Update

Knowing how slow I work, this entry is most likely to be published after NY's day. Much to Kiah annoyance lah...pasal hapdate tak ikut date. But which one do you actually prefer, Kiah? Ada hapdate ke, tiada hapdate? See?

MB's is already out ber NY party. I just got in from work. I have been working for the last 27 hours non-stop.Biasalah...bila full moon, maka working hours pun menjadi full lah jua. It is just unfortunate that I don't have a normal hours of work. That's what happen when you work with people. Sebagaimana air bah...dan pantai pun berubah. Bukannnya reti Xmas ke, NY day ke..the only thing that made it bearable ialah double pay nya. So the whole day work paid for that canggih DSLR camera...(yang aku masih belum reti nak guna...camno tu?)

I don't really know what to make of 2009. I suppose it is good. Sama aje lah..I like to think. I made friends...I removed friends.I got caught up dalam perperangan yang tak membawa makna...I upset people through what I wrote...(so what...read at your own risk lah kan?) Work wise berjuta kali I cakap kat diri sendiri that I had enough of trying to make sense of a nonsense...pun I masih kat sini, trying to understand the beauty of god special creation.

I just read the news about anak Chef Wan yang akan kahwin besok. The tajuk is so gempak...majlis 'tercemar' dek takde MC. What lah? Takkan lah takde MC majlis terus tercemar kot? Lainlah macam Eastenders (the latest episode) orang dah susah payah organise kenduri kahwin, tup tup pengantin lelaki pi cakap kat mak dia yang dia tu Cik Gayah and selama beberapa bulan kebelakangan ni dah ada affair dengan another man, besides dating this girl. Tu lah baru betul tercemar nya, kan? Setakat takde MC majlis berinai (wehhh...since when pulak berinai ada majlis-majlis ni?) apalah sangat?

I'm sure every girl in the world wouldn't want Chef Wan as a father, especially time-time nak kahwin ni...we sure can imagine how desperately mental he can be, wanting to be overly perfectionist, of course at his daughter's expense, if I may say. Dua majlis berinai...nikah sinim sanding sana...sanding nombor 2,3,4,5 kat sini sinun. Weh...bila lah masa nak enjoy kan? Tu belum masuk duit yang dah habis tu. Some may say..alaaa...biarlah, duit bapak dia berlambak. But berbaloi kah nak menunjuk?

Of course he is proud. He got what he wants. She listened to him (he must have made life hell for her with all the guilt trip) Dulu dia tak suka Animosen tu...he made it very public, sampaikan orang kat London pun tahu. I read about him doing all this (the wedding preparation) as a gesture of a good citizen, to promote Malaysian Culture to the in laws. I'm sure the Irish lot will appreciate the barrels of Guinness than his Moroccan theme kenduri.

But all the best to the couple...with bapak and bapak in law like him.

Then this thing about celebrity yang pergi clubbing, nasib malang that place pulak kena raid and he had to provide his urine sample. So this suratkhabar punya columnist (alah..those yang goes with such pseudonym Mak Intan, or Benang Emas etc etc...ke hapa nama nya) start lah kondem...ni lah dia celebrity dah rasa terlampau glamour, suka benar berembun kat tempat-tempat camtu. I tak tau since when pulak journalist dah bertukar menjadi moral-police. Bagi pendapat tu okay lah...but bukannya orang tu buat party bogel Hugh Hefner ke apa. So adik-adik mana yang bercita-cita nak jadik celebrity, do think hard. Sebagai artis, adik-adik hanya musti pergi kenduri cukur jambul baca marhaban aje tawww? Jangan pergi clubbing...nanti reporter tulis dalam suratkhabar.

Cerita artist yang gajah depan mata pun masih tak nak mengaku pun ramai jugak..kan? Ada yang berchenta..tapi tak ngaku..tup-tup kena tangkap basah. Bila dah kena tangkap basah, masa bini mintak cerai, pandai pulak buat-buat adegan padayappa keluaq ayaq mata depan Tok Kadi nah? Pastu..dah le bergambar mesra-mesra, statement masih lagi tak ngaku yg dia dah dok bercanda dipasiran pantai. Baru nak kenal hati budi lah kononnnn...eish..ngaku lah aje kan? Ada tu pulak...tak ngaku dah kawin...saya tak hensem untuk dia lah...cerita nikah tak benar lah..tup tup..dah kawin.Cakap aje lah..ye, saya nak kawin dgn pompuan muda lagi bergetahhh...so, ada masalah ke?

Kesimpulannya, year in year out...perangai kita tetap sama. I can say that I nak berenti mempropaganda benda-benda takde moral dalam blog ni...tapi, boleh menjadi ke resolution nak kembali kejalan benar ni?

I nak berenti tulis benda yang mengecikkan hati orang..tapi, what will guarantee the fact that orang memang cepat kecik ati anyway? I selalu cakap..kalau kita terasa, makna nya betul lah apa yang dikata orang, so apalah nak kecik ati nya pun?

Semalam ada sorang patient I cakap...you're in the wrong job. You can't even do this properly. And this guy even made his feelings known to the other officers as well. I pun cakap dengan dia...well, I appreciate that. Why don't you show me how to do it? Terus dia terkebil-kebil. I pun sambung balik, I take it that you're not sure how to. So, why don't you just let me get on.

So kepada yang kecik ati...teruskan lah berkecik ati. Kepada yang berpura-pura innocent tapi telah berjaya menjadi unggun api...pandai-pandai lah sedar diri dan mengaku kesilapan nah?

Wishing you all a great year ahead.

Entry Hati Panas

Facebook has begin to annoy me more today....with my friend starting to meghoyan dalam inbox. Her attitude in the mailbox thread has now subsequently making friends reunited (via Facebook) a bad idea.

Dah le sessi berjumpa kawan lama ni tak berapa seronok, nak pulak dicampur dengan anxiety-anxiety tak perlu. But let me tell you this, never be envious of MRSM punya alumni laa...nak nak batch I. Apart from large population yang dah ada PHD, small population yang tengah buat PHD (jgn nak jobo lah hah..you pun belum pass lagi..BTW, I'm not talking about you ye..Cik Ayam Belanda oiii) apalah sangat glamour nya Friends Reunited Versi MRSM ni?

I lebih bangga bersekolah kat Convent Somban lagi kalau nak dibandingkan dengan sekolah yang satu lagi tu.

This lady...kawan I lah ni...(meghoyan lah lagi harus kau ku remove dengan senang hati nya) masa sekolah dulu, nak kata rapat sangat tu tak ada lah...but her katil and my katil kira macam berjiran and dia ni rajin baca buku atas katilnya that everytime I or orang lain nak salin baju, we have to ask her to look away.I tell you, I ni mega pemalu....nak strutting berkain dalam dengan bra dalam dorm pun takut-takut even mandi pun tak pernah mandi ramai-ramai okeh? My skill mengikat kain kemban adalah sangat lemah and kalau tak kena gaya...harus melambak kain tu jatuh. I must say that...although I ni pompuan melayu terakhir...but I don't do kain batik or any kain yang sewaktu dengannya. There's goes ciri-ciri bini mithali kan, Desert Rose? Ye lah..buatnya ada immediate request dari laki kan ke senang kalau berkain batik?

So balik kembali kepada this lady yang minah study ni. She likes to label herself a Minah Rock (tapi dalam walkman ada lagu Kau Kunci Chenta ku...errk?) and her T-Shirt sure ada gambar gitar-gitar puaka yang runcing-runcing tu. She told us off when we fooled around, katanya kami-kami yang main pukul-pukul dengan towel good morning ni adalah immature sungguh.Tapi bila kitorang nak escape ikut jalan longkang, pandai pulak dia pesan beli nasik lemak kan?

Because dia dah bersusah payah melabel dirinya sebagai Minah Rock, she made others think that she is into hard stuff like Anchor Beer and drugs. Siapalah dia punya supplier aku pun tatau...but MRSM tahun 1990, takde yang innocent, okay? Here's the thing...kalau orang tu dok kompang dia tu into this ke, into that ke...it is very likely yang dia tu hanya kelabu asap aje.

Because of that, she is so unpopular among kami-kami yang kekanak riang ni. But dia senyap-senyap selalu mintak tolong I buat ringkasan karangan dia. And her vulnerability terserlah. Idok le dia brutal sangat.

After SPM, we went separate ways. I don't think she went to any Uni. But our path crossed when I returned home from studies. Masa ni dia dah jadi PA. Her opis and the bank I buat practical sebelah menyebelah and we regularly see each other. Masa ni dia dah jadik feminin gila (she has been but status Minah Rock buatan sendiri nya tu telah mengaburi sifat-sifat keibuan itu)

So that was many,many moons ago.

So now...in her FB profile, she is back at calling herself Minah Rock, Brutal and what have you. She got in touch with us (community yang telah sedia ada FB) and is excited about the prospect of meeting us back. When she learned about the purpose of my short visit this coming month, terus dia dengan tak malu (and takde sifat keibuan, ke kakakan etc,etc) terus buat announcement yang I kena jemput dia datang kenduri. Leh....

Now that she found out that my other mate is coming, terus lagi dia meghoyan and terus announce, count me out of the reunion. Katanya, I tak invite dia but invite sorang budak lagi ni. Pastu dia buatlah statement yang I dah lupa kat kawan (for not inviting them..I suppose?) and this poor mate of mine yang dapat jemputan had to explained herself and her invitation. Tak ke macam sial tu?

I nak aje sound dia...but mengenangkan perbuatannya itu adalah sangat bodoh (let's see...kalau org dah tak respond, buat apa kau nak menghoyan lagi kan? Didn't you get it?) I buat diam aje. I continue talking to my other friends and blanked her stupid ranting completely.

Her behaviour somehow affected me...so dalam keadaan masih tak puas hati...I confide lah kat my fren ni...I tanya lah..I ni kurang ajar ke sebab tak jemput orang datang umah my parents? Or dia tu yang perangai cam puaka meghoyan tak pasal depan orang?

I don't think I am, kan? Kiah...kita boleh ke jemput orang datang bukan kenduri kawin kita? I tanya budak Rembau yang pandai tu..dia kata hanya tuan rumah or organiser aje boleh extend the invite, so I tak salah lah kan?

Cissss.....(BTW, Minah Rock ni berasal dari Rembau. There you go..Paroi 3..Rembau 0...)

Kenapa Ku Takde Laki

Never have I thought that I will see the day where Kiah will blatantly ask....kenapa I takde laki? Kiah, like my any other cool friends, has transformed into Makcik and alike makcik bibir juih kat Kampung Paroi tu, year in year out forever awarded such liberty to shoot that question.

I have to assume Kiah, just like any other happily married (phuek, phuek) women nak le tahu kenapa I ni yang rupa dah ada, gheta makan tak abis macam I ni..masih gak nak bersolo-solo an...(weh..siapa kata aku solo ye?)


Well....what can I say? Nak kata serik...apa yang serik nya? Hati kuciwa dengan laki tu memang ada. Sebagai wanita melayu terakhir..cita-cita tu memanglah nak kawin dengan si chenta hati tapi kalau si chenta hati pun treated us like Argos catalogue, pilih mana yang dia berkenan pastu lupa dengan janji-janji Muniandy dia kat kita, what chance do we have in hoping for happy ending?


Sheila Majid's song says it all....usah engkau memaksakan keatas ku tiap pilihan...etc..etc. I don't know what a life with a man is like. Ni yang bangsa dopopat jam tengok muka dia..dengar cakap dia..cukup bulan jumpa sedara mara dia. When you married..you are obliged to dengar cakap laki. Knowing me...jangan kata cakap laki, cakap diri sendiri pun I takmau dengar. Other women often say...your laki will be your pelindung. Hmm....I ni takut ular..takut anjing...and most jantan yang I kenal pun..sama gak penakut nya.


