Soapland Yang Tak Perlu

Well, I do have to apologise to those yang tak tahu benda on what I'm going to blog about. But for those yang pernah or masih lagi tersangkut kat negara bercap mohor kan ER ni (ever wonder what is that ER bloody mean?) must be familar with all the soap-soap opera yang gigih ditayangkan kat BBC,ITV & Channel 5 ni. Lahanat-lahanat yang under my observation ni kerja diorang, selain dari menyakitkan hati aku dan Health Worker-Health Worker yang lain is menengok cerita-cerita soap ni. To them, the soapland is so real that anything that happened 'in there' is affecting them 'out here' badly.

Soap stories ni is very addictive. I'm surprised that amid my busy schedule, I still have time for them. Walaupun disindir-sindir oleh my colleague (yang kunun nya...maha professional itu...podahhh) I still maintain that all those soap memang patut ditengok, good for people like us (I dengan mereka-mereka yang perasan professional ni) for case referencing. Ye lah...client-client kami kan semuanya ada life problems yang boleh dibuat script cerita-cerita soap ni...

Nak kata hero-hero Eastenders,Coronation Street,The Bill (to name a few) henskem-henskem, tak adalah. Dressing adalah ala Pakcik-Pakcik. Female actor, okaylah...cantiklah sikit, but takdelah secantik bintang-bintang pelem yang tersohor a.k.a. Catherine Zeta Jones or Sandra Bulldog itu...but selalunya, soap star yang takdelah cantik sangat ni, role dalam soap stories ni selalunya, kalau tak dapat watak jadi 'cheap tart', they are either psycho killer or pompuan yang ber isu-isu dalaman.

In my opinion, whatever that I learned from watching those episodes does help. Ber affair dengan laki orang, kena sexually abuse masa kecik-kecik, chenta 18 segi (3 segi tu kira kecik sangat lah pulak) semua masalah dunia tu adalah masalah yang I dengar hari-hari. Honestly, soapland issue dengan issue manusia yang tak hidup dalam soapland ni, bogged down to one similar cirscumstances, that is, people are good at blaming others than themselves. A sex addiction sufferer once told me that his problem berpunca dari mak bapak nya. His marriage didn't work salah mak, his wife that understanding salah bapak. Salah dia tak ada langsung. Okay...we now must know that our parents takdelah perfect, although, sebagai anak orang Melayu & Islam, we are taught to look up to our parents like god...okay, I shouldn't generalised, my life is my own example. I maybe a lot lucky than some others yang underprivilledge. My parents union doesn't last long but enough to made all of us, anak-anak ini, understand that marriage between two people is always going to be between two people only, yakni laki and bini. I must admit that there was a time that I was desperately unhappy with my life and part of it to do with my parents. Again, I was lucky that I quickly snapped out of it. You have got to tell yourself, enough is enough. This is my life now and I got to make it work.Parents will always be the pair that produced you and they deserve respect and love. And here I am trying to make things work for myself...at the same time, coming to term with the fact that once upon a time, there is more influential force that think they know what is best for me. Things doesn't always turn out to be so rosy, and how long more should you wallow your self pity ?

My own soapland now ni dah come out with new episode, iaitu luka lama dah start nak berdarah kembali. As I have admitted to all of you unrelentlessly, I haven't really got over it. I told F about him and we know that this is part of my past that I will have to deal with in more years to come. (Dia jangan berani nak marah-marah I, ex-gf dia pun sekoyan...tu tak termasuk yang duduk sepelaung dari rumah dia) I have done with nangis-nangis...in fact, I don't think I will cry if I ever see him again, much too old for that. I'm not sure bakar kepala dia is desirable either. But I know what sort of a person he is (well, not to sure now, people can change overnight) he is keen to keep in touch, nak suruh aku ni kembali ke pangkuan ke?

Tangan dah semakin gatal nak reply his email, nak jugak cakap ' I never stop thinking about you', but for what? That bit is true...that I never stop thinking about him but I can assure myself (or you) that is nothing malicious underneath it. But,I am not single anymore and why am I still harping on it? Jawapannya cuma satu kan? Gatal, atas bawah gatal...ni lah masalah dalam soap opera I sekarang ni...

All day at work today (nampak sangatlah makan gaji buta, tak buat kerja, dok memikir masalah lain) I wonder what was the motive, mine and his.Why is he emailing me after 8 years ago, I told him not to...and why am I anxious tahap gajah Afrika ni? Kata dah moved on...moved on hapa kebenda ni? I guess what it is, is that I, like any other overanxious woman that will troll over every damn mite on their beds, needed closure, if not, maybe this is just pure curiousity.Not enough that I have been deafened by my thought yang bukan-bukan ( haiyoo..drama nya) I can't help to want to kill my curiosity (bad enough it kills the cat!!!)

So, wait up. Stay tune to the kesudahan cerita soap mengarut ni.