About Me

Monday, December 04, 2006

Communication Difficulties

Takde Kena Mengena Langsung Skycraper Kat Warsaw Ni Dengan Posting I

Over the years,my small but imperfectly formed gob has reliably produced the kind of own goals Frank Lampard can only dream of.To my everlasting cringing embarrassment,I'm infamous for saying the right thing at the right time to the wrong people in every conceivable social situation.

One of my colleague called in to tell me that she can't make it to work today.Not overly concern why (I never does,unless if I really really care) I tried being polite by asking whatever happened to her lah..that kind of thing.She told me that she is in the hospital because of some accute stomach pain (orang pompuan, apa lagi menstruation pain lah) I asked more...is it that bad that you have to go to the hospital? She whispered to me that there's a possibility that she might be pregnant as well.

I'm sure a decent boss let alone friend will comfort one another disaat-saat sensitive ni.Ye lah...student,still young, chenta mak bapak tak suka.Unwanted and unplanned pregnancy is something that is so obvious not in the card apatah lagi di kepala hotak.But asking a heterosexual man to wear that protective rubber is like asking them to clean a jamban.Payah.If possible taknak langsung.This is a common story from a sexually active women who often finding it difficult to ask their monogamous partner to 'memakai sarung'.They will depend solely for you woman to do the pill popping bit.Well, I'm just so lucky I don't ever have to compromise on 'having it protected'.

My colleague was in obvious distressed, manalah tahu kot-kot termengandung.I remember my first reaction was 'Why are you so stupid?'.I can't believe my mouth would utter such a blatant unsymphathetic word like that.What got to me at that time, tuhan ajelah yang tahu.I wish her well and end the conversation.I was so embarrassed even to offer more kind words.I then realised that there is no way I could cope with the guilt of bermulut lepas,I called her back and tell her how sorry I was.Lucky enough that she worked with me long enough to know that I don't mean anything nasty by it.I just feel so bad that I was so audacious.

In a social work, all of us were trained to speak 'nicely' even when delivering nasty words.Some people are naturally talented to do that.Some people need hard training but somehow,nice words are hard to come by when there is really nothing nice to think and say about.I personally find it hard.I do not master in duplicating words.What I tell is what I know.I dread Christmas period because this is the time where I have to 'lie' more than usual.Well, not exactly lying.I have to tell things the other way around.I work with a client that have a ignorant next of kin and denial parents.There is no other way to tell my clients that their disability are merely unavoided birth defect, which is not their fault.They need to be told that they are somehow different from others and that is why the service rendered are a bit 'delicate' that usual.

3 days ago, I spoke to a man who have a daughter in our care.He was so adamant that his daughter is 'fine' and should not continue living in the 'asylum'.He made his feeling very obvious and keep telling his daughter that he does not want her to be medicated anymore.Her daughter's condition? Childhood autism & mental retardation.What on earth he think that this can ever be reversed?

I know a young man that was disowned by his family (due to some complication in the past) This young man does not understand any hardfeelings ever occurred and is very merry about Christmas and keep asking when can he see his family.What he don't know and would probably will never understand is that they never want to see him again.And I have to find a nicest way to tell him that.

Some of us will resort to lying.I would too.It is just that lying has never been my forte.I'm very bad at it.I can succeed for shorter duration and will disappear before it shows all over my face.I immediately become shifty and crimson,you know? In order to become or to lie effectively, you really must be able to remember the story you told the last time.I can't even remember what I said 5 minutes ago and my chance of getting caught are fatter.The lying business also relies heavily on the 'ly-ee(?)' hearing what they want to hear.

Lying is one thing.Having difficulties to say 'you bloody idiot' in a nice possible word is another.Everything is delicate.A year or two ago, one of our client committed suicide because he was told that he was selfish.He obviously did not digest the meaning carefully and become gravely depressed enough to overdosed himself to eternal sleep.

Of late, I keep getting irate comments from some 'anonymous' critisising what's written in my page.Opinion,idea and comments are free.Some people have unlimited supply of them.I like irate people.They are like colours.I sometimes learn plenty from them.But I disrespect those backboneless who thinks crudity rules.That is the reason why your 'kind words' has gone unpublished.Because it doesn't make sense.

Be a man/woman.Stand for what you believe eventhough it is wrong.Let's argue positively over disagreement.We might need one another one day.


Belladonna said...

Aku rasa aku lagi teruk dari ko, type molot 'truck driver' gittew. Sebab tu tak ramai suka aku. Aku tak reti buat ayat berbunga, kalau sesiapa birthday.. Greeting aku ialah "SEMOGA PANJANG UMUR & DIMURAHKAN REZEKI". Bunyi boring cam orang tua, tapi memang tu exactly yang aku doa pun :)

Aku suka talk straight from my heart, macam mana buruk pun my opinion towards the other party aku mesti gak cakap and i really mean it.. Err, ni kira aku woman enough la kan? Hihihihih

p/s: Tapi kalau the other party memang dari awal-awal lagi carut/carik gaduh, haruslah dibubuh secukupnya orang ittew.. lagi orang ittew jahat, lagi aku jahat 2 berganda-ganda..

Anonymous said...

Sometimes we do have to tell white lies...bukan nak berbohong tapi tipu sunatlah kan?? :)

U have one of the most intriguing and fascinating job I have ever come across. So complicated yet so colourful :)

p/s eh u ols, dah dapat ke belum mms mak malam tadi>??? My new entry kat blog is especially for you!!!