The Jahat Thought

One of my workmate tendered her resignation 2 weeks ago.She have been with us over 2 years now and I remember placing her under my wings when she first started.Unlike me, she is very qualified but because of the language difficulties and the clash of many attitudes,she remain the back burners of the team.Apart from working difficulties, she is a very,very nice person.

The procedure of leaving in this company is as the same as joining.You have to endure the interview, only this one is an exit interview.They want to know why people are leaving them.It looks like they care.If you work anywhere in the UK, where the human health is concern, there is always a watertight procedure.You have amassed truckloads of information and now that you want out,they will wonder what will you take with you.Bureaucracy.

The only thing that I am always not prepared to handle is dealing with human resources.I can never see myself in that department at all.People say it is easy now that I'm into all that psychological shit and talking people into and out or getting things in and out of people is easy.I really think that is a stupid speculation that people can't help themselves with and should stop right now.

Majority of my close friends (attention...tak banyak mana pun sebenarnya) are now a well heeled people in their own rights, we go to school together since we were very young,we attend that Section 6 college and we were scattered around this pear shaped land to get validation of what we studied for.Some of us didn't make it. Ada yang fail cam nak mampus (aku la tu) and ada pulak yang lost interest.As I have said many,many times, I'm not very good at holding a relationship with another people, be it kawan-kawan pun.Only a few from before that although we only say hi to each other as and when we have time,I know somehow we still share the bond.They remain close to each other and never forget to keep me in the loop.

Back to what really is making my head tinged.The resignation of this Poles lady and some indirect inquisition that I made about some people.This lady all this while dah bagitau semua orang yang dia nak blah apart from me.Even my Placement Manager pun tau, I yang hari-hari jumpa dia pun tak tau.Over couple of months ago,I can feel that some of my 'veteran' team tak puas hati of my over special treatment to Miss Nigeria.Miss Nigeria is now my deputy and I'm quite happy to longgok all my workloads to her.She seems happy but I know she would rather Be one of the Pixar Animated Visualiser rather than educating the oracle.The Poles being very qualified in what we do,feel sidelined.It is sad but you can't help it if you really are 'below par', however over educated you are.

The way of thinking often made one different from others.Education is a base but never a tool.You can have all educated one in a room but after all only realised that they are all the same.I can be one of the same.But somehow,I am really choosy of people.I told this Poles of what I think of her resignation and how I have no intention to 'talk her out of it'.The frequencies of 'is this what you really want' and 'what do you hope to achieve' sentence is all the way through used.What ever profession or career you choose, do you ever think of what you want out of it? Money can always be a strong motive to hold a job, but self satisfaction, ambition and to be the best of what you does, tu semua tak termasuk ke?

I have expectation of people.And I welcome people expectation of me.In working wise, we just have to and I believe having expectation in relationship as well.On the whole, it may look as if we work for people.Literally it is.Or when you become friends with others, you somehow wanted 'validation' and 'acceptance'.But it is not.You got your acceptance when they replied your 'hi' and you got your validation when you started talking.After that, you and the other person have to work on what you want in your 'relationship'.With work or with human.If your friends is avoiding you,that is the first sign to acknowledge that your 'relation' is tak memberangsangkan.Or, they just a busy bastards.

This may sound like shit.But this is what that works.If you can't get want you want or if the working or human relationship did not come out beneficially good,you can then tell if its working or not.Yours arrogantly.