About Me

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Good & Bad

Air Laut Bournemouth Yang Tenang,Jangan Disangka Tak Ade Jaws....Memang Takde Pun

My anxiety for life is above average this past weeks.Hard to say.The organisation that I currently work with, not is so many words of info to its employees,is having a massive organisational restructuring. I keep getting memo about some key people that decided to land their feet on a better grass and soil.We get nasty email too,from the disgruntled one like those who works in the payroll, as if we are some kind of dead wood still harping in here while they set off elsewhere much better.Pigi dahh...when are they going to learn that work mana-mana pun sama, orang aje yang lain-lain.If you have a problem with work, you change job.If you don't like the people you work with (of which we usually do) you can either blahh..or if you sre still passionate about your job, find a way to put up with the mangkuk ayun without affecting your mental health.In the end, we still do the same job, but with people we less dislike.Do I like the people I work with? I'm not so sure.My team are marvellous.I rendered a speech last night thanking them (my clients and my team) for their support.2006 was tough, as at 16th December (and more to come next week...touch wood) We received threats from an ex employee who want to sue us (and still does), we got a POVA test (Protection Of Vulnerable Adults) twice with one even saw us through the allegations of gravely endangering our clients life, staff disciplinary issue that he in the end got dismissed and few more.Can I moan more? I wish I can...but I won't bothered as by choice,I don't do anything about it.Why moan if you don't want to change or do anything about? Maybe, I am not that happy with the people that I work for.But I'm sure they are not all evil.Sometimes, it it just business.

Physically, I have not been good that much. I went home and came back with chicken pox, I got pneumonia that after 2 weeks turned into bronchitis and my body lost the enormous amount of its Vitamin D.

Emotionally, I don't know but I can feel the the transference from psychic to somatic. All the stress has unconsciously taking its toll on my back passage and god know how many times I have had to sodomised the suppositories into it. (Ish..ni pun nak cakap)

The happy part is I attended my unit Xmas party last night and took part in a 'sexy' dancing that succeeded to waged some tongue.We took turn doing so called line dancing in a circle and show our 'stuff'.Macam hebat,but biasa-biasa aje.None of the big boss turned up (they got better party to go to) and we helped ourselves to the foods tremendously.(Habis lah diet) I realised that these are best people to work with.Adalah a few yang suka ambik kesempatan.Tak apalah. Inilah susahnya if you are emotionally trained to handle people. You don't show your real feeling and at the same time, the abuser open themselves to be easily analysed by you. Or me. Moral nya, jangan abuse orang because by abusing, you open yourself wide to be read and your weakness is easily recognised. Cepat kalah. Look at the former politician who resort to abused their power,tengoklah betapa cepatnya mereka itu tergolek dog. I do have my reservations on people tetapi selalu jugak kena tipu. Yang sedih tu, I know when I'm being manipulated, tapi sebab kesian, dibiarkan saja. Manipulator selalunya takde or kurang self esteem,if you let it blow up on his/her face,apalah yang tinggal nanti. But I believe,the manipulator will not be blissfully happy and the people whom they manipulated will ended up having a last laugh. Sedap betul balas dendam emotionally ni. Okay..back to analysing people. It is actually bad to analysed people because it makes you becomes aware of their loop. I have to confess that I become so teruk lately and started to 'analysed' people in this sphere. I have this imagination (base on what I saw) about this particular male. There is so many things between his line. I read his post and I even read his comments on other bloggers. He appears very interesting but as much as he tried to be, he is a very,very shelled in his own vanity. I also read of what people think of him when they met him in person. Just as I thought.

He can be more happier if he stops thinking bad of himself.He excessively love himself as he thinks nobody loves him.Loving yourself is actually a good defence mechanism, just don't let the feeling warped you. Jahat betul I,salah-salah sangka ni,tapi dengan bongkaknya,I never analyse wrong.Tapi janganlah takut,I only did this once.I only analyse if I get paid.

