About Me

Monday, May 14, 2007

Feeling Fat

My last 48 hours personal achievement ialah berjalan kaki ke office and back, leg-it express non-stop sejauh 7 miles.At 9.07 pm tonight, I am back at work with reports to write about the people that I saw today.Since Miss Nigeria pergi walkabout, this is like routine.I will sleep in my office Sunday and Monday and sambung balik Wednesday.

Why 'jalan kaki'? You got your Oyster Card, you got bicycle and habis malas, you can borrow car from the MB's.Mau tau? I have a huge suspicion that I dah debab.Jalan kaki to work is the bestest option that I can come up with yesterday. One way route took 45 min to an hour, depending on how I 'jalan'. After that, I was knackered but the good thing after physical movement is that you can feel your blood streaming on every vein and you know that things inside you are working. The heavy bodily movement also give more oxygen to your brain...and that, is good. Speaking of debab, I have been eating rice selang dua hari since 3 weeks ago.Before, rice is something that I eat once a month, that if, if we suddenly terasa nak order Indian Takeaway.I have not been to the gym as I honestly tak ada masa.The fact that my gym membership is free membuatkan I lagilah rasa tak guilty tuang pergi gym.But the idiotic rationale behind my rant is that, I malas pergi gym tapi I nak stay slim pulak macam Jessica Alba.Where can?

Most women are the victim of envy, jealousy gilababi at the cikeding models that appears as cover for most glossy magazines here. Even the workout video model are so slim that you wonder why they bersusah payah nak ber execise. What were they thinking, the Art Director? Why can't they just hire Syanie for a 1 hours workout session and the consumer can kononnya 'bersenam bersama Syanie' and bersama-samalah menguruskan badan. The Jessical Alba type model will only make the overweight feels that they are never going to look like her.Maybe they will but after bersenam like nak pitam, they will soon think, why bother? I will never be slim like her.

My colleague was asking, why did I jalan kaki that far and where the hell is my excess fat yang I gigih sangat nak buang tu? It is hard to explain, but there is some people who feel 'fat' rather than being 'fat'. I feel fat and 65 kg is just not ideal for me as I'm so used to be 60 to 62kg, and although I don't weigh myself that much, I can feel that somehow, there is unwanted fat hiding somewhere.

Working in a mental health environment, I met plenty of people who is feeling fat rather than being fat themselves.This are the people who will announce or shall I say, happily humiliating themselves to the world by calling themselves a fat pig.Low self esteem is the common diagnosis but the clever reverse psychology about it is that, people like this desperately need others to tell them that they are not fat.They know that people don't discuss other people weight openly (but people usually discuss belakangly when they come across someone debab). To make people notice and comment is by make them know what is the problem.The fat feeling people will then tell all 'I am fat'. To their dismay, we will say 'No lah...where got fat'. They will insist again. I am fat. They will keep saying it until they convinced that they are really fat and the determination to stay slim is greater than before, now that they're convince (by themselves) that they're fat.

That explained why the population of size Zero widen outwards.With men ridiculous expectation of their spouse/girlfriend to be reasonably sized, adding inch for a woman is a nightmare. For some reason, is okay for the husband to have their waist expand but resent their wives to do the same.My closet cousin married a bastard, and after so many years, he is still a bastard.When I visited them some years ago after my cousin gave birth to her baby, the bastard husband dengan bongkak nya tell of his wife in front of me, lepas ni, you kena kembali ke bentuk asal.Bentuk asal? His poor wife, dek takut lari carik lain, working so hard to slim down after the birth but with baby in tow,her regular job,rumah yang nak dikemas and ular sawa jelmaan (also known as laki dia) harus diberi makan, slimming down is a target hard to reach.Even after the 1st baby fat tak habis buang, ular sawa jelmaan anak haram itu terus pancut anak nombor dua.And that bastard can still make demands.

This cousin of mine eventually tutup kilang after 2 babies and submitting to husband's demands, terus usaha nak kecik kan badan.Every Saturday nights she was reduced to feeling so tak lawa when Fauziah Latiff appears on the telly dancing-dancing. She will buy all that slimming pills from Nona Roguy to Teh Orang Kampung, only to be confined in jamban 25 hours a day. The psychological effect of regular berak-berak is that, she thought she exited so much taik and eating more than usual tak kan jadi hal.How wrong she was...on her behalf (although, she hesitantly appoint me) I tell off that bastard pet python of hers, you got nerves, you're hardly good looking yourself, not forgetting fat as badak!!! We never cross path after that.

I have no point to make but I guess, what I am trying to say is that, as a person, we reserve the right and control on how to present ourselves.We oftem succumb to basic expectation of a human nature, the need to present ourselves well to the world, or not, ourselves.If you are happy with the way you look, let it stay that way.But all I want to do now is to loss that extra 3kg.That gone and I will be fine.

