No Scrub

No!!! I dont want your number, No!!! I don't want to give you mine...

Is this the season where 'blast from the past' start looking for the opportunity to blast back to the future? Ermm...one too many now. Less than fortnight ago, past blast from school reappear, only 'vast' in size!!!. Saturday...I actually got more than I bargained for, my ECA (ex-chenta-agung) pstt Kiah, I love your abbreviations....isk..isk..isk..sedap je guna word 'Agung'. Tak kan kena saman ke? Kang dikata dek orang I disrespect the Agung. Oh, ampun Tuanku beribu-ribu hampun. But, since I am now basically under protection of ER government, so tak takutlah kan? Okay, my ECA emailed me last Saturday with more blast news, that he is coming to town.

His email was short but sharp, enough to make me sakit hati and made Kiah Kidman become the brunt of it for more than 20 minutes.

***Hey, I'm coming for a meeting at F***k***t, then to T*e H***e and finally in London. Suppose we can meet up for coffee?*** I'm leaving on ***, maybe email back your number? Kisses.

First, is it me or memang common orang nak ajak keluar will use the 'let's have coffee' line? I know him, he likes coffee and I suppose, if it comes from him,that is not a monkey line.

Second,what is it with man and the need to open the can of worms? Okay, my ECA likes fishing, so to open a can of worm for him is necessary, but sekarang ni, ikan-ikan kan ke dah pandai memilih tak nak makan cacing? Semua ikan kan dah pakat-pakat ikut Jennifer Aniston low-carb diet, so instead of cacing, they might fall for another kind of bait.

My ECA, although once upon a time is a top student at UMIST but seriously, if I may say, being in position that I am now, maybe probably dia ada undiagnosed learning difficulties. Bodoh!Bongok! Will you, any man even with a average score point in their IQ test, would you reconsider

a) Attempt to ask the girl out when you, 12 years ago, dumped this girl mercilessly? Oh yeah..the same girl that you promise to marry only to tell her 4 weeks before your wedding to someone else that your whirldwind romance with her was a mistake?

b) Attempt to ask the same girl out and this is the same girl that you dumped mercilessly but only to tell her 2 months after you got married to a woman that you claimed 'different and understanding' that you had made a mistake marrying the 'different and understanding' wife and now, beg the girl to give him another chance.

c) Attempt to ask the same girl out, the same girl that stupidly agree to forgive you and spent the whole year going out with you again, only to discover by accident that your wife is pregnant, despite you claiming 'ohhh..tak cinta'. Tak cinta? Harkk tuih!!!! This is another thing with men, dengan wife 'tak cinta' but if really 'tak cinta', camna pulak air boleh terlepas masuk? Nak kata artificial insemination, takdelah pulak kan, more like natural insemination...wholeheartedly, of course.

Okay...honestly, there was never a moment that I don't think about him (adalah jugak..especially bila main pc game) but, 12 years is long enough time to realised that ships,boats even kayaks has sailed. You can still waive at them when they sailed passed you but to jump on it again, there's a big chance that you might drown.Well, here I am, keep telling myself that.So, who is the real 'Bangang' ? Why can't I just do the Johnny Hates Jazz to him...tell him off, you know you're giving me, nothing but shattered dream. Cisss...

At the moment, my suitable reply to his email will be the wordings from TLC's, No Scrub...or for him, shall I change it to 'No Getah Sekerap'? But, wouldn't it be good and better if I just ignore it? Lagipun, I kan ada Jantan Tembam to keep me busy? Hehehe...wouldn't you like to know, Kiah?

Intermission...

The Makji's

MB1 Terkelu Lidah Menengok Anak-Anak Kambing Mary Melanggar Northern Ireland

Mary Ada Anak Kambing, Anak Kambing,Anak Kambing!!!

Nampak sangat aku boring dok rumah and takde kerja kan? Tu lah..siapa suruh bergaduh? Anyway, when we were in Dublin, dalam perjalanan nak ke Northern Ireland yang jauhnya lebih kurang...em, let me see, imagine atuk or uwan suruh you all kacau dodol...mula-mula kaler putih kan...dalam pada nak menyampaikan ke kaler hitam yang likat itu, maka selama itulah perjalanan dari Dublin Airport ke Northern Ireland...Giant Causeway to be precise.Atas bantuan Garmin (another brand of Satelitte Navigation yang tersohor di Rep.Of Ireland ni) sampailah jugak we all ke Giant Causeway itu...tapi tah mana silap nya, the machine seems to navigate us through jalan-jalan kampong...merasa ada suatu ketika, kami macam terperangkap disatu jalan sempit bila satu lori kontena nak lalu.Apa makna nya lorry kontena 40 footer tu lalu kat jalan sempit cam tu? Nampak sangat peladang berjaya kat Northern Ireland tu bisnes juta-juta kan? Siap export out lagi. Setelah berhempas pulas membawak kereta...(bukanlah diri ini ye...) sampailah jugak we all ke tempat persembunyian Giant itu.

Tetapi you all.....nak menyampaikan ke area tu, kami telah melalui macam-macam perit getir, yakni bau-bau busuk yang datangnya dari lembu-lembu Ireland. At times, bau terlampau busuk, I thought that it must be a mixture of taik lembu+taik kuda+taik gembala lembu+taik gembala kuda+taik manusia-manusia lain yang takde tamadun yang bangsa berak bertabur-tabur.Ya Allah....busuk betul....macam bau politik kat Malaysia sekarang tau (alamak Yanz...I dah baca dah that blog...so scandalous kan?)

Tak cukup dengan trauma bau busuk, kat satu tempat ni...while I dgn MB2 tengah menjamu karipap, tiba-tiba kedengaran Mb1 (drebar) and Makji Eton (co-pilot) menjerit-jerit cam kena sampuk Puaka Tebing Biru. Bila we all pandang depan....hah kau!! melambak anak kambing Mary keluar tah dari mana...yang pada pemikiranku yang senantiasa dikelabui oleh anasir-anasir jahanam, I thought anak kambing tu akan berpakat-pakat menyerang we all yang dalam kereta ni...aaahhhhhh!!!!

But, anak-anak kambing Mary tu hanya mengembek and berlalu-laluan sambil terberak cirit aje...itu aje ke?

Coffee Date (Plus Muffin)

**** Dalam keadaan yang sungguh Tingtong From Tooting, even though dah tidur dengan senyenyak-nyenyak nya...apasal pulak kan, mengantuk semacam, adakah makanan, minuman ku or karipap ku telah di spike oleh manusia yang mahu mengambil kesempatan atas diriku yang lemah ini? (Macam sialllll okay, bunyiknya!!!)

**** Why am I still at Twickenham pada hari sabtu minggu ini? Kenapa tak pergi menjalan kewajipan sebagai isteri yang solehah kat rumah orang itu? Jawapannya, hah!! Pepagi buta dah ku sumpah orang itu...maka, entry ini dibuat and fikiran Makji tengah dipengaruhi oleh hati yang panas...apa ni? Asyik panas hati aje.

Okay, untuk memuaskan hati kau Kiah (seperti mana kau memuaskan hatiku dengan membuat 3 entry dalam seminggu macam itik berak) dan juga para-para pencinta gossip murahan, I finally agree to meet K, my once upon a time schoolmate. I texted him back, confirming the date and time for coffee. For a change, instead of travelling to London, I suggested Guildford, easier for him because it is not far from Reading, and I, fancy a change of scenery…(ye lah, but I regretted not long after, when realised that Guilford is the place that me and Nicholas Davis used to meet for coffee and mengadu-domba hal office)

This jantan tembam, as he physically appear, is called K (nama sebenar kenalah dirahsiakan) for sure he is not Siti Nurhaliza’s wealthy husband although I can swear that if he is not affected badly by the syndrome baking powder, (mulut aku, menanti masa aje untuk dicili oleh TLC kan?) he may as well look like Datuk K, only taller and perma tanned. K works for the local uni in Malaysia and is here for his PHD and is due to finish next year. Dah dekat setahun setengah dia kat sini???

I was quite anxious…pasalnya, when I arrived at Guildford, quite early…(menunjukkan betapa gigihnya I ke? ) I was hungry and agonising if I should quickly scoff something first before the coffee or dengan polite nya ajak mamat ni makan sekali. But what will that make me then? Dah le aku yang memula suggest coffee and now, dengan muka tak malu, nak ajak makan? Mana perginya sifat perempuan melayu terakhir aku ni? Or sememangnya dah ghaib semenjak kahwin omputih ni? I keep telling myself that I am only being friendly, although I must remember that not long ago, pasal being friendly lah I ended hurting people’s feeling, aku kononnya give out message (bodily/facially/emotionally?) that there’s a hope in us.You what???

As I stroll down to the Guildford High Street, I keep thinking, should we just minum kopi aje or nak ajak dia lunch…sampai ke tahap, if I ajak dia makan, mau kah dia makan chicken sandwich ayam katok tu or any form of ayam dishes (if sandwich is too lame) that is understandably, tak halal, as we are not in Arab/Pakistani populated area. In the end, few steps before the Costa Coffee, I just think…okay, we will order the coffee, and if my tummy start berbunyi-bunyi mintak diisi, I will just order muffin. By that, I bolehlah maintain kewanitaan sejati…ye lah, makan muffin can never be seen as pelahap and nampak class lah kan?

