Saturdaze

Somebody decided to make a lawatan mengejut kat Twickenham today, only bad timing that I was actually at Finsbury Park, 40 minutes away from where he said he was calling me from. I really should tell him that I am now with someone, some people or more precisely said, jantan ni kenkadang if they think that you're free, they thought that you got nothing better to do or nobody to see. I think JT assumed that I am single and I, orang tak tanya so buat apa susah-susah nak bagitau orang kan? Lagipun, bachelor ( I really mean singleton) can still do the MBA thingy....Married But Available...and life will be so colourful dengan adegan cakar-tumbuk-makihamunan kan?

I asked F if I can go out and meet an old schoolmate, of which (sebab dah berbaik-baik ni, apa aku mintak kasik lah kan) dia bagi dengan senang hati sebab dia pun nak tengok Arsenal game. So, tadi petang, berlangsunglah adegan dating-datingan antara Makji Esah dengan Duda-to-be K kat Old Compton street (motif pilih gay bar for lunch?) I was so impressed dengan kegigihannya nak travel ke Central London today. It was a nice day with good weather with a bright sun (as if aku suka matahari) and ramai betul mamat-mamat naik tube dengan tak pakai baju tayang sic pack diorang, boleh?

He was a bit uneasy when I only opted Chicken Caesar Salad for lunch and I pulak, betul lah tak pakai otak kan...pi cakap kat dia that I have to watch my figure yang dah makin debab sejak balik dari Dublin ni. (Honest truth, last night I ordered Indian takeaway and all content of the cartons gone in 60 minutes, melantak cam tak hengat donia)

Well next time, kalau you all keluar dengan sesiapa yang bersize debab dari you all, janganlah pi cakap kat orang tu yang you nak jaga makan sebab tak nak jadik gemuk, pasalnya, si K tadi terus terasa (hish...macam pompuan lah pulak) yang I kata dia gemuk. Hello ? Okay, how very insensitive of me, but you all meh sini I nak bagitau, I am not good at menyindir orang, I was talking about me...and K, being supersize me nya, terus cakap (meluat I tau dengan adegan-adegan merajuk ni) I tau lah I dah gemuk, tak payahlah sindir-sindir...

Hish...siapa yang sindir you? Kalau dah rasa diri tu gemuk, gemuk lah kan...janganlah makan banyak-banyak. Pergi lah berdiet ke, liposuction ke, hapa ke...furthermore, you obviously happy with your size and jangan lah tiba-tiba nak emosi pulak. Well, if you must know, ini semua kata-kata dalam hati aje. What I actually said to him is that I am talking about me and I don't even realised that he got weight issue (penipu sangat kan I? Yang aku dok mengumpat dia dalam blog ni tak sedar)

And bermulalah kisah-kisah hingga terjadi nya supersize me. K told me that he developed an eating disorder bila dia di dumped oleh kekasih awal dan akhir MRSM nya tu. He lost sight of himself (that would explains it....he lost sight of his body but with clear visibility of food) I corrected him on what he thought was an eating disorder, you turned into comfort eating lah Encik, itu biasalah bila you tengah depressed, ada orang tak lalu makan and ada orang pulak terlalu-lalu pulak makan.The worst bit bila terlalu makan and terlalu pulak lupa exercise, makan badan pun kan menjadik terlalu besar lah kan? K said he was a lot bigger before and now he is losing weight (nak gelak...nak gelak...) and he needs motivation. He was looking in my eyes directly when he says he needs motivation tu, and aku pulak, eyyy, why are you looking at me? I pun makan macam Majlis Perbandaran tau...

I told him that please don't count on his lucky stars for me to be available for a meeting next time round. I told him about my work and how my weekend is sacred. I told him what I think of his new habit, suka-suka turn up and ajak I keluar, not that I am complaining but I really don't want to be in the situation where he merajuk sangat-sangat that day. I told him that I'm sure that he has other people he can pencil in for his next surprise visit.

'But you're different. I wish that we were close before, you're like my missing puzzle'

'What do you mean?' (Masa ni ayam Caesar Salad yang I tengah kunyah tu rasa macam nak tersangkut kat my kerongkong)

'When she left me (he is talking about his first gf) I was messed up big time. I feel suicidal at time and homicidal even...rasa nak pergi bunuh dia, but I can't do much. I met my wife, she was totally a different character and I thought I am going to be happy. But I am not, that frustrates me. I do have friends but they don't relate to me like you do.'

'You should really go out more'

'I don't think I can or I wanted to'

'Yes you can...there's plenty of people that can be your friends, man, woman'

'You understand me'

****Notes, I think K is the one-person person type. Or probably his confidence was shattered badly and this makes his vulnerability rather obvious***

'I take it that I'm the first person you spoken to about your wife'

'I think so'

'There you go, you have been bottling them. I must say I'm honoured that you trusted me but you must acknowledge that you're in some sort of bereavement and you're grieving your loss and to you, people who listen is the one who understands the most'

'I don't think so...is not that I'm in love with her that I kecewa maut...we are divorcing, no one has died' (hamboiii...bongkak nya si Debab ni)

'Bereavement...mourning a loss is not only subjected when people die, but you can also mourn your loss of identity or just anything that have been a part of you or anything than can affect you emotionally.You love her and that is why you married her, maybe she is not the one that you're in love with but your marriage won't happened without love.You have lost that feeling for her, and that is your loss.And you're upset because of it'

'You have reasons for everything'

'I'm only trying to make you realise what you're feeling and not to put blame on yourself or your wife'

'What do you think I should do?' (Classic kan?)

'I can't tell you what to do...what do you want to do?'

'I don't know, I'm so messed up'

'Well, at least you're not trapped in a loveless marriage anymore. I will keep an open mind if I were you.Try not to have expectation'

'But I am lonely'

'Because you're too focussed on your loneliness'

'I have to tell you that I'm happier when I'm talking to you'

'I think what you mean is 'relief' rather than 'happy',of course when you opened up, you feel relieved and when you're relieved, you will actually feel quite happy'

'Eh..you macam dah bosan dengan I aje'

Okay.....now I am convinced that lemak dalam perut dia dah naik sampai ke otak and that causes him the brain dysfunction.How nonsensical.I had to tell him that I am going to be a bit busy over the next two weeks (I keep thinking should I tell him that I'm not as free as he might think) and maybe is not a good idea for him to keep popping out from nowhere.

To make matters worse, he asked 'Will you be going to Beckendonbury for that Merdeka Celebration? I'm going so I wonder if you want to come with me'

Pitammmmmmm.