About Me

Friday, October 27, 2006

Early Halloween

Kucing Terperanjat & Rasa Nak Meninggal

Hari ini I ada unannouce visit from someone yang I dah lama tak jumpa.I received call from unfamiliar UK landline number at about 2pm, when I was just about nak escape untuk kesian kalinya dari office.

I pun jawablah that panggilan.Manalah tahu ada Social Worker telephone nak tanya apa khabar lahabau-lahabau yang baru balik dari Rome tu.The caller bagi salam and I suspect ni mestilah melayu ni.Siapalah pulak Melayu ni (my usual suspects friends tak kan adanya call i dihari Jumaat camni.So,musyhkil jugak lah hati ni.

That guy took 15 minutes jugaklah nak introduce himself to me.Lama tu.Not because he gagap ke apa, but I yang blurr-blurr tak kenal siapa dia.Macam-macam clue dia bagi.As it is I memang slow,after 15 minutes barulah I tahu dia tu siapa,tapi masih vague lagi.

Dah about 20 years tak jumpa.Macam manalah nak ingat.Unless lah dia tu Syed Sobrie ke, Ekamatra boys ke, Acis Gersang ke, tak payah 15 minutes introduction.

Pakcik ni baru sampai London tadi pagi and he was calling me from his hotel kat Trafalgar Square nun.I'm so lucky that he talks non-stop and that gave me time to remember who he really is.Yes, we went to the same primary school,he is my brother's kawan seper 'BMX' an and his mother works in the same place as my mother.

And he wants to see me! Apa motive ni? I baru nak buat CSI, nak siasat how did he get my mobile no, considering that we never keep in touch after all this years.But it is hard to put a words in when he talk.Apparently he knows where I live by address...and buoyantly said....I ada kereta (oohhh..did I ask?), I can come and fetch you...

Macam bagus lah tu.Not wanting to insult his knowledge of London,I pun cakap, I duduk kat West London, which is quite a journey from Trafalgar.He asked again, whereabout? Tak pa, I boleh cari.Dekat dengan Big Ben ke?

He is obviously eager to travel from where he's at.So I said, okay.You naik tube,kita jumpa kat Hammersmith lah.Nearer to where I live.I also said to him that at this time of the day,takde siapa nak bawak kereta in out London.So, naik tube sajalah.Takyahlah sesusah bang oiii...

After dah bagi dia instructions how to get to Hammersmith, I pun tanyalah, mana you dapat address and my phone number? Dia pun cakaplah....

Ni yang nak marah ni.Seperti biasa, my mother lah yang akan menjadi Yellow Pages kepada seantero dunia ni.Kadang-kadang tu,dia kasi kat orang yang tak berkenaan pulak tu.How do you feel kalau ada orang yang dulu pandang you sebelah mata,tapi bila tahu you dah duduk oversea, bersusun mintak address and phone number kat my mother.Tiba-tiba pulak friendly semacam orang-orang ni.Bak kata Liza, mesti ada babi dibalik Kuehtiau.

My mother ni memang patut dihantar training pasal Data Protection Act.Bukan I aje yang complaint,adik beradik I yang lain pun ada menjadi mangsa 'kebocoran' maklumat.Tapi nak marah tak boleh, because we know that she meant well.

Tapi in this guy punya case, I dah agak dah...my mother bukan setakat nak jadi Yellow Pages aje, bahkan mesti ada ura-ura nak jadi Agency Perkahwinan ni...Believe me, this is not the first time jantan-jantan Malaya cari I kat London berpandukan peta and info from my mother...

So, I tunggulah dia kat tempat yang dijanjikan.Kat Platform Picadilly Line tu.Nak suruh tunggu kat tempat lain takut dia pulak yang sesat.He recognised me straight away.Maklumlah, bukan setakat ada address and phone number,masa raya that day (apparently dia datang beraya rumah my mother raya pertama) my mother dah tunjuk gambar.

I pun tanya dia nak pergi minum coffee tak? And Pakcik pun menurut perintah...sambil meneruskan perprokpekkan nya.Guys out there, I strongly suggest you all tukar your chat up line.Kalau dah lama tak jumpa girl that you used to know, janganlah sama sekali cakap 'Eh you dah lain ye sekarang'.That is so stupid considering the last time dia jumpa I when I was 13, so at 33, do I still have to look 13 and selebet?

You can swap that line to 'Eh,you look good...or anything sewaktu dengannya.And then, of course lah you will dapat reply from the girl..Em..you look good too.Ye lah, compliment kenalah dibalas dengan compliment.

As the coffee shop penuh dengan bebudak sekolah yang cuti half term, I pun jalan lah towards Mc Donalds.This guy tiba-tiba...Eh,halal tak? So off putting.Where are we now, Bang? This is Hammersmith, bukannya Jajahe Tumpak.

I pun cakaplah kat dia,you nak pergi minum tempat halal ke? Macam tu susah sikitlah...even kedai kopi pun tak halal because they served Irish Coffee,sausage 'kote melepuh' rolls bagai.And this guy pun cakaplah kat I yang kawan-kawan dia kata there is so many Halal Place in Edgware.I just look at him and smile.Halal pada nama aje buat apa? That Pak Arab kat belakang kedai potong daging vavi gak...pastu masing-masing minum like there's no tomorrow.

