Update Kerna Terasa....

Iye..aku lah itu. masa sekolah tak main budak-budak satu asrama...tapi terjatuh chenta dengan Sang Jejaka Super Duper Senior nearby ITM. Dah nak wat camne....I am into older person. So kepada sesapa yang cobak nak ngenenkan I dengan adik-adik muda dari I, boleh blah lah ye...baik lah Kak jaga laki akak tu. Hiks!

Alike Kiah, I have a very strict man as a father. He is still strict with us dalam pada kudrat dah tinggal sikit tu pun. It is unfortunate that dalam reramai anak dia, jahanam besar is his eldest. Knowing how jahanam he was when we were little, I tried to compensate the family flaws (kononnya) by being the docile and the boleh harap one. Bapak kata masa sekolah takleh chenta-chenta, I ikut aje. In between, my sisters sibuk sesenyap membalas surat chenta dari sang jantan tah mana, there I was reading books like there's no tomorrow to pass my standard 5 assesment test. My father,all this time I thought I was scared of him...but the older I get, the more I realised that I am the yes type daughter because I adore him. The only thing is now, I express myself as it is...just like him.So when he was fussing about..sampai bila kau nak membujang ni...I pun dengan petah nya akan menjawab...because I feel like it. Tu diaahhhhh. Pastu i will tambah...I thought before you said NO to chenta-chenta kan? So..I am doing as I told lah ni.

Me and my current beau, we goes a long waaaaay back. I was young and naive...and in a confused state. Siamang was in his first year in UMIST. So we were separated. All that time, I was not sure with Siamang. Siamang was a happy go lucky man. I have never feel needed around him.He needs me when he needs me, when he was lonely..when he needs a good listener. And I was always there.It is true what Lobai said...men at that age will only noticed the gediks type. I know Siamang was into all the gediks girl hence he was very friendly, enriched with jokes bangang dan juga memiliki motor Honda Fame (nampak benau lah jaman jurassic nya kan????)

I was not proud of what I got myself into dengan budak ni. Dia pun ada girlfriend masa tu. But masa tu I pun dilayan macam Mawar Terpinggir oleh Siamang, so manalah hati tak berbunga-bunga bila orang lain bagi attention gittew?

This was a long time ago. Sidia ni pun boleh tahan tahap Buaya Lake Placid nya...so, hati I pun dah terpatah jua oleh nya...and the irony is, Siamang masa tu macam tahu pulak yang I dah beralih arah from him, probably sensing that I was occupied with something or someone, and dia pun start lah balik menabur janji.So there I went with Siamang again, with this person stays at the back of my mind. Until dia timbul balik masa kita tengah makan ABC kat area umah kau tu, Kiah....

Although sekarang ni masing-masing dah kata chenta..chenta...muntah..muntah...cirit birit, orang ni masih ada lagi secret liaisons nya.Baru-baru ni I tanya dia...dia pun mengaku lah. Kuciwa lah jugak I...but that day I dah pun cakap..you can do what you like over there, and I also can do what I like over here. Ye lah..kita ni dah jauh berjuta batu...tak kan nak sekat pulak human rights orang kan? But deep down, I was hoping, kalau you dah kata chenta dengan I...mesti you dah takde hati nak ber projekan dengan orang lain kan? Ohh..tidak. Needs is a needs. I aje yang masih mengamalkan konsep chenta dan perasaan. Takde chenta..takde lah perasaan...maka...takdelah aksi-aksi gelap.

The only thing that I enjoy out of this is...after a long time, I know after a hard days work, I am looking forward to ber yahoo messenger voice/video call.It is nice to feel wanted again.

Long distance love is always not easy. I have done it before.It didn't last. I have wanted this person for so many years now...and now dia dah datang balik. I have doubts but most of all, I need this distraction.

I kan memang suka mencari penyakit....ish, ish..ish.

So Many Questions

Ayomaaa...ayoppaaa...sebagai seorang yang pemalas lagi tak mengenang budi sejak azali...saya adalah ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kat kengkawan yang telah mengomen dalam entry I yang lepas.

Bila nak jawab balik, tau tau dah ada sejuta (cehh..tipu lah tu) and dah lah membuat hapdate memakai pc dan internet office yang maha slow, so agak terbatas jugaklah pergerakan tangan nak jawab satu persatu.Well, disamping pemalas laaa....jangan marah na.

I am really thankful for all the well wishers....but know you must, as much as I am overexcited tahap bulan jula juli bintang 7,8 &9, maka I ni perlu juga mengingatkan diri ini yang...pada suatu ketika dahulu, ini adalah scandal yang tak menjadi.So, walau sehangat mana pun sekarang...as memetik kata-kata orang itu, I'm different now (kata dia lah...) setinggi-tinggi I dah melambung ke cloud 9, potensi untuk jatuh berdebub debab on the hard earth adalah cerah.

Kiah kata (amongst other things Kiah said) that kita hidup musti enjoy. If this one doesn't work...like other London Transport services, trains and buses datang every 15 minutes. There's always another one coming along after another.

I nak jugak enjoy....sebabnya...I ni set-set skima yang tak pandai enjoy.I work hard...I blocked everything out. So sekarang ni I tengah enjoy lah....tapi, apa yang nak dienjoy kan?

I have been busy at work, too. So mana-mana langsuir yang kata I ni kena penangan chenta sampai tak hupdate, adalah salah belaka.Tapi, I ni idoklah kecik ati orang nak kata apa-apa, ye lah..kan ke usik mengusik membawa bahagia. Walaupun yang mengusiknya tu pun pemalas jugak nak hupdate blog nya.

Tapi hati ni masih ada sangsi...(tu dia...BM tahap MRSM dah keluar nah?) Ye lah..orang tu tunggu 15 tahun baru nak nampak yang I ni ujud. Baru nak nampak yang I ni baik hati...and baik segala benda. Macam kes dengan Siamang...mengapa baru sekarang? Adakah muka ku ini muka 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th choice? Adakah kerna kita ni tak rajin buat bising....kita kena sidelined begitu lama and bila dah habis kena mistreat dengan manusia lain, baru terkenang kat aku ni? Alike Kiah..MB's told me not to think about other things. Enjoy aje lah katanya...you have had the bad years, so enjoy this while it lasts.In fact, now is a good time as any to paint the town red, yellow and blue katanya.

Ceh...kalau nak menggalakkan aku jadik Bohsia tu nombor satu, kan? Ingat kita ni budak TKC agak nya....

Sometime we wonder why....why aren't good things happens (late) to good people? We wanted something so badly....tunggu bertahun, bila dah sampai, kita question pulak...dulu apasal tak nak? One should say...okaylah...this is your time, your prayers is answered. But kepala hotal yang mega inquisitive serta hati yang tak puas akan tetap bertanya...ey, teruk ke aku dulu sampai kau tak nak?

So, yes. I should be so happy..or so lucky,lucky, lucky. But why now? I wish I can do that too...main-mainkan hati orang...so bila dah boring...pi cari balik orang tu.

Hati tu ada nak jadik bohsia Kiah......tapi....tak expert lah pulak.

Update

Memang dah menjadik lumraah mak-nu-sia...kalau orang lain tak hupdate..nampakkkkkkk aje. pastu speku, speku dan speku.

Just because dia tengah buat PHD, maka adalah alasang nya kalau ku tanya..oii Pook apasal kau tak hapdate, dia akan cakap..aku busy laa, Poon. So, bagi I yang tak buat PHD ni, takde alasang kukuh yang boleh diberikang. Nak tak nak, demi menjawab mulut puwaka kat Tag Board ku ittew, maka saya dengan ini adalah menghupdate dengan protest.

Ye, I adalah busy. Bukannya busy buat KL-JKT marathon macam Desert Rose tu. Pun begitu, hati ini tidak dapat menahan kejelesan bahawasanya, ada lagi wanita-wanita yang bernasib baik dalam duniya ini yang boleh menjadikan shopping secara berjemaah hobi masa lapang nya walaupun semput. Desert Rose, apa kata kau buat website motivasi 'Cara-Cara Mengabiskan Duit Laki Dalam Masa Satu Hari Tanpa Rasa Berdosa'. Nescaya kau akan mempunyai ramai followers dan salah sorang darinya ialah Kiah.

Semenjak I balik dari Malaysia ni, I rasa macam nak pasang resolusi pulak. Hari ni tadi, berterabur orang dalam FB buat status update pasal Perak. Orang Perak sepatutnya bersyukur kerna mempunyai Raja Muda yang amat hensem (bapaknya pun dedolu hensem gak) and sebagai tanda kita meng appreciate kehenseman Raja Peghak, we must, we should hang on to their every words. Of course I have an opinion about their recent political malarkey but since I pun bukannya penduduk tetap Malaysia and after my comments about kepala lembu lah..nama Allah...dan menjolok sarang tebuan yang mega sensitive, maka biarlah saya mempunyai pendapat dalam diam aje and teruskan menulis bahan yang saya benar-benar expert yakni...cara menguruskan permikiran yang tak centre. I was very offended to be accused of berpropaganda gaya Yahoo Messenger like aku ni takdelah kerja lain nak buat. But, like my usual advice to others and now to myself, kalau orang yang salah faham tu, masalahnya adalah dengan dia sendiri, bukannya I. So, I pun malas nak layan. Biarlah.

Kiah & Pilot Cyber-Chendering has been hinting the burning question, followed by Mok si Wawa yang dengan sesejuk salji nya menyindir...sikit2 nak balik Paroi..ada apa-apa ke?

Ye..memang ada apa-apa. Tapi bukan dengan orang Paroi.

Kiah has transformed herself from what she specialise in now to a adhoc councellor, dalam perjalanan balik kami dari KLCC to Giant Supermarket tu. Masa makan-makan kat KLCC tu, I memang emosi sangat sampai nak menitik air mata. And the fact that I dah duduk 10 minit waiter takde pun tanya I nak makan apa, lagi menyebakkan jiwa raga..apasal, I tak chantekkkk ke? Tapi emosi tak lama...sebab rugilah nak nangis-nangis kan..bila all the food is in front of you. Kiah is ever ready to sehati berdansa nak nangis dengan I..and Bella, being awfully cute..alamakk..aku inda boleh nangis..macam mana? hahaha....blessed!

I think, in a way, Kiah gave me something she think I might need - permission to still be in love with your ex. Yes..we are referring to the one 6feetbelow. The truth is that nothing people say will change this anyway. If you're not ready to move on yet, then you're just not ready. I have all the reasons to let go and I think finally I have.

I finally believe what he said and I have forgiven him.He was the nightmare and sometimes it is easier to accept things the way they are than deal with our fear of the unknown.When Kiah dropped me (and Maggie Kari Letop, Kopok Bantal, Teh Tarik Segera and what have you) off, I realised that I have been missing out and wasting the chances of being happy. (But, Kiah only interest was the aksi panas and the lack of it)

So pada malam bulan mengambang sambil menunggu flight sepagi golap tu...I texted my ex. Of course lah this one is still breathing. We had lunch days before. Yes, there was a fling many,many years ago. I ended up broken hearted (aku ni tak habis-habis hati pecah kan, Kiah?) bila berjumpa balik ni (and we spend our extended lunch to lewat petang, sampai ku tertinggal telepon kat opis nya NBNS oii..dan membuatkan kau menjadi padi tertampi-tampi) we realised that the sparks is still there. Tapi masa lunch tu, of course lah I control ayu and tak le nak tunjuk yang hati masih ada chenta githooo.

