About Me

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Unwanted Transformation?

Miss South Africa merangkap Supir ku

As I will not be seeing any patient until minggu baru,the sewel's that I have to watch now is only me.My container or outside of a psychotherapy world is called 'batu jemala','kepala otak bersabut' or anything yang sewaktu dengannya,is empty with transference thoughts.What keeps coming and going is my non the usual stupid one.Semalam cari pasal dengan MCKK boys, hari ni pulak dengan 'once a happenings soul that is now converted to makciks'.Dua 3 hari lagi macam ni, habislah aku takde kawan. Yes you all, masalah dunia I hari ni ialah I sangat curious kenapa some really,really cool chick, after kahwin,terus diri mereka yang cool itu ter transformed ke arena kemakcik-makcikkan.

First,I wish to thank Samasam for his cute Xmas card.Ayoo..tell you, your Xmas card was the cun'est among the selebeks.Sorrylah yeah.I ni ada weird taste sikit.Xmas card yang sungguh classy by Belladonna's standrad is selebeks to me.I suka happy-happy cartoon card.That is so mirroring my 'imbecile' self that is by regular standard, major lunatic.I tell you,until I was 27, I still enjoy pakai T shirt Disneys until my cousin tegur I, Kau nanti raya takyah buek baju kurung lah...pakai lah T shirt katun kau tu.I tell you at that time I feel like she is the biggest babi in the world carut-carut I macam tu.But in the end, the inner vanity calls sinks in.SelamatTinggal Baju-Baju Kartun.Yang tinggal cuma my Winnie The Pooh pyjamas yang ku belicuri-curi kat Debenhams 4 years ago.

Back to my stupid thoughts.What brought it on? Masa raya that day,I decided to send a raya card to a huge list of my female school gang.There used to be 10, sorang meninggal lepas beranak,sorang lagi...baru jumpa after reunion..tup tup..dengar dah passed away pasal asthma attack.That left us with 8. We were very,very close.Dari boarding school to the preparatory college.Haluan terbangan aje lain-lain.I am particularly very close with one yang sekarang ni dah jadi orang penting in UMW in KL.She was my private counsellor.I insist on keeping in touch with her.In fact, she was the only one that I called when my brother passed away.I was so surprised she pat my back masa tengah-tengah baca yassin tu.Punyalah semangat perkahwanan yang tinggi,dia cari jugak rumah I even tak tau address.Baik kan dia?

Last year, when I returned to KL to renew my passport, I bumped into another gang yang now ni dah jadi penternak anak yang berjaya.4 anak dia.She was on her way to Australia, ikut laki.We were so excited jumpa, and terus borak-borak sambil dikelilingi oleh anak-anak dia yang sungguh curious itu.My friend is so grown up mentally,her eyes glows talking about her 'suri rumah' life.I suddenly feel so awkward.I was like this muda belia girl and here with me is Makcik anak 4.I have to say she look better now.Very serene looking.Still makcik, but a likeable makcik.From her,I gained access to other girls.As my time was so short that time, we only managed telephone calls.You know what, the rest,without me looking,also sounded Makciks.I wonder how Mulut Tayar Bas look right now.She is still single and have not embark on Makcikland yet.Supposedly.

I am going to be 34 this week.Bukan nak cakap besar ya (tapi nak cakaplah jugak) whenever I renew my travelcard,the Tube Station people always give me the CHILD rate instead of an adult.I still get ask an ID bila pergi pub.Masa I balik KL, when I drive my sisters car and got hit from behind,the celaka man who hentak my back bumper annoyingly ask, Bapak tak marah ke kereta dia kemek...I was subconsciously treated like the young one bila I balik Malaysia last year.My cousins,sisters, relatives dah semuanya berborak pasal laki,anak,mekap or anything related to household.What happened to Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp?