What do we actually hope to achieve, Kiah oiii? Complete marital status ke or nak bagi makcik-makcik mulut puaka kat Kampung Bongek tu syaddapppp once and for all?


My now-not-so-jobo cousin used to tell me yang dia nak kawin cepat pasalnya dia nak beranak dengan cepatnya. Her intention that time is merely to menunjuk-nunjuk kat aku ni yang dia tu dah dipinang dek anak buah Undang. So..she is well on her way to a complete adulthood....and to her, I am remained tak laku lah kononnya. Well.....kesudahnya, anakbuah undang tu main konda-kondi belakang dia and they putus tunang. She then bertemu jodoh dengan laki dia yang sekarang..and the campaign of kawin cepat beranak cepat pun start lah balik. In her kenduri kahwin (as any other my close relatives kenduri kahwin) I was made known to the fellow attendees yang I ni masih solo. So that information is a great ammunitions for the makcik-makcik pembasuh kawah and pemotong bawang bergossip sakan. God helped them, nasib baik lah makcik-makcik ni is a kenduri kahwin sukarelawan,kalaulah mika-mika tu makan gaji...harus ku pecat masa tu jugak (ehk..bilalah aku jadi majikan ni?)


See, I ni dah puas kena tohmah. Tohmah simpan kekasih gelap lah...kekasih tak berapa gelap lah...ish! But the tohmah never came directly to me but one time, adik I bertumbuk dengan one of our relative and from what I heard, si budak tu buat cerita pasal I. So si adik I yang boleh tahan lah panas barannya ni (he was only 12...) pi tumbuk budak tu sampai patah gigi nya. Dah le datang rombongan pi kutuk my mother yang kiranya orang luar ni. Tak pandai jaga anak kononnya...


Berbalik kepada tujuan berlaki tu sebab nak beranak...ye lah, ada tukang, ado lah anak eh kan? Tu kalau nasib you baik lah dapat anak dua tiga butir, buatnya 2,2 pun mandul? Tak ke laki kau yang kau cingtahi tu lajuuuuu je nak kawin lain nak buat anak alasannya? Tu kalau jantan, dapat lah buat alasan cam tu kan? Kalau kau pompuan pulak dapat laki yang bajanya baja taik ayam yang takde makna tu (harapkan busuk aje) boleh kau buat statement nak cari laki lain? POMMM!!!! Kau dikutuk 8 keturunan. My cousin yang kompang kata kat I yang I ni akan rugi pasal tak kawin and tak dapat beranak cepat tu....kesudahnya after 10 tahun baru dapat beranak sorang...hah kau. Umur Dah baya I, anak baru boleh bercakap. Tu lah dia berlagak tak bertempat!


Kiah said...a husband satisfy the wife gratification...mental and sexual. Well, I supposed since you pun dah berlaki...gunakanlah gundak mu (as oppose to gundik) ittew. It is good to share interest...in bed. Good know that you and your husband have that one thing in common...but what I don't understand, bagi, bagi jugak...pahtu yang kutuk laki/tipu bini tak habis-habis tu apa makna nya? I once questioned..them jantan yang nak bercerai dengan bini..kononnya tak chenta, but chenta tak chenta pun..bini mengandung jua. One may say, itu kewajipannya. Yeah...but throwing yourself in bed kan ke memerlukan perasaan suka sama suka?


I just come out from an 8 year relationship that is akin to marriage. Do I like it? At times, yes. Ada orang nak ajak berborak...nak tengok TV sesama...tukang belikan barang bila I tak sempat gi kedai. But we both are such a headstrong people that neither will and like to back down.Entering a marriage means one should be ready to lods of changes...in opinion, in lifestyles, in interests and banyak lagi benda.

I have hope. But I cannot guarantee that I will be this nice, obidient wife yang akan mencium telapak kaki lakinya. I cannot be the type yang menjeruk jiwa raga...sosek-sosek kat Facebook pi kata laki tak memahami etc,etc. I am likely to tell him how it is and menunjuk perasaan bila perlu.


I like to go places and meeting people when I feel like it and not when I have to or obliged to. The ideal man would be yang anak yatim piatu..but, what is the percentage of the availabilities?


The job I am in now, exposed me to loads of men with inherited problems...some self-inflicted. Kesimpulannnya..jejaka yang mempunyai kimia yang tidak seimbang adalah lebih banyak dari pompuan-pompuan meghoyan lepas beranak.But that is not my excuse.


Jawapan kepada soalan whether or not I ni tahan....umur dah macam ni, tahan lah.If I am asked this question 10-12 years ago pun jawapannya ialah tahan jugak. I'm not sure if once kita dah kahwin..then life will be harder without a partner. If so, that might justify the question of ketahanan.


I am alone...all the time, so...kalau ada, adalah. Kalau takde...tak ada lah. Kan ke hati ini telah dilukai, Kiah oii?

Boxing Day in Oxford Street

Wehhh uols...kerana ke stress an dengan kengkawan baru terbit dari Facebook tu, dengan tak semena-mena nya, I buat plan nak pergi shopping Boxing Day semalam...boleh Kiah? (Masih kecik ati ke dengan aku? Rugi...tak merasalah kau makan mince pie, Prawn Cocktails Walkers Crisps nanti pompuan oiii) --------------->Facebook bad, or people in Facebook bad? Cam cilaka kat atas tu? Dianya yang sah-sah makan babi, kita lak dipanggil nya babi.Lanciawwww tul!

Semenjak I menjejak kan kaki tangan kat tanah UK tahun 1991 ni...adalah 2 ke 3 kali aje I pergi shopping hari boxing day ni. I ni bukan apa uols, bak kata orang Paroi Jaya, tak koso den nak bejimpit-jimpit...menyosak an nyawo yo. I rela menjadi drebar hantar orang pergi shopping dari disuruh shopping.Walaupun iklan-iklan kat TV yang sungguh menggiurkan suruh orang pergi perabis duit kat Oxford Street dan area-area yang sewaktu dengannya, I lebih rela makan koci kat rumah, boleh?

Tapi semalam...tah hapa mimpinya, I sanggup bangun pepagi buta, naik bas lompat-lompat sampai Oxford Street nun. Tujuannya, nak beli present untuk adik jantan I tu...tapi bila sesampainya I kat situ, I terus taktau nak beli hapa untuk dia...plus, kalau I belikan dia benda yang dia paling suka, maka Amma pulak akan kata...kenapalah kau galakkan adik kau tu. See...my brother tu memang feeling dialah jejaka pembawa kereta yang paling laju dalam Paroi tu. 4 tahun lepas, besday dia...I tanya, ko nak apa? Dia cakap dia nak sport rim. So, I ingat ni macam inncocent lah..jantan suka mekap-mekap kereta. So sebagai kakak yang mithali...I bayarkan benda yang dia nak tu. 2 minggu lepas tu, my auntie yang mulut puaka tu datang London, pi kompang kat I....kau ni goma nyusah kan ati omak kau. I pun..ehk..apo lak? Lopeh adik kau dapek sporim yang dio nak ondak an tu (tu dia org Paroi nak skipping sangat kan..SPORRIM kato eh) kemain laie deh...geh cilako dio membawak keto eh. Takut omak kau...(cakap ni sambil menjuih-juih mulut dia) Pulak tu my auntie boleh sambung...dio tu..agak eh..dah berlanggar sok..patah tulang, putuih palo eh..baru lah nak soda tu. (Cesss...mulut dia cibai sungguh kan...ada ke dia mintak adik aku sampai putuih kepala?)

Tup-tup...after 2,3 weeks after dia cakap camtu...my auntie yang kuat masin ni..sampai kena darah tinggi lah dek goma eh makan garam, memang my brother tu xcident. Although, idokle mati ke putus kepala....but enough to made my mom susah hati sampai tak lalu makan lah. So, sebagai tanda protest, I memang tak pernah bagi lagi dia birthday present, melainkan mobile phone saja.

So, there I was at Oxford Street...cadangnya nak beli present, kesudahnya I beli present untuk diri I senirik. Ye...in 2 weeks, I'll be 37 and dari tahun lepas, tengok orang lain ada DSLR camera, I pun nak jugak..walaupun I bukannya gheti nak pakai. But, sebagai pengidap penyakit mental yang semi-serious, the autistic side of the brain kata...go and get the DSLR.Dengan bantuan sang expert...dia tanya, Kak Ji, you nak camera jenis apa? I cakap...ok..tammo brand SOMI or KENON, nak brand yang lain sikit. And si expert lah yang tukang pilih camera tu. Ada yang besar macam mak kucing, macam tak practical pulak kan? So, I pun pilih lah yang murah, memandangkan I ni pun kedekut nak mampus. Si expert kata, memang brand I yang baru beli ni brand yang bukan jenis lap kaki macam KENON dengan SOMI tu. Kesimpulannya..camera orang Doha dgn orang Hull..adalah confirmed termasuk dalam catergory lap kaki tahap 91. Teksiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Selepas dah masuk tengahari....orang pun semakin ramai kat Oxford Street. Ramainya orang melayu (termasuk lah I) yang membawak anak-bini masing-masing shopping. Ada jugak film director Bollywood nak buat shooting depan kedai NEXT tengah-tengah orang bersesak-sesak tu. Weiii bodoh! Ni sure nak tunjuk kat orang kampung nya yang dia dah sampai Oxford St...siap ambil footage video bagai. Dahle video camera dia sama besar dengan dia...sure dia beli tahun 1980 kan?

But all and all, I am quite pleased. Disebabkan takde orang nak belikan I birthday present, maka..I kenalah beli birthday present I sendiri. So sekarang...semua yang I nak dah dapat. Laki je takde. Soal nya..I nak ke berlaki?

(OLD) Friends (Must NOT) Reunited

Xmas is over for some...but baru semalam, we get to celebrate the proper one dalam rumah baru I.(Wehh..lu pehal Makji, celebrate, celebrate Xmas?) So, memandangkan tahun lepas I telah disindir dengan jayanya oleh beberapa anonymous-anonymous comments sebab menyambut Xmas, all I can say is that..raya cina, Deepavali dan hari Natal pun saya sambut jua masa duduk di Malaysia. Saya kan duduk dalam kandang ayam belanda...so, takkan lah saya nak menerapkan nilai Taliban pulak kan?

Kita ni gemar benar memberi peluang supaya kepala hotak kita dikontrol oleh orang. Ingat lagi...dulu masa puak-puak Bosnia kena serang dek tah sesapa (or is it the Serbians?) kita pun mulalah nak jadi champion matriarch, hangkut segala budak2 Bosnia bawak masuk Malaysia and mengutuk Serbia sehabis-habisnya. Tapi ada orang Malaysia yang susah..kais pagi makan pagi (or..ada jugak kan orang Msia stil kais pagi makan pagi kat Central London?) tak rajin pulak kita nak tolong? From what I heard, bebudak Bosnia yang kita tolong tu cam lahanat jugak lah perangai diorang..prompting such comments (obviously dari mulutku yang puaka ni) ohh..you deserved what's coming your way..

Then came the obsession with hating the Israelis. Ada yang sampai tak nak join pesbuk pun. Lehh...tapi Starbucks boleh lak masuk hari-hari kan? Susah betul para anti semitic tak tentu pasal ni.Nak kata Datuk nenek dia ex-Auswitcz ke lain lah kan? Glamour kot jadi anti-yahudi ni. Macam separuh orang putih lah...dah tak suka OBL, habis other Muslims pun kena. Kalau you nak anti puak Zionist tu, tak payahlah nak benci-benci orang Yahudi lain lak kan? Apa lah you...nak rebel...tapi tak tau punca.

Dua 3 hari ni hati ku macam panas semacam aje (walaupun cuaca amatlah sejuk nya) Ada kata-kata yang bangang dalam pesbuk yang dikeluarkan oleh kawan-kawan yang..maybe semenjak umur dah banyak pun dah jadi bangang juga.Tapi sesedapnya mulut I nak panggil orang bangang ni, pun I terpikir juga...orang yang bangang ke aku yang jahat/sombong/bongkak/lupadiri etc, etc?