Another happier bit apart from my LJ yang irritable,this morning, I received my naturalisation permit that allows me to enjoy the same rights are other BC.I was so happy that I feel like want to balik KL sekarang jugak,because I miss my parents.I have two baby nice and nephew yang baru diproduced tapi dah pandai hantar card kat I mintak macam-macam.Hantu lah mak bapak yang mengajar tu.

Life is good if you are surrounded by nicer people. Sometimes I wish my partner can be nice, bila I nak dia jadi nice.But some people will work things out and some just don't know how to change and let the water runs so dry.

Before this end (ohh...I nak tengok Ex Factor live uolss...haruslah Leona tu menang kan, Heaven?) I would like to congratulate Uncle Aziz (Liza's uncle) yang akhirnya put an end to his duda status today. Dengarnya kenduri kahwin meriah skalsss.

Happy thoughts, uols.


Lee Novotny said...

First of all congrats on natralisations ittew...u know what, it took me four years them days to get approval!!! U ols are lucky! :) Congrats!!!

Secondly, semoga LJ mu s=cepat sembuh..krim masuk ke dalam ittewlah yang terbaik..bukan pakai sapu sajork :P **matilaa experience

Thirdly, Go Leona Go!!!! Leona To win!!! God..I missed he I have Nothing performance last weekend due to Xmas party in Manchester but saw that in YouTube and by God....she's the best thing to appear ever on X-Factor or even Pop idol.

p/s sapokah jejaka ittew yg u ols sebut sebut ittew? nak kata mak, takaknlah piula sebab mak ni kan fomfuen :P

miss coco chanel said...

yessssssssss LEONA menang!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s:siapakah aziz ittew? aziz sattar kaa??

lekiu said...

Your subject under observation seem to be very contradictory. He seem to have 2 sides of himself. Two comments I would like to make"-

1. "very, very shelled in his own vanity". Very nice interplay of words. The person under observation appear to be hiding emotionally yet vain as well.

2. "He can be more happier if he stops thinking bad of himself.He excessively love himself as he thinks nobody loves him. Loving yourself is actually a good defence mechanism". I would have thought that someone who do not feel loved tend to have self destructive tendencies. But your subject seems to feel unloved yet is able to shield himself from hurt by loving himself excessively.

You mentioned about your wish that your partner change. We all enter into relationship hoping to change our partners, most of the time, we tend to change since we realise we are not able to change our partners.

Han said...

LeQ Dearest,
Therapist don't usually announce who they want to observe during working hours, however, one subconsciously 'want' to be observe by others and by wanting so, exhibit some unique behaviours hoping to be notice and judged.And of course,as a stealth exhibitionist,the person we observe will will have their action speaks,without we asking.My words does mean how it intended to explain.I do not have the excellent capability like yours to interplay words...though I hope so.

2nd comments,'I would have thought that someone who do not feel loved tend to have self destructive tendencies. But your subject seems to feel unloved yet is able to shield himself from hurt by loving himself excessively'.Most people know where to expect love from,and we must know that there's a different kind of love to be expected from different individuals.Self destruction behaviour would usually appear if love was interpreted wrongly.As such,destruction is an act of sheer frustration.My statement merely referring to an individual that want to be loved by whom he is expected to, but as you must know again, we can't make ppl love us and therefore,we have no choice by loving ourself unconditionally.Tetapi...we are advisably must nor have that 'eccentric' expectation of ppl.You get me? Hope you do.

When you say 'we', do you mean you? Although that is a spot n point, psychological world never encourage us to represent others.We can wish..I can wish...but one thing I can't do is to change people.But we certainly can change some behaviour,but it takes the ppl that involves in that situation.There's is some who can change but just not willing to just to prove a point.Me and my partner both are very unfortunately because we behave exactly the same.Nak buat camana bang...

Thanks for reading.

Belladonna said...

Nok, congratulations from me too. Naturalisation tu maknanya dapat PR ke nok? Sorry aku tak tau, sebab tu aku tanya:)

Aku pun nak tau sapa gaban yang dimaksudkan ittew.

Anonymous said...

Hello dudes!

I just wanted to say hi :)

Anonymous said...

whats up everyone

just registered and put on my todo list

hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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