serai dan patologi Ikan.

2) The busiest PA
Yes, you hardly hear her talk..apart from ocassional hello...salam...stresss stresss hu hu hu. But a round of applause is due to her. Sebab dalam pada dia busy-busy tu, we know where she shopped, her selfies with recent handbag, her selfies at high tea, tea party, slap up dinner function, her spotless office desk, pemandangan dari dalam kereta berlatar belakangkan lambang Lexus dan accessories terbaru dirinya.

3) The Born Again Muslim
Once upon a time, she was ALL that. Boipren keliling pinggang. Admirer taking turns to pursue her. Satu pergi seploh mari orang kata. Kalau hari ni clash dgn boipren C, she no need to nangis-nangis or buat post mortem perasaan to see or reflect what went wrong. All that NO need. Because by the time C is 2 step behind, D dah datang ketuk pintu. Gittew lah popular nya. POMMM! She went for Umrah. She came back Wardina bordering Abby Abadi. Everything is Islamic. It seems like she has no recollection at all about her past. Her daily posting is ayat-ayat Quran, Hadith and the like. Syukurrr. But the problem with born again Muslim ni...like what I just said, she has no recollection about her past. Everything that came out from her mouth are so militantly extreme that you even question where have you known her from...sekolah pondok ke aku dulu? Gittew. To this born again Muslim, syiar Islam orang lain semuanya salah...tak macam dia punya. Like any other muslim extremist, she is also anti Yahudi. Not only Yahudi....she is also actively hating other non Muslim. She is against anything that have no sijil halal...including ABC kedai Swee Kang yang dia dah pulun dari zaman telanjang dia tu. Cadbury furore has turned her hysterical...in her FB. If your tudung is not syariah compliant...short of few cm maka your tutup aurat effort is useless. Her ustaz of course is better than yours. You don't play-play.

4) The Entrepreneur
Okay, truth be told, she was the one who initiate the group...hence the admin. Well, her ayat penyedap ego was, masa kita kat sekolah, kita adalah puak2 yang happy. She misses all that and wish to relive the glory of girls just wanna have fun (katanya) again. FUN lah sangat. After a while, you are struggling to define FUN in between iklan supplement Cakleee and Telekung Lycra murah. Her idea of fun is you ordering kuih muih cupcakes kek bertingkat laskar pelangi on a weekly basis. Then of course, her signature health products cures all the penyakit in the worls (kecuali mati) and she got the longest testimonial of her happy customers that she is more than happy to cut and paste and flood your timeline with.

5) Nabila Huda (The)
Hmmm. She got reputation...but she was the pandai one. She and Born Again Muslim was orbiting the same galaxy. With the label, no prize in guessing whether or not dia dah dapat cahaya kebenaran macam Born Again Muslim. Now, she became Born Again Muslim target to nasihat. Nabila Huda being her Nabila HUda self, today if you tegur she V shape t shirt is dangerously low, tomorrow she will upload her pic with two piece bikini sipping ....Sangria. You think she care ah? Secretly we think Nabila Huda enjoyssss being the centre of kutuk attention. The more you kutuk, the more she will tell you she don't care what you think....though...if you read between the line, she actually care so much that she upload her daring photos daily. She wants you to say something about her smoking and drinking. Of course she care...kalau tak takkan dia update status dia berhentikan anak dia dari sekolah KAFA, ye tak? Dia nak kau meghoyan lah tu Born Again Muslim oiii....

6) The Reluctant Members
There are 4 of us. The only text you can see from us is 'Wasalam'. Sebab tak jawab salam kann dosa..nak nak situkang bagi salam dah demand you jawab salam nya and those dalam hati version is not counted. The 4 members...god knows mencari alasan high and low nak keluar group. But together they fear, the other 5 members kecik ati. So they endure...endure..and endure. Accumulating dosa kering they said. One was saying that No. 1 and No. 3 should have their own group because ..they both chatted so much about things only the both know. Hek elehhhh. If No. 1 masuk cakap pasal Ayam Rosemary, No. 3 will sing her praises like No. 1 akan masuk syurga or collect banyak pahala sebab melayan swomi nya. The reluctant members has long suspected that No. 4 is the dalang...and that she (No.4) created the group is for the sake of nak majukan bisness. One of the reluctant member asked, eh..if No. 3 is so alim, why is she pokpeking about malam jumaat business with No.1 and No.4?  But we really have to salute this bunch of reluctant members...they care about the other 5 feelings so much that they are dying inside something rotten. Biorlah dosa kering bertimbun tapi sesungguhnya, kita jgn lah keluar dari group ni takut kengkawan kita tu kecik ati.

