Post Pukul 3 Pagi

Lapang lah sikit mata...


Let me own up to this disgusting habit : for the past week, I have neglected to kemas my bedroom before coming to work. I’m like burung merpati (dipetik dari kata-kata my father) harapkan muka je cantik (alaa..ye ke, Abah?) tapi tempat diam kotor. Apalah nak jadi kau ni!!!

The thing is, our in house Health Officer, balik KL for 2 weeks, sorting out her harta pusaka, and I'm left with Lou, who is more or less like me, asalkan mata tak sakit or nafas tak semput dek bau busuk, janganlah sakit-sakit kepala nak mencalat-calat rumah bagai. Lagipun, I rather go to the gym. I need the exercise anyway.

So I thought, takpelah. Dah buat plan dengan Lou, bila Makcik Ketot tu dah dekat-dekat nak balik, barulah kami akan start mengemas rumah. Gitulah plan awalnya. Our house certainly have all the peripherals – scourer that 2 of a kind, one for toilet cleaning and one for dapur only, plenty kinds of cleaning materials dari mencuci lantai hinggalah ke mencuci diri (intimate wash uols..) bath sponge thingy, a kain buruk to lap-lap, an array of moisturizers for every part of your body, and like, three tubes of toothpaste, some of which has calcified into stone.

So on Thursday evening, I pun gatal-gatal tangan telefon lah si Makcik Ketot tu kat rumah dia kat Subang Jaya. Buat-buat tanya, eyy, kau dah confirm flight balik ke? Nak tau dia kata apa? Ooi, amik aku kat Heathrow besok kol 6pm, flight MH004.

Short notice tu. Lou pulak, since last Monday, agreed to babysit Amanda punya burung cinonit. Burung tu pulak sundal. Nak kata high class punya keturunan, tak lah jugak, tapi ada attitude. Like, tak boleh bising-bising, nanti dia stress (babi tul, dia cit cit cit cit macam kena rogol bergilir-gilir tu takpe pulak!) Burung ni pulak, lepas makan, suka ludah-ludah. Habis lantai wooden flooring kitorang. Siapa nanti yang kena bersihkan tu, aku jugak kan? Syaitan sungguh!!

I decided to put a stop to all this. Kekotoran rumah that is. Pagi semalam, after I had a good breakfast (Bran Flakes la..kan ke ada masalah susah nak cik yak sekarang) I pun start lah jadik Cinderella 2006, mencuci lantai bagai. Sambil menari-nari ria diiringi kombo RTM pimpinan Destiny Child (My hifi) Masa tu, terasalah diri ni macam penari Maya Studio lah pulak.Ye laa..kenalah ada motivasi sambil buat house chores ni…

I wore my cheeky monkey boxer and baju pagoda (yang I beli kat Seremban’s Giant) looking like ‘orang gaji’ glamour. Our flat is overlooking Redlees Park and jalanraya besar lagi sibuk, especially diwaktu pagi. There’s a traffic lights few yards away and we always have a good view of flashy-flashy cars yang berhenti kat lampu merah tu. As I was dusting my window ledge, a gagak driver put his head out of his window and flashed me that gatal smile. In my hati, kalau BMW 3 series, takpelah, ni bawak Ford Fiesta lama pastu, music dia macam la dia sorang aje kat London ni yang ada massive loudspeaker camtu. Tak kuasa aku. I keep on. Tengoklah Pak Hitam oii, takde nya luak peha I yang sexy ni kat you.After 10 minutes camtu, at the next red lights, another two in lorry Argos Delivery checked me out. Dahle tu bang, hantar jelah barang yang orang order tu. As I climbed up the chair to clean the top bit of the window, a guy seated on the back seat of the top deck 267 bus waiting for the lights to change winked appreciatively, and probably looked up my short (thankfully, I wore nice undies). And just before I finished with both windows, men in a passing lorry made that annoying gesture, fondling his steering and smile like a convicted paedophile.

The hidden fact. The men that I caught ogling me, semuanya kalau tak bawak lorry Argos, is either naik kereta yang kurengs or naik bus. I felt like being sexually harrased from afar. Suddenly, I mind the ‘undressing me with his eyes’ look from them that don’t have flashy cars. I wonder kalau lah yang meng ogle tu Abang-abang Rugby 5 nation, will I still feel harassed ?

I hate to think that this is women common psychology. Bila orang yang ogle kita tu, bangsa yang kita tak berkenan, mulalah kita terasa macam kehormatan diri ni dicerobohi (walaupun tak jadi apa pun sebenarnya) Tapi bila people like Jude Law ke, Usher ke yang memandang or mengusyar-usyar, kita relakan saja kan?

Teringat pulak adegan-adegan Lee kat sawana-sawana tu, bila yang gedebab or yang tak hensem or yang ala cushion-cushion nak merasa, dia buat tepis-tepis lah pulak.Teruk kan kita ni.

Anyway, rumah sempatlah dibersihkan sebelum Liza balik. Because her flight touched down pukul 6pm, I dengan Lou takdelah rushing nak keluar rumah. Ye lah, rumah dgn airport dalam 10 minutes aje. So, traffic campur dengan dungu-dungu atas jalan yang bawak keta slow-slow pastu salah buat turn pasal kena misnavigate dengan satellite navigator diorang, sampailah kami kat Terminal 3 dalam pukul 6.40pm camtu. Malas nak bayar parking, I suggested Lou carik Liza kat arrival hall. Tak jumpa. So, kami pun park lah kereta dan decided untuk tunggu dia depan meeting place tu. Lama jugak nak tunggu dia keluar, considering kapalterbang dah landed pukul 6pm, tapi pukul 7 tak kuar lagi. Last-last, 7.30pm, ternampak lah si Ketot tu. Bila tanya, apsal kau lambat…she said now ni, Immigration ada ruling baru, international visitor ada pulak kena masuk satu bilik, buat medical check up dulu before dibagi masuk London.

Hish..makin kuat pulak hati ni nak tukar ke British Passport tahun depan.

BTW, I tukar my page template. Ni lah padahnya bila makan terlampau banyak (Liza bawak balik rendang) and sekarang mata macam spotlight lah pulak.