K was early, just as I thought I beat him to it. He was outside the café, smoking and smile away mengalahkan kambing. He reciprocated my handshake with a matsalleh style peck (time well spent in Portsmouth during his degree days) I have to say, that gesture kind of put me at ease, at least I know who am I dealing with…and what sort of wavelength of mentality (or am I speaking too soon?) Kekwat tak I? But after years of building my self esteem to where it is now, I think, I’m allowed to have some kind of expectation, especially to the people who never realised that I exist until it was too late… (nampak sangat ada mental disturbance aku ni)

We chat a lot. He was asking the questions…many of them, considering that he don’t know me that well. We don’t even have lesson in the same class but I remember having to cheer him (or shall I say the football team) up. But I do know him, because his good looks does stand out. As for me, apart from being so unusually tall, I do not have other attributes for him to take any trouble to notice. At time, I was making jokes about him turning into Azhari Hussin, with him being in University Of Reading, doing the same study and dah ada goatee-goatee bagai...nak jadi ahli Jemaah Islamiyyah ke? Dalam hati, I really hope he will laugh at the joke because, people in a sane mind (let alone to be in that location...nak mati kalau org sebelah menyebelah dengar kau buat joke pasal terrorist and bomb) wouldn't joke about things like that...I remember saying to this orang melayu, how I feel that the muslim in Malaysia was a bit too harsh to Lina Joy, what did I get? Muka masam pastu aku dikatanya dah takde semangat keislaman...takde akidah bagai. Eyy..takleh bagi opinion ke? But K, did get the Azhari Hussin's joke.

Chatting with K is like chatting with a new friend, I don't know anything about him apart from dengan siapa dia kemaruk berchenta kat MRSM dulu (that girl happened to be in my persatuan and asrama) K is on the verge of having his marriage dissolved. According to him that is why he is here all by himself. Sedih ke aku mendengar nya? To be honest, I’ll be more sympathetic if a woman said that to me. He told me that he was married for two years…didn’t work out and now needed sometime to himself. I can’t help to think…your marriage just about to end, and here you are, on your own? Hati I macam kena garu nak korek-korek cerita but, there’s rules in a first meeting.

We both had coffee and aku, asked for muffin while he cheekily asked 'eh, makan satu aje ke'. Apakah maknanya tu? Kau nak aku jadi badak cam kau jugak ke? Gentlemanly, he paid for our coffee and my muffin although I insist on paying...knowing that he's a student (tapi dia buat PHD kan..so, masih dapat gaji separuh kan?) We promise to keep in touch, and dia pulak dengan gatalnya suggest 'Lain kali you bayar pulak'. I have to say that he is very keen (he has been calling non-stop today masa I tengah tidur)

Bila dah bergaduh (serious ni) dengan F ni, mulalah hati ni nak cari alternative lain. He texted me last night asking how was my Ireland trip (merasa kalau aku bawak dia, mau dihabiskan karipap kita kan, Makji Eton)

There’s thing that I need to know about him, like, how on earth has he become so, so fat? (and lain-lain) What say you Kiah?

Kamek Sudah Pulang

The Candles Is So Like Sandal Pergi Melachorr kan?

Giant Causeway, Northern Ireland

Serangan Kambing Bebiri Yang Menyebabkan Kami Ber4 Menjerit Ala-Ala Puaka Tebing Biru

One Of Makji Eton's Holiday Camp Attractions

Today, all 3 of us agree that we have never been on holiday yang itinerary nya ialah makan,makan and makan sajaaaa....really!!!

From the day we arrived, we all dengan tak malunya tanya (sebelum tanya khabar nih...) 'Makji Eton, you all masak apa hari ni?' and tanpa segan silu, terus ambik pinggan and hidang diri sendiri. Tak cukup dengan itu, we decided to 'tell' Makji Eton, rather than ask, to masak itu ini.Pernahkah kau jumpa orang yang macam kita orang ni?

Despite what you might think Hjh Leemah and Coco Channel oiii...tidak ada adegan lessyrina berlaku...sebabnya, I dengan Makji Eton adalah dua married people yang sungguh committed (phewwekkkk!!!!) tetapi...tetaplah ada adegan berebut-rebut duvet yang berlaku dalam keadaan separuh sedar.

Walaupun telah berlaku kejadian yang memalukan, yakni kami 3 pompuan durjana telah bertengkar dipagi hari and terpaksalah Makji Eton menyinsing purdah untuk meleraikan adegan-adegan hati panas dan juga MB yang telah dengan secara sukarela memecahkan pinggan pereks Makji Eton, percutian ini telah berjalan dengan lancar tanpa sebarang pertumpahan darah.

We went places...Makji Eton should consider jadi Holiday Reps untuk Malaysian yang nak melawat Rep.Of Ireland and Northern Ireland, sebabnya, Makji Eton mengalahkan currator museum lah informative nya...and selain pada ittew, Hjh Leemah, Makji Eton juga bertindak sebagai Wikipedia bergerak, not only that Makji Eton knows where and what of segala historical place of interest, Makji Eton juga ada menyelitkan info-info tentang sawana (something that you be most interested in kan, hihihi...)

We also celebrated MB2 33rd birthday on our second night where Makji Eton cooked a lovely Pad Thai (siap dengan desicated peanuts lagi you all) and Makji Eton tanpa komplen-komplen, gigih membuat karipap sensorang while kami-kami ni cam pompuan jahanam duduk mengangkang tengok DVD sambil membesarkan karipap masing-masing (haiyoo..statement keji sangat kan?)

Makji Eton is so right when he said yang kami-kami ni dah pandai buat macam rumah sendiri...because, we really treat his crib macam rumah kami sendiri (bergaduh..sumpah menyumpah...makan macam anak babi) So, Yanz...it is about time you datang menggemuk kan badan di Ireland.

Kepada mereka-mereka yang selalu bercuti di Europe (almost every week lak tu) Rep.Of Ireland is also part of Europe...so, startlah book flight kan Ryanair tu ye...yang mana kengkawan kat Malaysia or Rwanda (for that matter) bolehlah buat plan datang rumah Makji Eton.

So, to Makji Eton...kamek tigak nak madah tengkiu kat kitak...kamek tigak macam pandei mawak motor didik empun from rumah Makji ke Airport. Mulai hari tok, kamek tigak macam nak berpuasa, sebabnya kamek tigak dah gemuk kedak anak babi.

We really had fun. You're such a lovely host.

Day In Dublin

Atas permisi Makji Eton, I akan hapdate jugaklah activity I kat sini, walaupun adalah org ittew, gigih nak tahu psal my coffee date dgn JT itu (jantan tembam, ley?) Kan aku tengah bercuti,so aku kenalah buat cara macam orang cuti kan, Kiah? Takkan lah dalam cecuti pun nak update blog, unless lah kalau aku cerita pasal aku nya trip kan? Bukannya macam orang tu yang dalam mesyuarat pun jawab telipon..heh!!!

This trip, I opted for a much later flight, takdelah flight pagi-pagi buta macam my previous trip.So this time, we took the 8.10am flight, and to be able to get everything done in time, kenalah start bergerak dari Twickenham by 5am nak menyampaikan ke 6.30am kat Stansted Airport tu.Seperti biasa, my so called true friends ni,ikutkan, badan I letih sungguh, dengan balik kerja the day before at 10.30pm, mana nak cari baju nak gosok nak pack barang, deme dua tu udahle tak keroje siang nya..so,kiranya, energy saving banyaklah kan? Tapi..dek kerna semangat perkahwanan yang jitu (cam cilanat sungguh!!!) aku jugak yang disuruh bawak kereta dari Twickenham ke Stansted Airport dalam keadaan tingtong from tooting tu.Dengan alasan, I will find my way through without help from sat nav.Macamlah diorang tu tak boleh, cuma pemalas aje.

Well, as a non-speeding and considerate driver, I usually take longer time to arrive my desired destination...sebabnya, kalau org suruh bawak kereta 50 kmph, 50 kmph la speed driving ku.Tak kurang tak lebih.So, orang lain boleh sampai sejam, I will need another 1/2 hour more. Berhemah sungguh.So, at 6.30 am, sampailah kami kat long stay carpark kat Stansted Airport yang banyak arnab tu. And this time as well, dek pengajaran luggage pecah, we all travel dgn hand luggage aje.Tapi....it took us dekat 2 jam to get into the flight cabin, mana security check nya, habis tali pinggan,kasut,cincin and apa-apa je dalam pocket semua kena keluar.I think because of the scrutinised security check, ramai pulak yang delay in getting themselves kat final gate...sampai semua flight pun delay.Pastu, kami-kami ni puaslah beratur only to discover to queue in a wrong lane nak gi Barcelona...ciss, tukar gate tak buat announcement kan? Nasib baik tak terlepas ke Spain..kalau tak, harus marah guling-guling lah Makji Eton kan?

Kali ni, kami sungguh independent (dengar tu Hjh Haleemah....) takdelah nak berfeeling drama queen mintak dijemput bagai, naik bus dari airport, tukar kat City Centre and terus ambik bus direct kerumah Hjh Eton.Macam rumah sendiri and sampai masuk dalam rumah tanpa dijemput dengan muka tak malu nya...kan? kan? Padahal tuan rumah tengah khusyuk buat yoga.