7) The One That Got Away
Muahahahahahhaha. It is me. The reluctant members was saying that I missed a lot of news because I left the group. Truth is..they are envious. How did I got out?  Well...people say, the crime that you must watch out for is the opportunist crime. I took the opportunity and strike. Something like kes ragut but of course, not as bad as that. I have endured so many bullshit. Air mineral haram sebab jirat cina malarkey, some silly fatwa don't know written by who...all those ayat suci yang di translate mengikut citarasa dan mood sendiri oleh Born Again Muslim. One day, can't remember who...shared the picture of orang mati. Well..BINGO. I gave my piece of mind with onslaught of kata-kata hikmah lagi psycho. Then I click exit group and delete. How brazen. I told the reluctant members...keep looking for more opportunity to escape. This WhatsApp group is like a house with no pintu pintu belakang. You cannot leave senyap2. Your exit will be published and forever scarred the brain of the other hardcore members. I know of the other two who got away..but the trouble that they had to go through...telling the other phone depa hilang and phone baru takdak WhatsApp and secretly had to maintain the other phone line other group members don't know about. The price they have to pay is to hidup dalam ketakutan....ketakutan untuk terserempak dgn member No. 4 in the real world and forced again to give phone numbers to be re added.

Nasib la kau Melah ehh.


Psst. I am planning to make this blog exclusive for a little while. This is your opportunity to be gone forever as a protest for my fickle-mindedness.But to those who wish to stay, you know what to do. :)  If I am gone, I am gone okayyy?  Tata bebeh.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Equal Ops Racist

Yuhuuuu uols. Tell me why we are so addicted to social media bendalah punca nya kenaikan BP yang bertingkat-tingkat?

Disebabkan saya ni telah menjadi penduduk area Jin Bertendang ni...well, to some, but ni lah tempat nya I cari makan ye uols, sejauh-jauh alam pun. ...maka adalah wajar jugalah saya masuk Pesbuk page diorang yang rerata ahlinya adalah berbangsa Chee Chong Fun ittew.

Setelah menduduki Negara-Negara luar dari Malaya, rasanya, bangsa yang boleh digeneralise adalah bangsa Yennadey je uols. Walaupun mereka adalah British Yennadey, and I am sure people can vouch this, berlagak tak hengat bila mendapat kuasa tu adalah perkara biasa.

Semasa saya menolak trolley dulu, pernah juga Yennadey yang berpassport BIRU dan berkemahiran ber skipping USA ..err USA ye walaupun nama nya Tharumalinggam Veerasamy..tu dia hengattt. Biasalah USA uols, po tayyy toesss, oh my guard...gittew...telah mendemand dia pakai toilet Business Class kerana katanya dia tak nak share dgn bangsa Yennadey yang lain yang tak reti menjaga kebersihan katanya. Katanya lagi...SQ musti mau ada toilet untuk European dan American.

Seperti biasa, saya hanya mampu menjawab, our lavatory is open to all nationals, Sir :)

Then masa saya kerja dgn gomen UK kannn....opkos ramai medical professional nya berbangsa Yennadey. Di Uk pulak Yennadey kenkadang ber feeling mereka lagi whackkkk dari gagak. Nak nak yang muda2, as if Rappers Snoop Dog tu sebanrnya berbangsa Yennadey la mereka tiru dressing and style abis-abisan. Ptuiii.

Berlagak nya...tuhannn sajalah yang tahu.

With social scenery in Malaya goings sideways now...ye lah, dgn Melayu ngata Cina, Melayu ngata Hendia etc etc, dengan kewujudan PEKASAM yang konon nya nak menyelamat kan melayu, hel elehhhh haiii.

Lately pulak...ada pulak lah yang buat mcm mcm provocation kannn, dgn memula tu si Sohai dua ekor tu ajak Muslim bukak puasa dgn Bak Kut Teh. Maka ngamuk lah melayu...tanpa mereka sedari yang reaction tu lah yang si sohai dua ekoq tu nak tgk. Bangsa melayu and babi, like allergic kuasa dewata gitu. DNA babi terlepas masuk dalam badan, nak cuci darah lah sanggup nya.