Couple of weeks ago..me and my new found schoolfriends membuat perjumpaan. They said...eii Makji..you choose the place lah. Kononnya I ni kan UK veteran (kepala hotak kau) so I must know nice places. They must have a goldfish memory me thinks. I was never the outgoing one.So, although I ni dah dok lama kat sini...kalau nak cari places of interest pun I kena google dulu.3 of my friends ni is a PHD students now in the UK. (So..ingat ye Cik Adik...bukan awak sorang aje. So Kalau I kutuk budak PHD, it is likely to be this 3) In total there's 5 of them. 2 lagi kat up north nun. 2 in Reading and one kat London aje. Budak 3 orang ni masa sekolah memanglah set-set yang pandai dan famous. Apalah sangat nak dibanding dengan aku ni Kiah? But rezeki orang lain-lain. While the 3 (and another 2) dah memilih jalan hidup yang lurus, I pulak memilih jalan ke Tanjung Moktan. The first impression is always...I have no idea you're into this! Sakit betul hari I mendengar nya.

Mind you..this is not a paranoid me talking..but had I am with another me, I surely asked..when you say 'into THIS' what do you mean exactly? But I diam saja.Senyum-senyum. Nak tunjuk pandai...kita pulak tak pandai.

I just hope I never see this 3 again...and I am very sure, I am now their subject of kata-mengata, as they are to me now.

Ada pulak sorang kawan...nak buat reunion bila I balik KL nanti. Dah lah set-set ni sekarang nak panggil diri memasing tu Mummy Mama, yang sorang tu pulak dok mengata laki and stress dok kat umah tak abis-abis. I joined in their jokes..and what I get was 'ei..mulut Minah London ni boleh tahan'. I'm not sure what to make of that...aku ke bercakap kasar..or they have all now transform into Makcik-makcik perasan bagus?

Ada yang sorang ni pulak...pi kompang-kompang ala-ala merengek mintak dijemput datang kenduri.The funny thing is, dia idok le tanya direct dengan I..but spread it on her wall...dengan kata-kata mega puaka..eh..apasal dia (aku lah ni) tak nak jemput kita datang rumah dia eh?

Here I am thinking....boleh ke kita jemput orang datang rumah yang bukan kita punya? And..tak ke kau rasa yang kalau orang tak jemput tu, makna nya memang dia tak nak tengok muka kau lah kan? So, buat apa tetanya lagi?

See...I am never a big fan of friends reunited. Some of us (aku) has grown into some sort of kononnya supra-national. We hardly the 16-17 year old that we was...where we don't tolerate stupidity and think that we are the world greatest. This girl was once quite nasty to me...and when I was 16-17, when I don't really know how to stand up for myself (ke malas nak gaduh) and now..how on earth she can came up with comments like..owh..lamanya tak jumpa..teringat time-time masa kita tengah having fun kat sekolah dulu kan? Nak aje I tanya, bilanya? Kau tak ingat ke yang kau tell me off kat bilik prep tu?

I want to write more...but I nak berak pulak...

Kinabatangan and Kelantan

It made it to the headlines that Pakcik Kinabatangan ni tengah bergerek dengan Zizie Ezette. Adakah aku kenal dengan Zizie Ezette ni, Kiah? nama macam pernah dengar...I think was she the one yang masa tu berchenta tak hengat dengan penyanyi hensem Cassie Seribu Impian tu?


On the opposite, that Kinabatangan guy, made famous by being a neanderthal in parliment. I wonder what on earth that made this sort of man very appealing to a woman. Dah le tak hensem. Kaya pun dek jadi politician..kalau tak meniaga getah sekerap lah hang, kan?

For a politician yang kununnya berkhidmat untuk rakyat ni, pakcik ni ada masa pulak pi usyar si aktress and to keep up with her, did some modernisation on himself i.e. kaler rambut bagai. I bet you on top of that Pakcik sure lah memakan macam-macam jamu and menghapal all that ayat pemanis muka and penguat jentera (memandai lah I pun...)

Of course both will not comment openly about their relationship. Pakcik tu kata..dia tak cukup hensem for her..and she in return..being kononnya dignified in passing the ball back in his court..that such comments should come from the man. I applaud her sensitivity around sidianya yang dah berbini but weh, Zizie...kalau ia pun chenta tak mengenal usia, reta benda and marital status, surely you pun lawa dari I and Kiah...and apalah salahnya kejelitaan you tu digunakan untuk memancing para-para bujangan yang berharta?

But if they said so, its JODOH..jodoh lah kan...nak buat cemana? (Psssttt...Hello Raja Nazrin...) but I'm sure Zizie can do better than that...carilah yang hensem sikit.

*******************************************************************

Well, the luck must have been in TT side...dah lah dia berjaya menyuruh bininya kembali taat (ye lah...) the court also allow him to recoup back the money he gifted her. Tetiba pulak bila orang tu dah melawan..terus jadi hutang ye? So the Kelantan Royal household encourage the practise of buruk siku lah gaya nya. Dah kasi tu..kasi aje lah...I'm sure there's plenty more from that money came from. I suppose he has the rights...so good for him. Kalau dah kawin bertahun and had he be the one yang reject dia I'm sure all the hutang will not be quoted.

More so...bukan duit kau pun TT oiii. Alangkah sakitnya hati kita when shown pictures and articles of the rich and famous expecially all royal household. You would think that they are so rich from their allowance so pepandailah ambik health insurance ke hospital plan ke, and takpayahlah nak tunggu kerajaan negeri bayar. Why wait for the government to pay? Majority of the taxpayer are poorer than the Kerabat diraja. The Royals can buy almost anything...bagi present juta-juta...kereta hilang pun sure tak nangis punya.Kita ni duit £20 tercicir ke, salah letak ke sure sakit hati berminggu-minggu.

Now ni, TT dah nak melawan pulak the Tengku Mahkota. Perlu ke? Kau tu bukannya anak sulung pun. I wonder if adalah Raja yang dapat anak kembar, sure berebut nak naik takhta kan? I wonder why some people yang hidup dah senang takde orang kacau...masih lagi nak mencari susah diri. Kalau I jadi you..I dok dendiam dalam istana and bila orang panggil makan kenduri and potong reben..kita pergi aje lah kan?

Lagipun, kan ke bapak masih sakit? Tak baik tawwwww...bergaduh adik beradik.

Kenapa Aku Hanya Kawan ?

Thanks for all the generous comments from you all on my previous posting. Ada beberapa persoalan yang ditanya yang perlu dijawab..tapi tunggulah dulu nah? Ada benda dalam kepala dan dalam hati yang lebih mustahak yang perlu dikeluarkan dengan kadar beberapa segera ni..kalau tak mau sakit jiwa dibuatnya.

I think I have written (if not) about the good and bad about meng 'google' kekasih lama. I tak lah meng 'google' mamat ni...sebab, dianya pun idoklah glamour sangat sampai boleh ter listed dalam google search. So atas bantuan FB search..I pun sesaja lah mulanya ni..pi search nama dia. Tup-tup..keluar gambar..keluar info.

Sebelum I bercerita dengan lebih lanjut tentang mamat ni...(yang I tak pernah cerita dengan orang) perlulah dingat ye Kiah..just because of this, does not make me a slapper (tetiba lak kan?) So in between few 'transgressions', terselitlah mamat ni.

To begin with, he was pursuing my flatmate. I pulak masa ni baru ditinggal siamang githoo and of courselah ala-ala baru kena cerai, I hanya dok menonton dinding kat rumah aje. This guy suka kat my flat mate, tapi my flatmate masa ni sungguhlah bercita-cita tinggi so dia idoklah melayan sangat mamat ni. Layan tu, layan lah jugak but after few dates agaknya minah ni rasa mamat ni macam tak seswai dengannya, terus dia macam tak layan..and berambus pi States buat master dan meninggalkan jantan ni terkapai-kapai githoo. Dalam pada dia terkapai-kapai, kat apartment I jugaklah dia datang melepak mengadu nasibnya.

We became quite a close friend, so bila I nak service kereta I akan mintak tolong dia...or bila I nak fly jauh-jauh, dia jugaklah akan tolong tengok-tengokkan our apartment, any errands that man can handle semuanya ku bagi kat dia.

Because I pun dah kuciwa berchenta masa tu..I idoklah nak nak mencari penyakit mencari jantan lagi, but now and again, I accepted banyaknya invitation nak keluar bersama githoo. But with this guy, we are just strictly friends sampai bertahun-tahun lama nya.

There was times where I macam terasa aje dia syok kat I..tapi dia tak pernah cakap pun. So sebagai pompuan melayu terakhir aku pun idoklah nak menanya. I never told him about siamang...and also all those men I went out with in rebound.

But after a while, hari kecil ni macam terasa lah jugak..lama dah I kawan dengan dia..and dia ni macam baik aje tak pernah mengambik kesempatan..and I can really tell that he cares, so I thought..I should just gave him a chance. So..we went out quite regularly and he took to meet his adik beradik yang ended up being very friendly with me. Tapi masalah nya..dia tak pernah cakap kat I yang dia syok kat I..walaupun ke attentive an dia tu..sungguhlah menusuk kalbu, Kiah oi.

So..macam menunggu buat deghoyan nak gugur...I sungguh berasa serba salah. Macam buah durian..kalau gugur lambat ambik, orang curi. Kalau tunggu bawah pokok jatuh atas kepala, mau mati kan?

In the end, agaknya I dah terasa macam I pulak yang lebih-lebih mengharap macam pungguk, I decided to play it cool and buat-buat tak heran kat dia.

Agaknya dia pun terasa and one day..he called me and ajak I pi makan...and katanya ada hal penting nak cakap.Masa ni lah dia confessed dia sebenarnya lama dah syiok kat I..tapi katanya dia tak berani nak commit sebab dia berpenyakit katanya. I thought...ohh so touching.

But sebagai seorang Capricorn yang maha practical...I pikir, patutkah aku menunggu until you sort out yourself? I pun naive semacam idok la tanya dia sakit apa. Terminal ke...ada harapan ke nak baik. Pikir-punya pikirrr...nah..I have wasted so much time. So I decided to re-distant myself from him. Even dia hantar email tanya khabar tun I akan jawab dengan sarcastic nya..until I berambus datang UK and never heard from him again. Ye lah kan..dah takde jodoh..although, I am quite fond of him.

When I saw his profile...I send him a quick message...'you still look the same'. Hantar satu..balas 4 you.....

Kegatalan tangan in addition to my curiosity..pi lah tengok album orang tu nah? Wah..dah berbini dan empat anaknya.

Tetiba..............patutnya kita gumbiralah kan berjejak kasih dengan kawan lama.Tak!!! I jadi sakit ati pulak. Dulu, alasan dia tak nak dengan I sebab berpenyakit katanya.

Am I that bad and ugly that he had to used that as an excuse to repelled me?!

Satu hari suntuk I bad mood you......

Update

I have a friend yang dah berlaki dan beranak enam. So her Facebook status updates meriah dengan cerita-cerita anak-anak dia. Anak dia buat tu...anak dia buat ni. If only Facebook was invented jaman I kecik-kecik dulu, I'm not sure what my Mum status updates will be about us.

Anak nombor satu...malas pergi sekolah...

Anak nombor dua...cikgu bagi report dok termenung aje dalam class...(aku le ni..Kiah)

Anak nombor 3,4 & 5..hari ni main pengantin-pengantin..habis mekap, kain langsir cadar and lemari dipunggahnya...

This friend of mine yang beranak enam ni message me recently tanya kenapa I tak kawin lagi. Katanya...yang dah lepas tu, lepaslah...jangan diingat lagi. She was referring tu Siamang. She also said..tahan kau idup sorang. I asked her back...what do you mean by tahan ? Of course bila orang cakap macam tu, more than often is a reference to physical pleasure you can only get by being with another person. Tapi sebab I ni pompuan Melayu terakhir lagi bersopan santun...I pi tanya baalik...what do you mean by tahan?