Masa ni,I dah rasa malas betul nak melayan dia lagi.What if nanti I bawak dia masuk cafe makan fish and chips ke, and he might ask if the vavi and fish fried separately...tu belum lagi I bawak dia masuk pub yang jual meals 2 for £6.00 tu.Meninggal kot dia tengok beer barrell yang besar macam tong gas tu.

He might have noticed that I'm already fed up and surrender.He just said, ikut you ajelah.And I took him to Cafe Nero.

We chat.Again guys...kalau keluar dating,ideally you should ask the ladies 'Tell me about you...because we like to be ask that.Jangan pulak voluntarily tell her about you...non-stop.And that is what this guy did.In the space of one hour, I know everything about his marriage,his divorce,his work,his promotion,who borrow his money but didn't pay back,what car he is driving,Siti Nurhaliza,his lembu kambing what not.

Muda-muda dah menduda.He described his ex like Lekiu described Bedah Bedot.Yang pergi cari bini set set cam tu siapa yang suruh? And he told me that he just got transferred here for 2 years and hope to see more of me.Hah!!!!

I have to cut the meeting short.Pasalnya,I dah tak larat dengar cerita dia and dirinya itu.Last-last bila nak balik, barulah dia bagi bungkusan yang my mother kirim kat I.Cilako.Kenapa tak bagi tadi lagi? But, orang berbudi kita berbahasa...and I insist on paying for the coffee.

Masalah besar ni.He have all the vital info about me.Takkan nak kata busy 24 jam kot? But this is early days.I'll cross that bridge when the time comes.

***Background Music - Fikirkan Dahulu - Sheila Majid***

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Han, dia ni mmg nak meminang u ols kah?? Aiyyoooo mengamuklaa nanti si Frankie ittew :P

Ermm... mmg susah kot kalau yg belum datang sini tetiba everything is so foreign..kedai kopi foreign, McD foreign.. tapi pandai pandai nak datang Europe ni, pepandailah get use to these stuff kan?

My parents pun kengkadang ada bagi no. phone and e-mail address mak to any lady students yg datang nak ber"sekolah" kat UK nih just bcos depa tuh anak kepada kengkawan my parents.. for me "Bring it on!".. kalo nak berkawan, boleh sajork tapi kalau nak dating dating tuh, mrasalah korunk terkezut besaq!!! LOL

We'l have Halloween party tomoz nite..jemputan from a colleague... have a great halloween!

p/s malam ni nak kuar..hopefully ada male stripper..nanti mak snap snap gambar kalo dia tunjuk ciknek dia!! hahahahah

:: samasam :: said...

uols!!!! i am back to damansara noww....!!! hehe

lekiu said...

Senang je nak halau peminat yang tak diundang, dulu I bagitau I gay ! I bawak mana-mana kawan PLU, selagi tak mau I raba dia depan peminat tak diundang. Gerenti peminat tu larik ! U can try like that la, U carik je kengkawan U yang sanggup berlakon, raba je kawan pompuan U tu. Tapi awas, setengah lelaki yang blur akan ingat U nak ajak dia 3 some pulak...naya nanti...hahaha.

Berkenaan Bedah Bedot tu...apa nak kata kecuali mengaku saja kami lelaki ni kaum yang lemah, bodoh dan senang tertipu.

Tapi kan orang kata chenta ni selalunya hadir tanpa diundang. Selalunya kalau ia bermula dengan benci tuh...maknanya bahaya...ada kemungkinan ia akan bertukar menjadi kasih ! Kalau ia bermula dengan suka kemungkinan besar ia akan berakhir dengan penceraian ! My 2 cents of twisted logic ! Tapi jika dianalisa semua citer Hollywood, Bollywood, Kowloonwood, Jakartawood, semuanya mendasarkan citer chenta mereka bermula dengan kebencian memuncak dan berakhir dengan kesyahduan chenta. Hanya fairy tales je yang bermula dengan suka dan berakhir dengan hapilly ever after.

Tapi kalau dah dadu tu...maaf, duda, dengan baggage 2-3 tu..err, cuba cuba lah lari melainkan kalau ada niat nak jadik bahan tulisan di blog anak tiri tentang "my wicked stepmother/home wrecker".

Jangan marah...kita maseh mood raya-raya lagi kan ? Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin.

p/s : anybody who takes pleasure in playing hide and seek about his identity for 15 minutes has to have an ego the size of an olympic swimming pool.

Anonymous said...

Lekiu...mak suka statement last u ols ittew...ego sebesar kolam renang stadium olimpik!!! hahahahah

senang je...take Frankie with u ols and raba raba lah Frankie depan kawan tuh..harus dia jilat bibir sajork!!! :P

:: samasam :: said...

jilat menjilat?? haiyoo..nak join gakssss pls.

Han said...

hey...u nak jilat siapa ni Sam ?
a) Lekiu
b) Lee
c) Mamat tu?