The Melayu said..the sohai insulted the Muslim. But ramainya jejantan muslim pi melepak kat Subang Parade sewaktu semayang Jumaat, tak lah pulak menghina agama, kan?

Dua hari lepas, adalah sorang MELAYU ni ngamuk dalam FB page tempat I kerja ni. Katanya posting dia (yg mempromote kelas exercise) telah di padam oleh admin yang juga adalah Ching Chong Fun. Dia tuduh admin adalah racist dan mengeluarkan kata2 kesat barat ye uols. Sampai I terpanggil la untuk tegur. I ni kan kenkadang suka pulak ter emo dgn kebodohan melayu...ye lah, buat malu lah depan kaum  Ching Chong Fun tu kann? I cakap lah..tengok la rules page ni, activity business mmg tak dibenarkan. Takdenya racist oii.

Dia kata I kiss ass tau, uols!!! Pastu habislah dia panggil orang retard lah eff eff semua kluaq dan puak Ching Chong Fun ni pulak dgn diplomatic nya menjawab tohmahan.

Wah uols...kenapakah bangsa Melayu kita jadi kurang hajar camtu uols? I banyak betul tengok komen kata2 kesat. Nak kata Ching Chong Fun tu mulia sangat bahasa idok lah I tahu kan..kalau memasing dah komen cakap Cina, but yg melayu ni cepat benar jump the gun, dan bercakap mcm orang tak sekolah!

Then I pulak still cannot brain iklan-iklan jamu Melayu yang musti cakap, suami saya kata semenjak saya minum air akar etc etc, saya telah ketat etc etc macam memula kawin. Ewww tau uols..ewwwwww!

I think it would be unfair to generalise race...ye lah, kalau yang dah keturunan kuat mencarut tu uols, tak kisah lah melayu ke Cina kannn?

Karang kalau kita kata, bangsa Melayu ni tak rajin membaca dan kureng ilmu, kecik lah pulak hati. Tapi memang betul tau. Tadi I sindir kawan FB I ni sedas...well setelah hati dah tak tertahan-tahan dgn posting sengal nya yg sekejap-jekap Prf Muhaya pastu bila dia sampuk langsuir, mencai maki bagai... dia telah share satu fatwa or hadis lah konon yang kita ni takleh panggil laki kita Ayah ka, Daddy etc..or kita ni takleh panggil bini kita Ummi ka Mama ka..sebab akan disamakan dgn maksud nama itu..like, you call your husband Daddy, haram..dia laki kau, bukan Daddy kau. Something like that lah kann.

Bodoh nya uolssss. Siapa lak kata nama panggilan cenggitu haram? Kita ni kalau nak panggil laki kita Gajah Liar pun boleh ye....idok ke terfikir, yang Allah itu maha bijaksana, kita ni panggil satu nama sebab nak standardise kan , ye lah...nak panggil laki kita baby, anak bungsu pun kita panggil baby..lahhh.

Whilst one can understand that a person opinion may differ, like, kita tak lah boleh rasa kita ni je yang betul...kan? Tapi, apakah bodoh sangat kita takleh nak berfikir menda-menda yang logic?

This lady, sokmo share status UAI tu...hamboiii tak cukup dgn share status, dia tambah perisa lah lagi dgn kata-kata hikmah dia. You know, dia ni set-set setazah dah sekarang....dah pakai jubah gittew padahal masa kat sekolah dulu, kalau balik dari dating dgn pakwe ke 18 dalam masa setahun, siap bertanda-tanda kat leher ye!!! Dia bagi lah lecture kat all those fomfuens yg tak makai tudung ni (I yang tak ber cover ni..adakalanya terasa lah jugak..but hey...) and she cakaplah, don't be so berlagak and say kita kubur lenlain etc SEBAB BESOK YANG NGURUSKAN JENAZAH KO..ORANG LAIN GAK..katanya.

The fact that I pernah ternampak dia masa menziarah kematian, takde pun dia nak offer baca yassin, lagi dia mau cakap cenggitu, kann?

So, adalah status UAI yang encourage bini bagi laki kawin lebih..and dgn selamba nya I tanya dia..eh, u kan idolised pak haji tu so much, that Pak Haji kalau nak preach cara hidup bak Rasulullah nombor satu tapi dia nya bawak keta ghopa pelesit (ehh..tersasar) do you not want to share his words of wisdom yang ni pulak ke?

Berani tak jawab ye uols!