So, I rose up to Kiah's challenge...that I must leave behind the sad episodes in my life. So, langkah pertama ialah ber flirting habis-habisan via text messages sampai last-last, tertulislah message..yeah..aku chenta..ohh..kau pun chenta. Something like that lah.

So, we have been having long distance chats, love declarations bagai. Memang I mencari penyakit. Penyakit nombor satu....I sekarang bangun sesubuh sepieee...kalau sembahyang nya takpe..tapi pukul 5 pagi dah bergayut kat telepon. Penyakit nombor dua...bila dah berchenta dalam time zone yang lain-lain, mulalah tidur tak lena and makan tak lalu sebab nak menghitung suitable time to call each other. Tapi walaupun orang kata makan tak lalu, takdelah pulak aku nampak perubahan mendadak kat weighing scale tu. Ciss! Penyakit nombor 3...sekarang ni I adalah pelanggan tetap kedai kaplam yang jual phone call yang call Asia murah tu. Every 3 days lak aku dah menonggok kat situ and not only that....well, I'm trying not giving this away, but Kiah & Bella, we may have regular lunch tawww in the future. Maka selepas ni, kapal terbang LHR-KUL to me dah jadik macam Rapid KL aje.

I'm taking my chances now. I'm facing my fear of the unknown. My only regret now..apasal lah aku takde adik beradik kerja Airlines? kan ke senang dapat flight discount. Cesss.

Update

The recent trip home was good, albeit badan I yang sakit-sakit setelah menyapu sampah seluas 2 ekar itu. The thing is, I'm not so good with household domestic, so allocation of housework telah telah di assigned adalah mengikut kebolehan si kena suruh. I cannot (won't) cook, so kerja-kerja memotong bawang dan sebagainya idoklah diberikan kepada kieww.

My mother dengan tak disangka-sangka nya decided to do a pop quiz on me masa hari kenduri kawin tu. I wanted to keep a low profile (plus taknak lah mencuri petir dari pengantin yang tak berapa baru tu) by opting to doing my round and doing the odd jobs. Tak. Dengan sesayup-sayup nya I was called every 10 minutes and disebabkan panggilan tu dibuat dikhalayak ramai, nak buat pekak pun tak boleh sebab ada aje volunteer (especially yang kecik-kecik tu) yang akan menguatkan lagi loud speaker...Mak Ngah...Wan panggil lah. So, cemanalah aku nak lari kan? So my mother decided to ask me if I know some of the guests. Some of them yang last jumpa masa aku tengah comot-comot 30 years ago, but nasib baiklah kita ni berotak Intel Pentium bukan Celeron, so I am able to remember at least 60% of them.

Most of my relatives, akan ketahuannya I ni adalah penduduk tetap Tanah British, teruslah nya pun ka skipping London gittew and not wanting to embarass them, I replied back in English and of course bila aku ber skipping, orang pun menonton macamlah aku Carol Volderman Kiah oiii. I disagree completely with Kiah yang kata I ada Queen accent, but of course when you use English as a first language in the UK, to avoid misrepresentation of words, we tend to emphasis on the enunciation.So when I told Kiah that she should TALK not NAG to her roomate, I may have boosted the T-A-L-K pronounciation, instead of 'TOK'.

Some makcik complimented depan-depan adik-abang-pakcik-datuk how 'solid' my body is. Of course mulut lancang nak jawap..ye lah...saya kan anak dara sunti, takde pencemaran getah asli lagi ni, but the mission is not to brought disrepute to nama baik makbapak, I senyum-senyum and jawab...hehehhee like kerang busuk aje.

Hasrat nak makan nasi minyak sampai lebam terhapus begitu sahaja, sebab by the time orang dah surut, nasi minyak pun dah habis ditapau oleh sedara-sedara yang tak bertanggungjawab, so after the kenduri finished, we (I dengan adik-adik I) pergi tah mana-mana tempat makan and makan nasi paprik.

Of course, missi pengaman kali ni tak lama, barang seminggu aje. So I really had struggled with jet lag, badan penat and PMS. But dalam emosi yang tak menentu ittew, I sempat jugak membuat kerja-kerja terkutuk dibelakang Kiah,one of them is membuka luka lama.

Ada jugak episode yang bagi menyakit hati..especially when people freely think yang I ni takde kerja lain but nak mengutuk orang aje.Sukati you lah.

Kiah, being a lovely person that she is (although I takdelah cakap depan dia yang dia baik...that is the true feeling, where we tend to hide it) dengan senang hati nya menjadi supir ambik I dari airport (oops..sebenornya Kiah, aku yang salah bagi flight info) and membawak I pergi shopping last minute membeli meggie kari letop ku. Kiah also kindly drove me to the area rumah Izat Emir to deliver kopok untuk NBNS yang almost nak berpatah arang dengan I sebab telah membuat janji palsu. While we were drooling tengok rumah yang bagak-bagak, we started talking about anak Izat Emir yang ada 'ehem-ehem' dengan the latest Sultan, only tup-tup, the previous Sultan mangkat on the same night. We also talked about another daughter of Izat Emir yang menjadi pojaan laki Kiah. But instead of speaking with tinge of jealousy, I'm sure me and Kiah were talking about her like a desperate-sex-starved lesbian. Kan Kiah?

I had a lot of time to think and reflect since my return. Kiah said I should move on. The moment I set my heart to do the same, the cashier boy in Giant Supermarket tu cuba nak ayat I, not realising that I'm old enough to be his Mum.Then I realised that I had encounter a lot of proposition from any walk of life and never even consider.

I got reunited with someone (pssttt Kiah, masa kita makan kat Putrajaya, dia ni lah yang call nak jumpa) and since I balik UK, there have been strings of long-distance phone calls.

Hmmmm.........adakah I mencari penyakit lagi ni?

Update

Kiah, being her thoughtful self (or she just takut ditangkap pak polisi being the last person seen with me...) texted me earlier yesterday, just to clarify (and pacify) yang aku bukanlah salah sorang suspect and penulis blog yang pi kutuk satu sultan yang baru passed away nih.

Death is hard for some people. Tak kiralah orang tu perangainya buruk ke...baik ke. You would not want to wish that on anyone, although we all know that death is always the end of one's life story.

I had wanted to update you about my recent trip back to KL, but before that...I like to remember today, the 2nd years of my ex's passing.

I never thought I'd say this, but his death was and still is hard for me.

I googled one of his favourite song today.I listened to it all day.

I forgave him...and I want to move on.

Note To Self

1. Saya ini susah sikit nak paham hint-hint kiasan.So kalau nak cakap sesuatu...cakap saja.Dalam tag board banyak yang hint-hint, panassss..panassss. Apa yang panas? Seterika ke? I ni berotak berkuasa enjin proton saga tahun 1985...bukannya BMW 1 series okeh?

2. I like to think that I am able to read and understand what I read, and therefore able to express myself appropriately.I like to say what is in my head rather than my heart (sebab kalau hati tu nak menyumpah saja bila marah kan? People must remember that I don't write intelligent journals so perfection is a rare.

3. Blog ini takde moral. Yang menulisnya pun sembahyang hit and miss.Dah le tak pandai...kerja pun dengan orang yang cacat and sakit akal. Apalah sangat pendapat dan opinion saya yang boleh dipakai? Yilekkkk.

4. Nota kepada pembawa virus gossip. Kalau nak bawak mulut pun, cerita yang dibawak or nak dicerita kat orang, perlulah yang soheh lagi benar ya. Alang-alang nak mengata sangat kan? People know that gossips info are 50% tipu dan tak betul. I think some should know that tak habis belajar tak lah bermakna belajar tak pas kan?

5. Manalah perginya pakcik jual popia basah kat TTDI tu? Penat tawwww saya cari pakcik hari ni. Pakcik dah tukar location ke? Ke pakcik dah kaya dan terus pencen?

Hello KL...Hello People.

Ayoyo..kadawale..kadawale...

Sesampainya I kat Heathrow...MB1 pun dengan sesayupnya tepon cakap kat I...eh, kenapa you tinggalkan camera you? Then aku pun baru perasan camera baru dan mahal kiewww beserta beg khas yang dibeli untuknya takde dengan kiewww. Tak ke kiewwww nak nangis????

Tadi I bloghop and Mok Wawa dah speku I nak upload gegambar durjana nak nyakitkan hati dia. Soheh dohhh....misti dia pi baca yassin noh bagi aku lupa?

So after 24 hours of journey, kiewww pun dah sampai KL dengan selamatnya dan ultra mengantuknya. I will update about the whole journey soon, mula dari cerita padayappa teksi driver yang menjemput I pepagi buta ditengah-tengah salji yang mencair tanpa nak offer pun mengangkat beg I yang berat tu until I safely tucked into kereta Kiah yang dalam diam..sambil drive, sempat makan 2 bungkus crisps tu..wah kau multitasking, sib baik kita dua tak masuk bawah lori nah?

I apologise to those yang comments nya takleh ku print kerna berbau sensasi.All I can say islah..biarlah orang nak cakap apa yang dia nak cakap. Manalah kita mampu menutup mulut Julie Sudiro ittew kan?

But what I will say....kalaulah...see remember this, IF,IF and IF, orang yang you maksudkan ittew benar-benar mereferkan entry nya terhadap kebangangan cara saya berfikir, or cara kita berfikir, maka biarlah dia.

Remember IF again, saya tak rajin membaca kerana kerja saya dah le membaca case study orang har-hari, so maybe bahan bacaan berunsur ilmiah or penuh informasi tidak langsung dibuka.But I do understand mostly what I read.

Remember IF, the previous post is about what I think of people's behaviour. Saya menentang perangai bangang. Was I referring specifically to those who joined the FB site as bangang? No. I think those who violate the church is bangang. Like you...I pun taktau siapa yang membakar or mencurah paint nya.Entah-entah orang church tu sendiri. Perangainya adalah bangang.

Julie Sudiro pun kata..hujah I dangkal. Bila lak masa saya berhujah Cik Julie oiii (oh so you masuk baca blog I balik...buat apa? Gi lah tolong jaga bapak besfren you tu, angkut dia balik masuk sepital kat Malaysia) I think, if ALLAH is not use in some form or shape of deragotory, slanders or anything malevolent, biarlah orang bukan islam nak guna pun.Always remember, I wrote things as I see it. I am not there to argue a point....I don't work for that Catholic publications or any political parties.

Another thing was mentioned by this comments yang tak boleh ku publish kan...is my entry about kepala lembu. Had orang yang kata I bangang ni baca apa I tulis dengan open mind nya...I am questioning, kenapalah lembu itu tidak di respect walaupun hanya dah tinggal kepala? Kenapalah perbuatan ittew dilakukan pada hari Jemahat dah bulan posa? And kenapalah lembu pulak yang nak digunakan untuk berpiket againts another temple? Bukankan orang yang punya kuil itu juga menjadika lembu itu sebagai tuhan nya? Why can't we understand that?

Remember IF, that was said about me....maka biarlah.Orang nak panggil kita bangang ke, biarlah. Orang tu pun terkenal juga dengan bahasa kasarnya.Bangang kira okay lah..bukan anjing..bukan unta baghdad. Saya pun bukannya pandai. Bangang maybe fits some bills. Those were only words. And words wouldn't hurt you.Maybe some people political ideology clouded their way of thinking...but it is stil their opinion.But IF it is NOT, then alhamdulillah lah kan..Kiah?

