About Me

Monday, December 18, 2006

Irritable Tales








I honestly think that I don't have any sense of vanity in here.Maybe it is because what you are reading right now is something that I type that came from my thought that I not necessarily share or tell people in person.Some of it is vile. But as this feeling orbit round my brain and will certainly drive me gila in the end if I don't let it out from my damn thought. Siapa-siapa yang squimish tu, blah lah ye...kang tak lalu makan pulak or termimpi-mimpi. Mana yang tak cukup umur, sila dapatkan nasihat ibubapa sebelum membaca....manalah tau, tengah-tengah tension ni, macam-macam ayat yang berunsur carutan boleh keluar.Mama Irdina, sila tutup mata anakmu yang comel itu sambil menyanyi lagu-lagu Raihan.

Macam ni, dah dekat seminggu,my back passage (alahai..bagusnya bahasa..) sudah buat hal.Ni semua gara-gara malas minum air, makan makanan yang kurang bahan fibre (apa pulak..yang aku tarah Fruit & Nuts Cereal pepagi tu hapa?) and tak makan sayur.Hasilnya,I struggle in passing stools and membuatkan lubang juburku sakit amat-amat.Macam cilako!!! Sakit ni datang dah pergi.Tiap-tiap malam sebelum tidur and selepas warning kat Ketot jangan masuk kebilikku tanpa mengetuk terlebih dahulu, I will sodomised my own bum with suppositories.Tiap-tiap malam you.I have been reading the medication fact sheet macam baca bank statement,tengok betul-betul and make sure I don't miss any important bits of the correct way to apply that thingy onto my bontot.And of course,I have been sleeping face down and bum up.

Yang sungguh I heran, selalunya si Cik Piles tu, lepas ditutuh dengan suppositories and cream-cream jubs,akan subsised lah.Habis-habis irritable pun 2 hari camtu.Tapi kali ni,rocket kecik tu dah hari-hari masuk kedalam,Cik Piles tu tak jugak surut-surut, in fact, mencanak-canak lah pulak ke 'swell' an nya.I tell you,sakitnya...plus the sakit hati that developed from it.Yelah,it is like tumbuh pimple in your telinga sampai tidur pun susah or menstruating pain...duduk tak kena, bangun tak kena..Sure is making you homicidal.Habislah kucing anjing nak dicekik.Mesti RSPCA akan cari I lepas ni.

In the end, I assumed that my 'Anusol' brand tak jalan,I pon belilah 'Germaloid' punya spray (tak sangka pulak this remedy available in a such method) Ni pun atas nasihat Miss South Africa (my colleague yang ku hambat menjadi drebar hari ni hantar I sana-sini,punyalah tak larat nak jalan) Miss South Africa ni rupa-rupa ada similar problem suatu ketika dedolu, and bantai promote this spray gila-babi dengan I.So,I pun belilah satu.So, hari ni tadi, puaslah I sppritttt....spppritttt....

Mintak-mintak mujarabbi lah.First 3 hours, sakit ya amat.Sampai big boss I tanya I okay ke (yelah..duduk senget-senget dalam meeting) Bila I balik rumah tadi,sebab tak tahan sakit,I pun makanlah pain killer.Masih irritable tapi kurengg bisa lah.Tapi bengkak masih tak surut.

I bukannya apa uols, disamping tiadanya rasa malu...well, bila sudah sakit...segala deria rasa pun hilang.Maybe next week,after everything is okay (I hope, I pray) barulah nak pikir mana nak sorok muka ni...kat Dublin lah kot.

I risau satu aje,asam-asam I dah habis....ni tension-tension ni, ada pulak asam orang lain yang kena makan.As I said before, deria rasa sudah hilang....ni sah lah takde perasaan ni.

Doakan lah saya....and doakanlah kesejahteraan barang-barang makan Lee ittew.

P/s...Siapa nak mai lepak rumah I? Makcik 2 ekor tu takde rumah from Friday ni until boxing day.Merasalah aku dok sensorang.

11 comments:

:: samasam :: said...

siannya sakit bontot ... heee..

i wish i bole lepak2 umah u kan, but too bad...saya jauh diperantauan

Lee Novotny said...

Hmmm leh gak..tapi tengoklah what we are doing for Xmas, u ols.... mak akan ke istana u ols jua demi menyelamatkan tin sadin(esp. tin sadin yg Fredddyy siap sign otograf ittew)and asam asam.....Save Lee's Asems!!!! :P

Hmmm u ols supisotory ittew mmg berkesan but it takes a week gittew...plus, u may want to take Fibogel (bukan bogel) with your water everytime u finished your main meal everyday..it works..it will soften your stool and ease the pain...wa cakap lu!

Good luck and speedy recovery nok!

lara said...

One word. Xyloproct.

Things stress does to us.. Sigh.

lekiu said...

maybe constipation is due to the medication kau makan kot ? Another thing, jangan selalu guna rocket, nanti kau akan terbiasa dan hanya bleh pass motion kalau pakai rocket. Take care..

Han said...

Lekiu & Lara...
Mmg tu la sebabnya...I'm on intensive Vit D supplement...that harden my stools...celaka kan?

Akhirnya...GP prescribed me that Xyloproct (eh..so coincidentalkan?) and bundled of painkillers...Hey...banyak dosa kot aku ni...Emm..there's some unexplained pleasure when inserting that rocket.Hehehe

BuDak BluR said...

get well soon... :)

Belladonna said...

Aiyoo Han, try jugak minum banyak air to soften the stools. Maybe jugak ko banyak sangat ngap assam-asam ittew..

Lara dan lekiu tu orang yang sama ka?

Speedy recoverylah nok (ni belajar sentence ni dari Lee). Aku pun nak gak melepak umah ngko this weekend, but dalam mimpi jelah.. sob.. sob..

Han said...

Tah lah Bella...laki ekau tu banyak bona jadi moonlighting..kojap-kojap madeleine..kojap itu..kojap ini...lain kali nak tukar nama..taruklah kobau kan? sonang aku kenal...ni pakai nama pompuan mana-mana tah

Belladonna said...

Han, aku telah menanya si kobau sama ada dia tu Lara ke tak. Kobau kata bukan dia. Lara ni, Lara Dr. Zhivago or Lara Croft? Anyway, nice name Lara. Any tips untuk tidur nyenyak?

montymelly said...

Eeeeyeewww sakitnya! I pernah ada bisul kat bontot pun teramatla sakitnya ini kan pula @#$%$#@#$!!

Speedy recovery hopefully, in time for boxing day sale!

lara said...

Just Lara, Bel. Unfortunately I'm insomniac myself lately.. Hope Xylo is working its magic on you, Han.