At some occasion,this activity is fun.Depending on 'kekamcengan' you and them.To tell you the truth,I am not 'kamceng' with anyone.I may know people base on my connection with them but not necessarily on talking terms with them.It is like you know you parents have siblings.Their siblings got children that made them your cousins.You may know this uncle, aunt and their maybe 3 or 4 kids.In my case,knowing their existence is good enough.For that I know and they know that we are not suppose to hit on one another if we were to cross path,because we are related.My excuse for not knowing them to well is because I spent substantial amount of my growing up time away from my relative.I know in myself that I know them,I know their name and I know to which family they belong to.When we were kids,we were forced to shake hands but as we grow older,we just shake hands,asking things that may make us look like we care about one another (but we don't) and parted way after that.
Since I live away, my connection to my relatives in through my mother.They asked after me and I heard I want to know about them from my mother.I choose who I want to visit and keep in touch.There's a past history that made me a vindictive person.I'm not sure I still am but I rather not cross that bridge anymore.I may forgive but I don't forget easily.As I am still very much grieving over the past,it is so hard to find any spare forgiveness to ease away the relationship.
3 years ago,my very close cousin and her husband were over here doing some studies.They also managed to find time to produced baby in between books.She was the one that I hardly talk to because of,
a) She never likes me and call me sombong because I don't talk to her. (Why can't she come and talk to me if she wants to talk to me?) It is so funny kan, when people easily labelled you sombong just because you don't talk to them.To me lah, if you really want to talk to the person, approach lah dia.Jangan tunggu orang datang rumah you,because some people (like me) ada yang malas nak jalan-jalan rumah orang and kalau dah malas nak jumpa orang tu,tak adalah cerita kan? Ohh..she is so bodoh making assumption like that.Because of what she said (sombong), I pun live up to her expectation lah.I told you, I'm very vindictive, you call me sombong, oh yes..I can be doubly sombong with you.
b) She was the one who tak habis-habis berkompang sekampung about how she is about to end her single life and marry this so called perfect man.Inadvertently suggesting that my life is meaningless because tak berlaki.I tell you,tuhan punya kuasa kan.Kompang kuat sangat,her then ex fiance's was cheating on her.She married her current husband and only dapat anak after 6 years of marriage.This is the same cousin who told me that how I waste my life away pasal takde anak.Cakap besar, kau pun hampir tak beranak!!!
c) Well, her whole family is annoying anyway.This are the type of person got the chance to see Disneyland and will talk about it for the next 20 years.macam kau sorang ajelah yang duduk USA.
Nak jadikan cerita,she contacted me prior coming to the UK.Nak berbaik-baiklah.Well,that is so silap because I do not tread well on plastic build relationship.Can you imagine the situation where you know this people who never have nice things to say about you tiba-tiba nak baik-baik pulak tanya khabar bagai and hope to do more things together with you.Curiga lah kan? I can only do my usual self, hmm..hmm..hmm..okay..okay...no promises that I will participate in their anticipated rendezvous.
My life was hell when she was here.She appointed herself as my father informer (she is my paternal side family) Not only that, she always making this plan that 'involves' without asking me.In the end, she probably got tired and fed up as I simply tak layan.I never invited her to my house as my private remain my private and knowing very well that she is going to snoop on every corner of my life. Her parents came at one point and I just see then 'when I have the time'.Bukan sombong, but that is the fact.I become my own person now and they can't just ask me to drop everything to pergi mengadap them.But then, dalam hati-hati keras tu,I terkenang my mother.You tau lah orang kita,when they can't attack you, they attack you parents...Mak Bapak mana yang tak kecik hati bila orang mengata anak mereka.As a goodwill gesture,I bawak jugaklah they all pergi shopping.Celaka.Nak kasut Clarke lak tu.Beli ajelah.Still I didn't invite them to my flat.I do not have time to entertain,what good will it do if I bawak you datang rumah I? Ingatkan dah dapat kasuk Clarke 2 pasang,diamlah kan...tak jugak.A month after,I called my sister and my sister told me that the moment they all tu touch down,terus jumpa my mother and tunjuk kasut that I bought for diorang.Kompang lagi as if,ohh..your daughter bought me shoes and didn't get you any.Tak cukup dengan menghiris-hiris hati orang tua tu,ada pulak cerita yang kononnya my life in England ni macam mystery sangat sampai nobody know where I live, suggesting to my parents yang I might be hiding something.
Kenapalah tak sensitive sangat bila membuat cerita tu? I can imagine that it is not easy for any parents yang ada anak duduk kat oversea.Dah lah sebatang kara,tak tau sakit ke,cukup makan and most importantly selamat ke? Tak fikir ke perasaan orang bila sedap-sedap aje buat cerita-cerita tak betul ni? Ni lah satunya yang I tak tahan perangai orang melayu ni.Bangga sokmo dapat mencucuk jarum,dapat menyusahkan hati orang.Bukanke baik mendoakan kesejahteraan kita kat negara orang ni yang manalah tau tiba-tiba pergi kerja and bus pulak kena bomb dek terrorist?
Until they left England for good, my space remained my space.My cousin tu beranak pulak masa tengah-tengah belajar.Nak beli diapers pun susah.I kesian kadang-kadang sedekah jugak duit and barang rumah.I think masa tu lah kot my cousin yang once upon a time macam celaka ni tiba-tiba tersedar and ternampak cahaya-cahaya kebenaran.Dia tak pernah lagi mengata I lepas peristiwa tu.I think she can now live with the fact that I memang macam ni.I do what I please and I don't talk when it is not necessary for me to talk.
I don't know any of my relatives that is that nice.Maybe there are some but we have not seen each other in ages.I hope they are well.I am still what I am.Still not talking until you talk to me first.Bukan sombong it is just I'm not a good ice breaker.
Speaking of entertaining relatives,Liza's cousin came from Aberdeen recently and god,we have so much fun, in terms of makan-makan sampai koyak perut.I'm sure that there are still nice relatives somewhere in the kuak-kuak ikan tu.
To my dearest friend, Happy 41st birthday.We will have fun.
Kepada Hjh Coco Chanel,thanks for the pressie.DVD apa tu nok? Porno ke? Makji ni semenjak buat part time kelas fardu ain and mengajar muqaddam ni sibuk tak tentu arah.Mana nak layan Pakji kau lagi, haiyooh!!! Bila birthday you? Harus aku panggil stripper.