But I do appreciate those concerned words. They are very soothing.It is just I don't care that much. Julie Sudiro kata if I have nothing nice to say..and don't say anything. This blog does not exist to fit the nice writings descriptions. It is harsh and vulgar as it can be.

And I am proud that I am Muslim. And I am raised by non-judgemental, non anti -semitic and very respectful of others be it different faith and colour parents. I am not saying that your's arent. Read and think carefully.

Update

Sometimes.....what we need to know and to remember is that,

- People who gossiped with you, gossiped about you too. Some people tend to gossip just to find out more about you, things that they are too spineless to ask directly or thing that they think they know about you but not ascertained. So, what do you actually want to know about me?

- People have rights. Right to choose, right to think and right to many,many things that is within their rights. You may not be happy, you may not like it.But what can you do about it? Nothing.Get on lah....

- It is not OK to assume that people are OK about anything and everything.Sometime, people just don't like the look of you, disgusted with your guts or just hate any sounds that came from your mouth. Never excuse your 'difference' with stupid statement...I am what I am, ohh...I am me and this is me..love it or lump it. Certainly not in the first five minutes. You hardly anybody.So just be yourself.Stop acting so delusional to the point of nauseating. Yickkkkesss!!!!

- Stop taking advantage.Your likeability factor will start to wear off when the other unpleasant bit of you start to show and become more obvious by day.

Follow this and it will saves you from forthcoming humiliation.Your true colour will soon get found out and you'll be very sad.

******Sudah-sudah lah nak speku ye.******

MENENTANG......PERANGAI JAHILLIYAH ORANG ORANG BANGANG

In Facebook....orang hantar invitation to join MENENTANG PENGGUNAAN NAMA ALLAH OLEH GOLONGAN BUKAN ISLAM, orang kita pun...dengan semangat berkobar nya pun join.....

I must have at least 20 friends who joined this group...those that I knew for a fact, masa SRP chooses ART over Pengajian Agama Islam, masa mengaji sesama..Iqraq Bissmirabb...pun tak hafal-hafal and taleh naik Quran, and some....bila terperanjat ke or marah-marah would rather say..Jesus Christ than Ohh...pocot Mak kau babi (isk..aku lah ni)

I respected people strong view over what they think what is theirs and what is others.But I think, Malaysian always forget that they live in Malaysia, alongside Indians, Chinese and other races.Malays always forget that they infact do not originally owned Malaysia.

I looked up for this group and saw some familar names...Mukhriz Mahathir, Ridhuan Tee, to name a few. How hyprocritical of them.

I'm sure we will not condemn or reprimand our non-muslim friends when they say...can you pray to your ALLAH so that I pass my driving test?

I have a colleague who always mock me..bila I marah tahap gaban dengan patient I...this girl will echo..ya allah...everytime I said the same.

I do not think that Catholic publication intend to use 'ALLAH' in any deragatory shape or form.So why are we so insecure?

Islam is a faith and a way of life, like our own identity. Kita beridentity melayu...so kalau orang bukan melayu nak pakai kain pelikat and baju melayu does not make us any lesser Melayu nor does being disrespect by the non malays.

Orang Cina and tak cina makan babi....also followed by melayu and Islam ada yang dengan selambanya makan babi gak...and the point I'm making is..Chinese don't own the Babi, so lantak lah sesapa nak makan pun.

It is good to know that Muslim is taking their faith and religions seriously, walaupun cara nak menunjuk tu tak berapa cerdik sangat.But whilst the Malay/Muslims think that it is cool to display/express their fanatical view....crime like bapak,abang,datuk rogol sedara pompuan masing-masing bertambah ramai...makan rasuah, maksiat etc,etc pun bertambah banyak.

Sesiapa yang masa lapang nya pi bakaq, baling batu kat churches, kuils etc,etc..semoga Allah bukaklah kepala hotak mu yang sempit ittew.

Wassalam.....

Makji Esah
(A Muslim....as a Muslim can be lorrrrr)

Update

Sekarang ni dah kompem malas hapdate blog. Bila inga-ingat balik takdelah pulak buat resolution nak rajin update blog kan Kiah?

Unlike Kiah, I do not have an excuse. Study pun tidak...anak pun takde. Kerja I sekarang ni..makan,makan dan makan. Maka itu adalah tanda-tanda supaya saya segera ke Tesco yang berdekatan untuk menyediakan stock ALWAYS berkepak yang berpeket hijau.Seriously..I can eat for England. Punah ranah hasrat ku nak pakai kebaya nyonya dihari kenduri kahwin nanti. Maka..mau tak mau..terpaksalah I pakai kebaya amma. Ish..

2,3 menjak ni musim jumpa kengkawan lama dalam pesbuk. Ada yang macam jahanam mulutnya..so sipompuan tu menunggu masa aje nak kena remove.Tapi dah lama gak dia tak meghoyan..until 2 hari lepas. Adalah my fren ni wishing me heppi besday...semoga panjang umur..murah rezeki katanya..dan..semoga cepat bertemu jodoh (what made you think I have passed my sell by date..or takde orang nak huh?) Tapi..with open mind..I harap yang meng wish tu pun ikhlas lah nak mendoakan I cepat dapat jodoh (yakni bermadu dengan Zara Salim Davidson) so with I humbly replied...mekasih...I ni takde orang nak. That is my safest answer...ye lah bila orang tanya..ko ni bila lagi...maka takkan lah nak kata kita ni ada 72 follower kan? So...untuk tidak menampakkan kita ni normal...(apparently) jawab aje lah..tu lah...belum ada yang masuk meminang...or anything sewaktu dengannya.

Tetiba..pompuan jahanam ni pi comment....alah..kau tu memilih..mana ada standard nya orang Malaysia. Tak ke memang harus dibakar bijik mata nya tu?

But I pun diam saja...orang gila,meghoyan camtu kenkadang ni baik tak dilayan aje. Bukannya kita ni tak pandai nak menjawab kan? Tapi kalau gaduh dgn orang gila...tak pepasal, kita pun nampak cam gila jua. (Dengar tu..Cik Undang Ghombau)

Since the new year juga...mana kengkawan I yang ada anak..memasing pakat buat status update pasal anak memasing masuk sekolah. Nak muntah ijau pun ada okay? Don't get me wrong..I ni idoklah jeles...and I think I can understand how excited a parent can get bila anaknya first time masuk sekolah..siap ambik gambar bagai. Ada tu pulak siap ikut anak pergi sekolah...ambik cuti...and setiap minit (no thanks to kecanggihan mobile updates ni) setiap masa pulak nak hupdate status pasal anak nya.

Some is very excited....and status update nya menunjukkan betapa bangganya sang ayah..sang emak melepaskan anak sulung masuk darjah satu (ek eleh..what's the big deal?)

Ada pulak yang semi mengada...(ni kawan I yang mengganti nama diri Mummy Mama ni) yang status update nya berbunyi...Owh..hari ni hari pertama anakku Watimang Landok masuk sekolah...Mummy baru hantar sampai kelas..owh..Mummy is missing Watimang Landok already...(ke aku yang dah dehydrate badan sebab banyak benau muntah ni?)

Ada yang...to me really tak masuk akal...dan menampak tokoh ke control freak an mak nya..(ciri-ciri yang ada pada Kiah) yang update nya macam ni...Hari ni..hari pertama Wawa (bukan nama sebenar..pinjam nama anak orang) masuk sekolah. Semoga Wawa tidak tersalah memilih kawan..be wise my child..Mama can't always be with you. And yes..anak kau baru masuk darjah satu..bukannya masuk ITM Sura Gate dinungggg!!!!!!

Kesimpulannya...Facebook status update semenjak budak Malaysia msuk sekolah ni adalah bagus untuk saya baca jika saya bercita-cita nak jadik supermodel size 8. Kompem muntah sokmo. However..I wish to apologise if some mother do find this entry offensive.Can't help it..kak. Sorry nah?

2,3 menjak ni juga..since I dah terjumpa balik dgn ex-ex school friends...dalam hati, I dok tanya jugak..mana sorang minah ni yang sekelas dgn I. Mind you, I hanya berkawan rapat dengan sorang dua budak aje, lain lenlain tu main senyum-senyum and pinjam buku saja. So I wonder what happen to this particular girl.Taktau tetiba je teringat kat dia.

And today...in my inbox message..from another friend, announcing her demise yesterday succumbing to brain cancer. I am shocked. Dah 2nd time dah..orang yang I lama tak dengar khabar..tiba-tiba teringat..tau tau baru meninggal.

If I may..I would like to ask you who is reading this...to offer your Al-Fatihah my friend Zura. She is obviously in a better place and I hope the loved ones she left behind is at peace at this very difficult time.

2010

Seperti biasa..aku kan malas nak hapdate?

For the last 2 years..hidup ni takde nya nak ber resolution. I really don't see the point of marking the change of the year by making promises yang entah ye atau tidaknya akan dibuat.

But what I do do is, to reflect on life...looking back the years that passed. Bagus ke..or nak kena buat post mortem bagi baik sikit or to change the strategy completely.

Regret was many. Orang kata life is too short to have regrets. How wrong is that (for me) your time is short lah we tend to dwell on regrets..how such a short time in life kesalahan itu tak sepatutnya berlaku.Especially incident-incident bangang e.g. pergaduhan dalam pesbuk, pergaduhan dalam blog. That kind of regret.

So because of that...the strategy is to be extra choosy and extra guarded. I welcome new friends...ye lah I ni kan wanita melayu terakhir yang bongkak.My worries is that..by freely accepting friendship and knowing me and my not so subtle manner, I tend to lose them quite quickly too.

But there's a good lesson learnt. Seramai-ramai orang yang sakit mental and emosi nya...ada jugak yang mengumpul kawan untuk dibuat tudung saji menutup kelemahan diri. The obvious weakness is that tak pandai nak berkawan...pahtu bila dah rasa confident dah ramai kawan, mulalah confident tu digunakan dengan cara yang tak betul.

I nak cakap pasal orang, I pun ada sel dalam badan yang tak betul jugak.I hope I'll be better.

Kepada kawan-kawan yang baru yang memang kompem akan disimpan sampai mati....marilah kita ber pesta tak hengat nya...berguling-gulingan di Richmond Park sambil menyanyi lagu Watimang Landok.

Happy New Year.

Update

Knowing how slow I work, this entry is most likely to be published after NY's day. Much to Kiah annoyance lah...pasal hapdate tak ikut date. But which one do you actually prefer, Kiah? Ada hapdate ke, tiada hapdate? See?

MB's is already out ber NY party. I just got in from work. I have been working for the last 27 hours non-stop.Biasalah...bila full moon, maka working hours pun menjadi full lah jua. It is just unfortunate that I don't have a normal hours of work. That's what happen when you work with people. Sebagaimana air bah...dan pantai pun berubah. Bukannnya reti Xmas ke, NY day ke..the only thing that made it bearable ialah double pay nya. So the whole day work paid for that canggih DSLR camera...(yang aku masih belum reti nak guna...camno tu?)

I don't really know what to make of 2009. I suppose it is good. Sama aje lah..I like to think. I made friends...I removed friends.I got caught up dalam perperangan yang tak membawa makna...I upset people through what I wrote...(so what...read at your own risk lah kan?) Work wise berjuta kali I cakap kat diri sendiri that I had enough of trying to make sense of a nonsense...pun I masih kat sini, trying to understand the beauty of god special creation.