Ni lah dia melayu. Bila tegur racist, dah la mmg semenjak dua menjak terasa insecure ni jadik la racist kann? Then she PM me and kata, where's is my semangat kemelayuan?

I cakap, I ni racist gak..tapi I equal ops okay..melayu ka cina ka..hendia ka..kalau binawe, semua nya akan kena sedas.

Don't talk lah about semangat kemelayuan with me...if you are so melayu, why you hantar message dgn ayat sy nk tanye awak, ap mslh u dgn owg mayu..

Hek elehh..bahasa melayu tak nak respek, lagi mau question I punya semangat melayu???

Podah la...

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

When Difficult Conversations Go Wrong

Have you been there? Well...we all have.

We all know that we're meant to discuss problems like a rational adult. But one can't help to get emotional...and personal. Tupp....conversation escalates into a row.

People kann..always blame their current state of mind. Ohh I was a bit emosi lah masa tu, sebab I dah takleh muat baju favourite I...

Perlukah kita menyesal bila kita ter bergaduh pulak dgn orang bila tak semena-mena? Well, yes and no. All I can say is that how you feel afterwards.

If you feel useless, hopeless what have you...then yes, analyse lah balik. You both maybe wasn't in the right state of mind. But knowing yourself better, would you have a long conversation with a friend if your mind ada DNA babi..well I mean, contaminated? (disturbed)

Conversation between two person or more, should come with a warning. Ada benda yang orang cakap, kita tak suka dengar. Pastu emo. Kalau emo tu yang bangsa dok dendiam dan pujuk diri sendiri ataupun tunggu kena pujuk, takpelah jugak. But kalau dapat jenis yang emo dan terkeluar true colour i.e. perangai lahanat cam bebudak, then you know..it wasn't conversation that you had with this kind of people, but it is a power struggle actually.

People should address their bigger issue, separately..maksud I, kalau you memang ada issue dgn orang lain, jangan lah pulak nak emo dengan orang lain, kan? We often bring up an issue with the aim of getting our point across and getting our own way.

Well, sometimes when you can't, too bad lah kan.

One unsuccessful conversation, is not the end of the world. It may cost a friendship..or a relationship...but if you rethink, your issue with that person is just an accident waiting to happen. So, if you have parted ways because of bad conversation, then..you should by all mean..bersyukur lah ko ada excuse nak blah.

Masa I balik kampong bebaru ni..well, I happy tau balik kampong..walaupun orang tak happy...takpelah nak buat cemana kann? Orang suka tengok I miserable kot. This good friend of mine sudah berpotong cake dgn BFF nya. Dah banyak kali jugak lah mereka ni potong cake, but this guy dalam pada dia tu diva nak mampus, senantiasa mengingati budi baik orang tu kat dia...

I cakap lah dgn this guy...you tak bercerita keburukan dia kat orang pun dah kira baik la. You cannot always feel indebted to him (walaupun mmg lah BFF nya tu yang bersusah senang bersama) but to have a hold on people just because ko banyak menabur budi, then perhaps, you should question lah..ikhlas ke ko menolong in the first place?

I have deal with a lot of stonewaller (err menda ni Makji?------> People who flatly refuse to discuss problems and like to walk away..thinking that that make them a champion) enough to know that if you keep meeting this kind of person along your way, then your relationship dgn dia mmg la ber problem. Your difficult conversations maybe a warning signs.

Some of us may find it difficult to deal with the one yang asal nak bercakap heart to heart je, nangis. It begs you to think that dia sesaja je nangis sebab nak menang. Childish sungguh! Come up lah with so many excuse pun...but if your cries get in way, bila nya nak solve problem, kan?

I have been in a counselling where in woman...sokmo nangis aje bila dia nak start cakap. Sessions yang ke empat pun masih nangis (ngabiskan duit NHS betul tau!) sampai I fed up and tanya, everytime you want to talk about it, you cry. Nampak sangatlah willingness nak membaikpulih issue tu takde langsung, sokmo dek bagi excuse je. This is me...I am vulnerable like this, katanya ...when secara terang nya bermaksud, I will do exactly what I like (crying)

If you are this fictitious emotional wreck, be mindful that..orang akan fed up jua. nangis lah dua hari dua malam...fine, then enough with that, deal with your problem head on lah.

We cannot change other people ye adik-adik..but what we can do is to change our reaction to them..no matter who you're talking to be it crazed hostage taker. If kalau orang tu mmg set-set nak menag aje, give them lah what they want....they want you to know they're upset with you, kan? Biaq lah...so you're upset, and?

