Hello again.I have been annoyingly busy at work.There's rather plenty of soul that is affected at this time of the year.Year end thing.I sensed that our Lee is feeling it too,judging from what he wrote.Many of us are feeling so vulnerable at this time of the year.It is true but hard to swallow that our vulnerability are about how we feels about our self at this time. We become and feeling very apprehensive about what we did and what will the future brings in the year to come,especially those who happened to have a 'bad' year. As much as people like to say 'see how things goes', honestly, what they really want is to know exactly what will be in store for them rather than to see how things goes. We don't like riddle, as much as we want to call ourselves a hedonist.
The anxieties of the unconscious (the one with learning difficulties and mental incapacities) are trebled. I was asked a lot for a 'talk' and all I'm hearing is a same thing.Emotional Inequilibrate. Every single aspect that related to the month of December seems to contributes to the fact of having our psychological incomprehension. We usually start to ponder our life for the last 11 months since our last ponder. We are so gatal to question ourselves are we happy with what was done,achieved and happened.The anxiety then escalates and is making you more anxious about your future.For those who can and willing to understand will do themselves heaps favour by accepting things the way it is but for troubled one,new year means new anxieties.There is not a bit of cognitive understanding of life,how things move and happen.
Things that I ponder the most in December is my relationship and my work. I have been very stressful of ever growing extra responsibilities. I have been trying to think of a solution. I never found one. My relationship? Against all rational, I decided to legalised my relationship with my partner this year.Apart from loving each other like mad,we also done it for security reason. (I'm not at all convinced by this!!!) We have had a terrible time together owing to my insecurities and Frankie's pride.Stupid stuff.We are still working out our 'stuff'.Not easy.Loads of sakit hati.But like others that are committed,we still trying to rescue and protect our union.
One of the most destructive elements in relationship is contempt.People who are happily married like each other,of course they do.But fondness and admiration can be fragile unless you remain aware of how crucial they are to the friendship that is at the core of any good partnership.By simply reminding yourself of your partner's positive qualities - even if you grapple with each other's flaws - you can prevent a happy relationship from deteriorating.Without the fundamental belief that your partner is worthy of honour and respect, where is the basis for any kind of rewarding relationship?
There are many couples whose respect and friendship have receded to barely detectable levels,but they can be rescued. The route of bringing them back always begins with realising how valuable they are.They are crucial to the longterm happiness of the relationship because they prevent contempt from becoming an overwhelming presence in your life.Contempt is corrosive that, over time, breaks down the bond between partners.The better in touch you are with your deep-seated positive feelings for each other, the less likely you are to act contemptuously towards your partner when you have a difference of opinion. Even positive feelings that have long been buried can be revived simply by thinking and talking about them.You can do this by thinking about what makes you cherish your partner.
Some books that I read (motif suka baca tips-tips membahagiakan rumahtangga?) suggest that we think 3 things you like about your partner when you first met....(Frankie....very intelligent,dry sense of humour and passionate)
What are the 3 qualities you most admire about your partner? (sama seperti diatas)
Think of an ocassion in which your partner displayed one of those admirable qualities...(When I balik kerja penuh stress)
I'm not sure if this work.But you can try.Let me know if yours work.
My thoughts are with you.