I just read the news about anak Chef Wan yang akan kahwin besok. The tajuk is so gempak...majlis 'tercemar' dek takde MC. What lah? Takkan lah takde MC majlis terus tercemar kot? Lainlah macam Eastenders (the latest episode) orang dah susah payah organise kenduri kahwin, tup tup pengantin lelaki pi cakap kat mak dia yang dia tu Cik Gayah and selama beberapa bulan kebelakangan ni dah ada affair dengan another man, besides dating this girl. Tu lah baru betul tercemar nya, kan? Setakat takde MC majlis berinai (wehhh...since when pulak berinai ada majlis-majlis ni?) apalah sangat?

I'm sure every girl in the world wouldn't want Chef Wan as a father, especially time-time nak kahwin ni...we sure can imagine how desperately mental he can be, wanting to be overly perfectionist, of course at his daughter's expense, if I may say. Dua majlis berinai...nikah sinim sanding sana...sanding nombor 2,3,4,5 kat sini sinun. Weh...bila lah masa nak enjoy kan? Tu belum masuk duit yang dah habis tu. Some may say..alaaa...biarlah, duit bapak dia berlambak. But berbaloi kah nak menunjuk?

Of course he is proud. He got what he wants. She listened to him (he must have made life hell for her with all the guilt trip) Dulu dia tak suka Animosen tu...he made it very public, sampaikan orang kat London pun tahu. I read about him doing all this (the wedding preparation) as a gesture of a good citizen, to promote Malaysian Culture to the in laws. I'm sure the Irish lot will appreciate the barrels of Guinness than his Moroccan theme kenduri.

But all the best to the couple...with bapak and bapak in law like him.

Then this thing about celebrity yang pergi clubbing, nasib malang that place pulak kena raid and he had to provide his urine sample. So this suratkhabar punya columnist (alah..those yang goes with such pseudonym Mak Intan, or Benang Emas etc etc...ke hapa nama nya) start lah kondem...ni lah dia celebrity dah rasa terlampau glamour, suka benar berembun kat tempat-tempat camtu. I tak tau since when pulak journalist dah bertukar menjadi moral-police. Bagi pendapat tu okay lah...but bukannya orang tu buat party bogel Hugh Hefner ke apa. So adik-adik mana yang bercita-cita nak jadik celebrity, do think hard. Sebagai artis, adik-adik hanya musti pergi kenduri cukur jambul baca marhaban aje tawww? Jangan pergi clubbing...nanti reporter tulis dalam suratkhabar.

Cerita artist yang gajah depan mata pun masih tak nak mengaku pun ramai jugak..kan? Ada yang berchenta..tapi tak ngaku..tup-tup kena tangkap basah. Bila dah kena tangkap basah, masa bini mintak cerai, pandai pulak buat-buat adegan padayappa keluaq ayaq mata depan Tok Kadi nah? Pastu..dah le bergambar mesra-mesra, statement masih lagi tak ngaku yg dia dah dok bercanda dipasiran pantai. Baru nak kenal hati budi lah kononnnn...eish..ngaku lah aje kan? Ada tu pulak...tak ngaku dah kawin...saya tak hensem untuk dia lah...cerita nikah tak benar lah..tup tup..dah kawin.Cakap aje lah..ye, saya nak kawin dgn pompuan muda lagi bergetahhh...so, ada masalah ke?

Kesimpulannya, year in year out...perangai kita tetap sama. I can say that I nak berenti mempropaganda benda-benda takde moral dalam blog ni...tapi, boleh menjadi ke resolution nak kembali kejalan benar ni?

I nak berenti tulis benda yang mengecikkan hati orang..tapi, what will guarantee the fact that orang memang cepat kecik ati anyway? I selalu cakap..kalau kita terasa, makna nya betul lah apa yang dikata orang, so apalah nak kecik ati nya pun?

Semalam ada sorang patient I cakap...you're in the wrong job. You can't even do this properly. And this guy even made his feelings known to the other officers as well. I pun cakap dengan dia...well, I appreciate that. Why don't you show me how to do it? Terus dia terkebil-kebil. I pun sambung balik, I take it that you're not sure how to. So, why don't you just let me get on.

So kepada yang kecik ati...teruskan lah berkecik ati. Kepada yang berpura-pura innocent tapi telah berjaya menjadi unggun api...pandai-pandai lah sedar diri dan mengaku kesilapan nah?

Wishing you all a great year ahead.

Entry Hati Panas

Facebook has begin to annoy me more today....with my friend starting to meghoyan dalam inbox. Her attitude in the mailbox thread has now subsequently making friends reunited (via Facebook) a bad idea.

Dah le sessi berjumpa kawan lama ni tak berapa seronok, nak pulak dicampur dengan anxiety-anxiety tak perlu. But let me tell you this, never be envious of MRSM punya alumni laa...nak nak batch I. Apart from large population yang dah ada PHD, small population yang tengah buat PHD (jgn nak jobo lah hah..you pun belum pass lagi..BTW, I'm not talking about you ye..Cik Ayam Belanda oiii) apalah sangat glamour nya Friends Reunited Versi MRSM ni?

I lebih bangga bersekolah kat Convent Somban lagi kalau nak dibandingkan dengan sekolah yang satu lagi tu.

This lady...kawan I lah ni...(meghoyan lah lagi harus kau ku remove dengan senang hati nya) masa sekolah dulu, nak kata rapat sangat tu tak ada lah...but her katil and my katil kira macam berjiran and dia ni rajin baca buku atas katilnya that everytime I or orang lain nak salin baju, we have to ask her to look away.I tell you, I ni mega pemalu....nak strutting berkain dalam dengan bra dalam dorm pun takut-takut even mandi pun tak pernah mandi ramai-ramai okeh? My skill mengikat kain kemban adalah sangat lemah and kalau tak kena gaya...harus melambak kain tu jatuh. I must say that...although I ni pompuan melayu terakhir...but I don't do kain batik or any kain yang sewaktu dengannya. There's goes ciri-ciri bini mithali kan, Desert Rose? Ye lah..buatnya ada immediate request dari laki kan ke senang kalau berkain batik?

So balik kembali kepada this lady yang minah study ni. She likes to label herself a Minah Rock (tapi dalam walkman ada lagu Kau Kunci Chenta ku...errk?) and her T-Shirt sure ada gambar gitar-gitar puaka yang runcing-runcing tu. She told us off when we fooled around, katanya kami-kami yang main pukul-pukul dengan towel good morning ni adalah immature sungguh.Tapi bila kitorang nak escape ikut jalan longkang, pandai pulak dia pesan beli nasik lemak kan?

Because dia dah bersusah payah melabel dirinya sebagai Minah Rock, she made others think that she is into hard stuff like Anchor Beer and drugs. Siapalah dia punya supplier aku pun tatau...but MRSM tahun 1990, takde yang innocent, okay? Here's the thing...kalau orang tu dok kompang dia tu into this ke, into that ke...it is very likely yang dia tu hanya kelabu asap aje.

Because of that, she is so unpopular among kami-kami yang kekanak riang ni. But dia senyap-senyap selalu mintak tolong I buat ringkasan karangan dia. And her vulnerability terserlah. Idok le dia brutal sangat.

After SPM, we went separate ways. I don't think she went to any Uni. But our path crossed when I returned home from studies. Masa ni dia dah jadi PA. Her opis and the bank I buat practical sebelah menyebelah and we regularly see each other. Masa ni dia dah jadik feminin gila (she has been but status Minah Rock buatan sendiri nya tu telah mengaburi sifat-sifat keibuan itu)

So that was many,many moons ago.

So now...in her FB profile, she is back at calling herself Minah Rock, Brutal and what have you. She got in touch with us (community yang telah sedia ada FB) and is excited about the prospect of meeting us back. When she learned about the purpose of my short visit this coming month, terus dia dengan tak malu (and takde sifat keibuan, ke kakakan etc,etc) terus buat announcement yang I kena jemput dia datang kenduri. Leh....

Now that she found out that my other mate is coming, terus lagi dia meghoyan and terus announce, count me out of the reunion. Katanya, I tak invite dia but invite sorang budak lagi ni. Pastu dia buatlah statement yang I dah lupa kat kawan (for not inviting them..I suppose?) and this poor mate of mine yang dapat jemputan had to explained herself and her invitation. Tak ke macam sial tu?

I nak aje sound dia...but mengenangkan perbuatannya itu adalah sangat bodoh (let's see...kalau org dah tak respond, buat apa kau nak menghoyan lagi kan? Didn't you get it?) I buat diam aje. I continue talking to my other friends and blanked her stupid ranting completely.

Her behaviour somehow affected me...so dalam keadaan masih tak puas hati...I confide lah kat my fren ni...I tanya lah..I ni kurang ajar ke sebab tak jemput orang datang umah my parents? Or dia tu yang perangai cam puaka meghoyan tak pasal depan orang?

I don't think I am, kan? Kiah...kita boleh ke jemput orang datang bukan kenduri kawin kita? I tanya budak Rembau yang pandai tu..dia kata hanya tuan rumah or organiser aje boleh extend the invite, so I tak salah lah kan?

Cissss.....(BTW, Minah Rock ni berasal dari Rembau. There you go..Paroi 3..Rembau 0...)

Kenapa Ku Takde Laki

Never have I thought that I will see the day where Kiah will blatantly ask....kenapa I takde laki? Kiah, like my any other cool friends, has transformed into Makcik and alike makcik bibir juih kat Kampung Paroi tu, year in year out forever awarded such liberty to shoot that question.

I have to assume Kiah, just like any other happily married (phuek, phuek) women nak le tahu kenapa I ni yang rupa dah ada, gheta makan tak abis macam I ni..masih gak nak bersolo-solo an...(weh..siapa kata aku solo ye?)


Well....what can I say? Nak kata serik...apa yang serik nya? Hati kuciwa dengan laki tu memang ada. Sebagai wanita melayu terakhir..cita-cita tu memanglah nak kawin dengan si chenta hati tapi kalau si chenta hati pun treated us like Argos catalogue, pilih mana yang dia berkenan pastu lupa dengan janji-janji Muniandy dia kat kita, what chance do we have in hoping for happy ending?


Sheila Majid's song says it all....usah engkau memaksakan keatas ku tiap pilihan...etc..etc. I don't know what a life with a man is like. Ni yang bangsa dopopat jam tengok muka dia..dengar cakap dia..cukup bulan jumpa sedara mara dia. When you married..you are obliged to dengar cakap laki. Knowing me...jangan kata cakap laki, cakap diri sendiri pun I takmau dengar. Other women often say...your laki will be your pelindung. Hmm....I ni takut ular..takut anjing...and most jantan yang I kenal pun..sama gak penakut nya.


What do we actually hope to achieve, Kiah oiii? Complete marital status ke or nak bagi makcik-makcik mulut puaka kat Kampung Bongek tu syaddapppp once and for all?


My now-not-so-jobo cousin used to tell me yang dia nak kawin cepat pasalnya dia nak beranak dengan cepatnya. Her intention that time is merely to menunjuk-nunjuk kat aku ni yang dia tu dah dipinang dek anak buah Undang. So..she is well on her way to a complete adulthood....and to her, I am remained tak laku lah kononnya. Well.....kesudahnya, anakbuah undang tu main konda-kondi belakang dia and they putus tunang. She then bertemu jodoh dengan laki dia yang sekarang..and the campaign of kawin cepat beranak cepat pun start lah balik. In her kenduri kahwin (as any other my close relatives kenduri kahwin) I was made known to the fellow attendees yang I ni masih solo. So that information is a great ammunitions for the makcik-makcik pembasuh kawah and pemotong bawang bergossip sakan. God helped them, nasib baik lah makcik-makcik ni is a kenduri kahwin sukarelawan,kalaulah mika-mika tu makan gaji...harus ku pecat masa tu jugak (ehk..bilalah aku jadi majikan ni?)


