About Me

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Peckham & Self Discovery

For those who don't know where Peckham is, Peckham is situated in the south east of London with high population of pak mak gagak.Orang berkaler cerah adalah seorang dua and the lebihan is black for all continent, either African or the West Indian. Quite recently (or has always) Peckham ni memang sungguh popular dengan adegan budak-budak sekolah trading drugs,tembak menembak and rampok merampok.Ada aje budak gangster yang mati every week dalam news, ni kes berebut kawasan lah ni...takdelah pulak nak berebut copyright pineapple juice ye?

I'm working with that sexual offender guy yang all this while memang sungguh creative dalam menyakitkan hati since dia ditransfer dibawah kepak company tempat I kerja ni. I just finished my work with him mid end of last month, after all that harrowing month mendengar cerita-cerita graphic dia tu sampai I pun naik sakit.But in the end I realised that underneath all that disgusting penchant, there is this little boy who is desperately needing help and is on the verge of blowing up. In our working term (as in me and him) I often refer him as a victim (although di mata kasar, dia lah setan besar nya) and I often got asked a lot from people 'why is he the victim?'. We always assume that victim is a victim...like if a mugger ragut your handbag and there you are the victim of a mugger.The fact that we seems to dismissed is that the mugger is also the victim.And he is the victim of his circumstances.

As much as many people is disgusted with this guy, I happened to take a pity but I have to be careful not to have the professionalism and how I feel as a person to mix.God knows how I wish I can shop him to the local people who are ever so ready to bludgeon him to pulp.I bit my tongue for the last 4 months and how I am still seething thinking of all that money that I have wasted paying the therapist to listen to this unnecessary shit.But somethimes, things need to be taken to a different perspective in live.As much as you might hate/dislike your current encounter,you know that when you come out of it, you learn something new that you can use in your later life.

I don't know how many more amount of behavioural teraphy can help him. I honestly do not know how long will he survive and how far are we willing to dive in the deep sea to save him. It is too risky for him. This is always the case with the learning disabled. And he needs more time to understand. Until he accept who he is at present, he will keep on re offend. I pity him as he have less ability to help himself, unlike us. We are the sort of people that is making mistake,having bad thought and upsetting people in a daily basis and still keep going. We are somehow able to rise up and move on. While some people not willing to and still harping on past mistakes and wallowing self pity that is obviously halting the next step process, this guy are just unable to see the light because of his disability, and how sad is that?

Our ability to recognise and accept who we are is, inevitably, influenced by upbringing. The major obstacle that stop most uf us is fear and this can be damaging for those on the receiving end.I always believe that we are now doing what we want, despite bad good upbringing.Your earlier role model may influences the way you do, react and accept things and as the time grows and your attachment to your role model becoming looser each day, you are truly doing this as your heart desires.Most of the people I know are doing as they please now and leaving their trouble behind. I tell you, some trouble are not meant to be fix and the only way to cope is that to alter your behaviour towards it. Some people believe that you have to hit where it hurts and I can assure you that this are the people who have trouble sleeping at night as they will continue to search more joy of hitting other places that will cause more hurts.

Many of us labour under the belief that we are less able than others or people we know and have no idea how people perceive us. If is often comes as a surprise when we learn other people are impressed by us,or,conversely,that they think that we are lazy or rude.Most of the time we are unaware of the gap between how others see us and how we see ourselves - but we learn a lot from being conscious of how we come across to others. The more aware and accepting you are of your strengths and weaknesses, the more open you can be with others. This also will reaffirms your sense of self-confidence, empathy and awareness. You will know that you've moved on when the thought of external feedback no longer makes you feel insecure and anxious.


5 comments:

Lee Novotny said...

So i suppose Rodney & Del-Boy are the only two white guys there, eh??? **matilaa yg dinch tonton Only fools & Horses!

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Dan berberapa ekor lagi....Lee.Haiyooo...gelapnya dunia ku.

Lee Novotny said...

Gelap duniamu gelap lagi muka mat mat gagak ittew...**oopssss

:: samasam :: said...

mat gelap yg imuda berlakon kah?

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

mat Gelap tu cerita apa lah pulak?