Update Kerna Terasa....

Iye..aku lah itu. masa sekolah tak main budak-budak satu asrama...tapi terjatuh chenta dengan Sang Jejaka Super Duper Senior nearby ITM. Dah nak wat camne....I am into older person. So kepada sesapa yang cobak nak ngenenkan I dengan adik-adik muda dari I, boleh blah lah ye...baik lah Kak jaga laki akak tu. Hiks!

Alike Kiah, I have a very strict man as a father. He is still strict with us dalam pada kudrat dah tinggal sikit tu pun. It is unfortunate that dalam reramai anak dia, jahanam besar is his eldest. Knowing how jahanam he was when we were little, I tried to compensate the family flaws (kononnya) by being the docile and the boleh harap one. Bapak kata masa sekolah takleh chenta-chenta, I ikut aje. In between, my sisters sibuk sesenyap membalas surat chenta dari sang jantan tah mana, there I was reading books like there's no tomorrow to pass my standard 5 assesment test. My father,all this time I thought I was scared of him...but the older I get, the more I realised that I am the yes type daughter because I adore him. The only thing is now, I express myself as it is...just like him.So when he was fussing about..sampai bila kau nak membujang ni...I pun dengan petah nya akan menjawab...because I feel like it. Tu diaahhhhh. Pastu i will tambah...I thought before you said NO to chenta-chenta kan? So..I am doing as I told lah ni.

Me and my current beau, we goes a long waaaaay back. I was young and naive...and in a confused state. Siamang was in his first year in UMIST. So we were separated. All that time, I was not sure with Siamang. Siamang was a happy go lucky man. I have never feel needed around him.He needs me when he needs me, when he was lonely..when he needs a good listener. And I was always there.It is true what Lobai said...men at that age will only noticed the gediks type. I know Siamang was into all the gediks girl hence he was very friendly, enriched with jokes bangang dan juga memiliki motor Honda Fame (nampak benau lah jaman jurassic nya kan????)

I was not proud of what I got myself into dengan budak ni. Dia pun ada girlfriend masa tu. But masa tu I pun dilayan macam Mawar Terpinggir oleh Siamang, so manalah hati tak berbunga-bunga bila orang lain bagi attention gittew?

This was a long time ago. Sidia ni pun boleh tahan tahap Buaya Lake Placid nya...so, hati I pun dah terpatah jua oleh nya...and the irony is, Siamang masa tu macam tahu pulak yang I dah beralih arah from him, probably sensing that I was occupied with something or someone, and dia pun start lah balik menabur janji.So there I went with Siamang again, with this person stays at the back of my mind. Until dia timbul balik masa kita tengah makan ABC kat area umah kau tu, Kiah....

Although sekarang ni masing-masing dah kata chenta..chenta...muntah..muntah...cirit birit, orang ni masih ada lagi secret liaisons nya.Baru-baru ni I tanya dia...dia pun mengaku lah. Kuciwa lah jugak I...but that day I dah pun cakap..you can do what you like over there, and I also can do what I like over here. Ye lah..kita ni dah jauh berjuta batu...tak kan nak sekat pulak human rights orang kan? But deep down, I was hoping, kalau you dah kata chenta dengan I...mesti you dah takde hati nak ber projekan dengan orang lain kan? Ohh..tidak. Needs is a needs. I aje yang masih mengamalkan konsep chenta dan perasaan. Takde chenta..takde lah perasaan...maka...takdelah aksi-aksi gelap.

The only thing that I enjoy out of this is...after a long time, I know after a hard days work, I am looking forward to ber yahoo messenger voice/video call.It is nice to feel wanted again.

Long distance love is always not easy. I have done it before.It didn't last. I have wanted this person for so many years now...and now dia dah datang balik. I have doubts but most of all, I need this distraction.

I kan memang suka mencari penyakit....ish, ish..ish.