See, I ni dah puas kena tohmah. Tohmah simpan kekasih gelap lah...kekasih tak berapa gelap lah...ish! But the tohmah never came directly to me but one time, adik I bertumbuk dengan one of our relative and from what I heard, si budak tu buat cerita pasal I. So si adik I yang boleh tahan lah panas barannya ni (he was only 12...) pi tumbuk budak tu sampai patah gigi nya. Dah le datang rombongan pi kutuk my mother yang kiranya orang luar ni. Tak pandai jaga anak kononnya...


Berbalik kepada tujuan berlaki tu sebab nak beranak...ye lah, ada tukang, ado lah anak eh kan? Tu kalau nasib you baik lah dapat anak dua tiga butir, buatnya 2,2 pun mandul? Tak ke laki kau yang kau cingtahi tu lajuuuuu je nak kawin lain nak buat anak alasannya? Tu kalau jantan, dapat lah buat alasan cam tu kan? Kalau kau pompuan pulak dapat laki yang bajanya baja taik ayam yang takde makna tu (harapkan busuk aje) boleh kau buat statement nak cari laki lain? POMMM!!!! Kau dikutuk 8 keturunan. My cousin yang kompang kata kat I yang I ni akan rugi pasal tak kawin and tak dapat beranak cepat tu....kesudahnya after 10 tahun baru dapat beranak sorang...hah kau. Umur Dah baya I, anak baru boleh bercakap. Tu lah dia berlagak tak bertempat!


Kiah said...a husband satisfy the wife gratification...mental and sexual. Well, I supposed since you pun dah berlaki...gunakanlah gundak mu (as oppose to gundik) ittew. It is good to share interest...in bed. Good know that you and your husband have that one thing in common...but what I don't understand, bagi, bagi jugak...pahtu yang kutuk laki/tipu bini tak habis-habis tu apa makna nya? I once questioned..them jantan yang nak bercerai dengan bini..kononnya tak chenta, but chenta tak chenta pun..bini mengandung jua. One may say, itu kewajipannya. Yeah...but throwing yourself in bed kan ke memerlukan perasaan suka sama suka?


I just come out from an 8 year relationship that is akin to marriage. Do I like it? At times, yes. Ada orang nak ajak berborak...nak tengok TV sesama...tukang belikan barang bila I tak sempat gi kedai. But we both are such a headstrong people that neither will and like to back down.Entering a marriage means one should be ready to lods of changes...in opinion, in lifestyles, in interests and banyak lagi benda.

I have hope. But I cannot guarantee that I will be this nice, obidient wife yang akan mencium telapak kaki lakinya. I cannot be the type yang menjeruk jiwa raga...sosek-sosek kat Facebook pi kata laki tak memahami etc,etc. I am likely to tell him how it is and menunjuk perasaan bila perlu.


I like to go places and meeting people when I feel like it and not when I have to or obliged to. The ideal man would be yang anak yatim piatu..but, what is the percentage of the availabilities?


The job I am in now, exposed me to loads of men with inherited problems...some self-inflicted. Kesimpulannnya..jejaka yang mempunyai kimia yang tidak seimbang adalah lebih banyak dari pompuan-pompuan meghoyan lepas beranak.But that is not my excuse.


Jawapan kepada soalan whether or not I ni tahan....umur dah macam ni, tahan lah.If I am asked this question 10-12 years ago pun jawapannya ialah tahan jugak. I'm not sure if once kita dah kahwin..then life will be harder without a partner. If so, that might justify the question of ketahanan.


I am alone...all the time, so...kalau ada, adalah. Kalau takde...tak ada lah. Kan ke hati ini telah dilukai, Kiah oii?

Boxing Day in Oxford Street

Wehhh uols...kerana ke stress an dengan kengkawan baru terbit dari Facebook tu, dengan tak semena-mena nya, I buat plan nak pergi shopping Boxing Day semalam...boleh Kiah? (Masih kecik ati ke dengan aku? Rugi...tak merasalah kau makan mince pie, Prawn Cocktails Walkers Crisps nanti pompuan oiii) --------------->Facebook bad, or people in Facebook bad? Cam cilaka kat atas tu? Dianya yang sah-sah makan babi, kita lak dipanggil nya babi.Lanciawwww tul!

Semenjak I menjejak kan kaki tangan kat tanah UK tahun 1991 ni...adalah 2 ke 3 kali aje I pergi shopping hari boxing day ni. I ni bukan apa uols, bak kata orang Paroi Jaya, tak koso den nak bejimpit-jimpit...menyosak an nyawo yo. I rela menjadi drebar hantar orang pergi shopping dari disuruh shopping.Walaupun iklan-iklan kat TV yang sungguh menggiurkan suruh orang pergi perabis duit kat Oxford Street dan area-area yang sewaktu dengannya, I lebih rela makan koci kat rumah, boleh?

Tapi semalam...tah hapa mimpinya, I sanggup bangun pepagi buta, naik bas lompat-lompat sampai Oxford Street nun. Tujuannya, nak beli present untuk adik jantan I tu...tapi bila sesampainya I kat situ, I terus taktau nak beli hapa untuk dia...plus, kalau I belikan dia benda yang dia paling suka, maka Amma pulak akan kata...kenapalah kau galakkan adik kau tu. See...my brother tu memang feeling dialah jejaka pembawa kereta yang paling laju dalam Paroi tu. 4 tahun lepas, besday dia...I tanya, ko nak apa? Dia cakap dia nak sport rim. So, I ingat ni macam inncocent lah..jantan suka mekap-mekap kereta. So sebagai kakak yang mithali...I bayarkan benda yang dia nak tu. 2 minggu lepas tu, my auntie yang mulut puaka tu datang London, pi kompang kat I....kau ni goma nyusah kan ati omak kau. I pun..ehk..apo lak? Lopeh adik kau dapek sporim yang dio nak ondak an tu (tu dia org Paroi nak skipping sangat kan..SPORRIM kato eh) kemain laie deh...geh cilako dio membawak keto eh. Takut omak kau...(cakap ni sambil menjuih-juih mulut dia) Pulak tu my auntie boleh sambung...dio tu..agak eh..dah berlanggar sok..patah tulang, putuih palo eh..baru lah nak soda tu. (Cesss...mulut dia cibai sungguh kan...ada ke dia mintak adik aku sampai putuih kepala?)

Tup-tup...after 2,3 weeks after dia cakap camtu...my auntie yang kuat masin ni..sampai kena darah tinggi lah dek goma eh makan garam, memang my brother tu xcident. Although, idokle mati ke putus kepala....but enough to made my mom susah hati sampai tak lalu makan lah. So, sebagai tanda protest, I memang tak pernah bagi lagi dia birthday present, melainkan mobile phone saja.

So, there I was at Oxford Street...cadangnya nak beli present, kesudahnya I beli present untuk diri I senirik. Ye...in 2 weeks, I'll be 37 and dari tahun lepas, tengok orang lain ada DSLR camera, I pun nak jugak..walaupun I bukannya gheti nak pakai. But, sebagai pengidap penyakit mental yang semi-serious, the autistic side of the brain kata...go and get the DSLR.Dengan bantuan sang expert...dia tanya, Kak Ji, you nak camera jenis apa? I cakap...ok..tammo brand SOMI or KENON, nak brand yang lain sikit. And si expert lah yang tukang pilih camera tu. Ada yang besar macam mak kucing, macam tak practical pulak kan? So, I pun pilih lah yang murah, memandangkan I ni pun kedekut nak mampus. Si expert kata, memang brand I yang baru beli ni brand yang bukan jenis lap kaki macam KENON dengan SOMI tu. Kesimpulannya..camera orang Doha dgn orang Hull..adalah confirmed termasuk dalam catergory lap kaki tahap 91. Teksiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Selepas dah masuk tengahari....orang pun semakin ramai kat Oxford Street. Ramainya orang melayu (termasuk lah I) yang membawak anak-bini masing-masing shopping. Ada jugak film director Bollywood nak buat shooting depan kedai NEXT tengah-tengah orang bersesak-sesak tu. Weiii bodoh! Ni sure nak tunjuk kat orang kampung nya yang dia dah sampai Oxford St...siap ambil footage video bagai. Dahle video camera dia sama besar dengan dia...sure dia beli tahun 1980 kan?

But all and all, I am quite pleased. Disebabkan takde orang nak belikan I birthday present, maka..I kenalah beli birthday present I sendiri. So sekarang...semua yang I nak dah dapat. Laki je takde. Soal nya..I nak ke berlaki?

(OLD) Friends (Must NOT) Reunited

Xmas is over for some...but baru semalam, we get to celebrate the proper one dalam rumah baru I.(Wehh..lu pehal Makji, celebrate, celebrate Xmas?) So, memandangkan tahun lepas I telah disindir dengan jayanya oleh beberapa anonymous-anonymous comments sebab menyambut Xmas, all I can say is that..raya cina, Deepavali dan hari Natal pun saya sambut jua masa duduk di Malaysia. Saya kan duduk dalam kandang ayam belanda...so, takkan lah saya nak menerapkan nilai Taliban pulak kan?

Kita ni gemar benar memberi peluang supaya kepala hotak kita dikontrol oleh orang. Ingat lagi...dulu masa puak-puak Bosnia kena serang dek tah sesapa (or is it the Serbians?) kita pun mulalah nak jadi champion matriarch, hangkut segala budak2 Bosnia bawak masuk Malaysia and mengutuk Serbia sehabis-habisnya. Tapi ada orang Malaysia yang susah..kais pagi makan pagi (or..ada jugak kan orang Msia stil kais pagi makan pagi kat Central London?) tak rajin pulak kita nak tolong? From what I heard, bebudak Bosnia yang kita tolong tu cam lahanat jugak lah perangai diorang..prompting such comments (obviously dari mulutku yang puaka ni) ohh..you deserved what's coming your way..

Then came the obsession with hating the Israelis. Ada yang sampai tak nak join pesbuk pun. Lehh...tapi Starbucks boleh lak masuk hari-hari kan? Susah betul para anti semitic tak tentu pasal ni.Nak kata Datuk nenek dia ex-Auswitcz ke lain lah kan? Glamour kot jadi anti-yahudi ni. Macam separuh orang putih lah...dah tak suka OBL, habis other Muslims pun kena. Kalau you nak anti puak Zionist tu, tak payahlah nak benci-benci orang Yahudi lain lak kan? Apa lah you...nak rebel...tapi tak tau punca.

Dua 3 hari ni hati ku macam panas semacam aje (walaupun cuaca amatlah sejuk nya) Ada kata-kata yang bangang dalam pesbuk yang dikeluarkan oleh kawan-kawan yang..maybe semenjak umur dah banyak pun dah jadi bangang juga.Tapi sesedapnya mulut I nak panggil orang bangang ni, pun I terpikir juga...orang yang bangang ke aku yang jahat/sombong/bongkak/lupadiri etc, etc?

