Pneumonia...Hah!!! Hambik Kau Sebijik

I was very reluctant to abandon my chat chat session with Miss Germany & RK. Dua tiga menjak ni sibuk nak mati kat office, adding with persistent cough yang kengkadang rasa nak tercabut paru-paru tu.

I was feeling very poorly on Monday.Call in sick but still buat kerja kat rumah.I tried getting an emergency appointment with my previous GP yang baik hati (that guy signed me off 2 weeks dek Chicken Pox that day). Talipon talipon, receptionist tu kata I dah kena de-registered.Pasalnya, dah pindah rumah tak bagi tau.Ehh, bukanke I dah delegate tanggungjawab membagitahu-membagitahu authority ni kat Si Ketot? Bukannya malas or apa, Si Ketot tu mempunyai PR skills yang amat tinggi.Maklumlah, bekas MACOM Director kat 5 star property.So, it is better her than me.I ni lain sikit.Terlampau practical.Choice of words pun practical.Manalah orang tak takut.

So,tak dapatlah nak jumpa GP.I pon cepat-cepat contact Miss Nigeria suruh dia carik nearest GP to my home address and I suruh dia booking appointment serta merta.Hah..terasa pulak dirini macam Naomi Campbell yang gila kuasa tu.So,dapatlah I register dengan new GP semalam and dapat appointment hari ni.

In my opinion, pengamal-pengamal perubatan kat sini, semuanya trying very hard not to succumb to prescribing drugs semata-mata.They will make you talk about how you feel, every single detail like kalau ada gatal bawah ketiak pun, nak bagitau diorang...bagitau lah.Kalau tak betul-betul sakit cronic, jangan haraplah Doctor nak prescribed drugs.Mau disuruhnya kau balik and rest cukup-cukup, minum air, makan buah..makan pisang...dan sekian-sekian.

My new GP did the same.I told her how I feel.That is I feel well but physically weak.I also told her about my sudden weight loss considering I makan cam babi.Betul you, macam babi.Laparrr aje.Timbang-timbang 59kg.Kira-kira itu ideal weight lah for 5'8 person like moir.Badan takdelah lawa cam Jessica Alba tu...ada gaklah lemak sekeping 2 yang memalukan.So, nak tayang bits and pieces pun rasa awkward.I'm talking about me not having a washboard tummy.

I tell you, I hated feeling like this.Ni semua penangan SIA lah dulu.They have their own grooming officer that is paid officially to watch your figure.So, I cepat panic kalau orang kata I debab.Mulalah aku start berlari kat treadmill for 5 miles.Karen Carpenter kot aku ni? Ataupun pure gilo?

I also told my GP yang I rasa amatlah lemah sekali.Bangun duduk pun tak kena.Check punya check...I was very honest about my antibiotic escapade.Nak tipu-tipu pun, kang tak baik-baik, siapalah yang susah? Aku jugak kan? GP tak marah pun and tanya I if antibiotic yang I curi-curi makan tu ada kesan.I cakap takde.

Check tu, check ini.Blood pressure dari dulu lagi ada problem.Asyik below average aje.The GP raba-raba belakang I.Tanya kalau-kalau I hisrok.I cakap I duduk serumah dgn org-org yang hisrok tak hengat donia.Cemana nak lari dari jadi passive smoker.GP suruh inhale exhale.She told me she heard 'crack' on my chest.Intelligently described for 'flatable' chest.Penuh mucus gittew.GP cakap, kalau first antibiotic tak berkesan,dia nak bagi yang power rangers punya.She also said that this antibiotic (yang dia prescribed for me) is for treating pneumonia.I tanya dia, I ada pneumonia ke? She told me the symptoms explained it but,she hurried me to go to West Middlesex Hospital yang penuh dengan Filipino tu.Buat Xray.My GP pun gunakanlah kuasanya to get me a fast track appointment.

I went and I did.I paid for the antibiotics and now I'm at home, feeling sorry for myself.Disebabkan I ni sebatang kara kat sini, first point of mengadu is kepada Si Ketot tu.Cam Siti Nurhaliza lah pulak...aku meminta pada yang kasihhh...aku merayu pada yang sudi....aku mengaduuuuuu....bla bla bla..

Si Ketot macam rasa tak berdosa je bila I bagitau, part of my chest complications is due to asap rokok yang macam asap Kak Melah Ram or Kak Nita nyanyi kat Puspawarna.The only thing dia cakap, jagalah diri....kita ni dok kat tempat orang.Pastu dia dengan bongkaknya kata I ni tak sakit apa pun.I pun dengan defensive nya jawablah..belum tahu lagi tu.Apalah motive aku cakap camtu?

I kena signed off work for another week.Masalah kat office bertimbun-timbun tapi telah ku kerah Miss Nigeria ittew menghandle nya.The last I spoke to her, she sounded very,very stress.Aku pun cakaplah...hah...sekarang kau rasa apa yang ku rasa.

So,aku ni kepingin nak makan McDonalds.Nak period kot ni...makannnnnn aje.Risau jugak dengan pneumonia-monia ni.Sudirman kan mati kerna ittew? Nurse yang jaga digital imaging department tu,tanya-tanya I lagi..are you sure you're not pregnant? Berkali-kali...sepak kang.Dah lah aku kena catwalk (or bia walk more like) dengan baju ikat belakang pasal nak ambik gambar xray tu.PR skill nurse-nurse yang diimport ni memang takde langsung....buat announcement lak kuat-kuat..don't forget to loose your bra...jantan yang dok depan I pun naik malu.I tak malu pon.Maybe dia malu pasal dia takde bra kot?

Yang aku pulak bangang, out of all day, hari ni lah pulak gatal nak pakai sports bra yang tak harus dipakai bila keadaan darurat camtu.

Anyway, all was well.Result will keluar in 7 days and besok ada major check up lagi.The only good things about NHS ni is all free.Bayar duit ubat aje.Kerajaan Malaysia patut copy bagi free health service.Takyahlah orang-orang Malaysia kena masuk paper mintak derma everytime anak diorang sakit.Kalau Istana Agong boleh buat baru, rumah PM boleh buat baru...takkan orang sakit teruk takleh bantu? Not many can afford private.

It's about time lah Malaysian voters buat demand.Kalau tak, takyah undi.Biarnya merasa.Tengoklah aku...pneumonia-pneumonia pun boleh jadik penghasut lagi.Larikkkk...