Dia pun jawab...ohh taktahu ke? Tak tahu tak ape lah...

So memang kompem lah dia maksud kan yang itu kan, Kiah? I was hoping that she was asking about...kau tahan ke hidup sorang diri..takde orang nak menemani githoo...but dizaman 18SX, budak tingkatan satu pun dah pandai rogol orang so jangan haraplah pertanyaan tentang whether or not you 'TAHAN' tu ada unsur-unsur innocent ye?

Most of my married friends takde nya cerita yang sedap didengar about laki masing-masing tu. Ada yang dah beranak 2,3 terus jadi distant husband. Ada pulak lakinya lebih rela pi bercerita hal kekurangan bini kat rakan muda pompuan satu opis daripada berterus-terang dengan bini sendiri...ada tu pulak..mengaku dah separate lah..bercerai lah dengan bini semata-mata nak ayat pompuan lain mencari simpati lah kononnya.

This friend in particular...jaman mudanya sungguh ayu, sekolah pun pandai...tapi lepas kawin, anak dah 3, terus tinggalkan kerja nak besarkan anak and niatnya masa tu nak beri tumpuan penuh pada lakinya. She got that right lah..bila tumpuan dah penuh kat laki..maka rakyat pun bertambah..terus ke enam orang. I guessed what she didn't take into account at that time bila buat keputusan nak berenti kerja nak bagi tumpuan penuh kat laki and anak-anak...is that..will the husband reciprocate the same?

Ye lah...dia derma sperm dia je lah...

There's always this talk about husband and wife should communicate. Ye lah...kalau dia nak makan nasik, dia communicate lah kan? But if you start telling them betapa letihnya badan you terkejar-kejar buat benda tu benda ni sensorang and hint-hint kat dia, what is your contribution in making this work...I bet you have better luck communicate dengan kambing.

Most wives nowadays embarked on special affair with their bibik. The wives are likely to cry bila bibiknya nak berenti. Only they know how you feel. Nak harap laki...while wife depa tu dah naik beruban memikirkan siapalah nak jaga anak ku kalau bibik ni berenti...their answer are likely to be..takpelah, kita cari baru. But leave you to do all the work while they all tu berhempas pulas picit remote control TV kan?

But what I don't understand...macam cerita my friend ni...komplen sokmo...kalau dah tahu laki kita tu rajin sikit aje dari kerbau, why putting up with him? I like to think that men don't have a clue apa yang dalam hati or kepala kita. So kalau dah tak suka...cakap aje lah kan?

Pi cerita kat Facebook sampai satu malaya baca buat apa?

Pastu ada hati lak nak tegur aku...tahan kau tak berlaki...when she obviously nak gantung diri sebab laki dia tak dulik kat dia.

I rasa nak tegur aje my friend ni...but thinking that kami ni pun last bercakap masa ambik result SPM, pastu terus tak jumpa and thanks to Facebook, kita berjejak kasih..kalau ku tegur nanti..she is most likely to say

a) Kau takde anak..kau tak paham
b) Kau takde laki...kau takkan paham...
c) Kita ni..tuhan dah jadikan lelaki blablabla..dan pompuan blablabla....(part ni yang aku tak larat)

So, I opted to be a friend and just said...laaa...kesian nya you.

Restaurant Review........(just)

This is my first attempt to do a restaurant review. Bukannya apa you, after nearly a decade living in London and few years living around England, jarangnya nak jumpa good Malaysian food. I have given up (amboi..sombong nya kata-kata...) on the one in Central London, Mawar ke, MARA House ke and Malaysia Hall dimana distulah tempat orang-orang gomen menyalahgunakan kuasa dan bercakap macam they all tu lah yang punya Jabatan-Jabatan gomen tu. Ada orang cerita kat I, puak-puak ni kalau datang makan tak payar bayar and ada pulak siap BYO ikan mintak orang punya kedai tu masak kan. Ish..ish..ish. Kalau dah kerja gomen dapat datang London 3,4 kali setahun takkan lah miskin kot? And of course lah, orang-orang gomen ini akan dilayan dengan spesial nya...and orang-orang tak gomen macam I ni, dibagi nasik sejuk aje. Another thing yang tak sedap dipandang, Malaysia Hall buat peraturan yang orang bukan Malaysia takleh masuk makan kat Malaysia Hall. Kalau nak masuk pun, kena masuk dengan orang Malaysia aje. So, Hjh Leemah..awok dokleh masuk makang. Awok kan oghang ER? Hehehe...takpo..nanti awok maghi Londeng, awok makang dumoh saya deh?

Ketahuilah oleh kita semua, dalam Londeng ni ada 3 (yang I tahu lah) kedai makan Malaysia yang nama kedainya ada word 'Makan'. Satu kat Richmond, satu kat Shepherd Bush and satu lagi kat Portobello Road. I have been to all 3 of them. So read along.....

Makan-Makan, is a nice humble eaterie, owned by a Chinese Malaysian lady. Because kedai ni adalah dekat dengan rumah and opis nombor 2 I, and bila kengkawan datang and I tengah takde mood nak masak (and I memang nya tak pandai masak) maka, tempat ni lah yang menjadi tempat I menjamu kengkawan I. I must say that although they listed Chinese & Malaysian food in their branding, it is far, far better than Chinese food yang eat all you can buffet £7.99 tu. In fact, the sambal, the rendang and the karipap tasted so original. The owner cum waiter dia pompuan cina yang nama Michelle ni punya PR adalah kelas satu...kalah stewardess MAS yang hanya suka melayan matsalleh aje. Kalau you nak compare dengan Malaysia Hall, maka ianya adalah berbeza macam Gunung Everest dengan Bukit Berapit. Makcik Pakcik Malaysia Hall dah kaya dan berasakan tak perlu lagi nak bermanis-manis muka dan Michelle, agaknya pun dah kaya jugak..tapi tetap memandang kami-kami yang masuk kat kedai dia ni cam lombong emas. The price is reasonable...although orang kaya kat Haverhill tu kata makanan kat Haverhill lagi mahal. So, I sincerely recommend thisn place to you all. Tempatnya takdelah grand mana...tapi food dia sungguh menjilat jari. If there's only setback ialah I don't think the food in there is halal yakni..takdelah halal certificate. So ayam dan dagingnya adalah dikatok dengan kejam. I am not fuss asalkan bukan babi..although sorang student PHD ni (perlu dingat ya..dia ni bukan kawan I, but kawan to my fren ni) yang masa kitorang makan KFC, dia punyalah bersyarah pasal ayam tu tak halal only to be told off by his friend (my friend) dengan ayat-ayat sakti...'eleh...nak makan yang halal aje, tapi isap ko*e gak..'. Wah..terkasimasss aku mendengar nya. So, I rate this restaurant 10 out of 10 lah ye...mind you, they serves karipap panas-panas.

I ni kurang gemar sangat nak ke Portobello Market nun...bukannya apa you all, area ni dekat dengan St Charles. St Charles ni adalah opis I numbor 3 and ramai population clients I dok bermastautin kat St Charles sepital ni. It is a bit too familar for me. Kerja macam I ni, kalau boleh..kalau nak berumahtangga, janganlah sekali berumahtannga kat area dekat dengan opis. Nak pergi kedai pun tak senang nanti. The owner of this shop is a Kedahan. The location is quite near to central London (adalah satu bas aje) and dekat jugaklah dengan tanah jajahan Bayswater ittew, so bila jalan-jalan, maka akan terserempaklah dengan student-student Malaysia yang mega-pandai. I tak tahulah nak cakap apa..but I selalu sangat terserempak dengan student Malaysia yang akan pandang I macam lah I ni orang gaji pilipin. Ke perasaan aku aje Kiah? I nak aje cakap..eleh...I ni awal lagi dah mai UK belajar, but siapalah aku kan Kiah? Master pun takde...degree pun 2nd class.

Okay...I nak tak nak komen lebih-lebih pasal restaurant ni. The owner and me goes loooong way back but I wish them all the best. I dah pernah datang sekali..bukannya makan free pun. Tapi lepas tu macam-macam cerita keluar. Tak apalah...

Compared to the two, ni lah kedai makan yang paling upmarket. Letaknya di Westfield, shopping kompleks yang paling besar kat Europe. Poket I pun koyak besar dek kerna membeli Xmas present. I was told ada kedai Malaysia, so hati I macam berbunga-bungalah.

Price of the food mahal sikit lah dari kedai biasa. Takpelah...interior deco nya chantekkk. MB1 spotted a malay waiter yang berambut blonde and we place our order cakap melayu. The teh and nescafe tarik is nice. The menu is nice and bila mata lapar...otak pun tak berapa waras.

MB1 didn't finished her Mee Kari. I finished all my food in protest (ke kedekut?) and MB2, as always oblivious to what is right and what is not the right taste (in the end, she commented that her food taske like celaka) Inside the bowl of curry mee, amongst the noodles, the udang and the fishballs, in lies the abysmal size of sayur sawi with the trunk sama size nya dengan batang kelapa.

Dengan tak puas hatinya, I tanya kat one of the waiter, do you serves this kind of vegetables? Don't you think the size is against health and safety? People could choke.

Of course, she will passed me as customer yang berlagak, assured me that she'll asked the chef but lepas tu dia pun ghaib tah kemana. I walked to the counter to pay my bill. The cashier asked if I want to put a gratuity on my credit card. I pandang dia. I beg your pardon? You served me a vege that fits an elephant and you're asking me for tip? I don't think so.

Dengan serta merta, kami pun rasa macam nak tukar nama kedai tu jadi 'JOM BERAMBUS DARI SINI'.

I doubt the waiter/waitresses know what they're serving as they just abruptly campak the meal on your table.The Manager is a Chinese man from Hong Kong. There's one Malay waiter and the rest...entahlah datang dari mana.I googled this restaurant and the owner is one Datuk from Malaysia. If he or his konco-konco is reading this....

a) Your food suck

b) Your service is poor

c) Ayam percik is not a grilled chicken breast with layers of kuah satay on top ye...buat malu aje.

d) Your Mee Kari is so cair like air mata....and it travels from Dundee to our table.

Had I not asked, maybe sampai sudah tak tiba-tiba pun.That was the £40 I so resented paying you.

Sekian.

I Really Need To Moan....

I think....(repeat ye..I think) that in the Malay family, it is very important that your parents, siblings and sedara mara ada tauliah mahupun yang takde tauliah to like the person you're going out with or the person you're about to marry.

Lepas kahwin...lain cerita. Janji dah lepas masuk into the family. After that, kalau family laki kita tak suka kat kita, itu they all punya masalah and we, sebagai orang pompuan akan mempropagandakan laki kita supaya beralih arah ke keluarga kita pulak.

I am not the best person to talk and write about this subject. I ni, laki pun takde.Yang dikendung pun terciciran....

But over the years I have witnessed a fair share of family pandemoniums, mak mertua tak suka this menantu, kakak tak suka that adik ipar, and ada pulak tu, seisi keluarga tak suka their new addition in the family.

Family orang putih jarang pulak ada problem cenggitu. Habis-habis pun they will say..oh, I didn't get on with so and so's wife, husband etc, etc. and those people will be crossed of their Xmas cards lists.

Masa mak si F masih idup, she was very pleasant to me. Hantar birthday card, bagi birthday present and in fact, habis seisi keluarga dia bagi I presents.I must have impressed them so much, agaknya aku lah yang membawak anak they all tu ke jalan yang benar (phuwweekkk!!!) I think if they tak suka kat I pun, demi anak mereka tu, they terpaksa suka jua. Jarang orang putih nak masuk campur hal dalam kain anak masing-masing.