Couple of weeks ago..me and my new found schoolfriends membuat perjumpaan. They said...eii Makji..you choose the place lah. Kononnya I ni kan UK veteran (kepala hotak kau) so I must know nice places. They must have a goldfish memory me thinks. I was never the outgoing one.So, although I ni dah dok lama kat sini...kalau nak cari places of interest pun I kena google dulu.3 of my friends ni is a PHD students now in the UK. (So..ingat ye Cik Adik...bukan awak sorang aje. So Kalau I kutuk budak PHD, it is likely to be this 3) In total there's 5 of them. 2 lagi kat up north nun. 2 in Reading and one kat London aje. Budak 3 orang ni masa sekolah memanglah set-set yang pandai dan famous. Apalah sangat nak dibanding dengan aku ni Kiah? But rezeki orang lain-lain. While the 3 (and another 2) dah memilih jalan hidup yang lurus, I pulak memilih jalan ke Tanjung Moktan. The first impression is always...I have no idea you're into this! Sakit betul hari I mendengar nya.

Mind you..this is not a paranoid me talking..but had I am with another me, I surely asked..when you say 'into THIS' what do you mean exactly? But I diam saja.Senyum-senyum. Nak tunjuk pandai...kita pulak tak pandai.

I just hope I never see this 3 again...and I am very sure, I am now their subject of kata-mengata, as they are to me now.

Ada pulak sorang kawan...nak buat reunion bila I balik KL nanti. Dah lah set-set ni sekarang nak panggil diri memasing tu Mummy Mama, yang sorang tu pulak dok mengata laki and stress dok kat umah tak abis-abis. I joined in their jokes..and what I get was 'ei..mulut Minah London ni boleh tahan'. I'm not sure what to make of that...aku ke bercakap kasar..or they have all now transform into Makcik-makcik perasan bagus?

Ada yang sorang ni pulak...pi kompang-kompang ala-ala merengek mintak dijemput datang kenduri.The funny thing is, dia idok le tanya direct dengan I..but spread it on her wall...dengan kata-kata mega puaka..eh..apasal dia (aku lah ni) tak nak jemput kita datang rumah dia eh?

Here I am thinking....boleh ke kita jemput orang datang rumah yang bukan kita punya? And..tak ke kau rasa yang kalau orang tak jemput tu, makna nya memang dia tak nak tengok muka kau lah kan? So, buat apa tetanya lagi?

See...I am never a big fan of friends reunited. Some of us (aku) has grown into some sort of kononnya supra-national. We hardly the 16-17 year old that we was...where we don't tolerate stupidity and think that we are the world greatest. This girl was once quite nasty to me...and when I was 16-17, when I don't really know how to stand up for myself (ke malas nak gaduh) and now..how on earth she can came up with comments like..owh..lamanya tak jumpa..teringat time-time masa kita tengah having fun kat sekolah dulu kan? Nak aje I tanya, bilanya? Kau tak ingat ke yang kau tell me off kat bilik prep tu?

I want to write more...but I nak berak pulak...

Kinabatangan and Kelantan

It made it to the headlines that Pakcik Kinabatangan ni tengah bergerek dengan Zizie Ezette. Adakah aku kenal dengan Zizie Ezette ni, Kiah? nama macam pernah dengar...I think was she the one yang masa tu berchenta tak hengat dengan penyanyi hensem Cassie Seribu Impian tu?


On the opposite, that Kinabatangan guy, made famous by being a neanderthal in parliment. I wonder what on earth that made this sort of man very appealing to a woman. Dah le tak hensem. Kaya pun dek jadi politician..kalau tak meniaga getah sekerap lah hang, kan?

For a politician yang kununnya berkhidmat untuk rakyat ni, pakcik ni ada masa pulak pi usyar si aktress and to keep up with her, did some modernisation on himself i.e. kaler rambut bagai. I bet you on top of that Pakcik sure lah memakan macam-macam jamu and menghapal all that ayat pemanis muka and penguat jentera (memandai lah I pun...)

Of course both will not comment openly about their relationship. Pakcik tu kata..dia tak cukup hensem for her..and she in return..being kononnya dignified in passing the ball back in his court..that such comments should come from the man. I applaud her sensitivity around sidianya yang dah berbini but weh, Zizie...kalau ia pun chenta tak mengenal usia, reta benda and marital status, surely you pun lawa dari I and Kiah...and apalah salahnya kejelitaan you tu digunakan untuk memancing para-para bujangan yang berharta?

But if they said so, its JODOH..jodoh lah kan...nak buat cemana? (Psssttt...Hello Raja Nazrin...) but I'm sure Zizie can do better than that...carilah yang hensem sikit.

*******************************************************************

Well, the luck must have been in TT side...dah lah dia berjaya menyuruh bininya kembali taat (ye lah...) the court also allow him to recoup back the money he gifted her. Tetiba pulak bila orang tu dah melawan..terus jadi hutang ye? So the Kelantan Royal household encourage the practise of buruk siku lah gaya nya. Dah kasi tu..kasi aje lah...I'm sure there's plenty more from that money came from. I suppose he has the rights...so good for him. Kalau dah kawin bertahun and had he be the one yang reject dia I'm sure all the hutang will not be quoted.

More so...bukan duit kau pun TT oiii. Alangkah sakitnya hati kita when shown pictures and articles of the rich and famous expecially all royal household. You would think that they are so rich from their allowance so pepandailah ambik health insurance ke hospital plan ke, and takpayahlah nak tunggu kerajaan negeri bayar. Why wait for the government to pay? Majority of the taxpayer are poorer than the Kerabat diraja. The Royals can buy almost anything...bagi present juta-juta...kereta hilang pun sure tak nangis punya.Kita ni duit £20 tercicir ke, salah letak ke sure sakit hati berminggu-minggu.

Now ni, TT dah nak melawan pulak the Tengku Mahkota. Perlu ke? Kau tu bukannya anak sulung pun. I wonder if adalah Raja yang dapat anak kembar, sure berebut nak naik takhta kan? I wonder why some people yang hidup dah senang takde orang kacau...masih lagi nak mencari susah diri. Kalau I jadi you..I dok dendiam dalam istana and bila orang panggil makan kenduri and potong reben..kita pergi aje lah kan?

Lagipun, kan ke bapak masih sakit? Tak baik tawwwww...bergaduh adik beradik.

Kenapa Aku Hanya Kawan ?

Thanks for all the generous comments from you all on my previous posting. Ada beberapa persoalan yang ditanya yang perlu dijawab..tapi tunggulah dulu nah? Ada benda dalam kepala dan dalam hati yang lebih mustahak yang perlu dikeluarkan dengan kadar beberapa segera ni..kalau tak mau sakit jiwa dibuatnya.

I think I have written (if not) about the good and bad about meng 'google' kekasih lama. I tak lah meng 'google' mamat ni...sebab, dianya pun idoklah glamour sangat sampai boleh ter listed dalam google search. So atas bantuan FB search..I pun sesaja lah mulanya ni..pi search nama dia. Tup-tup..keluar gambar..keluar info.

Sebelum I bercerita dengan lebih lanjut tentang mamat ni...(yang I tak pernah cerita dengan orang) perlulah dingat ye Kiah..just because of this, does not make me a slapper (tetiba lak kan?) So in between few 'transgressions', terselitlah mamat ni.

To begin with, he was pursuing my flatmate. I pulak masa ni baru ditinggal siamang githoo and of courselah ala-ala baru kena cerai, I hanya dok menonton dinding kat rumah aje. This guy suka kat my flat mate, tapi my flatmate masa ni sungguhlah bercita-cita tinggi so dia idoklah melayan sangat mamat ni. Layan tu, layan lah jugak but after few dates agaknya minah ni rasa mamat ni macam tak seswai dengannya, terus dia macam tak layan..and berambus pi States buat master dan meninggalkan jantan ni terkapai-kapai githoo. Dalam pada dia terkapai-kapai, kat apartment I jugaklah dia datang melepak mengadu nasibnya.

We became quite a close friend, so bila I nak service kereta I akan mintak tolong dia...or bila I nak fly jauh-jauh, dia jugaklah akan tolong tengok-tengokkan our apartment, any errands that man can handle semuanya ku bagi kat dia.

Because I pun dah kuciwa berchenta masa tu..I idoklah nak nak mencari penyakit mencari jantan lagi, but now and again, I accepted banyaknya invitation nak keluar bersama githoo. But with this guy, we are just strictly friends sampai bertahun-tahun lama nya.

There was times where I macam terasa aje dia syok kat I..tapi dia tak pernah cakap pun. So sebagai pompuan melayu terakhir aku pun idoklah nak menanya. I never told him about siamang...and also all those men I went out with in rebound.

But after a while, hari kecil ni macam terasa lah jugak..lama dah I kawan dengan dia..and dia ni macam baik aje tak pernah mengambik kesempatan..and I can really tell that he cares, so I thought..I should just gave him a chance. So..we went out quite regularly and he took to meet his adik beradik yang ended up being very friendly with me. Tapi masalah nya..dia tak pernah cakap kat I yang dia syok kat I..walaupun ke attentive an dia tu..sungguhlah menusuk kalbu, Kiah oi.

So..macam menunggu buat deghoyan nak gugur...I sungguh berasa serba salah. Macam buah durian..kalau gugur lambat ambik, orang curi. Kalau tunggu bawah pokok jatuh atas kepala, mau mati kan?

In the end, agaknya I dah terasa macam I pulak yang lebih-lebih mengharap macam pungguk, I decided to play it cool and buat-buat tak heran kat dia.

Agaknya dia pun terasa and one day..he called me and ajak I pi makan...and katanya ada hal penting nak cakap.Masa ni lah dia confessed dia sebenarnya lama dah syiok kat I..tapi katanya dia tak berani nak commit sebab dia berpenyakit katanya. I thought...ohh so touching.

But sebagai seorang Capricorn yang maha practical...I pikir, patutkah aku menunggu until you sort out yourself? I pun naive semacam idok la tanya dia sakit apa. Terminal ke...ada harapan ke nak baik. Pikir-punya pikirrr...nah..I have wasted so much time. So I decided to re-distant myself from him. Even dia hantar email tanya khabar tun I akan jawab dengan sarcastic nya..until I berambus datang UK and never heard from him again. Ye lah kan..dah takde jodoh..although, I am quite fond of him.

When I saw his profile...I send him a quick message...'you still look the same'. Hantar satu..balas 4 you.....

Kegatalan tangan in addition to my curiosity..pi lah tengok album orang tu nah? Wah..dah berbini dan empat anaknya.

Tetiba..............patutnya kita gumbiralah kan berjejak kasih dengan kawan lama.Tak!!! I jadi sakit ati pulak. Dulu, alasan dia tak nak dengan I sebab berpenyakit katanya.

Am I that bad and ugly that he had to used that as an excuse to repelled me?!

Satu hari suntuk I bad mood you......

Update

I have a friend yang dah berlaki dan beranak enam. So her Facebook status updates meriah dengan cerita-cerita anak-anak dia. Anak dia buat tu...anak dia buat ni. If only Facebook was invented jaman I kecik-kecik dulu, I'm not sure what my Mum status updates will be about us.

Anak nombor satu...malas pergi sekolah...

Anak nombor dua...cikgu bagi report dok termenung aje dalam class...(aku le ni..Kiah)

Anak nombor 3,4 & 5..hari ni main pengantin-pengantin..habis mekap, kain langsir cadar and lemari dipunggahnya...