Babaiii....

Saturday, May 31, 2014

When Women Should Just Shut Up

You know....once upon a time ago when Abby Adidas was this what his face wife and was two timed, she really mengaruk like mad. She go and serang the laki..and not only that, thanks to kepandaian dia pakai computer maka dapat lah dia meluahkan segala rasa kat media social kann?

But then it gets too much..sampai orang yang asalnya kesian pun jadi menyampah dan terlintas lah dalam hati kata..laaaa, patut lah laki kau buat cenggitu.

Then pompuan pelakon yang ber chenta pulak dgn laki orang tu. The fact of the matter is the jantan tu memanglah siamang..but his siamangness got concealed by suara-suara tak ferlu bini dan gilpren nya.

Gilpren rasa dia dipihak yang benar nak saman bini orang tu....hek elehh. Walaupun kau tu, katalah..di orat secara berhemah oleh jantan tu, but knowingly you are in such pickle situation, well, nobody will take it kindly kalau ko kawan dgn laki orang, biarlah kalau bini boipren ko tu gamaknya tgh koma kat sepital.

Tak pasal-pasal lah ko kena kutuk kannn? Kena kutuk dgn Mak Merah lagi. Mak Merah dah le kutuk dgn penuh emo.

Then you nak simpati lah kat bini nya....but hey, dia pulak sama naik kata..well something in the line of terseksa la laki kena hambik and they are on the verge of splitting because of his rowing eye gitu. But, kalau barang yang dah ko nak hantar ke charity shop, perlukah nak menangisi barang tak guna tu lagi? Dah nak bercerai dah pun kannn?

I think in her case, she might win millions applaud if she cakap...hah? she's welcome to him lah...dah puas dah I and of course, take him to the cleaners lah kannn? Toksah lah main berebut anak pulak...macam Abby dedolu (pre ambik gambot telekung matching) bila Memek bergambo dgn anak-anak dia.

Then you hear Abby and her 2nd marriage. Dah pulak kata budak tu tak matang. Dia matang sangat ke masa ko kawin dulu? Pastu pi ajaq anak hang pi buat video bodo pujuk pak tiri nya.

Syaddap boleh tak..syaddap?

As much as you all minat kat anak ND Lalat tu, mulut dia boleh gak tahan laju nya not to mention over nak mampus lah kannn? Lari dari umah, buat video upload yutiup. Wahh...inside kain also want to share ah?

Then to those yang segala macam gambo nak di share kat IG. Pastu marah lah bila ada orang tegur2. Hek elehh....dah ko volunteer segala info kau kat dalam tu, bila orang nak korek, ko boleh pulak cakap..hormatilah privacy saya...gittew.

Dalam melodi jangan kata lah kann....happy kot kena interview bila suruh buruk kan laki. Well, jantan jahanam memang patutlah diburuk kan ye uols....but save it for the Tok Kadi lah. Kalau ko dah bercerita sana sini dan become publicised, you think that good for nothing laki kau tu idok ke nak gunakan against you?

Selalunya..pompuan yang kuat komplen ni, bila dibawak ke muka counselling, bila disuruh bercakap..langsung takdak idea. Ye lah...dah pi bazir minyak tempat lain kan?

Here's to..bercakaplah bila perlu dan tepat pada waktu nya. :)

Ciao.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Penyakit 2 ke 3 Kali Setahun

How far should a woman trust her instincts on men? Where does truth lead to and paranoia take over? And what price is too high to pay?
Trust your instincts but don't react until you have validated your suspicion. At least that's how I've rolled.

Gitu mukadimah nya....

Hey uols...dalam flight bebaru ni....oh yes, despite everyone worries, I flew with MH. Ada kejadian menyakitkan hati jugak but Allah telah bayar cash memandangkan beg I tu sebenornya penuh dgn barang orang yg I tolong bawak balik, maka pegawai airport yang baik hati telah meng upgrade kan I ke seat upperdeck. Heeee...happy I.

Memula..seat sebelah I macam kosong..I pun rasa sangat happy lantas adalah chance untuk membuat macam private cabin sendiri but tetiba..ada sorang budak fomfuens telah memint kebenaran untuk duduk disana daripada pramugariks tu. Pramugariks yang terpaksa membaikkan diri sebab menjaga class upperdeck terpaksa la kata ye, ye tak?