While the MB's tidur, I dengan Makji Eton keluar semula dari sarang nak cari barang dapur, kurang ajar tak I, datang cuti rumah orang, pastu macam Mak Datin suruh orang masak.But, Makji Eton was ever so accomodating...and we left the town with dua ekor ikan in tow and other condiments as well (tapi, perlukah kita cerita yang kita juga beli ubat berak, Makji Eton?)

We all had chicken green curry for dinner and after that, after long mesyuarah (betul ke this word?) I dengan MB's finally agree to give 'Jangan Pandang Belakang' ago, walaupun Makji Eton dah bagi warning yang JPB is more ghostly than Puaka Tudung Biru.Of course if we find JPB tu menakutkan sampai nak kencing pun kena ada teman (siapakah orang itu) we will then have a choices of Gubra,some orang putih's movies and Zombi Kampung Pisang to watch. But, after 20 minutes, we thought, we should try to brave JPB until the end.

Walaupun ada elemen-elemen bangang macam dialogue budak darjah 3 and the tak masuk akal scene of that girl, dalam pada si jantan dah tersampuk hantu but still tah mana datang energy (this was not shown) boleh drive balik kampung that guy memalam buta for that guy to be de-possessed from that hantu yang I must say, ada spesifikasi macam Matrix, boleh lompat-lompat gitu.And...ni nak tanya..lelaki and perempuan boleh pulak dok dalam rumah berdua-dua an tanpa dicekup kan? How England!!!

Well, I am not at all into horror movies...as I said, my life is complicated enough, tak kuasa aku nak bertakut-takutan begitu sekali.Adakah I menjerit bila keluar hantu? Hehehehe...

Kesimpulannya, from what I see, there is a possibility of a sequel, pasalnya...the hantu,although was released from the body...the Pak Haji decided to re house the hantu in the buah jagung and bury it depan rumah orang tu jugak...and then dengan kilat petirnya Pak Haji declares...akan ku sumpah (ye tah ye dialogue ni) kau terperangkap dlm biji jagung sampai kau tumbuh...wahahahahaha....

The jagung will then grow...and some unsuspecting person (like the first girl yang gi kutip botol tepi laut tu) akan makan jagung tu and therefore, akan masuklah hantu tu dalam badan kan?

So, what to do next? Jangan Makan Jagung ?

Nantikan 'Jangan Makan Jagung' di pawagam berdekatan rumah anda.

Prelude - Coffee Date

Here's the burning question, adakah Makji Esah pergi menyahut cabaran kegatalan terlampau untuk pergi meminum kopi dengan sijejaka tembam yang tengah buat PHD kat University Of Reading itu?

What do you think? Well, I did. Kalau nak ikutkan kekwatnya, I will say that I have to go because I do not have any valid excuse to say NO. Dah aku yang mengajak,so aku kenalah pergi kan? But since I have nothing better to do that day and in addition, maybe I should really see what the fuss is all about with him being one of the jejaka idaman Perlis/Sempadan Thai ketika itu. 18 years ago, all girls can only dream to get noticed by him. What's really flattering now is that he noticed me after 18 years, and that is good enough reason to say yes for a meeting.

However, I'm too tired now.Dengan bag yang belum dipack, I have an early flight to catch to Dublin tomorrow and if the tuan rumah memberik permisi, I will lenjan his laptop, broadcasting my coffee encounter with once-upon-a-time handsome man all the way from Republic Of Ireland.

While menunggu gossip panas ini, marilah kita bersama-sama mendoakan agar footballers kat Malaysia akan bermain bola dengan lebih gigih dan mengambil iktibar daripada squad Iraq yang dalam negara berperang-perang itu pun, masih boleh bermain bola dengan cemerlangnya, tanpa perlu menayang bulu dada dalam majalah URTV,Mangga,Jambu Batu,Asam Boi dan lain-lain.

Dan juga, kepada wartawan-wartawan kat Malaysia tu, sudah-sudahlah nak menulis or membesar-besarkan cerita anak Fauziah Latiff striking pose dengan anjing.Asalkan budak-budak tu tak makan anjing dah le.Ramai lagi orang melayu bela anjing, for protection...so, what is the difference?

Lastly kepada politician yang takut benar kat Bloggers-bloggers, what is the matter? Orang tak boleh bagi pendapat kah? Let them write what they want to write and let the readers be the judge of what they read.Kalau betul, betul lah, kan?

Speak soon.

Fauziah Latiff and her life

Fauziah Latiff become kak jan for the second time time.Haiyoooo....I don't have any bad words for Fauziah Latiff because I suka Fauziah Latiff, I do feel sorry for her and to the men that has decided to ditched her, well, what can I say but 'you're don't know what you're missing'.Tapi, adakah ucapan itu appropriate, pasalnya, they 'had' her...so, what is there to missed and yearned?

Fauziah Latiff was the in thing when I was growing up and because of her, my first wages in KFC went straight to that black Reebok shoes ($139.00), the shoes that she wore in that Pesta Kingsway.Those days, $139.00 is like so big, something that I know my parents wouldn't easily nak kasi just to buy a pair of shoes.My school shoes doesn't cost that much (Pallas Jazz) and according to my mother, if I want a black shoes so much, why didn't I get the modestly priced black Pallas Jazz yang tak sampai $13.00 tu? But what do they know about fashion and the needs to have what famous people have? Memanglah ajaran sesat kan Kiah? Samalah seperti tidak mematikan telefon bimbit ketika tengah ber meeting.Manusia professional apa kah ini? Menjawab telefon masa tengah sibuk bermeeting?

When Fauziah Latiff was still married to that person I know (hehehe..bukan claim to fame ni, but that person and one of my closest friend are cousins) they lived not very far from where I live now. I was living up north and sometime travel to London to meet up with friends. I never see them together but I know at that time Fauziah Latiff was living in London mengikut lakinya. My friend constant said that Fauziah is a very soft like kekabu and how, she want to introduced me to her (just because when I was in school, I owned few of her album).But at time, finishing what I was doing was far more important that jumpa artis-artis fofuler ni. Ye lah..kalau I tak pass periksa, I bukannya ada laki anak raja, kerabat diraja or tokey supermarket to bagi I makan kan? So, Fauziah Latiff and hubby that time can still live happily without being introduced to me. Not long after that, I heard that that they are going separate ways.Marriage was hush and splitting up at the same speed.

And then you read about so many men that is crazy about her and satu pun tak kena layan. Kesian kan Azwan Ali (well, dah beralih arah ke dia sekarang, judging from the foundation yang tebal mengalahkan Bukit Sayong tu) I lost touch with all the gossips and only keeping up when I visited my cousin yang kononnya middle class ni, tapi, bawah katil bersusun majalah mangga and majalah tah hapa-hapa tu. Eh aku ni..mengata orang, tapi sama-sama jugak membaca kan?

When I was in Melbourne, I read about her marriage to that botak but hensem man.And I was like thinking....good things will only come to people who wait. At this stage of my life, I no longer berminat about other people's kahwin/cerai/spliiting up/tangkap basah because I myself tengah sibuk berduka lara dengan si siamang tu.My life time table was too pact, dengan wallowing self pity nya, dengan melayan mana-mana admirers just for a rebound nya and experiencing new life experience....sexually.Ish..ish..too much information.

Tiba-tiba, masa I sibuk membaca Utusan Online that day, ternampaklah heading news about Fauziah Latiff dah bercerai dengan 2nd husbandnya.Well, ada jugak terbaca and terdengar someone talking about them in that manner but, until the news is announce from the horses mouth, I think one should not try to listen to cats mouth.

Now, confirmed dah kan.Siapa-siapa yang interested tu, pergilah isi borang. People mengumpat about how Fauziah constantly denying about her status but come to think about it, Malaysian Marriage Institution took ages to release a divorce decision.You can verbaly divorce today and only to be officially divorce years later. In that case, I think Fauziah is doing what is right, you can't simply said 'ye tuan/puan, saya dah kena cerai'. Until so many things can come through, they both might reconcile, so kalau tak jadi bercerai, kan ke malu?

To Fauziah Latiff, there's plenty of fish in the sea...or maybe, you fancy trying octopus for once?

Coffee ? Me?

Whaddayaknow Friday, the day that I can opt to work from home (takdenya work from home, tengok TV, masak maggie...bom bom and dengar musik) Psychologically, on the day like this, I can never sleep after 6am, tapi kalau hari yang I kena kerja masuk office tu, haiyooo..pukul 7.30 am pun susah nak bukak mata.Since I terlampau sibuk 2,3 hari ni, I dah terlalai pulak nak gi gym and I can feel that my tummy is bulging (or is that sebab tak berak 3 hari dah ni?) Mana senokot ku?

Since the last 2 or 3 weeks, I kinda look forward to Friday, pasalnya, adalah seorang wanita desperate - but - working - as - a - specialist - housewife tu akan menghapdate blognya, but this morning, as early 8am aku dah terpacak online, takde pulak nampak bebayang dia update.Is she

a) Busy sangat ke menemani laki metrosexualnya yang terchenta tu gi window shopping?
b) Anak kucing dia sakit ke?
c) Gigih mendera orang gaji Indonesia nya (hence the only way to jadik famous kat Malaysia)
d) Or, she would rather writing letter to M&S, komplen kenapa takde her desired bra size in KL
e) Tidur kat office?

But, as a newly-turned-positive person (since yesterday) I will not let her blogging absence bother me.But I will continue to drop a hint, and kalau lah dia pandai read between sheets, she will rise from her doom silence and challenge my hints.(But why am I like this? Am I falling in love with you Kiah?) True when people said, we always want what we can't have.Ceshhh!!!!