I get to know my first brother in law when he came to the house to be introduced to my Mum (my parents lives separately at this time) He made the massive effort. My sister must have pre empted him about me and what I am like (ish..what am I like...buruknya perangai) and it is very obvious that he was focussing in trying to be liked by me. I was in a very vulnerable position at this time. Ye lah..dia tu boipren adik I...a year older than me (that made him 2 yrs older than my sister) and I ni tak kawin lagi masa tu and still tak kawin lagi masa sekarang ni (not to mention...tengah super glamer berkebaya ketat masa ni...kau ada Aking?) tak ke rasa anxious semacam? Macam-macam benda dalam kepala I masa tu. Nak dress up ke or just buat biasa? Kalau bergaya lebih-lebih kang orang kata I nak hambik boipren adik I or manalah tahu boipren adik I tetiba tersuka ke kat I ni...(ke aku aje yang rasa camtu? Ohh...Kiah wouldn't understand...)

Seperti biasa, and atas bantuan saudara mara yang terdekat lagi puaka, I have stolen my sister's thunder on her wedding day. Ye Tuan/Puan, masa orang tengah sibuk berkenduri, masa tu jugaklah sedara mara yang puaka mulutnya pi sosek-sosek kat orang yang the pengantin pompuan nya sister masih lagi available. And my brother in law's parents pun merasa bersalah and approached my parents to offer some gift for me as the melangkah bendul present. Memang cilaka sungguh masa tu. Angin satu badan I masa tu...lagi besar anginnya bila berdepan dengan rombongan my brother in law yang dah tahu bahawasanya yang I ni masih single. Nak dijadikan cerita, ada pulak uncle my brother in law yang bujang terlajak hadir masa tu (he was looking like like Sohaimi Meor Hassan versi muda) and aku dan dia di usik-usik githoo. I tell you, kalaulah tak ngenangkan adik I, mahunya majlis kahwin tu jadi peristiwa Memali. But sebagai kakak yang mithali, I diamkan aje walaupun rasa nak ku soyok kan mulutnya sedara mara ku yang puaka ittew.

So enough of that. I didn't get to know my sister in law (my eldest brother's wife) and was missing out on lots of information about her. I think because my eldest brother tu perangai ngalahkan beruang, we thought siapalah pompuan yang malang yang sanggup jadi bininya. My eldest brother tu ada ramai gilpren tak jadi and his wife now is the only one yang survived ke jinjang pelamin. She is very young and I would say naive, as a woman with a rational thinking would not go and commit with a man like him. Bukan I nak burukkan dia but we all kesian dengan dia...chenta punya pasal and sanggup buat apa saja. I just hope my brother realised his luck yang ada gak orang nak kawin dengan dia and one day if something happen, he will be strong for her (and for himself, idokle nak harapkan mak I to bail him out)

So...I am about to receive another sister in law. I was introduced to her last raya. The next thing I tahu, mike tu dah nak bernikoh. Laaaa...

I know this is none of my business but I'm struggling to like her. I tatau lah dia tu perangai cemana, but if adik I dah sanggup ikut apa saja yang dia ndak, maka itu adalah choice dia. But I think, she should at least make more effort to be nice to my mother (and me). Dah le first time datang beraya rumah boipren..buat-buatlah duduk meramahs mesra dengan bakal ipar duai and mak mertua kan? Idok...dia duduk berkepit (eh..takdelah nya literally berkepit, but you know lah what I mean) aje dgn boipren nya...main-main ringing tone (ohh..how tak cool nya) and takdelah nak volunteer tolong basuh pinggan ke, tanya bakal kakak ipar dia (aku ni lah) buat apa..etc, etc. I'm sure dia pun dah selalu jumpa my brother tu so apalah salahnya masa ni digunakan untuk bersuaikenal dengan bakal anak buah, bakal ipar, bakal kucing ipar ke kan? Tak!

Dengar khabarnya my brother and my sisters is bending over backward for her. Apparently she decide when she want the kenduri, takdelah nak tanya kita ni convenient ke idak. Yang semputnya my mother and my sisters lah (ish...jangan haraplah my eldest brother nak menolong), as if dia tu takde benda lain atas pinggan dia.

I ni pikir..kalau belum kahwin dah macam ni lah gaya princess-control nya, apatah lagi bila dah jadi bini besok? Dah le my brother tu lah sorang nya jantan yang boleh diharap dalam family and kalau dia pun dah dialih-arahkan oleh bininya, siapalah lagi yang boleh diharapkan oleh mak,kakak and adik perempuannya ni?

Please don't think that I am aganist her and her happiness. ..but I believe, tak banyak sikit, kita sebagai orang luar yang nak masuk dalam family orang lain ni, kenalah menjadi kambing dan mengembek dikandang kambing and menglembu (pandai kan aku, Kiah?) bila masuk ke ladang lembu.

My brother jokingly asked me what is my gift for him for his wedding. I cakap..nanti lah..tengoklah..of course dengan niat yang berbunga-bunga and wanting to see him happy. But bila mengenangkan yang hadiah ku tu nanti akan dapat ke pompuan tu jugak...I rasa macam nak beli Kitkat aje..nah share lah kau dua orang.

Ish.....

Harimau Kayu Yang Jahat

I think generally, men are excellent at keeping secret. Nak nak secret yang penting untuk they all tu, maka susahlah nak pecah kat mulut kan?

Women tend to trust easily so dalam pada 'ni I bagitahu you aje ye..you janganlah pi cerita kat orang tawww'...and the next thing, santero Paroi Jaya, Taman Pinngiran Golf and Taman Guru Senawang dah tahu. Ish..ish..ish...tu lah dia. Most women told their husband and their girlfriends, unbeknown to them that laki they all tu berpotensi jugak menjadi gossipmonger.

I think if we may fault a woman, then it should be their trusting nature for telling the wrong people the most exclusive secrets. I often told my friend not to trust me with secrets, pasalnya kenkadang by accident terkeluar juga. But considering that I pun jarang bercakap dengan orang, most of people secrets are safe with me and the cats.

So sekarang ni satu donia nah..dah tahu yang si golfer idola masakini tu ghope-ghope nya adalah musang berbulu beruang. Today and still counting, dah 7 pompuan telah dikongkek dibelakang bininya. Some 'transgressions' happened masa kawan tu dengan berat mengandung (sampainya hati...) and all that time, I yang kaki gossip antarabangsa ni boleh taktau yang dia ni set-set bapak ayam jugak. Although I must say..(so will you, Kiah) yang hati kecil ni terasalah jugak sebab tak tersenarai dalam list-list wanita sundalan ittew (Abang Rimau...you lupa ke kita pernah ber ehem-ehem dalam lemari penyapu...ke, I dengan Boris Becker..ish..I don't keep track you)

I think some may say that kita pompuan is blessed with tah hapa nama instinct yang membolehkan kita tahu yang laki/pakwe kita tu bermain kayu 2,3,4 & 5. Ye ke? I think unless kalau pompuan tu kerja dengan Pasukan CSI or private detective, some tak akan tahu until his/her deathbed. Ada jugak bini dapat tahu yang laki they all tu ada simpan pompuan until it is wayyyyyyyyyy too late. I am not talking sampai dah beranak lapan, but ada jugak case yang laki dijumpai 'termati' dengan pompuan yang dipercayai pompuan simpanan nya. Isk...agaknya masa kenduri arwah ke hapa, confuse nak nangis pasal apa. Pasal laki mati ke or pasal dapat tahu laki ada gilpren lain, kan?

One of my friend, dia ni dua beradik aje. Mak dah mati many years ago. So bapaknya membujang sampai dia pun mati 2 years ago. Dia dua beradik sebelum ni puaslah suruh bapaknya cari bini tapi bapak kata, alah..mak kau sorang dah cukup. Anak mana tak kembang bontot dapat bapak yang setia camtu? Tapi....bila bapaknya mati, ramai pompuan datang/talipon mengaku yang they all kawan. Ada yang sampai nangis pengsan-pengsan and plenty yang buat pengakuan yang selama ni I lah yang jaga bapak you. I masak for him etc,etc. Tak ke tercengang anak-anak dia yang selama ni ingat bapak dia suci dalam debu tu?

So came the time bila anak-anak kena kemas barang bapak. Dalam mobile phone bapak nya punyalah banyak message mesra alam dari tah mana pompuan and they found a lots of bank deposit slip, made payable to some womens name. So they gather that Bapak they all tu semasa hayatnya rajin lah jugak menjadi ATM machine kat kengkawan pompuan ni. Not that they mind, ye lah nak buat cemana kan?

My friend and her brother discovered lots of things Bapak didn't tell them when he was still alive. Sampai my friend cakap kat one of her aunt (adik bapak nya) ish..tah hapa lagi lah nak keluar lepas ni. Entah-entah dia ada anak kat mana-mana yang kita tak tau.

Tup-tup.....memang dia ada anak you all.......dengan bini baru yang much-much younger than his kids. Bapak kawin sesenyap..and cerai pun sesenyap. Takde orang tahu..melainkan sahabat sejati dia lah. My friend dapat tahu, sahabat sejati Bapak dia ni ghope-ghopenya terpaksa menyimpan rahsia Bapak my friend ni kawin lain sebab nya, dia pun ghopenya berbini baru jugak.Kawin sekali lak tu.

Hah kau!!!

So my friend ni and her brother terpaksalah pi menjejak kasih ex mak tiri diorang tu sebab nak bagitahu Bapak dah takde. My friend cakap kat I yang she and her brother prepared to overlook that fact, considering Bapak they all ni kira bapak mithali lah jugak and it must be hard for him to keep this secret.

But then, this is one of many. Si Rimau tu agaknya kalaulah takde eksiden dengan pokok maka kita-kita semua ni ingat dia tu suami mithali sangat lah kan? Hah..sekali keluar tujuh lak tu. Pulak tu, apasal lah dia bodoh sangat? Kalau dia tu mekanik kat Kwikfit ke, kongkek lah sesapa pun..mana ada orang kenal kan?

It is hard to understand why men nak pi menyimpan rahsia yang macam ni. Are they really made of stone and boleh nyenyak tido malam menyimpan rahsia yang macam ni? Tak terpikir ke dunia ni bulat, pusing-pusing jumpa orang tu and orang tu jugaklah yang boleh termembukak rahsia they all tu.

Ada one gagak Social Worker kat Dept I kerja ni, motto dia mudah saja. Buat apa susah-susah nak menjeruk hati pikir laki dia ada main kayu tiga ke hapa...because kalau dia nak buat, dia akan buat dimana saja. She sais to us one day, well, if he wants to stray behind my back, then he can go and do it. But if I catch him, he'll die.

So, sediakanlah kapak...and pre nuptial agreement ye..kengkawan.I am all for taking them monkeys to the cleaners.

Update

First, I have to say that I am really thankful for your comments. I am so sorry that I am not capable, sometime,to reply to all of them but rest assured that semuanya dibaca dengan hati yang berbunga-bunga cinta lestari.

No, I did not have dengue. Nyamuk pun tak ada kat sini, so kebarangkalian nak dapat demam denggi berdarah and takde darah tu adalah amat tipis. Semakin tua umur, semakin lemahlah antibodi and ditambah pulak yang I ni tak rajin nak makan vitamin, maka I akan terjangkit demam dengan cepatnya dan sembuh dengan lambatnya.

But, I really appreciate the well-wishers. In return, I wish you all a good health as well.

So, let's just start with a little update here and there, nah?

It is so funny how people like to interpret thing far,far out of its context, as and when it suits them. In Malaysia this generally applies to all politicians. Put aside lah siapa salah, siapa tak salah. But beringatlah kan yang kamu-kamu pemimpin tu is in the position of trust. Now ni orang marah kat Nik Aziz. As far as I know, Nik Aziz and all his lot dah memang selalunya cakap macam tu kat majlis-majlis syarahan they all. As a melayu, I believe, inadvertantly, dalam percakapan, we produced the kind of verbal own goals that when looking (hearing) back can cause an everlasting cringing embarassment. Take for example bila maggie mee kita dikebas dari bilik prep, maka...akan terkeluarlah kata-kata yang berunsur ugutan melampau e.g. barang sesiapa yang memakan maggie cintan perasa kari aku tu, maka malam ni meletuplah anak tekak dia.Such sentenced was produced merely due to huge frustation but doubtly lah kita nak tengok orang meletop anak tekak dek sepacket mee tu kan?

