About Me

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Bercakap Dengan Diri Sendiri

Here we are in the month of December.

Month of December jugaklah ada orang tu akan mengalami reality bite yang dia tu tua setahun dari I. Kalau tak tu sokmo tak ngaku...nak tunggu umur cukup on the dot katanya..pirrra mabuk!

Okay...I will be attending a wedding soon. Somebody very,very close to me. At this age, dengan tak ber bagage nya, attending a wedding macam nak gi belayar kat Indian Ocean, where Somalian Pirates a.k.a. sedara-mara yang bermulut lanun adalah dimana-mana.

There have been 3 weddings in the house and I attended only 2. I wasn't playing the big part like a family member did in a family wedding, macam Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, I cuma hadir tunjuk muka dan menjadi bahan sindiran my married cousins, Pakcik & Makcik.

I have a conversation with my ex yesterday. Not a good one. While one party is trying hard to patch things up. another one is happy being unattached.

I have been single since last February, after many,many years of drama. This is my 2nd long term relationship...dengan dua-dua nya tak menjadi.

I was badly messed up. I think bila kita dah jatuh terjelepuk the first time, we entered the 2nd one dengan attitude yang sangat defensive and not willing to be the doormat anymore (padahal, kenkadang tu takde nya pun orang kedua tu treat kita macam doormat pun)

So we ended up being the most difficult person for other sto put up with and blamed it on our 'complicated' self. Takdenya yang complicated pun...when you are not ready to give or when you're are not that sort of person to give...you can't give.

So...the wedding is looming and I will soon asked the same questions again. I want to be honest with people this time.

Why am I 'still' single?

Yeah..I like to be in a relationship,having people to talk to when I need to talk etc,etc.

But, there will be time that I want to be on my own, do not want to share my opinion, my space, my feelings, being horrible, anti social etc, etc.

That you can get...by being unattached.


(dan saya masih demam)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pedulik kan apo org nak kato! Makji tak bercakap dgn diri sendiri sebonar eh.. Dio sentiasa ado mendongar. Mengadu lah terus pado Dio... Get well soon Makji!

Cik Tuan Tanah said...

cik hajah, mmg begitu la all these smug-married people ni. Ade pulak tu yg tetiba amek role cupid tak bersayap ni duk match2 kan kita dgn sebarang lelaki yang melintas. And they keep saying..how's ur lovelife,tu la kau memilih sgt, bila nak kawin ni??

Kalo kita asked the smug-married ni sumthg like "Sooo..how's ur married life, still having sex?" Bole kaaa?

Anonymous said...

being single pon bestttttt....

-blue-

aking said...

Aiyoh wedd2 ni sungguh lah tidak ku berkenan nak pergi, ok tak???

meh sini, mak buat Soup Ekor kasi uols kebah demam ....i lap u lah esah(no more labe) hehehe

Ina said...

Dear Makji,

Get well soon!

Otak Delusi Pelita said...

Exactly!saya stuju!hahaha

Justiffa said...

Makji.. theres no one formula for happiness and peace of mind/soul. in the end, its our own selves that we have to deal with so for each their own :)

Take care k.

katrin saloma said...

hi esah, just dropping by to send u some luv & hugs and hope you will get well soon. Wish u the best of lucks though on the FAQ..:)
kadang2 dunia nih kejam kan. *sigh*

Manal said...

Ingatkan siri bercakap dengan jin (tamar jalis) tadi.

Makji, a little part of u died with the 1st love? But makji tetap RAWK!

Anonymous said...

Jangan beritahu masalah kita kepada sesiapa. Adukan sahaja kepada-Nya. Dia Maha mendengar. Dia menyimpan rahsia. Pasti ia tidak akan tersebar dengan mudahnya kepada sesiapa

Zsa Zsa Gabor said...

Esah,

Ko punya masalah tk teruk sgt..mak nie haha...bila ade wedding siap tanyer bila nk kawin, pastu gelak2 n smirk sbb mak nie lembut...mak kt Oz nie, rase tknk balik jer lepas abis nnti...

viola said...

being single is not a problem at all...

just because we get older..doesn't mean we should be desperate and settled for something less than what we want.

pilih selipar jamban pun kena pilih baik baik ni kan pula nak cari calon laki...takkan nak tangkap muat je

anyway sis..i salute you...