Dalam pada hari Jem'at yang berkat ini, adalah seorang jantan gigih from Reading (not very far from London) texted me in the early morning (hamboii..cepatnya bangun..semayang subuh ke or dia ni bangsa yang suka berkongketan disubuh hari..oishhh..mulut!!!)

****Are we still on for the coffee date? Call I ye, I xbusy hari ni****

Kalau nak tahu, nilah jantan schoolmate I yang hensem-turned-debab whom I bumped into on the train back from Waterloo last Monday.Gigih sungguh nak ajak aku minum kopi.First of all, I wish I can tell him that, being me,yang dah dekat berbelas tahun bermastautin kat sini, I have difficulties reading text in so-called Malay abbreviation.I have to ring my sister in KL to ask, what does people mean by X...kapak ke or exes? I remember seeing this a lot even in my comments and shout box, I remember asking people, apakah bendanya X ini..., and pada hari ni, thanks to my sister yang tengah membeli ikan kat Giant Shah Alam tu, this X actually means 'tak'. Hohoho...tak busy lah ye?

Hmmm...according to Kiah, men actually not good at interacting using telepathy method.Of which, much better than pompuan, yang kenkadang nak mintak present from their hubby or bf, kena hint-hint sampai berbulan lamanya.With jantan ni, jangan nak hint-hint, cakap aje.I made a mistake by suggesting 'we go for coffee one day yeah' to this schoolfriend of mine.Honest truth is, I'm not into meeting up with old friends anymore, and this guy wasn't even a friend, he is just a guy from old school, who maybe noticed me because I'm in the school compound.

Semenjak dua menjak jadik wanita bermulut lepas ni, I have to pick and choose who can be my friends, bukan sombong ye but, I would rather remain anonymous than have people think of me of all sort.Well, not that I care what people think anyway...but, sometimes, when the truth is heard, hati terasa lah jugak, especially bila ada kes....salah sangka dah salah tafsiran..menjadikan kitaaa..mangsa keadaan (wehhh Sheila Majid) As much as you want to educate one to become open minded and not everything is persecutory, we sometimes failed to notice our own self-fragility (ish..cam tak kena je word ni) and mulalah, start kecik ati.But, what can you do?

I was just being polite, although yes, I wouldn't mind coffee date.I for one, memang suka minum kopi. Apalah yang boleh terjadi kat coffee date kan? Bukannya I ni pandai multitasking pun...yakni..habis minum, bawak orang balik rumah (siapakah itu?)

But really, I would rather be on my own than ber coffee-coffee an dengan si jejaka tembam yang most certainly will ask plenty of uncomfortable questions.

But, I really don't like to let people down.Maybe I'll answer his text later and say yes (padahal aku lah yang memula gatal meng suggest) to the coffee.

New Age Kids

Is it just us or is it them that are turning into a fragile generation that can't be hit with a match stick? I'm talking about the school kids nowadays.When I was in a primary school, I remember my class teacher pinching my stomach skin blue simply because I can't memorised sifir 3. This same teacher push my head and my forehead hit the black board when I can't solve 7x6. The art teacher made me stand on my chair the whole 40 minutes lesson because I have forgot the drawing paper. I never once told my parents, because I know if I did, I will get the same thing done to me and maybe this time, doubled.

My younger sister became an English teacher and currently (in her words) are teaching the like of anak-anak pontianak in secondary school in Shah Alam. She told me that once, the female pupils made a pass on her husband when he came round to pick her up and the same silly girls blatantly told her without ounce of shame that 'Cikgu, suami cikgu hensem lah...saya rasa nak one night stand lah'. Haiyooo...I don't know how my sister took it (because when she told me that, it was around talking about what students nowadays are like) but I can imagine how embarassed she was to hear that coming from budak hingusan like that. She told me how stressful it was and how she can no longer educate them morally as she fear she might become the brunt of their anger and what worst, their parents might retaliate.

There was a news about how unhappy parents were with the way their children is being disciplined.On another matter, I can't help to think that maybe the 'discipline' bit was taken on a bit emotionally by the unhappy teacher,who no longer teach because they love to teach. Hish...betul ni, ada case macam ni terjadi.

A school teacher wrote to me recently, telling me that he can no longer enjoy teaching because the school where he works has turned into a playground hell with plenty of anak setan in making.I don't usually give advise (because that is not what we do!!!) but in our exchange emails, I did try and point out things that are blurry to him, until he finally realised that it wasn't the student that is making him angry, his anger is just because he felt stuck with nowehere to go and had to stay in his job for security reason. I believe that many of us choose to stay put in our job simply because we can bear thinking into getting ourselves into another hassle, or too comfortable in our current setting or simply, do not know what else to do. Things made worst if we already have commitments.

I pointed out to my sister (when I spoke to her last) that I cannot believe that she loves what she is doing.And now with children and mortgage, she may think that she have no other choice but to keep teaching.She has always made it very clear why she had to go into teaching only to realised in the end that her heart does not lies in it.

When we look back, in the olden days, people who become cikgu's had the ambition embedded in them since zaman they all main masak-masak...awak nak jadik apa..kami nak jadik cikgu tawww..., and this cikgu wannabe, from darjah satu til masuk Maktab Perguruan, the only thing that comes out from their mouth is 'nak jadik cikgu..nak jadik cikgu'.

In my years of studying, some of my friends just have to opt to teachings, simply because there's nothing else that they can do.Furthermore, teaching profession is so secure with pencen and all that with no possibility of redundancy, so...to them, this is it..my new future and hello to the next 30 years of unhappiness.Of course this is unethical, but when you are a beggar, can you afford to window shops? I guess to justify what was thought unethical is by doing what you paid to do wholeheartedly.Emotion aside, you are there to educate.This is very obvious than before, where when my cikgu cubit me, I always knew that the cikgu meant well (except for some cikgu yang memang puaka)

With many attempt of discipline goes wrong, I honestly feel that parents should stop taking things too personal and the disciplinarian to stop being emotional and highly irrational when disciplining.

Speaking about taking things personally, I met this person who spent large amount in Malaysia doing recruitment consultation. She shared with me her experience dealing with Malays and other race, and how she find Malays too sensitive over little critisism, however constructive it was.I cannot agree more.I have people coming to me and Liza for help. What this people don't realise is that the best help must come from within, because there is only so much that we can assist.Most of them expect everything to be done for them in an instant. I can't help to point out what is wrong what I think they should do, hence telling them that certain negative attitude need to be dropped.But the only thing that we heard echoed from afar is how we refused to help, how we 'tak nak tolong kawan dalam kesusahan' and macam-macam.

I'm quite fortunate that I need less help than other people but by saying that, I'm not at all suggesting that I'm so great that my feet don't touch the ground.I'm usually very specific about asking for help and I usually know to what extent can I expect help from others. Being in a land far away from home, people like me usually have to depend on gut instinct and have to quickly adapt to the right attitude in order to survive.That means that you got to have a brain on your feet!!!

Life is probably not easy for now but believe me, it is you who knows what you really want and at this tight time where you may find yourselves unable to think, all advise from friends who cares really come in handy.Just listen and think.

What you musn't do is to think negative on what been said.I think that is probably why I was misunderstood.Maybe we just live in a different world, kan?

Tapi, apakah kena mengena semua ini dengan cerita budak sekolah hypersensitive, cikgu tension or orang melayu sensitive? Let's check apa yang aku makan hari ni....3 botol 500ml Diet Coke, M&S microwavable hotplate meals and 3 mugs of black coffee. All in one day. Patutlah kepala stoing kan?

Selamat memberi kucing makan ye, puan puan....

Rainy Day & Monday

God knows how much I loathe going out nowadays. I’m just lucky that 50% of my work can be done at home (sambil mencuri tulang) but because of so many things that happened in workplace, I have to opt working outside office to make way for Miss Nigeria to kena belasah from the bosses. In a way, outdoor work makes me happy and I wonder why I didn’t study to become occupational therapist yang kerjanya selalu berkeluar-keluaran.

But, tah hapa silapnya meteorological systems lately ni, we keep getting rains liking to cat and dogs and what have you, melimpah ruah River Thames tu. I just have to pray not to be caught in the rain or better still, stranded in between national rail or tubes, for that matter. Bila dah tersangkut tu, I often terkenang, why am I never bother to buy a car? But thinking back that owing a car is more hassle than berlaki, I shall remain content with my Oyster Card. In fact, there’s no yearly insurance to renew, MOT appointment to make, tayar pancit to tukar and most importantly, no monthly instalment to pay. What can I say, I would rather see plenty money stunted in my bank rather than having to pay all sorts. Speaking of Hjh Bakhil.

The news was saying that the heavy downpour is due to hot air colliding with cool air between Europe and England. Well, I don’t know. There even a joke about the cumulus nimbus cloud was caused by people smoking outside the pub since smoking in pub is no longer allowed. But for sure, I do not like it. I dislike the fact that my kepala will start berpening-pening lalat when the rain keep falling on it, my trainers become dirty with sand and muds and my bottom trouser become the victim of the lecak. Eeeee!!!!

