About Me

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Update Kerna Terasa....

Iye..aku lah itu. masa sekolah tak main budak-budak satu asrama...tapi terjatuh chenta dengan Sang Jejaka Super Duper Senior nearby ITM. Dah nak wat camne....I am into older person. So kepada sesapa yang cobak nak ngenenkan I dengan adik-adik muda dari I, boleh blah lah ye...baik lah Kak jaga laki akak tu. Hiks!

Alike Kiah, I have a very strict man as a father. He is still strict with us dalam pada kudrat dah tinggal sikit tu pun. It is unfortunate that dalam reramai anak dia, jahanam besar is his eldest. Knowing how jahanam he was when we were little, I tried to compensate the family flaws (kononnya) by being the docile and the boleh harap one. Bapak kata masa sekolah takleh chenta-chenta, I ikut aje. In between, my sisters sibuk sesenyap membalas surat chenta dari sang jantan tah mana, there I was reading books like there's no tomorrow to pass my standard 5 assesment test. My father,all this time I thought I was scared of him...but the older I get, the more I realised that I am the yes type daughter because I adore him. The only thing is now, I express myself as it is...just like him.So when he was fussing about..sampai bila kau nak membujang ni...I pun dengan petah nya akan menjawab...because I feel like it. Tu diaahhhhh. Pastu i will tambah...I thought before you said NO to chenta-chenta kan? So..I am doing as I told lah ni.

Me and my current beau, we goes a long waaaaay back. I was young and naive...and in a confused state. Siamang was in his first year in UMIST. So we were separated. All that time, I was not sure with Siamang. Siamang was a happy go lucky man. I have never feel needed around him.He needs me when he needs me, when he was lonely..when he needs a good listener. And I was always there.It is true what Lobai said...men at that age will only noticed the gediks type. I know Siamang was into all the gediks girl hence he was very friendly, enriched with jokes bangang dan juga memiliki motor Honda Fame (nampak benau lah jaman jurassic nya kan????)

I was not proud of what I got myself into dengan budak ni. Dia pun ada girlfriend masa tu. But masa tu I pun dilayan macam Mawar Terpinggir oleh Siamang, so manalah hati tak berbunga-bunga bila orang lain bagi attention gittew?

This was a long time ago. Sidia ni pun boleh tahan tahap Buaya Lake Placid nya...so, hati I pun dah terpatah jua oleh nya...and the irony is, Siamang masa tu macam tahu pulak yang I dah beralih arah from him, probably sensing that I was occupied with something or someone, and dia pun start lah balik menabur janji.So there I went with Siamang again, with this person stays at the back of my mind. Until dia timbul balik masa kita tengah makan ABC kat area umah kau tu, Kiah....

Although sekarang ni masing-masing dah kata chenta..chenta...muntah..muntah...cirit birit, orang ni masih ada lagi secret liaisons nya.Baru-baru ni I tanya dia...dia pun mengaku lah. Kuciwa lah jugak I...but that day I dah pun cakap..you can do what you like over there, and I also can do what I like over here. Ye lah..kita ni dah jauh berjuta batu...tak kan nak sekat pulak human rights orang kan? But deep down, I was hoping, kalau you dah kata chenta dengan I...mesti you dah takde hati nak ber projekan dengan orang lain kan? Ohh..tidak. Needs is a needs. I aje yang masih mengamalkan konsep chenta dan perasaan. Takde chenta..takde lah perasaan...maka...takdelah aksi-aksi gelap.

The only thing that I enjoy out of this is...after a long time, I know after a hard days work, I am looking forward to ber yahoo messenger voice/video call.It is nice to feel wanted again.

Long distance love is always not easy. I have done it before.It didn't last. I have wanted this person for so many years now...and now dia dah datang balik. I have doubts but most of all, I need this distraction.

I kan memang suka mencari penyakit....ish, ish..ish.

10 comments:

tireless mom said...

Awwwww... seronok nya dengar betapa berbunga nya orang tengah di lamun chenta. Keep praying girl! Hope there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

j.amyemeelea said...

tak menyapampah tapi gua TERASA teramat jugak ah...

my gf called the other night to play catch up ranted how even though she has managed to hook up dgn seseorang yang baru (dan lebih baguih daripada ex dia yg sewel tue) she still feels very much insecure sebab 'long distance' lar.

she was told by another gf maybe she doesn't love dis new guy sangat dats why takbley nak trust fully lagik. BUT i say...its a learning process lor. da nak kata long distance wot!

kalau da tahu diri tue paranoia dek dibuat yg lepas-lepas tue...carik lar yg dekat jer :)

CUMA! long live mak ji! and cest la vie beb..to appreciate the NOW is truly best. you shall meet that satu orang yg berchenta dan berprasaan lar.

i yakin :D

Manal said...

Errr...(dgn evil gelak): whats love got to do, got to do with it? whats love, if its a second hand emotion?

But: When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is...

There u go, i dah explain dlm lagu.

aking said...

Ermmmmm indahkan??? i loike..

p/s: mok wawa, cepattttttt!!!hehehe

j.amyemeelea said...

@ manal :-

i still prfer che tina peh cuit-cuit~ whatssss love got to do with it? nak gelik2 per *muahaha*

and che celine dion? *pouts* OMG! its so so so TITANTIC peh feel

Desert Rose said...

Sob Sob awat aku melankolic ni Esah...aku kan hopeless romantika gitu..dah plak dengar lagu background ko nih..syahdu rasa eh... semoga ko berbahagia dan gumbira dan semoga harapan abah ko akan tercapai jugak akhirnya *tadah tangan sesama meh*

miSs inTerpReted said...

mak aji, i say, just enjoy it and go with the flow. long distance relationship aint easy tapi skype/ym and cheap idd calls sangatlah membantu.

have fun!

Cik Kiah said...

Since manal dah explain dlm lagu, i pun nak lah..

Pernah ada rasa cinta
Antara kita
Kini tinggal kenangan....

Hehe cam siyal..
Btw, that one lagu Saleem

NenekPenne said...

good lah kalau u tengah bercinta
brcinta tu indah ok
sama mcm i yang tengah bercinta dgn my ex hubby sekarang ni....

Anonymous said...

Hajah...

Are you really in love

or

in love with the idea of being in love?


Been there, done that too.... Sangat confusing and menyakitkan hati...