We are prone to say the right thing at the right time to the wrong people in every conceivable social situation.Obviously, we can't deal with our social ineptitude by avoiding people completely. We may not want to change they way we express ourselves but we certainly hope that people will learn to understand us better. Well, if you're not a politician, maybe. I got away with saying quite a hurtful things to people.I may not be so lucky if I am some Menteri di Jabatan Perdana Menteri etc, etc. Dengan kita-kita ni, boleh lah lagi buat excuse sana-sini, like...alah...janganlah kecik ati dengan si Anu Anu tu, dia memang cakap kasar..tapi dia baekkk ati. Hiks.

Many, many years ago...Shahnon Ahmad got away with freely and unshamedly using the word 'Pu*imak'. Ni bukannya terguna dalam context terperanjat githoo..but kata guna caruts 100 persen ni. I don't remember him being crucified.

People, however nak menjaga peradaban pun, will say the darndest thing. But that does not mean that the people is bad.

I am not all for encouraging bad behaviour and bad choice of words...but I think, sebagai manusia yang boleh berfikir baik dan buruk, we must not manipulate our way of thinking, think bad when we want to when we necessarily don't have to.

************************************************************************

Again, I can't help to feel sorry for that Malaysian guy yang nak kena deport balik KL tu. (isk....yang you pun satu, dah tau ruling kat sini gambar passport kena background putih yang you bantai pi submit gambo kaler biru tu wakpe? Ingat ni Jab Imigresen KL ke?) Ye lah..khabarnya, kalau dia balik Mesia, Jabatan Agama what not nak tangkap dia.Ada pulak mulut puaka yang kata dia nak kena tangkap pasal dia tukar agama lah kononnya.

Why can't we have one rule for all? Kalau benda camni..yang ala-ala kuman seberang laut...cepat benau nak persecute kan? That guy yang acquitted from Noritta's murder, yang terang-terang satu Malaya tahu dia berkongkekan haram...idok pulak aku tengok Mahkamah Syariah nak tangkap dia?

Si Fatine tu takdelahnya nak songlap duit orang or pasang C4 kat badan pompuan Mongolia, so biarlah dia. Orang jeles kot sebab muka dia chantekkk macam Rihanna.(pssttt..kau tak jeles tengok baju gown dia..wahhh, rasa nak gi Debenham sekarang gak)

So, I wish you well Fatine...kalau dah lepas nanti, jangan lupa masak nasik ayam and jamu I nah...

Taraaaa.

Bercakap Dengan Diri Sendiri

Here we are in the month of December.

Month of December jugaklah ada orang tu akan mengalami reality bite yang dia tu tua setahun dari I. Kalau tak tu sokmo tak ngaku...nak tunggu umur cukup on the dot katanya..pirrra mabuk!

Okay...I will be attending a wedding soon. Somebody very,very close to me. At this age, dengan tak ber bagage nya, attending a wedding macam nak gi belayar kat Indian Ocean, where Somalian Pirates a.k.a. sedara-mara yang bermulut lanun adalah dimana-mana.

There have been 3 weddings in the house and I attended only 2. I wasn't playing the big part like a family member did in a family wedding, macam Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, I cuma hadir tunjuk muka dan menjadi bahan sindiran my married cousins, Pakcik & Makcik.

I have a conversation with my ex yesterday. Not a good one. While one party is trying hard to patch things up. another one is happy being unattached.

I have been single since last February, after many,many years of drama. This is my 2nd long term relationship...dengan dua-dua nya tak menjadi.

I was badly messed up. I think bila kita dah jatuh terjelepuk the first time, we entered the 2nd one dengan attitude yang sangat defensive and not willing to be the doormat anymore (padahal, kenkadang tu takde nya pun orang kedua tu treat kita macam doormat pun)

So we ended up being the most difficult person for other sto put up with and blamed it on our 'complicated' self. Takdenya yang complicated pun...when you are not ready to give or when you're are not that sort of person to give...you can't give.

So...the wedding is looming and I will soon asked the same questions again. I want to be honest with people this time.

Why am I 'still' single?

Yeah..I like to be in a relationship,having people to talk to when I need to talk etc,etc.

But, there will be time that I want to be on my own, do not want to share my opinion, my space, my feelings, being horrible, anti social etc, etc.

That you can get...by being unattached.


(dan saya masih demam)

Suci Dalam Demam...3

Weih....Kiah asked me to hapdate about the malay guy. Which one ah? I wrote about two. I don't know the first guy, but I wish him well in his predicament.

I'm afraid I have to re-refer that PHD guy to someone else. Mind you, bukan aku sorang aje yang boleh cakap melayu dalam Dept tu. I know a Malaysian consultant psychiatrist and if the need be, Mamat tu (sebab dia dah jadi detainee immigration) can asked for interpreter service. But kalau dah belajar sampai PHD, takkanlah tak boleh cakap omputih kan? There's plenty of Malaysian student yang pandai cakap omputih...and terlebih pandainya sampai nak ikut English accent yang in the end tersangatlah confuse dot com it sounded like American Irish immigrant. Ish..ish...buat malu aje taw...Kiah.

Ingatlah ye...sesapa English wannabe, it is not about the sound of words you produced, it is about how you say it. Sila belajar technique-technique yang betul dari Cik Kiah...yang didatang khas dari private school Exeter ittew...apa khelass aku yang belajar kat Felda Trolak ni kan?

So...tak kan adalah gossip. Having said that, I now realised betapa tak berkaliber nya aku. I've signed the confidentiality policy and here I am, pi cerita pulak hal orang dengan you all, kan?

But....masa-masa demam macam ni, memang lah mood insaf belaka. Curi pen dari opis dah rasa berdosa gittew.

Speaking about re-referring patient, one is in aposition to do so if he/she feels the need to render professional service may interfere or jeorpardise the case.

I wrote in my report that...the guy has refused treatment and refused cooperating, but responded when I conversed in his native language, when there is no apparent need for me to do so.

So, I will see him again to close his file. There is a fine line between overly stressed and disengagement of cognitive ability. Dia tu stressed, bukannya tak paham bahasa. Kalau le I ni Ustazah, I will ask him to pray to tenangkan hati....(tapi Makji pun hit and miss you..., takde kepimpinan melalui teladan langsung)

Suci Dalam Demam...2

1. Takde cerita nak diceritakan.....Makji masih demam, batuk,selsema, batuk...and demam balik. Ubat dah makan. Hari-hari mandi air extra panas...minum air kosong, air tak kosong, semua dah try. GP aje belum jumpa. Walaupun demam...I tetap gi kerja. Gagah/gigih sungguh. Orang tanya, apasal you tak cuti sakit? Yeah..boleh, pastu kerja pun menimbun. Takpe...nanti kerja yang menimbun tu dah susut, I akan start mengular balik.

2. Semalam...ada cerita budak melayu keluar dalam The Sun. Cantik sungguh budak tu. Jealous sungguh I dengan rambut dan mekap nya. Budak KLCC, kawin dengan orang putih dari Derby. Khabarnya dah nak kena deported...kesian. Jahat betul immigration kat sini.Lanun Somalia dibaginya masuk dan British Passport, tapi orang yang dah masuk sini ikut channel yang betul, macam-macam songeh lak. Tak pasal-pasal nanti, bila dia balik Malaysia, Jais Jawi semua berlumba tunggu kat KLIA nak nangkap dia. Cis! Semoga dia selamat pergi dan balik.

3. I ada case baru. Budak melayu...sekarang ni kena tahan kat tah mana pusat detention. Dah 2 tahun tahun katanya kena tahan. 3 bulan lepas, adik ni kena refer kena psychiatrist. I baca file dia...pandai budak ni. Ada PHD, although I must say that the damage in his head is not caused by his studies. Kena seksa boipren kot...nak balik takut, makbapak dah pulau...he already breached government contract or something. He is not talking to anyone. I saw him 2 days ago. He didn't respond when I interview him. Of course lah Makji cakap omputih kan? I was with a nurse, I asked questions, the nurse asked him questions...pun dia tak jawab. But his hands is shaking. After 15 minutes and tekak I pun dah sakit dek berbatuk-batuk and menanya soklan kat dianya yang macam batu, I tanya nurse tu, is he on any medication? Nurse cakap dianya selalu refuse. I tanya Nurse lagi..Mamat ni bahaya tak, walaupun dia nya ada jugak membuat perangai dalam detention centre e.g. menterbalikkan meja, memecah barang etc. Nurse cakap dia okay. Then I said....so, awak ni sebenarnya kenapa? Rasa tak sihat ke? Tangan nampak macam gementar...awak risaukan apa sebenar nya? Buntang mata dia tengok I. Dia tanya I..akak orang Melayu ke? I cakap kat dia...makan ubat you. 2 minggu lagi kita cakap-cakap okay? Saya tak gila Kak. Saya tahu...tapi awak tertekan. Badan awak tak boleh rehat, so ikut cakap Nurse ni, makan ubat...bagi sistem awak rehat. 2 minggu..kita jumpa lagi. I took his hand..masih menggeletar.Ni..tengok ni...awak terlampau risau..pasal tu menggeletar. Makan ubat. We finished at that.I called the ward after that...and he did take his meds.

4. Semoga Danyl Johnson akan kalah minggu ini...makin menyampah pulak aku nengok muka nya. I hate manipulative people.

Suci Dalam Demam

I am currently not well. Physically. Maybe...mentally too.

Last week, MB1 dah start tersosek-sosek. Tapi yang herannya si kecik tu, kalau demam, hanya sehari aje, pastu dia akan kembali ke sediakala.

Pagi selasa, I bangun bagi dengan tekak yang mengembang macam tekak katak. So, selalunya bila I nak dapat demam, memang tekak lah yang akan sakit dulu. From there, I dah start makan lemsip capsules. 2 bijik every 4 hours. Keesokan pagi, tekak tu masih lagi rasa macam dah tertelan katak...and I pun sambung lagi makan ubat lemsip tu.

Masuk hari Jumaat, dalam badan I tak sihat tu, I pergi jugak cenference kat Colchester yang jauhnya 2 jam perjalanan naik kereta dari London. Ikutkan hati, memang taknak pergi...tapi, sibertuah-bertuah colleagues I semuanya tatau jalan and disebabkan I dah pernah pergi tempat ni, semuanya tunggu I yang bawak. Fed up sungguh.

Habis conference, Boss tanya I, you pergi opis tak? I cakap...tak..sebab I dah rasa macam nak pengsan kat situ jugak. So Boss hantar I balik. And balik-balik aje, I terus masuk shower dan mandi air yang paling panas sekali.I always think that there is a certain traditional ways to cure from cold.Mandi air panas. I will not bother to see my GP pasalnya, appointment bukan tentunya akan dapat time-time tu jugak, and maybe by the time the GP free nak jumpa I, it is either I dah baik dengan seniri nya or dah m**i.

Mandi air panas tak jalan....so I pun tukar lah ubat. I bantai minum ubat batuk sehari suntuk. Pun macam tu juga.Kepala rasa macam nak pecah, so itu macam indication yang hidung I tersumbat githoo, do I pun pi hambat MB1 pi cari decongestant syrup kat pharmacy. Chewwahh...berlumba-lumba kahak, mak kahak dah keluar diiringi batuk yang luarbiasa sampai berdarah-darah anak tekak I.

