KLIA yang sungguh purrfect
I shadowed a teraphy session with a 40 something man today.Unlike my other clients,he does not have any visible disabilities.Just emotionally disturbed.I was quite looking forward to 'do' him as this will be my first case of a person with less complicated nature.
He amazes me the way he deliver himself.As much as I dislike his arrogance,I admire the fact that he acknowledge that his usual self wasn't acceptable.He came from a very humble background,unimpressive tertiary education but however managed to bag himself a fortune in the property market.He is a hopeless romantic with series of failed relationship.His 'basic' issue is merely, accoording to him,just being unhappy.He want to 'feel' normal.
Having doing the work that I do now,I am able to differentiate a true account and a make believe story.This man make us believe that he had such life,making up all its complications and the unhappy endings.Such a facade.
In my previous post, I have ruthlessly 'bubuh' the people who think that they are god on earth.This is what we usually diagnosed as 'Borderline Indicative Of Psychopatic Behaviour' as they behave in a way they feel comfortable (however bad) and satisfy their anxiety by painting other people black.Metaphorically.
I can imagine people like anonymous (ohh..you must also know that they have severe back bone complications) who seems to receive pleasure by critisising others is a repressed individual themselves.
People can be repressed either voluntarily or forcibly.Those who choose to be repressed voluntarily are those who live up to expectation of others,mould themselves to fit in and get accepted.Hukum alam lah ni.I met plenty of these 'voluntarily repressed' individual when I was working with ASTRO before.Trying so hard to fit in and they neglect their usual self.It ended up making them depressed but you know lah orang kita, depression is something they malu nak mengaku.Jalan mudah is to take it out on other people.People like this should be burn to death.Just because your life is so fucked up,it doesn't give you the right to fuck up other people's lives too.Bahlol!!!
Forcibly repressed individual common case in those who are stuffy in their own closet or anak-anak orang alim that is expected to be as alim as their parents walaupun hati digaru-garu nak pergi joget.This sort of people is forever unhappy however perfect they claimed their life were.Macam this man.Perfect (by his standard) but unhappy.Like those who were trapped in their own stuffy closet,nak ikut hati and nafsu takut kena kutuk so nak puas kan hati, start kutuk orang.Deny sehabis-habisnya.Yang anak Pak Haji yang bengang tak boleh pergi juget tu pulak,startlah mengutuk kaki joget tu sundal ke hapa just because they themselves tak boleh nak ber 'Macarena'.Celaka kan?
Well, back to this perfect man.He is a voluntarily repressed individual.He neglected his own needs just to satisfy the reputation he set upon himself.Yes, he has a perfect life, perfect according to hiw own set standard but that is not what he really wants, deep down.
I can relate to his yearn.He wants happiness.All I can think of today that in order to feel happy, we have got accept our own flaws.Are we comfortable with our own skin? Honestly, I fantasised of a perfect life all the time.At times, I'm glad I choose to do what I do now.Working with the disabled, made me realised that nothing can ever be perfect and you have to do what best for you to make and keep you happy.
Expert said that if you hated someone so bad, it is not that someone that you despised, it is you.Think and make connection.It made sense.The man talked so much about his hatred towards woman that 'only after his money' and all that slag.But really, he was talking about himself...and inadvertantly hating himself, maybe for what he is not.
It is funny how many of us out there who are ever so willing to crucify the flawless homoexuals but does not bat an eyelid to those omnisexuals that would bed/raped anything...including their own flesh and blood.Are they hating homosexual because thet are not one?
Selamat membuka mata and minda.
P/S To all my friends,I'll be hosting a makan-makan party at my buruk flat this Saturday.To the furthest,please count on Lee & Heaven to makan on your behalf.If only Malaysia is an hour away.But I will not stop you if you insist on getting a first flight to Heathrow tomorrow.We will be thinking of you.