Again?

My Pacar, with expression susah berak.Ni tengah meneran ni you all...

And I did wear black jumper today.Excuse the messy office lah ye...

Ohh...how many more time have I got to wallow this self-pity? Troubleshoot to that is, whenever all the news & media stop reporting the story and flashing that glossy images of Raja Nazrin & Zara Davidson.Until it stop, brace yourself to another tale of psychological damage from me, every time you decide to hop in here.

Against nasihat kawan-kawan, I went looking for more news of their wedding.Sajalah nak cari penyakit, not forgetting, naluri suka menyebok yang diluar tabii ni.I think it was NSTP, hah kau, habis dengan gambar and the video clips sekali keluar.The akad nikah..the sarung cincin and what not.Hati and perasaanku macam kena shred aje dengan shredding machine.Berjurai-jurai gitu.

What is it with me neh? Twice in a lifetime, chenta hatiku berkahwin dengan orang lain didepan bijik mata ku yang rabun ni.If you're reading my tale, then you should know that my siamang also left me for an engineer.Bagus sangat ke mereka-mereka ni? Kamek sik bagus ka?

On the other hand, Raja Nazrin got a very young voice.Waaah!!! Aku terima nikahnya so and so...(eleh...macam lah taktau dia kahwin dengan siapa kan?) If only that terima nikah is for me instead of that Zara Davidson.Anger aside, baju kahwin really cantik, wow, rasa nak kahwin lagi pulak I.Just because the baju is so nice.

Maybe I should do something about me.What is it that I need to change to be more interesting? Well, as you know, I can't swim (tapi, pass pulak swimming test dulu) and hmm hmm, takde B.Sc.Eng, so, I just have to make do with my sedia ada negativity.Let me see........

1. I don't have a romantic life.Nothing at all.It is self-imposed.It is so hard to go out and date.I think, I am difficult.I don't think I am an easy person to be around for person that I am in love with.It could be that I am uncompromising, maybe overbearing and needy.Suka main pc games, pastu tengok cerita Freinds, Frasier berulang-ulang.Tak cukup dengan yang keluar kat TV, beli box set DVD lagi.Kau gilo? I was lucky that F love me strong enough to warrant marriage.

2.I am not friendly.Betul ni...if I speak to you, count your self lucky because I don't even speak to myself sometimes.Growing up, my family was a little tribe unto itself and really not very social.I think, if you're not really a social person, you inherently remain anti-social.I am probably good with people a couple of hours and then I want to go home.I am lucky that Lee & Coco Chanel is very friendly, kalau tak....tatau lah.Ada orang tu kata I tak tegur dia...tapi, tak ke dia tanya diri dia sendiri, ada tak dia tegur I (eh...ni lain cerita ni)

3. I am so insecure.If I elaborate further, it will eventually make me depressed.So, that is that lah.

4. I am always in love with people that didn't love me strong enough.Like RN, I really love him and have always been upset that he doesn't love me.Tapi ini cerita dongeng.

5.I cannot cook.I only cook mihun.That is it.I drink Diet Coke and black coffee which some people find revolting.

6. Although active listening is one of my job specification, in my relationship reality, I don't listen and worst, I argue.99 out of 100.

It passed midnight now, and I cannot think some more.Now you why that I am usually the dumpee.

P/s Sempena menyeleberate perkahwinan ex bf tak pernah jadi I tu, I added few more song in my imeem (which is also my personal favourite) Full of despondency. So, meh la kita ber karaoke beramai-ramai.