Semalam, dalam keadaan badan yang segan mati takmau, I boleh lagi submit menu kat MB1. I cakap, I nak makan karipap. Terus dia keluar pi beli bahan. Konon lah nak bagi keluar peluh, I took part dalam menguli tepung yang agaknya, berkat demam...terus tepung karipap tu menjadi. Bila karipap dah siap, I pun memakan sambil berbaring,sambil tertido (dek kepala berputar dek ubat tu), sambil batuk-batuk,sambil masuk toilet buang kahak 5,6 kali sepanjang malam, sambil tido balik etc..etc. Cukup semua cycle sampai pagi.

Hari ni rasa okay sikit...malangnya karipap dah habis and hati I kembali menjadi panas. MB1 dan MB2 telah mengambil kesempatan dalam kelemahan dan kerabunan I, maka mereka berdua tu membaham karipap sambil menonton Hannibal Rising. Ish..kalaulah they all boleh lalu makan sambil tengok cerita yang kejam macam tu, surelah memasing tu berhati ice cube kan? I should be lucky yang aku ni tak dimakannya.

Dalam pada seminggu yang dipenuhi oleh hari-hari demam ni, sambil I berfeeling superwoman masih pergi kerja walaupun rasa nak pengsan, ada jugak kerja-kerja tak berpekdah lain yang I dah buat.

I am now ialah salah seorang penyokong 'Anwar Ibrahim Haters Club' kat pesbuk. I think I must have 2 friends or more that this group was suggested to me. Well I thought by not liking him very much and at all, I am so overly qualified to become a supporters. I always feel that Anwar got a face that it is hard to like, so macam mana dia boleh tarik orang masuk PKR pun I tatau. I think that people become a member for the sake of opposing the government, yang boleh tahan lah puaka nya. I think, had PKR have a different Leader, I pun macam tempted jugak nak join. Hey you all janganlah taktau, dulu I ni penyokong kuat Semangat 46 nah...siap ada badge dengan topi lagi, sampai my father tegur, nak ambik SPM ke nak jadi pembangkang ni?

Dalam demam-demam dalam debu tu, selama ni yang I tak heran langsung tapi benci nak mampus kat AI, sempatlah membaca, menengok Yutiub pasal dia nya. Ingatkan lepas keluar jail, dok umah lah kan? Geghope nya.....luas jugak dia berjalan...sampai pergi interview sampai Australia sinun.

Ish..tak malu kah AI tu? Hal dalam negara sendiri pi bagitau orang? Macamlah orang kat KL tu terseksa macam kat Zimbabwe. Adakah dia jugak mengharapkan orang Australia pun mengundi dia juga?

Looking at his supporters yang ala-ala pakcik berani mati tapi anak bini kat rumah tak makan, does he not feel a tinge of responsibility leading them to something so uncertain yet rewarding only for him?

Karpal Singh dengan geramnya dah cakap.....Anwar perlu bertaubat!!! Hah..hambik kau.Apa namanya Ketua yang mengalakkan lompat-lompat party tu? How can he not feel embarrass banking on winning from people sitting on the fence ni? Itu aje kah modalnya?

Tapikan...yang tak bestnya bab AI haters ni...ada jugak puak-puak yang yang mengutuk dia menggunakan bahasa-bahasa yang sangatlah rendah moralnya.

Benci, benci jugak lah kak..bang. Tapi takpayah lah nak maki-maki cam gitu sekali nah? Nanti orang ingat kita ni mentality kaki carut pulak.

Tak suka, tak suka lah...takpayahlah nak panggil orang tu vavi ke, mat vontot ke...

Ingat lah hah...I think what we don't like is his political propaganda...he might be nice in person.

Game......Anonymous

Mula-mula......FARMTOWN. Wahhhh...I suka main ini game. Cucuk tanam, pastu harvest...pastu plow. Pulak tu sambil berkerja boleh bergossip. Pastu..tak cukup dengan kerja kat ladang sendiri and ladang jenjiran, boleh gi jobseeking kat Marketplace lagi. Bila dah ramai jiran, semangat taknak kalah tu memang tinggi. Orang naik point, kita jeles. Orang beli rumah, kita jeles. Pendek kata...apa aje benda kat ladang orang yang takde dalam ladang kita, kita akan sakit hati kejelesan dan tak tido malam merayau mencari kerja so that we could afford to buy benda-benda baru.

Seingat I, takde langsung pengalaman pahit main game ni, cuma satu ketika dulu ada jugaklah jiran yang suka benar datang kebun orang..bergossip tak pe lagi..membuat gossip tu yang I tak larat. Dah le aku ni kurang pahala...berkebun dengan orang tu makin menambah dosa aje. Ish....

Lepas tu....geng-geng kat opis mulalah tanya..eh, ko ada main FARMVILLE tak? Sebulan jugak I keraskan hati sambil mempromote kat diorang suruh main FARMTOWN. I cakap kat my colleague (tu diah..terkopak rahsia kan..Social Worker yang tak bertauliah ni, masa counselling session, masa buat incident report sebenarnya dalam diam main game Facebook) FARMTOWN lagi bagussss. Walaupun I dah cakap kat they all tu yang I akan tetap setia dengan FARMTOWN, memasing masih gak cuba memanipulate keputusan periuk api I dengan menghantar gift-gift berupa anak kambing, Mak Lembu, Pokok-Pokok etc dengan melimpahruah nya.

Curiosity got the better of me. Walaupun I kurenggg sikit gemar dengan musik nya, I sungguh terpaut hati dengan lelembu yang ber eye lashes macam Donatella Versace tu. Hah..mulalah aku cuba memenuhi dua tanggungjawab sekaligus. Penat occay.....tapi walaupun begitu, bak sang jantan yang dah berbini tapi masih ada masa mengayat dan menjalankan tanggungjawab kepada gilpren dan bini nya serentak, begitulah I dengan FT and FV ni.

Ada sekali masa kat KL, I ni on the way nak gi pasar malam TTDI. Sesampainya I kat Damansara Utama tu, jantung rasa rasa nak pecah and I mulalah macam monyet kena letrik githoo. MB2 tanya apasal? I cakap...ish..I lupa, I baru tanam strawberry ke hapa..yang akan masak dalam masa 2 jam. Rasa nak pusing balik masa tu jugak. Tapi...demi nak menjaga maruah diri (or nanti orang ingat aku ni gila) I relakan saja my plantations to withered.I menangis dalam hati you..isk, isk, isk.

Sebenarnya, dalang dalam ketagihan terbaru I ni..ialah MB2. Dia lah yang ajak-ajak. I pun bila tengok macam best aje join lah. Kesudahnya, aku yang lagi productive dari dia.

Tak habis dengan Farmville, I ni dah bukak Cafe lah pulak. I dah terperasan yang kawan-kawan dari FT pun ada lama Cafe juga. Majuuuuu pulak tu. Tu yang I sakit ati. Sakit hati dan dengki itu jugaklah punca I bermain bertubi-tubi, sampaikan I sanggup set alarm bila lauk-pauk tu dah disiap masak. I boleh tido sebelah komputer lagi dan dalam pisat-pisat tu, I main game, boleh?

(Orang datang rumah pun, I sempat main game lagi....boleh?)

Sekarang ni, ada orang ajak I main MAFIA lah, Restaurant lah...ayoyo...hati I macam digaru-garu. Tapi, semenjak ada nya game-game ni, ketagihan I makin melampau dan kerja I semakin tak siap. Semalam, ada orang masuk opis I dan terdengar bunyik lembu FV yang suka mengawan tu. Dia cakap kat I..ooohh..you main game ye? I pun cakap...a'ah. Kenapa, you nak report I ke? Tu diah..macam penagih sangat kan...berani tak bertempat. (Although..assistant I tu takkan nya mereport I...sebabnya I selalu bagi dia balik awal)

Sekarang ni, I macam menyesal pulak.. Kalau tahu lah nak jadi cenggini, tak hingin pun I accept application tu. I should have stick to my Age Of Empire & Sim City. Lagi menguatkan minda. Ni? Game buat aku semakin busuk ati lagi memakan gaji buta adalah...

Is there any Game Anonymous out there? I really need to curb my addiction. Seriously.

Yang Cenekel...and Yang Kejam

Apa yang Cenekel?

The news yesterday and before reported how two men is sentenced to jail for raping and molesting 2 of their daughters. I think, sorang bapak haruan tu merog sambil mencabul and sorang lagi bapak haruan tu teleh mencabul anak-anak pompuannya.Ye...memang celaka.

The rapist and molester, ghopa-ghopa dah membuat kerja-kerja terkutuk ni bertahun lama nya and only got found out bila anaknya merepot. I think dia kena jail bertahun-tahun jugak and akan disebat (mintak-mintak tercabut lah tolo eh maso di cemat tu kan, Tijah?)

The molester...kena jail 60 bulan aje. Ke 5 tahun macam tu? The news decided to report the graphic bit of his molestation one of which is forcing the daughter to give him a blow job.

I think that is so traumatic for a 11 years old. Nak nak yang menyuruh tu bapak nya seniri.

Both men are askar. Both is asking for leniency in their sentence, kunun nya..mereka tu dah berjasa dalam angkatan tentera.

Nak aje I tanya, since pendudukan Jepun, PKM, Memali and Bukit apa kenamanya kat Peghok tu, apalah sangat kerja abang-abang askar ni kan? My father pun askar juga...siap masuk hutan keluar hutan but he always come home with his extra rations. tapi dia selalu happy aje, siap posing-posing amik gambar pegang senapang berfeeling Rambo lagi. Unlike British troop kat sini yang tiap-tiap minggu ada je yang mati kena bunuh dek Taliban, askar kat Malaysia sempat lagi berpoya-poya kat Tasik nah??? Or kat Stesyen minyak Esso tunggu orang bawak balik? (ish..manalah pulak aku tahu ni...ade ke kerna aku membaca blog orang-orang yang berprojekan dengan Abang Askar?) Well...biarlah orang nak bergumbira kan?

Tapi, ape ke hey nya si pakcik dua orang ni, siap mintak dikasihani after dibahamnya anak masing-masing tu? Pulak tu, mintak denda kurang, penjara kurang kononnya nak kena sara anak-anak. Masa menajamkan sabit memasing tu idok le nak menggunakan pala hotak kan?

Rape is a heinous as it is, quite munasabah jugak lah orang kena penjara sampai 20 tahun (kalau aku, tak bagi keluar dah..merasalah memasing tu merogol pokok pisang pulak kan?) but I think, for those who raped and molested their own child, counting the fact that the impact it caused the child, apasal tak ikut style Pak Arab aje, supaya direjam sampai mati? Guna apanya nak hidup lagi? Buat menakutkan budak tu aje kan? (Emo ni...)

So I hope, the judge akan maki bapak-bapak haruan ni habis-habisan, make them feel that they're the scum of the earth and rasa nak bunuh diri masa-masa tu jugak.

Buat malu Angkatan Tentera aje kan? Ada hati lak tu nak excuse pasal dah buat jasa..jaso hatuk eh!

Apa Yang Kejam

Kesian budak kat Perlis yang kena tembak dek pak polisi tu. Dengarnya, bapak budak tu nak menyaman polis. Pakcik...takziah dan SAYA SOKONG PAKCIK!!!!!! (Sambil menjerit ni..)

Budak yang mati ditembak tu, dah tentulah ada sedikit 'sakit' dalam kepala nya, kalau tak masakan dia boleh pi cakap terang-terangan kat orang yang dia nak munuh kengkawannya. Reading back, he voluntarily walked into the station. Polis kata dah pujuk dia satu jam.

Tapi masakan polis tak perasan yang dia ni bermasalah dan merbahaya kepada umum, so apasal bagi dia balik rumah ambik parang?

Polis kata, they all terpaksa tempak kerana budak tu nak memarang kan Polis. Eskius mi....polisi berapa orang? Yang mengamuknya berapa orang? Tak kan lah reramai polisi tu sorang budak berparang pun takleh handle? And, have they not got the gas pemedih mata?

