19, 23, 36, 62 & 66

19 - On my way home yesterday, macam biasalah..I will telephone rakan serumah tompangan I (isk..semenjak kena keluar dari rumah omputih tu, I ni dah takde fixed place of abode, so if I'm not sleeping at work or some hotel murahan tajaan opis, I menompang teduh kat rumah MB's) ye lah, since I'm on the road and tahu sangat pompuan-pompuan nan bertiga tu (MB's campur dengan ibu mertua kiewww) kalau dah terdampar kat rumah, tak kan adanya nak keluar balik. So dengan sifat courtesy yang tinggi (tak macam flight steward yang takde courtesy ittew) I will call and ask, you all nak apa-apa ke...like makdonna ke, kayhepchee ke, rocks ke...susu skimmed milk ke (ni yang selalu lah). So MB Putih kata, please can you get me a rokok and I pun sementara menunggu bas yang macam puaka lah lambat nya (after 7pm, bus punya regularity kan macam pundekk!!!) I pon masuk lah kedai Si Gangga Patel ni (nama rekaan tu) Hmm... I used to smoke, tapi underground punya smoking lah...ni kes amma tatau, appa? Lagilah tatau...hiks. My amma memang tak suka sangat rokok, tapi takdelah anti-rokok like appa, although I must tell you, Appa was a heavey smoker dijaman seluar sapu jalan tu. He only quit when I was diagnosed with asthma...quite a chronic type jugak le when I was 5 or 6 githoo...and the Dr cakap, my asthma was due to the asap rokok. So, siapalah yang usual saspek nya melainkan bapak ku mithali tu? Apparently he hated himself for that..ye lah, I kan anak kesayangan, sekarang dah sakit kuat. Amma said, she told him to quit SO MANY times, but my appa is the alpha male and of course, a male...mana ndaknya dengar cakap bini, walaupun bininya tu serba tahu of segala masalah kesihatan ni..don't play, play...just because amma don't have that D title, all her medical opinion was quashed.So after that, we never have smoking influence in the house..until lah one day, my anakku Sazali eldest brother dengan bongkaknya gi hisap rokok openly when we went for a relative kenduri kahwin..in a full clear view of Appa & Amma...I was told, he got the terajang tahap 8 from Appa and lecture 'nanti kau mati bla..bla..bla..' from Amma. Did he quit? He was still smoking when I saw him last...so, that prove the point that man never listen...maybe they will on your death bed. So back to the story yang aku ni isap rokok..oi Kiah, kau hengat kau sorang ke? Ni semua peer pressure (takdelah pressure apa pun..sajalah nak glamer) and it became worst masa I berterbangan di awan, worst as in, mesti ada rokok bila gi clubbing, untuk mencukupkan syarat. It is just for fun.Dalam fun-fun pun, I grow tired of lying when my brother found the ciggarette packet in the car...asyik dok cakap ada orang punya. I never got confronted but after a while, the need to show off by flicking ciggarettes depan orang mula pudar. So, saya jadi tukang beli saja. I never know what and how to ask for ciggarette at the shop, selalunya kalau dah terpampang depan mata, I will point, bayar and blah. So yesterday when MB Putih suruh I beli rokoknya, I terkial-kial gak lah nak cari. I was looking up and down and jumpa, so I point and ask for it. Tetiba...

Gangga Patel : Are you over 18?
Makji Esah : Terdiam...sambil membuntangkan mata...
Gangga Patel : You got ID with you?
Makji Esah : I have already passed 30.

Gangga Patel masih jugak ber incredible hulk tak nak jual rokok tu kat I. Nak tengok ID katanya. Tetiba, my Boss telephone..and sebelum dia mintak hupdate pasal Makcik Pakiam, I asked my Boss to do me a favour, to verify my age and dah tunjuk semua credit card Baru lepas. I'm not sure if I was supposed to be flattered being mistaken for younger person. In fact Kiah, they thought I was 18...so aku taknak membuat kau lari terjun jematan. But I often got mistaken as a student.

23 & 36 - I started working and mengumpul harta sendiricarian since I was 23. I was with a UK bank for a while sebelum balik for good (kiranya) ke Malaysia. Balik-balik aje, tak sempat nak menikmati tanahair, terus kerja. I was an auditor with KUBB, yang rasanya dah tak ujud lagi kat PJ tu. My income was so ciput...and it was pre recession, junior auditor didn't get much. But I changed career after that, to more (konon nya) challenging (pirraaa mabuk) job. The pay was beautiful, tak cukup dengan duit yang berkepuk, ku sajikan piula dengan apartment yang tersergam indah.I quickly amassed duit yang manyak and i bought my first property when I was 25. (Ni pun macam tipu, sebab appa tolong sikit-sikit..only for me to sell it off tak cakap dengan dia) And now at 36, I'm trying to buy a flat kat sini..yang serata alam tahu, sungguhlah mahal nya and there's no appa and amma to help. I really need to do this...kesian kalau kawan datang kena hantar go hotel and bertambah kesian lagi when i kena share bilik tidur I dengan kucing sundal tu. Ciss!!! When I first took up a job here, I thought that it is going to be like 2 years thingy..or so I said to appa for his permission.But now dah semilan tahun...tu belum campur all the years I spent outside home, dah bila campur tolak bahagi darab...I have left Malaysia since 1991, baliknya kejap 1995. kerja dekat 6 bulan and terbang lagi...balik kejap 1998 and end 1999, terbang lagi. So I feel like dah tua sangat and will not know where to start again in KL, so I decided to stay put and beli rumah...though akan kecewalah appa, sealed his prediction that I was never coming back. Alah..balik. Bukan sekarang aje...relaks laaa.

62 & 66 - For a long time, my weight is stagnant at 62. Dulu kala lagi selimmmmm...58-59 with 5'8 height. But dah tua and makan pun cam anak babi, selamat tinggallah kan 60kg and below. Tak apalah. As long as I can fit into size 12, kira happy lah ni....not until recently. I had an accident at work and hurt my back and was prescribed Diazepam for 2 days.Siyal nya! And last week I saw my GP, told him that my back pain is coming and going but is still there dan menyakitkan hati. So he weighed me. Tupppp..66kg!!! macam manalak aku boleh tertambah isi ni? Dah le kerja kuat ngalahkan peladang kelapa sawit pastu kejar bus,kejar keretapi..kena kejar anjing lagi..boleh ke naik 4 kilo?! My GP yang takde sosial skill tu cakap..try to lose weight and maybe it can reduce the stress on the injury. Lose weight? Padahal my weight tu kira stable lah..aku aje yang perasan Kate Moss kenkadang nak selim-selim.On top of that, my thyroid telah membengkak dengan jaya nya and it hurts when I try to swallow my food. So, sejak semalam, I makan bubur and soup aje.sakit hati I.So dengan erti kata lain...saya telah debab and mesti selim kembali untuk membaiki belakang. Oh..kenapalah? I really want to know macam mana 4 kilo tu boleh menjelma..adakah kerna aku makan cake dengan JT? So, shall I now potong kek pulak dengan dia? Shall I..shall I?

Sekian