Yesterday, during the late hour’s downpour, there I was, stranded in Waterloo Stn, after arriving from Norwich. The Rail Company cancelled many services and I have to make do with what is available, and what is available is a train coaches turning into tin sardine with so many manusia tah datang dari mana. Believe me; you wouldn’t want to be trapped in the same coach with people baru habis kerja. Not only that they are not freshly smell, some of them are stank with booze breath. Haiyooo.....(By saying this, for those yang nak datang London di musim panas-panas tahi lembu ni, sila spray perfume in one spot of your arm, so you can smell it when you most need it, when standing next to 10 hari tak mandi guy)

I was lucky enough to get a seat and avoid the world (to avoid feeling guilty bila ternampak mana-mana org tua or pregnant woman, because I so don’t want to give up my seat, Sue) and listening to my MP3. People started to gushing into the train and I can feel the heat of millions bodies, but...I keep looking out.

When the train is moving, I brave my eyes to look across me and I saw this chubby guy with East Asian complexion sitting opposite me, surprisingly, staring at me. I think he was embarrassed to be caught but from the corner of my eyes, I can see that he start looking at me again when I pretend to scroll over my MP3. I decided to stare back, I normally wouldn’t do that but this is really annoying as we sat in the quite close proximity plus, I have got to defend my human rights not be stare at like that (macam bagus aje...)
Dalam hati, I wanted to ask...apa masalah you pandang-pandang I, I ada hutang ke or ada bread crum ke kat mulut I, or is it my hair yang dah tak cantik after angin kuat and dah terkena air hujan tadi? I’m not so sure if he is Malay, but I do know how friendly a Filipino is bila dia ternampak orang dia...and I am ever so ready to tell him that I am not from Philippines, if he ever starts that kind of conversation.

When I look across, he asked ‘You budak MRSM kan? Alamak...siapa dia ni? Now is my turn to stare. I think I finally recognise him, in fact, looking back 18 years ago; he was one of the popular guys in school and good looking. I even know his name (weh...siapa tak tau nama jantan hensem kan?) I smile and I know mati hidup balik pun, he will not know what my name is. I was just this tak popular and nerd girl years back in fact, kucing makcik dewan makan pun tak recognise I.

But, tah macam mana, I don’t feel the need to be shy anymore because

a) He is no longer the handsome boy that he was
b) He is indeed overweight hence induce the pakcik pakcik appearance
c) Because we are in England now
d) Plus, I kan dah lawa.....semenjak cucuk-cucuk BOTOX ni (cehhhh)

I ask him ‘apa you buat kat sini ?’ Like other Melayu my age, he is here for his PHD and working with the government. I was struggling not to be so rude asking kenapalah kau debab sangat la ni...and dah tak hensem, but I must agree with fact that people, especially at our age (he is my age) to succumb to the effect of the gravity.

We had ½ hour chat until I stop at my destination. He, like every other man I know, didn’t marry their ‘cinta cam nak maut’ girlfriend. How I know that is because I asked what happened to so and so, and macam biasa, the so and so dah lama jadi history.

We didn’t have chance to talk about me (ohh...what a relief) but promise to meet up soon for coffee to catch up. He looks keen...but, before agreeing to meet up, I must remember to ask if us meeting up is okay with his wife (kalau dia dah berbini lah...)

After all this years, the once upon a time handsome boy did said something that made my day yesterday.

‘You still look like you’re still in form 5, only better’. Cehh.....nak ayat ke tu?

Tough Love...Love, Tough!!!

Somebody close to me bebaru ni mengalami krisis rumahtangga yang meletop cam nak rak, hampir kepada nak terjadinya percerai-beraian (apa jadik dengan A1 B.Malaysia SPM ku itu?) Somehow I thought, when people get into maturity, there will be no more hanky panky and will look at their relationship in a more solid way.Too much things is at stake.I, for one, can't even think of starting anew, let alone, adjusting into another person's life.If the current one can last, let it last.I'm too old for another hassle.Seriously, too old!!!

But unfortunately, we can't control other people's feelings and behaviour. When I was working in a hotel, numerous time I encounter this wealthy pakcik checking in with a young lass you can even call your cucu. This same pakcik I saw while buying lemang sebenar (need to mention the word 'sebenar') kat pasar malam TTDI along with his tudung wife carrying bags of barang dapur. Worst of all, this pakcik is my father's neighbour and mesjid mate. At time, I was so ringan mulut nak bagitau my father what this pakcik up to, but, knowing my father never berminat nak bergossip-gossipan, telling him that scandalous things will only be the effort of mengabihkan boreh.

The pakcik gatal secret rendezvous takde kena mengena with this post (although, I can start anytime to mengata him...siap kau Pakcik!!!) I just thought of him, identifying his infidelity to my friend secret indiscretion. My friend ni, nak kata ada mid life crisis, tak jugak because, ever since I kenal dia, dia memang flirtatious gila. I never know anyone with so many marriage proposal and so many spare parts, as in jantan-jantan yang ever ready untuk di telephone dan diajak keluar. So commitment-phobic that she remain single until last year. I was so happy that she finally found her soulmate but knowing her, I still feel the little tinge that old habit die hard.

Alkisahnya, dia tertangkap. Ghope-ghopenya, dalam pada blissfully married tu, masih ada lagi skandal-skandal tak habis. I'm not at all suggesting my friend is a slut or a nympho thus tidak ada langsung perkara-perkara yang menconteng permanent marker pen ke muka ever berlaku antara dia dan secret admirer dia, but, there is a type of people who enjoy endless compliment and up for some danger challenges.She is one of them.Her flirtatious behavior selalunya menguntungkan, like before, we never pay for our meals as all this jejantan gatal was ever so keen to flash out their cash and here, we get away with few doors to knock for help. Life was easier with her good pr skiils.

I wish not to go into details of what she's done, but enough to break the heart of her love one who is also a good friend of mine. But I guess, in the end, love, undoubtedly is blind, conquers everything and they're now in good term. While what was done is good enough reason for a dry cut, the hurtful one decided to forgive (not sure if dia akan forget) and start picking up where things was left.

I would kill to know why some of us are ever so happy to be a sucker for punishment...me in count. I know my heart was broken into smallest pieces and those small pieces got thrown straight to my face, yet, I gave in to love (konon nya) forgive and forget. I know I shouldn't but when emotion runs high (like water in the river Thames now ni) the person you love seems to be the only mankind that exist.

Kudos to those heartbreaker and got away with it, and best of luck to those with the heart of gold, who is willing to forgive, forget and start anew.For someone who had been on that boat before, I certainly understand why such decision were made. It is just love, and nothing at all.

(Nama mangsa terpaksa dirahsiakan kerana dia sangat popular, boleh tak?)

P/s I do, appreciate your concern regarding Baby Sam, his Lala and the big fall. After reading your comments, aku dengan rasa penuh guilty conscience, terus menelepon mummy nya, asking how is he after that fall.Dengan selamba dia cakap, well, Babies do fall!!! Don't worry. Of course he is fine. I guess, I just have to wait for the day the solicitor letter to arrive, Sam suing me for negligence, 19 years to come.Hehehehe....

Ada Seekor Binatang Yang Jahat...

La La Yang Tak Bersalah

Hish…taktau macam mana nak cerita ni, but yesterday, I did something awful and even I can’t even bear to repeat telling it to myself, let alone publishing it in this blog. The worst of all, I blame my criminal doing on La La. How I can reduce to that?

I got a phone call from Dr M yesterday (ni bukan Dr Mahathir ye…but the doctor that I’m doing my clinical work with) Dr M ni, haiyoo..kesiannya, selalulah bernasib malang walaupun hatinya baik.Her au pair decided to resign dengan serta merta that left her in a lurch with 3 anak kecik. Life get even worse dengan laki yang tak menolong walaupun masa membuat baby-baby tu, dialah yang play the biggest part.So, she called and asked might I be free to help, yelah, with 3 boys, yang kecik baru je belajar berjalan, yang second kecik ada learning difficulties so, in a way, to look after him is like looking after a baby, tak boleh kena tinggal langsung and the eldest, baru 9 years tapi, mengada-ngada nya mengalahkan budak kecik. I agreed lah, since I have not seen Sam since ages and Dr M is ever so nice to me.

I was looking after Sam most of the time while Dr M attend to the 2^nd child yang special tu. Dalam pada watching him tu, I decided to menolong lah bits and pieces memandangkan rumah Dr M cam tongkang pecah.I was quite good though, jaga baby and then tidy up sikit-sikit (kau boleh, Kiah?) While Sam walking around, I pun lipat kain, susun suratkhabar (celaka bapaknya, dah baca, main cecampak aje) and kutip all the soft toys yang bergelimpangan sana-sini.But then I realised that while I was tidying up, Sam is pulling out all the things that I tidied, and so, I lifted him, gave him a little LaLa and sat him on that adult rocking chair.I then continue tidying up and cooing him from afar.

The next, Sam jatuh berdebup sampai I naik takut and ran fast to pick him up. The dentuman kepala dia atas lantai enough to made me rasa nak pengsan and out of shock, I must have screamed for him, sampai bapaknya pun datang.Sam was crying hard (why wouldn’t he…dah forehead, hidung mancung and his lips tersembam atas wooden flooring tu) I cuddled him…rubbed his head gently, feeling so guilty and angry, why was I so stupid to sat him on that high chair?

Bapaknya tanyalah what happened (understandably knew that his son fell over) …nak tau I jawab apa?