The lady was so fidgety...kejap adjust itu, kejap adjust ini..kejap bangun..kejap duduk dn I perasan tangan nya menggeletar. Setelah kami selamat take off dengan senget dan lambat nya, maka dia pun start lah angkat engkah angkat engkah...hihihi.

Kerimasan (dan well, hate to admit that I am actually a nervous flyer too) dan oleh kerana peel adik tu telah menaikkan tahap anxiety I, maka I pun tanyalah...u okay? U want something?

Terus muka nya macam nak nangis uols...infact..I think she is welling up. Maka I cabut safety belt dan bangun, dan duduk kan dia. I cakap...you sit down...I can ask the crew to find you a doctor if you want. Terus dia no,no, no,no katanya..mka teresak esak dia nangis (secara senyap) dan kata..ohh I am so embarrassed ..I hate myself being like this.

Ape ke heyyy nya minah? Tapi idok la I bertanya...(sebab I bukannya kefocheeekhennn) but I just keep looking at her and tell her that she can hold my hands as long as she needs to.

Dia tanya..you a doctor? I cakap...err no. Thank god for that (cuba buat joke Chandler Bing la sangat)
So I cakap..you relax lah...and try to sleep ...so whatever that is worrying you can sleep too.

So dia dengarlah cakap I dan melelapkan mata...masih lagi pegang tangan I tu...resah lah jugak I masa tu..ye lah, how to eat kacang with one hand, kan?

Pastu dia bukak mata balik..macam nak bercakap pulak dgn I...tapi pandang tingkap pastu dan pandang I balik. I pun cakap lah...I don't want to know if you are not comfortable telling it.

Terusssss lah dia bukak cerita....yng dia ada clinical depression...dari sekolah katanya. Dia ni sekolah kat sekolah budak fomfuan yang femes tu. (patut lah pelik perangai ehhh?) Tapi katanya...dia takde mental illness..just kengkadang, dia akan rasa depress je...2,3 kali setahun gitu.

I cakap..okay. Dan senyum...dan cakap, tak apalah.If this is your 1st episode, then you have to wait for another two...if this is the 3rd one...well, hurry til next year lah.

Gelak dia. Dia Tanya balik..you think I am mad? I said..er, No. You're having your moments. It's up to you lah if you nak panggil apa...time gila ke..time sewel ka...

So we ended up berpokpek sampai airspace Lautan Hindi uolsss. Mukadimah diatas sekali tu adalah information yang telah sukarelanya dishare dgn I oleh this lady...and unsurprisingly, contributed to her excessive anxiety.

Tapi, sampai sudah dia deny dia ada mental illness and I pun tidaklah nak menjadi setan nak bagitau dia yang errr...clinical depression? Mental health? No?

I kan sudah dilabel suka buat fitnah...so, sekarang ni, kalau orang nak mengadu nasib ke apa, kita dengar saja. Tak suka dengar tutup telinga or pandang arah lain. Gittew.

So, post kali ini nak cakap pasal ni lah....uols pernah kah mengalami masa-masa depression yang hanya datang 2,3 kali dalam setahun?

Depression is ada 2. Clinical depression itu adalah sejenis penyakit kerana is terbit dgn tetiba. Kalau takat depressed saja...itu, terbit dari tekanan sekeliling kita pada masa tu. Kira, sendiri buat lah.

Clinical Depression ni dedolu kita panggil dia penyakit bipolar dan unipolar. Tapi since tahun 2000 kalau tak silap, istilah itu ditiadakan, sebab very ambiguous katanya...so ditukar kepada mood disorder. Ia..ianya adalah mental illness ye. Just because dia macam skit ulcer yang datang setahun 2,3 kali kita takleh lah kata ni sakit hinggap hinggp.

Ye, memang malu sungguh dan mengakui kita ada sakit mental. Padahal kita ada otak. Sama macam kita ada jantung. Nasib tak baik..jantung boleh tak sihat, kan? Serupa gak la dgn otak.

Biasalah manusia...manalah nak di associate kan dgn benda-benda yang memalukan?

I think some of us do suffer moments similar to this young lady....takdelah selalu tapi adalah jugak few times in a year yang kita rasa down sesangat...hanting2 hilang pun terbit rasa nak bunuh diri gitu.

Kalau ada, tidak mengapa. Ni perkara biasa...tak perlu lah makan ubat sebab kedatangan nya tak kerap. Cuma...kalau kita sendiri dah tahu kita akan mengalami saat-saat cenggini, siap sedialah dgn relapse plan.