This friend of mine yang beranak enam ni message me recently tanya kenapa I tak kawin lagi. Katanya...yang dah lepas tu, lepaslah...jangan diingat lagi. She was referring tu Siamang. She also said..tahan kau idup sorang. I asked her back...what do you mean by tahan ? Of course bila orang cakap macam tu, more than often is a reference to physical pleasure you can only get by being with another person. Tapi sebab I ni pompuan Melayu terakhir lagi bersopan santun...I pi tanya baalik...what do you mean by tahan?

Dia pun jawab...ohh taktahu ke? Tak tahu tak ape lah...

So memang kompem lah dia maksud kan yang itu kan, Kiah? I was hoping that she was asking about...kau tahan ke hidup sorang diri..takde orang nak menemani githoo...but dizaman 18SX, budak tingkatan satu pun dah pandai rogol orang so jangan haraplah pertanyaan tentang whether or not you 'TAHAN' tu ada unsur-unsur innocent ye?

Most of my married friends takde nya cerita yang sedap didengar about laki masing-masing tu. Ada yang dah beranak 2,3 terus jadi distant husband. Ada pulak lakinya lebih rela pi bercerita hal kekurangan bini kat rakan muda pompuan satu opis daripada berterus-terang dengan bini sendiri...ada tu pulak..mengaku dah separate lah..bercerai lah dengan bini semata-mata nak ayat pompuan lain mencari simpati lah kononnya.

This friend in particular...jaman mudanya sungguh ayu, sekolah pun pandai...tapi lepas kawin, anak dah 3, terus tinggalkan kerja nak besarkan anak and niatnya masa tu nak beri tumpuan penuh pada lakinya. She got that right lah..bila tumpuan dah penuh kat laki..maka rakyat pun bertambah..terus ke enam orang. I guessed what she didn't take into account at that time bila buat keputusan nak berenti kerja nak bagi tumpuan penuh kat laki and anak-anak...is that..will the husband reciprocate the same?

Ye lah...dia derma sperm dia je lah...

There's always this talk about husband and wife should communicate. Ye lah...kalau dia nak makan nasik, dia communicate lah kan? But if you start telling them betapa letihnya badan you terkejar-kejar buat benda tu benda ni sensorang and hint-hint kat dia, what is your contribution in making this work...I bet you have better luck communicate dengan kambing.

Most wives nowadays embarked on special affair with their bibik. The wives are likely to cry bila bibiknya nak berenti. Only they know how you feel. Nak harap laki...while wife depa tu dah naik beruban memikirkan siapalah nak jaga anak ku kalau bibik ni berenti...their answer are likely to be..takpelah, kita cari baru. But leave you to do all the work while they all tu berhempas pulas picit remote control TV kan?

But what I don't understand...macam cerita my friend ni...komplen sokmo...kalau dah tahu laki kita tu rajin sikit aje dari kerbau, why putting up with him? I like to think that men don't have a clue apa yang dalam hati or kepala kita. So kalau dah tak suka...cakap aje lah kan?

Pi cerita kat Facebook sampai satu malaya baca buat apa?

Pastu ada hati lak nak tegur aku...tahan kau tak berlaki...when she obviously nak gantung diri sebab laki dia tak dulik kat dia.

I rasa nak tegur aje my friend ni...but thinking that kami ni pun last bercakap masa ambik result SPM, pastu terus tak jumpa and thanks to Facebook, kita berjejak kasih..kalau ku tegur nanti..she is most likely to say

a) Kau takde anak..kau tak paham
b) Kau takde laki...kau takkan paham...
c) Kita ni..tuhan dah jadikan lelaki blablabla..dan pompuan blablabla....(part ni yang aku tak larat)

So, I opted to be a friend and just said...laaa...kesian nya you.

Restaurant Review........(just)

This is my first attempt to do a restaurant review. Bukannya apa you, after nearly a decade living in London and few years living around England, jarangnya nak jumpa good Malaysian food. I have given up (amboi..sombong nya kata-kata...) on the one in Central London, Mawar ke, MARA House ke and Malaysia Hall dimana distulah tempat orang-orang gomen menyalahgunakan kuasa dan bercakap macam they all tu lah yang punya Jabatan-Jabatan gomen tu. Ada orang cerita kat I, puak-puak ni kalau datang makan tak payar bayar and ada pulak siap BYO ikan mintak orang punya kedai tu masak kan. Ish..ish..ish. Kalau dah kerja gomen dapat datang London 3,4 kali setahun takkan lah miskin kot? And of course lah, orang-orang gomen ini akan dilayan dengan spesial nya...and orang-orang tak gomen macam I ni, dibagi nasik sejuk aje. Another thing yang tak sedap dipandang, Malaysia Hall buat peraturan yang orang bukan Malaysia takleh masuk makan kat Malaysia Hall. Kalau nak masuk pun, kena masuk dengan orang Malaysia aje. So, Hjh Leemah..awok dokleh masuk makang. Awok kan oghang ER? Hehehe...takpo..nanti awok maghi Londeng, awok makang dumoh saya deh?

Ketahuilah oleh kita semua, dalam Londeng ni ada 3 (yang I tahu lah) kedai makan Malaysia yang nama kedainya ada word 'Makan'. Satu kat Richmond, satu kat Shepherd Bush and satu lagi kat Portobello Road. I have been to all 3 of them. So read along.....

Makan-Makan, is a nice humble eaterie, owned by a Chinese Malaysian lady. Because kedai ni adalah dekat dengan rumah and opis nombor 2 I, and bila kengkawan datang and I tengah takde mood nak masak (and I memang nya tak pandai masak) maka, tempat ni lah yang menjadi tempat I menjamu kengkawan I. I must say that although they listed Chinese & Malaysian food in their branding, it is far, far better than Chinese food yang eat all you can buffet £7.99 tu. In fact, the sambal, the rendang and the karipap tasted so original. The owner cum waiter dia pompuan cina yang nama Michelle ni punya PR adalah kelas satu...kalah stewardess MAS yang hanya suka melayan matsalleh aje. Kalau you nak compare dengan Malaysia Hall, maka ianya adalah berbeza macam Gunung Everest dengan Bukit Berapit. Makcik Pakcik Malaysia Hall dah kaya dan berasakan tak perlu lagi nak bermanis-manis muka dan Michelle, agaknya pun dah kaya jugak..tapi tetap memandang kami-kami yang masuk kat kedai dia ni cam lombong emas. The price is reasonable...although orang kaya kat Haverhill tu kata makanan kat Haverhill lagi mahal. So, I sincerely recommend thisn place to you all. Tempatnya takdelah grand mana...tapi food dia sungguh menjilat jari. If there's only setback ialah I don't think the food in there is halal yakni..takdelah halal certificate. So ayam dan dagingnya adalah dikatok dengan kejam. I am not fuss asalkan bukan babi..although sorang student PHD ni (perlu dingat ya..dia ni bukan kawan I, but kawan to my fren ni) yang masa kitorang makan KFC, dia punyalah bersyarah pasal ayam tu tak halal only to be told off by his friend (my friend) dengan ayat-ayat sakti...'eleh...nak makan yang halal aje, tapi isap ko*e gak..'. Wah..terkasimasss aku mendengar nya. So, I rate this restaurant 10 out of 10 lah ye...mind you, they serves karipap panas-panas.

I ni kurang gemar sangat nak ke Portobello Market nun...bukannya apa you all, area ni dekat dengan St Charles. St Charles ni adalah opis I numbor 3 and ramai population clients I dok bermastautin kat St Charles sepital ni. It is a bit too familar for me. Kerja macam I ni, kalau boleh..kalau nak berumahtangga, janganlah sekali berumahtannga kat area dekat dengan opis. Nak pergi kedai pun tak senang nanti. The owner of this shop is a Kedahan. The location is quite near to central London (adalah satu bas aje) and dekat jugaklah dengan tanah jajahan Bayswater ittew, so bila jalan-jalan, maka akan terserempaklah dengan student-student Malaysia yang mega-pandai. I tak tahulah nak cakap apa..but I selalu sangat terserempak dengan student Malaysia yang akan pandang I macam lah I ni orang gaji pilipin. Ke perasaan aku aje Kiah? I nak aje cakap..eleh...I ni awal lagi dah mai UK belajar, but siapalah aku kan Kiah? Master pun takde...degree pun 2nd class.

Okay...I nak tak nak komen lebih-lebih pasal restaurant ni. The owner and me goes loooong way back but I wish them all the best. I dah pernah datang sekali..bukannya makan free pun. Tapi lepas tu macam-macam cerita keluar. Tak apalah...

Compared to the two, ni lah kedai makan yang paling upmarket. Letaknya di Westfield, shopping kompleks yang paling besar kat Europe. Poket I pun koyak besar dek kerna membeli Xmas present. I was told ada kedai Malaysia, so hati I macam berbunga-bungalah.

Price of the food mahal sikit lah dari kedai biasa. Takpelah...interior deco nya chantekkk. MB1 spotted a malay waiter yang berambut blonde and we place our order cakap melayu. The teh and nescafe tarik is nice. The menu is nice and bila mata lapar...otak pun tak berapa waras.

MB1 didn't finished her Mee Kari. I finished all my food in protest (ke kedekut?) and MB2, as always oblivious to what is right and what is not the right taste (in the end, she commented that her food taske like celaka) Inside the bowl of curry mee, amongst the noodles, the udang and the fishballs, in lies the abysmal size of sayur sawi with the trunk sama size nya dengan batang kelapa.

Dengan tak puas hatinya, I tanya kat one of the waiter, do you serves this kind of vegetables? Don't you think the size is against health and safety? People could choke.

Of course, she will passed me as customer yang berlagak, assured me that she'll asked the chef but lepas tu dia pun ghaib tah kemana. I walked to the counter to pay my bill. The cashier asked if I want to put a gratuity on my credit card. I pandang dia. I beg your pardon? You served me a vege that fits an elephant and you're asking me for tip? I don't think so.

Dengan serta merta, kami pun rasa macam nak tukar nama kedai tu jadi 'JOM BERAMBUS DARI SINI'.

I doubt the waiter/waitresses know what they're serving as they just abruptly campak the meal on your table.The Manager is a Chinese man from Hong Kong. There's one Malay waiter and the rest...entahlah datang dari mana.I googled this restaurant and the owner is one Datuk from Malaysia. If he or his konco-konco is reading this....

a) Your food suck

b) Your service is poor

c) Ayam percik is not a grilled chicken breast with layers of kuah satay on top ye...buat malu aje.

d) Your Mee Kari is so cair like air mata....and it travels from Dundee to our table.

Had I not asked, maybe sampai sudah tak tiba-tiba pun.That was the £40 I so resented paying you.

Sekian.

I Really Need To Moan....

I think....(repeat ye..I think) that in the Malay family, it is very important that your parents, siblings and sedara mara ada tauliah mahupun yang takde tauliah to like the person you're going out with or the person you're about to marry.

Lepas kahwin...lain cerita. Janji dah lepas masuk into the family. After that, kalau family laki kita tak suka kat kita, itu they all punya masalah and we, sebagai orang pompuan akan mempropagandakan laki kita supaya beralih arah ke keluarga kita pulak.

I am not the best person to talk and write about this subject. I ni, laki pun takde.Yang dikendung pun terciciran....

But over the years I have witnessed a fair share of family pandemoniums, mak mertua tak suka this menantu, kakak tak suka that adik ipar, and ada pulak tu, seisi keluarga tak suka their new addition in the family.