These Makcik I knew was once upon a time the happening one.In school,at the back seat of our class, before the lesson started, we would ketuk meja and nyanyi all that Rock songs...Wings (Lama mana lagi..hendak ku turut kan...bla..bla..) Bumiputera Rockers (Keunggulan cinta..dari sinar mata yang bergeloraaaaaaaa) compare our 'ekor' and doing loads of cool stuff.When we were at PPP, we were planning massive escape to town, pergi Piccad kat Damansara Jaya sinun to joget-joget,merancang program pembalasan dendam terhadap boifren-boifren yang jahat,menipu buat assignment and the lot.Masa tu,perangai masing-masing macam George W Bush, who think he owns the world.Hah...nothing gonna stop us now...gitu.

But now,my coolest friend dah lah berdressing,berhairstyle makcik,cakap pun ala-ala makcik until I feel like,should I start salam cium tangan ke tunjuk hormat kat orang-orang tua? One of the gang is currently doing her PHD,is now a confirmed Makcik.When we lepak in London recently, she began tu wonder,apa dah jadi dengan my bikini yang 2 piece itu? And she kept saying how she wish she can dress like me.Why me? Nak ikut style dressing, ikutlah Trinny & Sussannah tu...I ni kan style orang Tua nak balik Muda?

I even notice this transformation in my 2 sisters yang younger than me,dah berlaki and beranak. We can never berborak like when we were younger.Macam ada standard code pulak. When I balik that day, as a kakak yang baik, I belikan lah my sister all that stuff from Dorothy Perkins, GAP, Next and ZARA. All macam segan-segan nak pakai.When I asked why, semua takut laki tak suka and takut orang mengata.I cakaplah, bukannya aku belikan kau spaghetti strap ke, tube sempit ke sampai orang Jabatan Agama nak datang kejar.It just a normal unprovoked clothing. In the end, yang untung my younger sister lah. Yang so called 'dah tua' semuanya takut nak pakai. Puas I pujuk, taknak jugak.

I often heard women moaning about their reluctant reformation as Makciks after making the decision to glued themselves to men for the rest of their lives. Their effusion seems genuine. It wasn't a regret. It sounded like 'God, why I am like this' kind of thing. But why? You can still be married and beranak and maintain your status quo as a 'Cool Chick' yang walaupun dah berlaki tapi kalau keluar beronggeng, proudly can still do the 'satu pergi seribu mari' attitude. Of course I can understand the hectic life bila dah keluar offspring. Nak mandi pun susah.If you can 'layan' your abang dibalik timbunan kain yang tak berlipat or pinggan bertingkat tak berbasuh,you should consider yourself lucky. Women are quite lucky now that new age men (thanks to their mother) rajin menolong.Tolong pergi pasar, tolong basuh baju and lipat kain.My father? Lipat kain? My mother dalam pantang pun disuruhnya buat air. It is so good to have another pair of hand to assist you with your maternal duties and able to organise your 'me' time.Husbands nowadays are so sporting that allow their wives tu keluar jumpa-jumpa kawan and bergumbira. By having your me time, I suppose that women can postpone their journey towards Makcikness.

I don't know if this is a common 'social exchange theory'.Exchanges, as I guessed can be identified in all type of sexual relationships,ranging from the explicit kind to the implicit exchange between couple yang dah kahwin bertahun-tahun.I also suspect that this unwanted transformation ada bau-bau taik with to whom we are married.(Like me, married si Tua tu, mentality pun jadi tua...tapi masih maintain youth looks) The quality of a partner and type of relationship we end up think we deserve.And these comparisons are not left behind after we've committed to a relationship-they are ongoing process that continues for the rest of our romantic lives.

So I thought, feeling Makciks is all about social score.How to work it? The desirability rating that others assign to us is based on a set of judgements across a range of criteria. This process is subjective,so it is so impossible to know your score.It is also depend on who you hang out with.Nak nampak muda selalu, hang out lah dengan Heaven or Lee Novotny.Sure you can preserve your 'ayu'.You may rate highly on the measures below in your own group,but if you start comparing yourself with Angelina Jolie,you are automatically start deducting marks.Your score depends on who you're with and your stage of life.By being aware of this,you can work out your strength and weaknesses and adapt to the right attitude accordingly.So, until you are ready to be a Makcik, as in Makcik-Makcik look, continue being your cool usual self.You don't have to Makcikkan yourself just because you married to a Pakcik type of husband.

