About Me

Thursday, July 02, 2009

My Will

Sebab I sedang dalam process nak beli rumah, the bank require that I organise a will for myself. And because I bank with Barclays…I get this service for free…yeehaaaa!!!

So, my will came in the post yesterday. It was as I instructed…canggih ni, instruction via electronic form lak tu. All was okay, they only got my brother’s name wrong. But that is not what reasoned this post.

In my will and testament, I have asked for a body repatriation and a complete muslim burial when I die. And to see all that in writing, sungguhlah menyejukkan tulang belakang.

One thing that I always hope for is that…kalaulah satu hari nak jalan, although perjalanan yang macam ni, tak tahu apa akhirnya…entah-entah lepas rulis ni..tetiba cardiac arrest cam si MJ…sesianya mati kat opis!!! Oopss..kalaulah satu hari I nak jalan..mintak-mintaklah jalan masa dekat-dekat dengan sedara-mara. Senang…hari ni jalan, hari ni jugak tanam. Takyah nak naik kapal terbang, masuk cargo..cargo clearance what not,what not.

One of my senior in MRSM, died in car crash in Wales, together with her twin brother. I remember the look on her parents face when they were receiving her…not to mentioned the postcard that came few days after.I wish that my parents will not have to be in that situation.Seriously.

Bila dah dapat will tu, teringatlah kat diri sendiri yang berdoso godang. After my PBB conference kat Paris…I decided to confront my confusion, well I thought..I played a part jugaklah buat orang terasa hati and being me, I suka cari kesimpulan I sendiri…walaupun prior to that belopuk-lopak lah gak mengumpek kan?

Kalaulah tak kerna ada orang kecik ati dengan I, tak hingin jugaklah nak menyebok.

Sometimes when I am in my consulting room, kebanyakan masalah jiwaraga orang semuanya self-inflicted. Ada orang cepat naik angin, ada orang cepat sensitip…ada orang macam tahu semua (ini adalah saya) and ada orang macam-macam pe’el nya.

Ada orang pulak..tak tahu mana datang..tiba-tiba terus muncul and menjadi bulletin utama.Macam Kiah. Kalau lah kau dok aje diam-diam kat tempat banyak monyet tu kan bagus?

I always believe that if you talk about a problem or a person over and over again, there is something in your mind about them that still linger. I then realised, I was discussing this person a lot. I told my colleague…I keep writing what I thought of this person down until I finally see that the reason I was worried/troubled/unsettled is that I was being misunderstood. Fact is..nobody…dongar yo…nobody likes to be misunderstood..hatta dengan lombu topi jalan sekali pun. (I remember maso I kocik-kocik, I kona koja lombu..that I really think was after my brother yang berkepak merah …he was wearing t-shirt superman yang ado kopak kat belakang tu…tak pasal-pasal, aku lak yang kena)

As I get older, it is important for me to express myself as clear as I can….walaupun orang kata ni cakap direct. Cik..cakap kenalah direct…takkan nak berjual beli pantun lak..ingat apa..ni Pesta Pantun Sekolah Sekolah Malaysia tahun 1990 ke? I was a quiet child when I was little and for that I was bullied. So now, when something feels amiss, I feel the need to speak up.

Inadvertently, I have upset this person…not that I care, but it is my responsibility to tell them that, you have upset yourself by misunderstanding me…so it is up to you to clear your own head. I am still what I am.

However, I applaud those who vent their anger to release the frustration…you have got to find away to release that bad energy.It is better that than playing victim. Don’t misunderstood venting anger as dispensing maki hamun ye…tak baik. Tapikan..kalau orang tak mendengar kata..memang nak merasa sangat kena hamun kan?

All in all, I am glad I have cleared my air….tapi mana yang masih dalam list musuh ketat tu…dok lah kau kat situ diam-diam.

Tarrraaa people.

1 comment:

captlukman said...

hahahahaha kannnnnnnn??? Kannn janet kan...some of us are easy to channel their anger w/o feel guilty dengan org yang nampak boleh dimakan, cuba kene makan? Mau terkucit lari sambil berteduh-teduh...

makji kalau ada yg lebih pastikan nama ku jua masuk dlm will itteewww..hehehe doakan mu pjg umur sokmo kawan ku