Kenkadang...ni disebabkan keadaan physical kita juga. Badan tak sihat...badan banyak toxin. Ada yang sokmo komplen pasal bentuk mukabumi tapi makan tak nak jaga...bersenam...hmmm.

Pastu klau kita dah berusia sikit, ataupun org2 pompun yang mengalami gangguan2 area dalaman...period regular lah...tak regular lah etc, pun vulnerable to rasa-rasa tertekan jua.

Tidur banyak pun....tak membantu jua. Some people appreciate extra sleeping time to compensate hours they spent tak tido during weekdays. Tapi kalau kita ni terlampau suka tidur, nak kena ada power nap la..lepas asar nap la..tah hapa-hapa nap la..then, rethink. Sleeping is also another form of escapism.

You nak escape dari apa lah?

So kesimpulannya...kita memang dalam sekali dua dalam hidup ataupun setahun...akan lah mengalami masalah mental. What people did not realise is that...it is GOOD that we acknowledge it..sebab kita dalam keadaan sedar.

Yang tak nak mengaku ni yang patut kita risau kan.....hmm.

After this, toksah lah masing2 membuat kerja bodoh bak Sharnaaz Ahmad ex boipren nya si penyanyi tu....yang pi jadi baghal pi scan otak dia nak buktikan yang dia takde problem.

Ko buatlah segala mak nenek scan pun....your doing presently can actually manifest your state of mind.If you ask me, that boy needs professional help.

Cheerio.








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Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Just Saying #2

Bersama-sama pakar terapi yang lain....saya akan menggossip tak hengat para-para ahli persatuan otistik tu.

Saya bertanyalah....ape ke hal nya obsess benar dgn anak 'kelainan' anak memasing ye? Jawapan Puan Terapis tu ialah..laaa, kau baru tau ke?

Ahli-ahli kekadang suka bergebang sesame sendiri...somewhere between the line merasakan yang sebagai makpak, they 'know' everything. Then you wonder why, makpak tak berenti je keroje belajar jadi therapist.

Bebaru ni saya ternampak suggestion yang....bahawasanya makpak ni merasakan yang anak mereka tu tak dipahami masyarakat dan untuk memudahkan ....maka mereka rasa, meh lah kita berpakat buat T Shirt bagi anak kita pakai....I'm Otistik, Sila Pahami Daku. Gittew.

Diriku ni tak terkata apa lah kann....sebagai terapis, sebagai pekerja social...dan sebagai responsible adult.

Iya..saya memahami yang perjalanan mak pak kekanak special needs ni agak sukar. Nak nak kat Malaya ni. Dah le gomen tak lah menolong sangatt.

Tapi...kalau kita berpakat kata, anak saya otistik sila paham peel nya yang nak berapa nak sama dgn bebudak lain, maka apa beza nya dgn kita suruh mak mak janda dan pak pak duda pakai T shirt, saya janda/dua, sila paham yang kenkadang ada masa saya akan meroyan.

Or, kat makpak kita..saya ada Alzheimer..please understand me.

Eh mak pak, kalau anak kita Autistic ka..apa-apa ka...end of the world kah?

How sure are you the community will not judge? Habih tu...orang aje ke yang perlu nak paham 'kelainan' kau?

Perhaps...parents now should consider attending therapy, eh? Anak kau kena tegur dgn orang tak boleh...habis tu kalau dia berperangai 'lain'...we are talking lain yang negative...nak dibiarkan ke tanpa modification?

Suka benar kata..ohh Negara Negara barat orang nya lebih memahami...listen listen listen yeah..sebelum diorang sampai ketahap memahami tu, macam-macam benda diorang kena face ...here's news, takde pun depa pakat bagi anak pakai T Shirt I Have Autism Please Understand me.

Ngokkk la lu.



Friday, May 23, 2014

Anak Favourite

Okay..here's Cik Siantan in action number two. I don't do personal message ye Cik Kak...I dah pernah bagi personal treatment..kononnya lah nak appreciate kesungguhan orang tu menjejaki tapak kaki I kann..but lepas tu, terasa sempit lak dunia sebab selang selangkah I berjalan, adalah yang pulak bertanya macam-macam..apa I buat, dengan siapa..kenapa etc etc.

Wehh rimas! I tak pernah control hidup orang..so janganlah ada yang nak take control hidup I pulak ye...well, just because you have been nice kannn.