The concept of romantic hierarchy is as old as love itself.Dating a variety of people is a way to work out this league and assess possible partners.When we meet a potential mate,we make a whole suite of judgements about their social status,intellect,attractiveness and other attributes and hence their suitability to us.

Selamat berjaya.


Lee Novotny said...

Tolongggg!!! Mak tak bersalah!!! ***matilaa buat promosi mak & Coco kan????

Well u do look young..I suppose since we ols dah menahun kat sini, pancaran cahaya matahari pun tak berapa kena so, our skin is preserved gittew..lainlah mat saleh diorang takdelah awet muda sgt,kan??? We are so lucky! **matilaa kekwat!

I do wish I can always bring Avang to stay at my parents' house kat Malaysia..jumpa sedara mara semua..tapi apa kan daya, it could not happen sebab persepsi masyarakat..lainlah kalau mak ni fomfuen tlin bawak balik laki mats aleh (walaupun diorang atks ker) tapi acceptable, kan??? **maaflah melalut lak dah u ols cakap fasal kawin laaa.. kuarga laaaa..:)

p/s cakaplah besday u ols tuh bila!!! Stubbornlah u ols nih!!!! :P

makcik girang said...

it is just a phase la..nak buat camno.. kang dressing cam anak daro di kata andartu desperate lak kang... tapi semakcik2 i pun, bila i kat australia depa pun kata i ni baru 15 tahun.. sebab diorang nyer muka and size kot! but i always take it as an insult , tak matured ke i.. haa gitu plak i rasa..

ok jangan mare!

Belladonna said...

Aku rasa sejak aku gemuk ni, taste baju aku pun dah ke arah-arah makcik gemuk haa!!!!!! Shirt,shirt,shirt!! Tu je yang nampak presentable on me. Kasihanilah diriku yang sebesar Winnie the Pooh ini.

Aku masih boleh pakai t-shirt, but kalau duduk tu nampaklah perut aku yang dah berlipat-lipat ala origami ni. Akan ku usahakan juga menurunkan barang sekilo dua supaya nampak muda sket cam uols.(Ni semua salah gym umah yang ditutup sebulan for renovation *matilah kena bebel Han nanti, hihihihi*).

Memang banyak woman out there yang 'terlupa' untuk pamper diri sendiri & to have 'me' time esp. bila dah berumahtangga. I assumed it's due to too much expectation (adat, society perception etc) and bz managing hidup berkeluarga.

Aku takde anak, so aku tak taulah cemana rupa aku in future kalau dah beranak berderet-deret. Tapi yg pasti, aku rasa i still want to look good for my better half, my kids and faling fenting myself :)

Oleh ittew persetankan taste laki kita dan orang lain yang mengharap weols to look ke-makcik2-an after embarking into dunia marriage, janji we look good. Bak kata Sheila Majid, "Jangan sampai tuaaaa, sebelum waktunya!!!"

P/S: Itukah rahsia awet muda uols, Lee dan Heaven? Kat sini mana ada 4 seasons... emm, maybe lepas ni aku akan memasukkan kepala aku dalam fridge setiap hari for 10 minutes, bley? Hihihihi

Han said...

Aduhai Makcik Girang...terasa I.

Betullah Lee,kita ni awet muda sebab tak banyak matahari kot.Habislah balik Malaysia pasni payung tak lepas.

Bella, hah...sungkupkan lah kepala mu dlm freezer.Harus nampak ayu.Pastu makanlah jamu rapet ya?

Lee Novotny said...

Kann??? mak very der Queen of Candles..ehh Princess of Candles kata orang orang tua, leyy???


makcik girang said...

hang kan dah ada partner , apa lak terasa..isk sorry ler tapi itu la statement yang makcik dapat kalau terlebih bergaya non!