He tripped over his LaLa…

(Tak kan I nak bagitau, I sat him on that chair and left him kan?...Tak ke nanti aku dimarahnya or diterajang tanpa belas kasihan)

His father, noticed that I panicked and scared, said ‘Oh..don’t worry, it’ok..it’s ok’. I feel guilty even more…

I can’t sleep last night, thinking about what I’ve done…so careless and most importantly, so gutless!!! I blamed LaLa? Pengecut sangatkah aku sampai si Kuning Kecik yang tak bersalah tu jadi mangsa?

Wah…kejinya diriku!!!

Tuesday Things

News hari ni ;-

a) Thierry Henry yang kononnya the saint among the women tu, dah mengkhabor kan kat publicist nya (dan publicist nya teruslah bagitau reporter surat khabar kan?) yang dia akan meng 'terminate' kan contract bininya.Puaka.There I was, sanjung dia cam nak mampus, like, however famous he gets, namun, dia takdelah segatal David Beckham nak melayan pompuan-pompuan lain semasa ketiadaan Posh.The newspaper always praise him a good man, husband and father and up until last Sunday, we never read anything negative about them.Tah macam mana this morning, on my way to Heathrow Marriot sebab nak jumpa the famous Captain Lukman, the deejay were discussing their nuptial and calculate on how much Claire (his wife) can walk away with. The weekend news reported yang kununnya, si TH ni sesaja tinggalkan mobile phone dia and the wife anxiously checked on his messages, maka terjumpalah gegambor yang provocative, enough to dijadikan bahan pergaduhan and teruslah si TH ni keluar rumah.(Macam familar je kelakuan asal gaduh terus keluar rumah tu...siapa tatau!!!) Sesuatu sangat kan? I was hoping to read/hear something positive about them today tapi tup tup, confirm nak bercerai pulak lah hari ni. They said the wife can get £7 millions, and because they had a daughter together, maka, makin kayo lah soon-to-be ex wife nya. Well, until I know anything factual, I tak nak lah mengumpat si TH ni, but...kalaulah dia kahwin dengan I dulu, maka, eventhough dia dah fed up dengan I, takdelah I akan jadik jahat sangat nak claim itu ini sampai dia nak jatuh miskin.So TH, served you right...apasal tak nak I that day?


b) In Malaysia, adalah seorang ibu ni, telah melahirkan rasa tak pueh hati nya, because apparently Malaysian TV is currently ( or dah kena banned as we speak) showing some bread ad, involving a young boy exhibiting a boisterous behaviour yang kununnya, tak seswai lah dengan budaya anak-anak orang Malaysia (or melayu) yang kaya dengan segala good manners tu.This overworrying ibu, tak nak lah kiranya the Malaysian kids to think that it is okay to behave the same, comdemning the goverment for allowing the airtime hence, encouraging such ill manners. Ish...tataulah nak cakap apa, but no offence to that caring mother, I think all mother should stop thinking that their child ni terlampau bangang yang semua tak elok ditunjuk dalam TV tu akan di copy habis-habis dek anak-anak masing-masing.Well, children do copy things...but they also can think which one (the bad one especially) that will land them into trouble.Afterall, boisterous nature is common...eh, takdelah common...anak Kiah Kidman kan ala-ala anak solehah gitu (albeit evident menarik ekor kucing) In the end, kalau semua nak kena kondem, apa lagi yang nak ditengok? The scene of naughty children, disobedient children semuanya ditunjuk tanpa rasa bersalah oleh TV kat sini, but we never heard of parents complaint cam nak rak (but, I think somehow they only tak suka the telly showing all those junk food advert...well, that make sense..tapi budak kat UK tetaplah debab!!!) I do have a parent role in my job, I did asked my patient to avoid watching all that nasty talk show...but only because my patient (especially yang sorang tu ada case paranoia berlebihan) will start thinking that all people out there is like what he sees on telly.But somehow, it is good for them to see such things so that mereka tahu yang donia ni takdelah bed of roses...or anyone yang tak reti senyum tu ada middle child syndrome (cilakak ko Kiah!!!)

But what do I know about what is good or bad for a child kan? Anak pun takde.When I was young, my father was so opposed on me watching that cerita cina 7pm daily.His excuse that time was 'jgn tengok cerita cina tu...nanti jadi cina'.I can't tell whether that is a indirect insult to my mother who is half chinese or my father is a racist (of which I doubt) but for sure, the reason why he was so angry that time is because I was so engrossed watching Cheung Wai Kit and that amoi lawa (sapalah nama dia ye...Maggie Cheung?) that I squeezed my maghrib prayer during the iklan.Nowadays, I watched telly like world is going to end, much to Frankie's annoyance sampai kena catu pulak.But I hardly think that TV is a bad influence to a child.By saying that...thanks Kiah for the offer of cerita-cerita hantu, but NO THANKS ye...life is too wonderful to be marred by that kind of shit!!!

I was very fortunate to have met Captain Lukman today.Very soft spoken...membuatkan I yang tak soft ni rasa malu yang amat sangat.Bila jumpa Makji Eton, I was reduced into thinking, bilalah aku nak jadi wanita melayu terakhir yang pandai masak and kemas rumah ni...and today, seeing Lukman yang khabarnya rajin masak tu...(kantoi kan, aku makan ready made food aje) enough to made me feel, maka tak kan adalah harapan I nak jadik wanita melayu terakhir.So, sampai tua lah tak berlaki gamak nya, kan Kiah?

Makji Esah 29 years ago

This was taken 29 years ago...and all this years, 29 years after, I still don't like my photo taken.

Life is great, for some...

The Macam Bagus Couple Jordan & Peter

Recently, sekeluarga Beckham ni decided to quit Europe and move across Atlantic and will join the rest of the American A-listers.The send off was great and from what was shown at our local TV malam tadi Manal oiii...the Beckham was received well, in fact, more than well by the Americans. Hish...bertambah sakit lah hati mana-mana WAG (wives and girlfriends) yang kurang gemar dengan si Victoria itu.Kita yang tak WAG ni pun...(especially Jordan yang bukan setakat tetek aje besar, dengki pun besar) cemburu kat si Posh ni.

I ni bukanlah expert sangat nak analyse football, but I wonder why USA? David Beckham is way too rich to accept the American's millions and to compete against the kaki bangku.Have we heard of any famous footballer from USA? I'm thinking that this is no longer football pride, where a player will play because he genuinely into football one and money two (macam abang I si Theirry Henry tu) Who can you play against in USA? That is a footballer talking...but,kalau dah makin tua and will retire in 3 to 4 years more, as a player or a worker, you just have to be where the money is.And for that, good for David Beckham lah, to play with any TomDickandHarry and triumph in the USA. Victoria pulak, pasni, bolehlah bukak kilang balik.Tak guna nya dok gi bagi interview kat sana-sini...'Oh, me and David are hoping for a baby girl'.Jangan dok hoping aje...start lah humping kan? But sebelum memakai uniform tu, silalah habiskan 'SpiceGirl Reunion Tour' dulu yek!!!!

There is another news about 2 young gilrls from Islington yang sekarang ni tengah berfeeling Paris Hilton kat overcrowded jail in Ghana, pasal terkantoi bawak laptop full of cocaine.If convicted, maka duduk dalam jail for the next 10 years lah jawabnya.From what I saw last night, this 2 girls claimed that they have been tipah tertipu oleh tah sapa-sapa yang suruh them angkut bag to Ghana.Dalam pada kononnya kena tipah tertipu tu, this 2 young lady also men'tipahtertipu'kan their parents, making them believing into their daughter pergi school trip kat France.Tahu-tahu kena tangkap kat Ghana.

If I am allowed a professional and personal opinion,it will have to be this :-
In my work,I need to look at things at the different angle.For instant, when discussing monster kids.Thank god I'm not attached with Children Services but I do take up a juvenile case and believe you me, if I'm asked what do I think of them personally, suffice to say that natural born bastard does exist.Tapi, we (the professional lah kunun) have to exhaust all the reason behind that monsterous behaviour...and from there,you can see that dalam 100% perangai anak setan berbelang tu, there is a little child trapped, not knowing what is right and wrong, regardless the environment they were brought up.It is just mental defect, of which one will not mengaku and need to blame others.

Parents, if not in pair is a person, with their own kind of behaviour to bring up another person, who is born with his/her own behaviour pattern.There is a case where parents are like god on earth lah baiknya but the anak turn out to be Puaka Tebing Biru.Like my parents, they both baik-baik...but me, so Puaka kan? But it is common that society will turn to parents to justify what they have produced and for the children (being a human yang commonly, tak suka nak mengaku kesilapan) to shift the blame to.Poor parents!!!

When my eldest brother was having a massive behavioural problems, our relatives blames my mother for being so soft on him.But they failed to notice that he, at that sensitive age, needs a father yang masa tu, berterbangan serata alam for work.I learned from what I do now that good discipline is not everything, it may help to create a child personality but seriously, not everything.We develop our personality at young age, we learn through a reflection to what we see and hear and when the brain is mature enough to process its own thing, a person basically function based on what their brain tell them to do.This is why we can no longer blame others...

There was a time that I thought I suffer from manic depression (haiyooo..berkurangan lah kawan ku pasni...larikkk...larikkk you all) I have highs and lows.I experienced manic moments...where I am so upbeat and tiba-tiba, I can suddenly become mentally and physically depressed and switch into lembu debab mode and bertukar menjadik manusia yang malas mandi and tidur sepanjang hari serta makan berkoyan-koyan.