Family orang putih jarang pulak ada problem cenggitu. Habis-habis pun they will say..oh, I didn't get on with so and so's wife, husband etc, etc. and those people will be crossed of their Xmas cards lists.

Masa mak si F masih idup, she was very pleasant to me. Hantar birthday card, bagi birthday present and in fact, habis seisi keluarga dia bagi I presents.I must have impressed them so much, agaknya aku lah yang membawak anak they all tu ke jalan yang benar (phuwweekkk!!!) I think if they tak suka kat I pun, demi anak mereka tu, they terpaksa suka jua. Jarang orang putih nak masuk campur hal dalam kain anak masing-masing.

I get to know my first brother in law when he came to the house to be introduced to my Mum (my parents lives separately at this time) He made the massive effort. My sister must have pre empted him about me and what I am like (ish..what am I like...buruknya perangai) and it is very obvious that he was focussing in trying to be liked by me. I was in a very vulnerable position at this time. Ye lah..dia tu boipren adik I...a year older than me (that made him 2 yrs older than my sister) and I ni tak kawin lagi masa tu and still tak kawin lagi masa sekarang ni (not to mention...tengah super glamer berkebaya ketat masa ni...kau ada Aking?) tak ke rasa anxious semacam? Macam-macam benda dalam kepala I masa tu. Nak dress up ke or just buat biasa? Kalau bergaya lebih-lebih kang orang kata I nak hambik boipren adik I or manalah tahu boipren adik I tetiba tersuka ke kat I ni...(ke aku aje yang rasa camtu? Ohh...Kiah wouldn't understand...)

Seperti biasa, and atas bantuan saudara mara yang terdekat lagi puaka, I have stolen my sister's thunder on her wedding day. Ye Tuan/Puan, masa orang tengah sibuk berkenduri, masa tu jugaklah sedara mara yang puaka mulutnya pi sosek-sosek kat orang yang the pengantin pompuan nya sister masih lagi available. And my brother in law's parents pun merasa bersalah and approached my parents to offer some gift for me as the melangkah bendul present. Memang cilaka sungguh masa tu. Angin satu badan I masa tu...lagi besar anginnya bila berdepan dengan rombongan my brother in law yang dah tahu bahawasanya yang I ni masih single. Nak dijadikan cerita, ada pulak uncle my brother in law yang bujang terlajak hadir masa tu (he was looking like like Sohaimi Meor Hassan versi muda) and aku dan dia di usik-usik githoo. I tell you, kalaulah tak ngenangkan adik I, mahunya majlis kahwin tu jadi peristiwa Memali. But sebagai kakak yang mithali, I diamkan aje walaupun rasa nak ku soyok kan mulutnya sedara mara ku yang puaka ittew.

So enough of that. I didn't get to know my sister in law (my eldest brother's wife) and was missing out on lots of information about her. I think because my eldest brother tu perangai ngalahkan beruang, we thought siapalah pompuan yang malang yang sanggup jadi bininya. My eldest brother tu ada ramai gilpren tak jadi and his wife now is the only one yang survived ke jinjang pelamin. She is very young and I would say naive, as a woman with a rational thinking would not go and commit with a man like him. Bukan I nak burukkan dia but we all kesian dengan dia...chenta punya pasal and sanggup buat apa saja. I just hope my brother realised his luck yang ada gak orang nak kawin dengan dia and one day if something happen, he will be strong for her (and for himself, idokle nak harapkan mak I to bail him out)

So...I am about to receive another sister in law. I was introduced to her last raya. The next thing I tahu, mike tu dah nak bernikoh. Laaaa...

I know this is none of my business but I'm struggling to like her. I tatau lah dia tu perangai cemana, but if adik I dah sanggup ikut apa saja yang dia ndak, maka itu adalah choice dia. But I think, she should at least make more effort to be nice to my mother (and me). Dah le first time datang beraya rumah boipren..buat-buatlah duduk meramahs mesra dengan bakal ipar duai and mak mertua kan? Idok...dia duduk berkepit (eh..takdelah nya literally berkepit, but you know lah what I mean) aje dgn boipren nya...main-main ringing tone (ohh..how tak cool nya) and takdelah nak volunteer tolong basuh pinggan ke, tanya bakal kakak ipar dia (aku ni lah) buat apa..etc, etc. I'm sure dia pun dah selalu jumpa my brother tu so apalah salahnya masa ni digunakan untuk bersuaikenal dengan bakal anak buah, bakal ipar, bakal kucing ipar ke kan? Tak!

Dengar khabarnya my brother and my sisters is bending over backward for her. Apparently she decide when she want the kenduri, takdelah nak tanya kita ni convenient ke idak. Yang semputnya my mother and my sisters lah (ish...jangan haraplah my eldest brother nak menolong), as if dia tu takde benda lain atas pinggan dia.

I ni pikir..kalau belum kahwin dah macam ni lah gaya princess-control nya, apatah lagi bila dah jadi bini besok? Dah le my brother tu lah sorang nya jantan yang boleh diharap dalam family and kalau dia pun dah dialih-arahkan oleh bininya, siapalah lagi yang boleh diharapkan oleh mak,kakak and adik perempuannya ni?

Please don't think that I am aganist her and her happiness. ..but I believe, tak banyak sikit, kita sebagai orang luar yang nak masuk dalam family orang lain ni, kenalah menjadi kambing dan mengembek dikandang kambing and menglembu (pandai kan aku, Kiah?) bila masuk ke ladang lembu.

My brother jokingly asked me what is my gift for him for his wedding. I cakap..nanti lah..tengoklah..of course dengan niat yang berbunga-bunga and wanting to see him happy. But bila mengenangkan yang hadiah ku tu nanti akan dapat ke pompuan tu jugak...I rasa macam nak beli Kitkat aje..nah share lah kau dua orang.

Ish.....

Harimau Kayu Yang Jahat

I think generally, men are excellent at keeping secret. Nak nak secret yang penting untuk they all tu, maka susahlah nak pecah kat mulut kan?

Women tend to trust easily so dalam pada 'ni I bagitahu you aje ye..you janganlah pi cerita kat orang tawww'...and the next thing, santero Paroi Jaya, Taman Pinngiran Golf and Taman Guru Senawang dah tahu. Ish..ish..ish...tu lah dia. Most women told their husband and their girlfriends, unbeknown to them that laki they all tu berpotensi jugak menjadi gossipmonger.

I think if we may fault a woman, then it should be their trusting nature for telling the wrong people the most exclusive secrets. I often told my friend not to trust me with secrets, pasalnya kenkadang by accident terkeluar juga. But considering that I pun jarang bercakap dengan orang, most of people secrets are safe with me and the cats.

So sekarang ni satu donia nah..dah tahu yang si golfer idola masakini tu ghope-ghope nya adalah musang berbulu beruang. Today and still counting, dah 7 pompuan telah dikongkek dibelakang bininya. Some 'transgressions' happened masa kawan tu dengan berat mengandung (sampainya hati...) and all that time, I yang kaki gossip antarabangsa ni boleh taktau yang dia ni set-set bapak ayam jugak. Although I must say..(so will you, Kiah) yang hati kecil ni terasalah jugak sebab tak tersenarai dalam list-list wanita sundalan ittew (Abang Rimau...you lupa ke kita pernah ber ehem-ehem dalam lemari penyapu...ke, I dengan Boris Becker..ish..I don't keep track you)

I think some may say that kita pompuan is blessed with tah hapa nama instinct yang membolehkan kita tahu yang laki/pakwe kita tu bermain kayu 2,3,4 & 5. Ye ke? I think unless kalau pompuan tu kerja dengan Pasukan CSI or private detective, some tak akan tahu until his/her deathbed. Ada jugak bini dapat tahu yang laki they all tu ada simpan pompuan until it is wayyyyyyyyyy too late. I am not talking sampai dah beranak lapan, but ada jugak case yang laki dijumpai 'termati' dengan pompuan yang dipercayai pompuan simpanan nya. Isk...agaknya masa kenduri arwah ke hapa, confuse nak nangis pasal apa. Pasal laki mati ke or pasal dapat tahu laki ada gilpren lain, kan?

One of my friend, dia ni dua beradik aje. Mak dah mati many years ago. So bapaknya membujang sampai dia pun mati 2 years ago. Dia dua beradik sebelum ni puaslah suruh bapaknya cari bini tapi bapak kata, alah..mak kau sorang dah cukup. Anak mana tak kembang bontot dapat bapak yang setia camtu? Tapi....bila bapaknya mati, ramai pompuan datang/talipon mengaku yang they all kawan. Ada yang sampai nangis pengsan-pengsan and plenty yang buat pengakuan yang selama ni I lah yang jaga bapak you. I masak for him etc,etc. Tak ke tercengang anak-anak dia yang selama ni ingat bapak dia suci dalam debu tu?

So came the time bila anak-anak kena kemas barang bapak. Dalam mobile phone bapak nya punyalah banyak message mesra alam dari tah mana pompuan and they found a lots of bank deposit slip, made payable to some womens name. So they gather that Bapak they all tu semasa hayatnya rajin lah jugak menjadi ATM machine kat kengkawan pompuan ni. Not that they mind, ye lah nak buat cemana kan?

My friend and her brother discovered lots of things Bapak didn't tell them when he was still alive. Sampai my friend cakap kat one of her aunt (adik bapak nya) ish..tah hapa lagi lah nak keluar lepas ni. Entah-entah dia ada anak kat mana-mana yang kita tak tau.

Tup-tup.....memang dia ada anak you all.......dengan bini baru yang much-much younger than his kids. Bapak kawin sesenyap..and cerai pun sesenyap. Takde orang tahu..melainkan sahabat sejati dia lah. My friend dapat tahu, sahabat sejati Bapak dia ni ghope-ghopenya terpaksa menyimpan rahsia Bapak my friend ni kawin lain sebab nya, dia pun ghopenya berbini baru jugak.Kawin sekali lak tu.

Hah kau!!!

So my friend ni and her brother terpaksalah pi menjejak kasih ex mak tiri diorang tu sebab nak bagitahu Bapak dah takde. My friend cakap kat I yang she and her brother prepared to overlook that fact, considering Bapak they all ni kira bapak mithali lah jugak and it must be hard for him to keep this secret.

But then, this is one of many. Si Rimau tu agaknya kalaulah takde eksiden dengan pokok maka kita-kita semua ni ingat dia tu suami mithali sangat lah kan? Hah..sekali keluar tujuh lak tu. Pulak tu, apasal lah dia bodoh sangat? Kalau dia tu mekanik kat Kwikfit ke, kongkek lah sesapa pun..mana ada orang kenal kan?

It is hard to understand why men nak pi menyimpan rahsia yang macam ni. Are they really made of stone and boleh nyenyak tido malam menyimpan rahsia yang macam ni? Tak terpikir ke dunia ni bulat, pusing-pusing jumpa orang tu and orang tu jugaklah yang boleh termembukak rahsia they all tu.

Ada one gagak Social Worker kat Dept I kerja ni, motto dia mudah saja. Buat apa susah-susah nak menjeruk hati pikir laki dia ada main kayu tiga ke hapa...because kalau dia nak buat, dia akan buat dimana saja. She sais to us one day, well, if he wants to stray behind my back, then he can go and do it. But if I catch him, he'll die.

So, sediakanlah kapak...and pre nuptial agreement ye..kengkawan.I am all for taking them monkeys to the cleaners.