About Me

Monday, January 29, 2007

Ye laaaa....Update lah ni...

Ada jugak orang nak baca luahan hati orang macam I ni.Even I don't like to read myself.That is what happened when you too busy reading others and that will also tell you how colourful their lives is compared to yours and that will left you with the 'jaki' feelings.Maybe. In case you're asking,I have not been well.Panas dingin,panas dingin camtu that made me come to a stupid conclusions that my blood is badly contaminated with toxins and that is making me sekejap demam,sekejap baik.I'm so certain that I am physically and emotionally depressed.Kerja banyak and bertambah banyak.Buku kena baca...(tapi, baca separuh, pastu tengok 'Frasier' berulang-ulang sampai penat and then tidur.Productive sungguh hidupku.
Realising that my life is heading somewhere unhealthy, I decided to play/be a good and caring loving partner by making way to Finsbury Park earlier than usual so that I can spend a long weekend.So, bila kat rumah orang, access to computer sungguhlah limitednya.Frankie have this idea that bila I dah pakai computer, I dengan automatic nya akan meng 'ignore' dirinya itu. Kalau ada access pun, ada time limit lagi...1/2 hour or 1 hour the most and not a minute more.Disebabkan tak nak nya berlaku percikan air liur yakni bergaduh, kuturutkan jua kehendak situa itu.But when you think about it, what is the point of spending time together kalau aku asyik nak ngadap pc aje? Partnership is about give and take kan?
I have a unconventional taste in a partner.While people usually go for security,looks and what not, I tend to go for people that I can have a debate with.People with wisdom to guide aku yang kurang wisdom ni.It sounded well snobbish but I can't help to to want that 'type' of people.I really disliked people doing small talk, not that I dislike them people but I just tak rajin with 'madah-madah berhelah' ni. My current partner and my previous person always been as direct as I expected and I somehow find the direct talk rather brave and intelligent.People often asked 'how can you tahan that' and 'if I were you, lama dah aku bagi notice kat dia'. I must admit that certain people can only tolerate a certain level of directness but somehow,if we don't exercise this,we will not know what else can come in our way.I like to see the worst in people first as that, I know what to expect in a long run.But one thing you must know that, enduring a bumpy ride is uncomfortable and you don't know if its going to be bumpy all the way.And if you're into this,you have got to have The Beatles by your side rendering 'All You Need Is Love' all the way through.
The beauty of my relationship is that I can say what is in my head and expect anything without any fear.We both hurt each other with the things we said but I can't remember us talking ourselves out of it.Because of that, every time we argue and argue bad, I expect the worst and then when we start talking again,no one will ever apologise because we have argued the things we want to argue.But satu yang I paling tak tahan is the sarcasm.Take this tip, if you can't take mild sarcasm with people around you,janganlah nak ber partner kan orang putih.Lainlah if you have serious hearing impaired.
I talked through my worries with my partner, how I think that I'm in the brink of being depressed.It is very important that you involve your partner in the time like this because kalau dah sakit nanti,yang akan kena tempiasnya dia jugak kan? And we both agreed that the first thing that I have to cleverly manage is my time. What I did on last Friday is to plan my weekly personal time table and I have to commit to it like my commitment to Diet Coke.My new life plan involves :-
Weekdays, I must be up by 5.45 am, personal care and breakfast.This must be done in a good time pace, and by 7.00 am, I must be down by the stop depan rumah and menunggu bus 481 dengan sabar. I must tell the people that I'm working with that if I am meant to consult them for an hour,I have to finish talking/listening when it reached 1 hour.The most important thing is to adhere my working hours.I'm doing 2 work in one and I have to be very careful as it can be draining.At the end of my working day, I have to exercise non-stop for 1/2 hour until I sweat out all the toxins.Then I will shower and after that is a me,me time (blogging,tengok TV what not) and must be in bed by 10.30 pm.
This will affect many pleasurable things like ...like...but put it this way, if you hardly see me around, then you know that it is not that I am ignoring you,it is because there's is things that need doing first than this.
But blogging is always my clandestine pleasure at work.You are all beautiful people.I must not lose touch with all of you.
Happy Mondays.

6 comments:

Lee Novotny said...

Yes, u ols Happy Mondays and Happy Weekdays as well. Poor u! Like u said, kalau mak lah..memang dah lama dah mak blah je but I suppose u are a strong will person and at the end of the day, you both probably need each other so much that none of you would even dare to be part from each other. Lagipun, who's the one initiate for you both to be bound by the law? Frankie jugak,kan?

Yes u ols, British sarcasm nih mmg lahanat jugak. Kalau yang dinch hui fasal org Brits nih, baik berhati hati kalau nak berboyfriend kan depa..very der sial sometimes sarcasm depa. Mujur mak dah kenal Avang dari dulu lagi...kalau tak mmg mak pun asik makan hati ulamkan jantung!

p/s Nok, bila nak berbors bors about kedatangan Toh Puan Sri Ustazah Emiritus Bellabunny nih??

pp/s Avang is sending the letter to those people and will quote your address if that's okay

Han said...

Haiyoo...haruslah uols..kita mesti bermeeting tentang kedatangan Ustazah ittew.Malam ni, bolehlah call, dah takde commitment dgn BB kan? Anak tiri omak sehat ke?

lekiu said...

Evolutionary logic dictates that humans choose partners based on looks and security since humans are pre programmed for reproductive purposes. Nice to know that you have confounded evolutionary logic by choosing passion over the usual suspect. He must really be something special for you to tahan all the gaduh gaduh.

I wish you well on your strict discipline to manage time. I dont think I am able to stick to a strict regime. Someone once told me that I have a tendency to attract crisis and that I love chaotic nature and it has something to do with my past.

I just thought it has more to do do with freedom.

I pun suka Frasier. He and his brother seem the very anti-thesis of the father kan ? He is so uptight and competitive... they say these kind of people have been brought up removed from mother's love...hahah.. dont know whether that is true of people who are uptight !

Got to go to work now. Have a nice day ahead.

Han said...

LeQ, I honestly think that the producers of 'FRasier' is making a mockery out of the Freudster & Jungster, and somehow manage to make it intelligently funny.The boys are very close to their mother and somehow trying their very best to win their father's attention now that mummy is dead.

My new life time table? Check it out and enjoys le.

:: samasam :: said...

u sleep 10.30 pm everyday including weekend nite ke beb? is it? but for me, kdg2 mmg susah la nak fix time kan pukul ni buat apa. this time lak kena buat apa sbb i nih jenis org yg cepat bosan. masa time nak buat berkobar2 but then at the end, stuck , then habis mcm tuh jerk.. hmm... tataula..thats y la i still berada di kompeni lama for most 3 tahun ++ nak masuk 4 tahun ..and selalu gakla merungut kerja ni bosanla, gaji ciput la etc etc..walhal boleh je kalau i set up my mind and work for it utk berpindah ke kerja baru yg lebih decent ... hmmm...hmmm....

Belladonna said...

Alangkah bagusnya kalau aku ni berdisplin cam ko..