Reality is, I am a human who would normally experience those mood swings, and mood swings is a common effect of a mental breakdown where semua manusia bahkan kucing, anjing and katak puru kodok pun ada, a mental problem that is.Mental health is like a bodily health where, bila-bila masa boleh relapse and cause hazards.This is no longer parents fault.If they are at fault, that is their own mental problems that for some weird reason, affecting the anak badly.

This 2 Islington girls came from a good family background (lah kononnya) that you would least expect that they need to deal drugs to make ends meet.In their defence, they told the Ghanaian authority that they do not know what they are carrying.Lembu shit!!! You're paid £3k each, flight and hotel paid.Although yang tukang suruh bawak tu takdelah terang-terang cakap, Adik boleh tak songlapkan cocaine untuk Abang (as I would imagine) they must have the slightest idea that the trafficking is dodgy.They're 16 years old, not 6.At 16, although they understand literally what charges will be impose on them should they tertangkap, emotionally, as a 16 years old kid, the imagination of what could happen to them,tak lah tersampai di akal yang cetek tu.

So, here it is, in the case of juvenile convict...where semua orang komplain, budak setan, kenapa tak bunuh aje kecik-kecik...we must allow their immature comprehension of life where the reality is, nak muntah mendengarnya. Remember James Bulger? Google him.

Imagine this, 17 years old boy, threatened to rape a teaching assistant but, was pardoned with excuse he doesn't know what he was saying.Of course he is aware of his intention, he knows sex...but what he don't know is the hideous bit of sex attack against the innocent.And we (the professionals) paid to provide that excuse when really, aku nak bakar aje konek budak tu!!!!

Sekian.

Not In So Much Words...

Ohhh....Abang Navy Dublin Port....

Aksi Perlakuan Kejam (Matilaaa...RSPCA Tangkap Pasni)

Makji Esah Dengan Aksi Nak Tergolek Kat Phoenix Park

Hari ini and besok, Makji Esah akan mengambik cuti sakit.Sakit apa, tatau...tapi yang nyatanya...hati memang sakit.Masa nilah nak mengambik kesempatan menggunakan allocation cuti sakit yang my office bagi in a year...4 weeks.I belum pernah ambik cuti sakit since the financial year started, tapi omputeh-omputeh kat sini, selambaaa aje...hari Isnin, ramai betul yang call in sick.Hangover tak sudah lah tu.

I was taken aback with Manal comment in my previous post.Something about buat Sembahyang hajat katanya, 7 hari 7 malam.In my life...dah 34 tahun ni, belum pernah lagi sembahyang hajat.Sembahyang mintak tuhan tunjuk boifren mana nak pilih pun tak pernah (ish..macamlah banyak boifren kan..) I remembered my father taught me of it, but for some reason, tak ingat pulak nak buat macam mana.If I want something really bad, I do pray...in a way that I only understand and I hope Tuhan terima lah sembahyang I yang tah hapa-hapa tu.Mintak pun cakap melayu aje.I tend to live with my own heart-leading theory since I was young, and my mother (bless her soul) selalu cakap...tak kisah lah salah-salah pun and Allah will listen.

If I am being honest,I'm so ashamed with my own religious-conduct.Haiyoo...I keep telling myself, bilalah nak sembahyang ni.It seems very hard to do it...no facilities in the office, kat rumah orang itu jgn nak harap lah...kat rumah sendiri, tahan main game sampai tak tidur malam and my telekung masih cantik berlipat in my drawer.

I read about Razak Baginda vow to buat umrah if he lepas and he, like me...admitted yang all this while he was so lalai and now, bila dah sengsara, barulah nak terkenang.

My own theory pulak lagi, I would call myself anak yang solehah...I obeyed my parents (ada jugak hati tak puas...but that lain cerita kan?) My parents never asked for anything and now and again, I will tt some GBP to my mother (only to kena leter....you should keep yr money for yrself..you're too far for us if anything happen) I never fight them...especially my mother and for that,I know I'm far better than the real muslimah (haiyoo kekwat) I never pointed out my parents mistakes..., all this cummulative, and I keep talking myself out by convincing me that 'my hati is bersih'.But, cukupkah saja dengan hati bersih?

I have read about how defensive one can get over religion issue, sampai bagi death threats...and here I am thinking that Allah is very merciful and takdelah nak hukum bunuh or rejam dengan batu...funny how people can make decision on other people's religious faith based on what they see and hear, macam court case.

One of the comment I received before, saying that my rationale on religion is based on my guilty-conscience.Yes, there is a guilt, but, I honestly cannot believe that one can excuse their guilt.It is very hard...for me it is.

I guess, I can only do what I can.Obviously hoping that the 'can' bit will increase more and more each day.I don't literally pray, but unlike Lina Joy, I pray hard that I will never lose faith (but i do feel sorry for her though), I baca bismillah everytime I start the car engine, before makan and most importantly, bekerja dengan tekun as my ibadat (albeit ber blogging masa bekerja..there goes 1 hour of gaji buta daily) I want to beramal...but I think for now, the amal that I can do is towards my parents, adik beradik and maybe, to kawan-kawan.I'm sure my parents (my mother especially) will pray for my wellbeing.I'm looking forward to balik kampung (yang tak kampung tu) and berbuka puasa dengan my family and kawan-kawan this coming Ramadhan.BTW, ni nak eksyen sikit...I kuat puasa tau...


Kepada my friend yang 2,3 menjak ni malas nak hapdate blog tapi tak pernah lupa menyindir aku dalam blognya, terimalah ucapan...bila nak hapdate, ko pemalas! tapi sms ex boifren rajin pulak!!! (Buat dosa lagi kan?)

Why Am I...

This was paparazzied by Makji Eton...Takde kena mengena dgn I....and I tak bersalahhhhh

a) Masih Dengan Orang Ini

Almost 6 years now.This coming 22nd July is the first wedding anniversary. 3 weeks ago and yesterday, I thought we both are at our happiest.Maybe I have changed for the better, like...becoming more thoughtful,softened and considerate.Or so I thought.But I think I have been.But...I still hope things will work out for us.I was told that what I thought is all 'it's in my head'.What was it? I suppose I should share a bit...I'm moving in with this person permanently...something that I decided that I wholeheartedly want to do after a while.We began prettifying the flat for a bit.Moving the furniture around.My partner know that I am a bit of a freak.I am so pedantic about every little things around me.A typical Capricorn can't easily comprehend the work of art.People like me only understand the obvious kind of arts. Not the unusual one or shall I call it sampah sarap.I did a lot of soul-searching.I must appreciate others 'sampah sarap' because they appreciate my traits.The vile one that is.I must say I am not entirely happy with my new living condition...but, love is sacrifice.I have sacrificed for someone for standing by him for 10years, only to be cheated through and through...and now, when I finally able to accept another person into my life, if getting through hurdles is what it takes, this is what I am going to do.Ceh...macam mangsa domestic violence aje kan?

I am currently having a hard days at work.Thank god Miss Nigeria returns and I am able to break off from the work pressure.But something bad happened.I decided to cool off for a bit with hope to ease off my lower back pain (stress lah ni or PMT?) and planned to spend a week undisturbed with my partner.The air around us was just bad and arguments erupt.I feel like I was not welcome and never going to be (something that I always feel) I was called 'inconsiderate' and the lot.In the end, I just repacked my bag and leave. 'Call me when you're ready for me'. Bongkak nya...

b) The Evil From Beneath

Days get better by second (on the opposite) I hate this part of my job, where I have to manage people.There's a good one, there was a bad one...little that I know that the worst one is about to emerge from the sewage tank.My boss drop me off to the nearest town where I live after our meeting today.In the car, she keep telling me that it's okay...don't worry, I know how you feel.

Here's the gist.Although I am a good disciplinarian, my heart tissues are so soft that I can forgive everyone.This particular person....1st, I caught her sleeping on the job.Opening the front door in her skimpy nighties when she was suppose to be up and about.It is a sackable offence to be sleeping on the job, especially in what we do.But, after suspension and supervision, I decided to forgave her and give her another go.She is a foreigner struggling.I identify with that part of her predicament.The bosses recommended to sack her.I convinced them (and myself) that this is a one off. 2nd, a letter came in the post not very long after the first offence.It was addressed to some employment agency but was returned due to wrong address, but at the back, there was this small note from Royal Mail that it must be return to the sender, of which was us (the organisation) I opened it. I was shocked to see that this person has forged my signature in a reference letter for her that supposedly to have been provided by me.I asked her again and again..why did she do it and did she know what is she letting herself into? Instead of sacking her, I asked her to resign voluntarily and consider the matter closed.My intention was pure.She made a mistake with us (and me) but I shouldn't ruined her future by tarnishing her exployment record with forgery/criminal charge.I thought she was sorry...I let her continue working until her visa expires.But things gets more dodgy each days.She misplaced some money that belongs to a patient.She claimed that her passport is lost when I began my inquiry check.Although I believed her, this time, I reported this 2 things to my boss.Just in case.I think, I can deal with disciplinary issues but when comes to security, the bosses need to know.

I discovered something awful happened at work and relates closely to this person.I asked Miss Nigeria to handle the case.I was told today that she made an allegations against me,something related to missing items and how she allegedly was 'asked' to do it by me.According to Miss Nigeria, she went around telling my other staff,convincing them that I am in the wrong.Behind my back (not following complaint procedure) she contacted all the bosses she know to report my 'ill conduct at work'. All the way from Kingston to Twickenham today, the only thing my boss could mutter apart from 'it's okay...I know how you feel' is 'this is the person that you bent backward to help, and this is what you get'.