I also like to wish to all cikgu's in Malaysia, Selamat Hari Guru, which is on Wednesday....except to that stupid cikgu in Kedah yang gi beromen pulak dengan anak murid dia kat tepi lombong tu, ciss kau!!! And to my sister too, yang selalu komplen yang budak sekolahnya adalah jelmaan setan berjambang.Tu lah, ko nak sangat jadik cikgu...padan muka.

7 comments:

Lee Novotny said...

hahahaha kan??? padan muka!:P Setan menjelma dlm bentuk budak budak skolah!

Fasal body beautiful tu nok, dun worry, I feel the same too kalau tgk majalah cik pon nih. Yang diorang ni ramainya yang body kekar..mak makan hati occay?? Mak pun nak jadik camtu! Tapi apakan daya, hiks...

Peliklah...mak baru je nak publish entry fasal GYM and bodypump in my blog, tup tup u ols dok cerits fasal losingw eight etc...psychic kah???? **mak takotttt!!!

lekiu said...

Every Sunday night, I'll make a resolution that come Monday, aku akan berhenti makan nasi lauk kari. Tapi aku tahan setakat pukul 2 je. Lepas tu abang india yang jual kari bawah pokok belakang hotel concorde tu macam panggil panggil je..."ane, ane...mari lah" sambil geleng geleng kepala...mana aku tahan !!

My diet has nothing to do with vanity but more like concern for my health. With a family history of high blood pressure and heart attack, I'm sort of living dangerously when I head for nasi lemak every morning and nasi lauk kari for lunch.

Life is indeed ironic and full of contradiction, when I was young with little to spend on food, semua nak makan. Bila dah kerja ada duit sikit, macam macam tak leh makan.

I know quite a lot of men who INSIST wife must be slim tapi si jantan tu tak kisah pun... all i can say is....jantan semua cam sial je ! Ikat je semua jantan kat dunia ni dan buang masuk laut!! haha.

Typhoon Sue said...

whoa..... u right so fast one... updated daily ah? rajin tul...

fat. huh!
tell me about it.
been trying to lose weight for ages. not been successful thus far. Did what you did, walked to office once. Well, actually, i took the train, then walk to office. Still, same thing.

Was sweating like a u-know-what by the time i get there. had to hide in the washroom for a while to wash off the sweat coz i didn't wanna smell bad. then i sprayed huge doses of perfume to mask any possible sweat odour (I'm paranoid ok!). Then, because i was so bloody wangi oredi, the perfume cucuk my hidung and gave me migraine.

So, enough said. I never walked to office again.

If you find any other alternative for losing weight that doesn't require sweating or much effort, let me know.

Montymelly said...

Esah, you really need to buck up. Previously ko cite pasal payung, pas tu ko cite pasal 'fat'?? Noooo! Jangan ko sebut three letter word tu..you the one who has legs to the armpit and panjang tiga depa nak komplen pasal being fat? Elo! Aku ni punya la dekat dgn paksi graviti bumi pun tak gaduh sangat (ok la aku tak sedar diri, asyik nak membaham cam buaya..buaya pun kengkadang rest gak)

You don't have fat, you have body dysmorphic disorder. Masa tengok gambar ko ngan pacar ko, aku kata mak oi..minah ni punya reservoir kat tengkuk boleh tadah air ganti kenyir dam lagi. Ko tau i can't remember the last time i could see my clavicles???

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Lee, u punya LA fitness ada steam room tak? I punya takde..cam siyall aje kan? Tapi badan u chanteqque...nilah..kalau berbumping tiap-tiap minggu kat sona mona, harooossss badan cantik.

LeQ, jantan sial? Buang dalam laut? What abt jantan yg when the wife nak kurus, dia bantai order Domino Pizza malam2 buta..pastu guilty, and then bribe her $100 per kg loss? Bakar kepala eh?

Sue, u have the weather to lay on, if jalan kaki to work is not practical...get yr self a stepper machine...or ...puasalah sepanjang tahun...pahala pun dapat, kan?

Kiah..IM FAT IM FAT IM FAT, 3 words in 3 sentences....ko jeles ke tgk kawasan tadahan air aku ty...air brush kot...leher penuh lemak aku ni..

Rockafella Gurl said...

too me, lagi byk ko brjln lagi mmbakar lemak uols! aku yg dh cekeding ni pon sukak brjln kaki.. (lagi cekeding! cehh!!)

but when talking about fud.. im much worried too, first if i took a lot, i will thinking 'bout the cholesterol, fat, bla, bla.. second, if i dun take.. makes me more cekeding.. adeehh.. so camne aku nk weight gain?
doctor said i have high metabolism.. tu diaa..

Goddess Selene said...

Hah kannn?? Mak pon skrg nie dah mula untuk berjinak2 bersenam kat umah! Bersenam ape mak pon taktau!! Hiks..

Yg penting setelah duduk terperap kat umah, mak rasa fat kat keliling pinggang nie mula membiak dgn pantas. Mak redha jer!! oppsss...

Ehh uols gemuk ker?? Knape dlm gamba mak tgk slim ala2 anorexia jer?? Oppsss.. *LARIKKKKK...