So, sipenulis ni. Minat jugak I baca problem nya but sebagai seorang yang neutral kerana takde anak (unless you want to count my anak kucings) I hope I helped you with your issue.

So, let's talk about favourite child.

It's the unspoken family secret you probably daren't admit it...well even to yourself. You favour one of your children over the others...walaupun puas lah you berkompang I love them all the same.

Preferential treatment is rarely acknowledged and seldom tackled. They maybe talk of Mummy's Boy and Daddy's Girl but I think it is more often used to describe the preference of the anak. Tengoklah kann..budak tu incline sayang kat siapa.

However, such unequal love can cause lasting damage. A favoured child is at risk kena cemburu oleh adik beradik lain lah kira nya...not only that, the kononnya less favoured will have less self esteem and mula lah nak menyalah kan orang.

For parents, as their child grows up, the parents may have their own ambitions for their child and be disappointed if they are not met. Parents have hidden hopes for their child to be talented and popular. I think sometimes parents tend to forget that although memanglah ko yang membuat budak2 tu, tapi budak2 tu adalah individu tersendiri, okay?

Often we don't know why we are tempted to love one child more than the other. Like any relationship there are times when you just seems to click with someone and share the same affinity. When I was growing up, I do things my father like...orangtua tu berabis duit beli Encylopedia...I lah dok menyelak-nyelak (you want to know how I know about all USA Presidents? )

So what if you favour one child more than the other? Natural lah kannn...sometimes I cannot understand all these fusses made by anak KKS yang dok la kata mak pak I tak sayang I.

Kan senang je..kalau mak pak kita tak berapa nak favour kita sangat, maka usahlah mengharap kita nak sayang dia sebanyak lori. Thing is, sometimes..there are feelings yang terbit dari hati kita sendiri. Kita rasa macam ni...and macam ni. It is up to us if we want to use this against us. So what lah kan..ko tak sayang aku (sangat) and I am feeling exactly the same.

Ada orang rasa, dia adalah perfect child, sebab dia dgn conscious nya tak pernah nyusah kan makpak nya. Feeling that, maka dia pun rasa dia adalah sangat bagos antara adik beradik nya. Well, how can you know that..unless you sendiri nak dictate kat makpak you yang I am this perfect child...berpangkat tinggi etc etc and tak pernh nyusah kan uols. Dan I jugak adalah ATM machine.

Hew..Hew..hewww.

Perasaan macam bagos ni...kita diskus lah dikemudian hari ye.

I think as a person, it is really our choice to feel kita ni disayangi oleh mak pak atau tidak. Someone told me..dia rasa pak dia tak sayang dia sebab dia adalah anak hasil accident. Maybe lah..I pun taktau lah kannn sebab idoklah pernah I interview apak nya, but judging from perangai pompuan ni yang sokmo merasakan dunia tak adil padanya, padahal berlambak anak-anak mangsa dera bapak yang lagi gulap gulita masa depan tidak pun mengomplen mengeluh sebanyak dia. So, you have opted to be so miserable and using that ko bukan anak kesayangan excuses, nasib kau lah kannn?

Sometimes s a parents, we bound to feel that we are not close to that 'one child'. There's a child that hardly demand your attention and another that constantly menaikkan darah. Of course you gave more time to the troublemaker and by dealing with it, you may feel triumphed. Ye la..kalau anak tu malas belajar, ko gasak sampai dia rajin, tak ke ko rasa bangga? The quiet one will then go unnoticed as you don't feel that with him/her you achieved much as they have done it all without you.

But being the favourite can come with a cost too because knowing it can engender all sorts of guilt. Ye la...ko kan budak cerdik..makpak bagi lah energy lebih sikit..so yang tak berapa cerdik, macam keciciran perhatian gitu dan most probably not doing as well as you.

Yes, favouritisms hurts but you seriously can't help it. We have our own reason why we like one thing better than the other. However this feeling is best unspeakable....your kids, whether you like it or not, bound to use it against you.

It is in our nature to hurt others too...kan? Cases where you need your disappointment to be heard, you cakaplah benda macam, ye lah..mak kn sayang so and so lebih, and not me. Even if your mak sayang so and so lebih with obvious reason why (say..her first born kan?) and that fact doesn't even lessen her love to you, tetap lah jugak ko nak nyakitkan ati orang tua tu kan?


Sekian. Bye London for now.
 


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