After so many things that happened, am I that bangang not to learn my lesson?

Ohhh...Aku Di Tagged

Jangan Pandang Depan????

When I was in Dublin (ish..tak bagi chance Makji nak bergumbira nooh?) I was tagged by Lee. I only got the chance to do it today, but, after I dah complete all the questions, I then tak reti nak buat apa....what should I do next? Terbukaklah rahsia kan, that I am the sort of person who never want to read instruction book and will taram....and bila dah tergadah, baru nak tanya or mintak tolong orang.Selfish sungguh kan?

So, here it is....

1. A person is only as good as their actions
2. Friendship is always about honesty
3. To love is to be selfless
   
4. Money makes me experience more
   
5. I miss … my loved ones that I can't see anymore
6. My way of saying I care is 'Darling, don't cook...we get takeaway'
7. I try to spread love and happiness by giving the sex education
8. Pick the flowers as long as it is not belong to one's grave
9. To love someone is to have sex with them and leave money under the pillow (as per Kiah)
10. Beauty is Wan Zaleha Radzi & Isabella Rossellini
11. When I was 13, what I remember most was becoming the young student in the secondary school and being a mangsa bulian student more senior than I am. Celaka betul!!!
12. When I was 21, I remember I was struggling to understand a deep Yorkshire accent of all my university lecturer
13. I am most happy when I'm idle
    
14. Nothing makes me happier when I get things done my way
15. If I can change one thing, I will change my attitude
16. If smiles were spontaneous, I won't be having any people thinking that I am so sombong
17. Wouldn’t it be nice to be nice!!!
18. If you want to die, jump up from the cliff top
19. Money is not everything but finishes quickly when you spent it
20. The most touching moments I have experienced when see the sunset of Dubai in the first time after 7 years in England
21. I smile when you smile at me
22. When I am happy I talked non-stop
23. If only I don’t have to visit my kepochi sedara mara when I go home
24. The best thing I did yesterday was eating Mc Donalds
    
25. If I ever write a book, I will give this title What A Lot Of Bollocks!!!
26. One thing I must do before I die is to go to Israel to find out what the fuss was all about
27. Doing this meme, I feel like god on earth...ada ke orang interested nak baca/tahu about me?

Where Have I Been?

Tangan yang menguling (botol wine...desperate sungguh!!!) karipap boleh menghayun dunia...pssttt...cincin mahal enterframe

The generous inti karipap

Karipap awaiting finishing touch...

The Last Supper

Mak Datukkk...ramainya karipap!!!!

Bagi menjawab soklan-soklan tak rasmi yang ajukan kepada Makji via comment box Makji....

1. Spingemoks.....ehemmm...Makji takdelah cuti maternity Paklong Spin oiiii.....tapi, akan diusahakan in the futurelah gamaknya...pasalnya kat UK ni, cuti maternity 6 months, full pay...6 months thereafter, half pay and months seterusnya £75.00 per week gitu.Although kalau nak mengandung tu, I kenalah start carik sperm donor kan? BTW, you don't sound stupid...like me, you sounded bongok aje....

2. Jessica Alba (bukan nama sebenar) Ni satu....pakai tudung, anak dah nak jadik anak dara...tapi molot Mak nya? Cam puaka tebing biru kan? (Hish..mana pulak tau pasal puaka tebing biru ni? Makji dikatanya, kejap rajin meng hapdate cam itik berak....pastu, posting dalam blog page gersang.....macam sex life tah sapa-sapa orang tu...(kau ke Jessica Alba?) Well, bab dry spell in married people's life ni, I tak nak lah cakap apa-apa, tapi kalau sesapa yang berlaki kan jantan yang sebelum kahwin or bila bebaru kahwin...yang bedroom sports nya mengalahkan arnab and tiba-tiba pulak sekarang ni, nak tukar seluar dalam sendiri pun malasnya mengalahkan kobau, maka, silalah kemukakan purchase order untuk Ann Summers bunny rabbit. By the time when your husband notice yang 'bunny rabbit' dia dah naik redundant dek gadget yang sebatang tu, maka berpusu-pusulah mereka menge 'charge' bunny rabbit terletak mereka tu. Tak pun, kalau malu nak experiment dengan sex toys, cepat organise extra marital affair dengan Pakcik Guard yang jaga tempat palang kereta tu.Trust me, these Pakcik's will not kiss and tell.....(they shagged and shout!!!) boley?

My motivation to update my own blog only mencanak-canak after a session with an interesting patient. That time, my container (another name for batu jemala) dah penuh and hampir nak melimpah ruah and have an urgent need for disperse.I always find it good for soul. I have not seen any over 2 weeks now, due to adalah orang yang mak nya baru mati. And as a loving partner (I'm trying hard to be) masa ni lah masa-masa professional ku amat diperlukan oleh nya and that is without a charge....and because of this, I hardly even have time for myself.

I told my partner to plan funeral dia sendiri siap-siap and write it down in dia punya will and probate.(tapi harta yang sebanyak taik idung tu, akulah yang dapat kan?) Pasalnya, the agony to plan one.You have got to know the right song,hym and tah hapa-hapa lagi requirement to please the departed soul.I am not going to take any responsibility for that (although, I told Frankie, jangan memandai nak bakar and buang abu I kat tepi bukit ke or dalam laut) I was very anxious after the death. Today can be theirs, besok lusa...kalau aku tercekik tulang ayam KFC yang tak halal tu, camno? I often doa kat Tuhan, biarlah I kalau nak padam pun, biarlah dekat dengan adik beradik and biarlah bila both parents dah takde (by saying this...abah..ibu..hang on as long as you can ye?). I can't bear thinking my parents tunggu my body kat airport. I may sounded a bit (or very) harsh talking to my partner like that but it lies with the fact that the orang putih funeral is not very straightforward and it can stretch the time sampai yang tinggal kat belakang ni pun rasa cam nak mati jugak.I saw my partner reduced to a wreck through the ordeal (ni belum masuk part yang this weekend, we all kena turun Devon lagi sekali nak gi scatter abu mak dia tu....) So, inilah peringatan kat sesapa yang berlakikan/binikan orang putih.To save you loads of hassle, suruh dia tulis kat will dia yang dia nak kena bakar or kena tanam, dia nak pakai baju apa dalam coffin nya, dia nak lagu apa, dia nak poem/hym apa and lastly, dia nak kena rest kat mana...nak flush dalam jamban pun boleh tau.

Not forgetting, yang Wimbledon tengah bergasak-gasak this time and as an avid tennis spectator, maka, I have to put tennis before you people...my lovely mates. Macam celaka lah Amelie Mauresmo boley kalah...( I will be sure to complain about The Williams yang main tennis sungguh lah intimidating itu....hiarhhhhh...hiarhhhhhh...macam hamba sexual tak berbayar aje kan?)

And that, explained my hiatus, yang I ni pergi mengambil bahagian dalam koir sekolah-sekolah (really, I was singing, along with my other in laws during the funeral service) and after that, sorting through the departed belongings...

Half way through the week, I flew to Dublin to meet Makji Eton (after sekian lama berjanji manis nak visit dia) So, there I was in Dublin, in the pissing rain...sampai I dengan Makji Eton terpaksalah buat sight seeing under my umbrella, ella, ella...ehhh...ehh... (hamboi, tak nak kalah!!)

Although not selected to be Raja Nazrin's bride, ke 'high and mighty' an I tetaplah terserlah...that I started bossing Makji Eton around...similarly Datin Kiah ordering her Sunarti...Hey kamu..bikin kuih...bikin nasik lemak....and I, in that 3 days, dijamu makan macam anak Sultan (sapa tu yang komplen kena jalan kaki...apsal tak naik helicopter turun atas padang betul-betul, baru class kan?) Habislah I kena strip nationality pas ni.But honestly, I was so malu that a woman like me (and the 2 MB's), can't even uli tepung buat karipap...and the 'woman' Makji Eton is, haiyooo..sexy mexy karipap nya.

Here I am, posting this to tell you that I just arrived from Dublin this morning, and disambut oleh ribuan arnab kat long stay car park Stansted Airport tu.I was a bit annoyed that Ryan Air main campak-campak je my luggage sampai pecah luggage I.Sialan kan? (Lee, boley ke I saman Ryanair?) I am so tired tapi takdelah yang macam dua orang tu, yang balik rumah terus tido...padahal akulah yg bawak kereta kulu kilir, pergi balik airport.Cisss!!

I will be writing and posting some nice pix (wah....orang ittew pandai ambik gambar and pandai paksa orang ambik gambar) but, I must end this with a million thanks to Makji Eton, yang as we speak, tengah bercanda dengan Suzanna kat Venice,Rome and later, Frankfurt, yang sudi menumpang I kat rumah dia yang lebih cantik dari Hilton PJ (matilah kutuk ex employer) and thanks too, to Dr DBI yang sanggup bersusah payah mengirim kain pareo untuk Makji Esah menunaikan ibadah bergalok di musim lepas hujan nanti...wah...takdelah nak menutup aurat nampak nya...( eh Lee, untuk mung pung ado sebutir, nati kawe poh hoh?)

I will definitely return to Ireland.