It is all a bit dodgy for me. I ni bukan apa...setakat memujuk penunjuk-penunjuk perasaan yang lupa makan ubat anti-psychotic tu dah memang biasa buat. To me, selagi sipengamuks tu takde bomb tangang ke, kereta kebal ke, mazooga yang keluaq-keluaq api tu, takyah nak main tembak-tembak kan?

Polis kata nak tempak kaki aje...tapi agaknya sibudak tu melompat-lompat, maka terkenalah badan and mati. Tak kan lah polis takde latihan menembak kan? Tipu sangat lah tu.

So kesimpulannya, Polis yang memembak tu memang kejam.


***Cenekel is jenaka.

Nasihat Sesat

I ni....tergolong dalam category anak derhaka......to my parents. Pasalnya, selagi tak disound oleh adik-adik I yang hint-hint, amma and appa tertanya-tanya anak nombor 2 diorang ni whether masih idup ke idak, barulah I nak capai telepon. Tu pun cakap tak sampai lah 5 minit.

I jugak...sebab takde title kakak & adik derhaka dalam buku bahasa melayu, adalah kakak & adik yang tak hingat kat adik beradik sendiri. From time to time, me and my two sisters, we emailed each other, but that's it. Kalau takde hal-hal nak dibualkan...maka email account I ni boleh dibuat redundant gittew.

But...........I like to think that for the last couple of years, things has changed between me and my siblings and me and my parents. My work now, although I selalu war-war kan kat you all betapa menyampahnya I dengan patient-patient I tu, has taught me the most valuable lesson.

That we.........must love our parents as much as they love us. See, the later is the important bit. I think, kalau parents kita macam puaka, so...apalah gunanya nak disayang sepenuh jiwa raga. But by saying this, it's only applies to makpak yang mendera, merogol anak they all sendiri. My parents (my father) are not perfect. But he loves us (me). And I should and must return his kindness. I forgave the rotan and the slaps. I have forgotten the harsh words. And I must always remember that although badan and kaki berbirat dirotan and hati sakit dimaki, my parents will always be there for me. Unlike some of my patients...yang rata-rata nya, mak pak dah taknak.

That we.......siblings must stick together. Although for my eldest brother the 'stick' word may differ. It can be use in 'STICK up your arse' or 'I am so menyampah that I am happy to beat you up with a STICK'. Cam tu lah.

Since I am far, my two younger sisters has assumed the role of the dependable one, unlike the boys yang kebanyakan nya buat hal sendiri. Sometime I wonder if my other brother still alive, would he be the slightest different. He was the rock and maybe, my youngest brother would have a different attitude. The eldest tu jangan cakaplah....sebab dia yang sulung agaknya takde abang or kakak yang boleh sound dia kau-kau. So all this time he have live to think he has done nothing wrong, so adalah agak lambat nak melentur buluh yang dah keras macam kayu cengal.

So, recently my sisters ngadu kat I, pasal our 2 youngest siblings. Dua-dua nya memeningkan kepala my mother, so my mother ni mengadulah kat my sisters, mintak tolong nasihat, ala-ala tough love gittew, Kiah. Perangai my 2 youngest siblings ni jugaklah menjadi tajuk gossip I dengan my sisters, so when I was there recently, my sisters brought this up again and asked if kalau boleh, I pulak yang nasihat. Manalah tahu kot-kot they all nak dengar.

Ye lah. Silap orang betul lah nak mintak aku nasihat ye. I am fully sure that my youngest siblings takde organic mental health or any psychological problems, so idok le aku bercadang nak menggunakan pendekatan ala-ala Fazilah Kamsah. Buat apa? Obviously masalah perangai ni dah lama like lemak tepu, so exercise sikit-sikit ambik masa bertahun jugak nak buang lemak tu. Thinking that my mother and my sisters agaknya dah berbuih mulut cakap or bagi nasihat pesanan mesra and still tak jalan, there is no point using the same technique kan?

Kepada my brother yang bercita-cita nak jadi Kimi Raikonnen tu but dah dua tiga kali jugak masuk sepital patah riuk masih tak serik-serik, ku petirr kan dengan kata-kata, kalau kau mati terus senang. Takyah amma,appa risau-risau and sesusah pi sepital lawat/jaga kau. Why don't you do us all a favour....and drive through the wall and get killed now!!!!!

Kat yang bongsu...pun kena petirrr juga, sampai menangis. Told her the awful truth that masa makpak ada, adik beradik masih oblige nak hambik tahu kan? Tunggulah kalau makpak dah takde, kau apa nak jadi? Terussss......kembali kepangkal jalan dia.

Of course lah kan...aku dapat reputation sebagai akak garang dan berlagak. They might say...ala, mentang-mentang la...

But I told them, say what you like....but you know this is the truth.

Lepas tu, kiranya my sisters report kat I ada perubahan mendadak. And sekarang ni yang tinggal hanyalah si Cicakman tu. I said to my sisters, we can't and shouldn't do anything. Pasalnya in the past, our parents has always done something for him. So dianya tak pernah belajar menghargai apa orang buat untuk dia. We should just watch and ignore. Let him learn the hardest way. One day he'll realise that he's done nothing he can be proud of and that all this time, his saving grace is us and our parents.

Kesimpulannya...I nak bagitau kat my sisters....tak semua orang mau disedarkan. Biarlah dia. Hormat saja lah. Because until dia jatuh terjelepuk, he will always think that he is right.

Trust that I always bagi nasihat sesat kat orang.....hiks!

Saturday Thoughts

I have been wanting to write about Din and his tragedy. But on most time, I think I shouldn't since the case is on trial...and since dia pun dah mati kena bunuh,so macam tak baik lah kan?

I am not a professional writer. Hati tu ada, but janji-janji manis dengan diri sendiri nak ambik course creative writing, belajar berenang dan bermain piano, tinggal janji-janji manis. (Pun begitu..saya telah merepairkan reputation saya sebagai penjanji manis 210 karat dgn budak pandai ittew...so in between saya dok dendiam dalam bilik main game pesbuk, saya tetap melayan tetamu kat mansion saya yang sebesar bontot ungka menghadap Richmond Park...fuhhh tanak kalah ittew)

So..back to 'I'm not a professional writer' line. So, disebabkan tak professional, I do not have writing ethics, apa yang boleh tulis, apa yang takleh tulis...kecik ke hati orang yang membaca nya etc etc. But I think professional or not, asalkan saya tak ngumpat Tunku Muhriz or bercerita dalam blog things people tell me in confidence, maka...tu lah bahan blog yang takde moral ni.

Back in 2002 my sister sent me stuff from home via her flight stewardess fren. Memandangkan flight stewardess ni pun budak Paroi Jaya and kira family fren jua, aku dengan muka takmalu pi pesan kat dia, oii, boleh tak ko songlap Mingguan Malaysia for me since her incoming flight tu hari Isnin.

And I pun macam dapat makan roti jala gittew bila dapat baca MM yang didatangkan (curikan) khas oleh Malaysia Airlines. Only to get shock to see a familar face on front page.Kalau berita dia dapat pingat dari Agung ke or invented portable pharmacy ke okay lah jugak kan...the news was, he was found dead. Iya NBNS....kat longkang besar belakang tempat kita makan satay and minum vodka asam boi tu...(sure berantu lah longkang tu)

Reading the detail of the news, the gruesome discovery dengan jari yang putus and body yang hangus, I soon remember his fiance yang masa tu dah pun jadi bini dia. Cemanalah agaknya dia sekarang...

I told MB. Of course MB tak kenal siapa si Din ni because masa ni I sungguh muda remaja pre England,so manalah I kenal MB lagi kan? I told MB, I kenal this guy and my first thought was...kalau tak dia nasib malang terjumpa psycho killer or maybe dia dah kacau bini or gilfren orang and he must have upset someone crazy enough to inflict the pain on him.

I followed the case religiously...and my suspicion prevailed. However bad he was, this should not have happened.We were moving in the same circle before and he has quite a bit of a reputation. I remember him skinny and charming. He speaks as if he was god gift to women. But all confident and charming men are like that kan?

It turns out that...yes, he upset someone by making lewd proposition the person's girlfriend. Details of the event leading to his death, enough to upset every man. Din had badly misjudged the severity of his cocky-ness, if I may say. And he ended up in the longkang...lifeless.

The girlfriend in question, is a good looking, paper flunking and moonlighting GRO student. I think it is fair to say (kan Kiah?) kita orang pompuan ni..kenkadang ada jugak kena propose macam-macam dengan jantan mega gatal.Nak nak atas kapalterbang, jantan nak mintak macam-macam, janji bulan bintang, selling off himself tall (tapi tak sedar diri naik Economy, boleh?)

Some proposition can be flattering...nak nak, boifren sendiri depan mata pun nak ajak tengok wayang macam nak ajak pergi haji, but jantan lain yang takde kena mengena...sanggup going out of their way to please you (and them)

The girlfriend was one of the main suspect and was acquitted but was offered to stand trial as a prosecution witness. Macam sial...if you asked me.

Why? Kalau bukan sebab dia yang

a) Melayan (ye lah..kalau takde angin, takkan orang kentut kan?)
b) Merengek-rengek kat boyfriend kata..ada orang kacau dia
c) Paling teruk...challenged the boyfriend to prove a point... (dengarnya dia pi cakap kan boipren nya..where's your balls? Why aren't you doing anything?) Dah tahu boyfriend macam ada angin baran sikit

So, I bet she wish that the boyfriend's balls is safely tucked in her gob so that takde siapa mati and takde siapa nak kena gantung. So, on yesterday's news..the boyfriend and his partners in crime, was found guilty and is off to gallows.

So, who is the real victim here? Yes, the boyfriend.Din dah tentulah nya dah mati..dengan anak-anak yang dah takde bapak. Yes, Din may have made mistake cost him his life and the boyfriend? Having to live with his stupidity menyahut cabaran tak berhemat gf dia and to have blood in his hands. I don't think he takes pleasure in this, at all.

And what happened to the girl? Scot free. But I am sure...she is suffering with her conscious.

Let's just do this the normal way.

1. Kalau you tak pass exam, dekat 3 kali pulak tu, what does that tell you? Tukar course and maybe take a break and re sit when you're ready.
2. Kalau dah bongok exam 3 kali tak pass, one night stand offered by your lecturer to guarantee the success in your appeal, will not make any difference. Maybe, just maybe..kalau dah final year...and you desperate to pass your paper or else face financial ruin, and if lecturer ada iras-irsa Anuar Zain...meaningless sex is worth (is it?) the shot (tapi, ini bukan encouragement dari saya nah?)
3. Kalau jantan miang (unless dia kaya macam Sultan Brunei ke, Dato' K ke, abang K ke) and hanya lecture biasa lak tu (again, no offence to academician out there) yang dah berbini and beranak start menggatal dengan you, best thing is jangan layan. If you have the confidence, maybe tell him stuff that put him back in his place or kalau puaka tu tak reti bahasa sampai ke tahap harassment, report pak polisi aje.
4. Fair enough you want to tell yr boifren...tapi kalau dah tahu boifren tu ada saka rimau akar yang boleh meradang dengan sekelip mata, janganlah kau menyimbah petrol kat daun kering lak kan?
5. To men and women, cockyness won't help. Kalau orang datang jumpa you cakap jangan lah kacau gilpren/boipren dia...jawablah dengan ikhlas nya. Kalau you betul2 syok kat partner orang and you tak bertepuk sebelah tangan, tell them the truth. Jangan lak kau pi cakap...elehh...pompuan mana-mana and bini orang pun aku boleh pinjam, ni kan pulak gilpren kau. Tak ke mengundang samurai dan bom petrol tu?

To the boyfriend, I hope you succeed in your appeal and get a lighter sentence...
To Din's family, Mawar and anak-anak...Al Fatihah

To the girlfriend...I hope you're happy. For he who have loved you so much to kill and to be bertrayed.