About Me

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Love Me, Love My Face

For those who is about read this and lives around me, I am not writing about the documentary telly program pasal that guy yang ada genetic condition tu. But the life story of that man who spent all his adult life trying to get people to like him with face only a mother could love (but in his case, mak pak dia pun put him for adoption after 36 hours after he's been born...macam lahanat makpak dia tu, because they couldn't cope with his deformity)

Not many of us are born 'interesting' enough to be instantly liked by others. Err...may sound unfair to some but that will depend on how you understand it. True, beauty is on the eyes of the beholder, but the beholder also need good feedback and confirmation that they're actually beautiful. Ye la...kang kalau sendiri kata sendiri chantekk, orang kata syiok sendiri pulak kannn???? There is some of us are badly affected by this i.e. no acceptance, no confirmation that they're good looking enough to be admired and often wonder why aren't people generous with nice thoughts and acceptance.

I grew up not having many admirers, be it secretly or openly. Well, kalaulah ada pun, sipeminat I tu tak bagitahu I. Having seen people around me getting letters expressing interests and admiration to them, kenkadang buat hati ni tertanya jugak..eh, tak chantekkk ke aku ni takde yang minat? To menyedapkan hati boleh lah kata, alaa...kita sekolah Convent, manalah ada jantan dalam sekolah ni selain cikgu and pakcik tukang kebun tu. But your classmate pun dapat surat chenta, surat a.k.a. application forms from junior/senior nak buat hadek/kakak hangkat from sesama fomfuens jugak. Tapi kita? Jangan kata nak buat awek, nak jadik kakak/adik hangkat pun takde yang minat....then we started thinking horrible thoughts, kalau sesama pompuan pun tak rasa kita cantik, apatah lagi jantan-jantan kannn???

When I was at that school near jalan keretapi, rata-rata classmate I semua ada boipren. Some even ada 2 or 3 admirers in one go. I met my ex pun kat pekan Arau tu...but we were not boipren gilpren back then. He was too cool..maybe because he was lot older than I am, so he is not like those 16 or 17 year old boys yang terlebih testosterone. Sometime I do wonder if he has it...sebabnya, dia tak pernah mengambil kesempatan atas diri I yang memang menunggu dia mengambil kesempatan...eh gedik nya aku!

I can't remember exactly how does all that (takde orang minat) affecting me as a teenager. But I can recall getting desperate to just accept any budak hingusan yang tak hensem if they happen to express interest. I think it was all about menunjuk and confirmation to self yang kita ni not so bad looking.

But I do realised that, it is hard for me now to welcome any interest just like that. In fact, I even questioned them why...why me? Dulu masa sekolah tak pandang..sekarang kenapa tetiba lak minat? Dulu I tak chantekkk ke? I even have guys from school yang dulu tegur I pun tak nak now dah openly cakap kat FB yang dia nak masuk pinang I. Albeit cakap memain pun...dah berbini, dah botak and dah boroi baru nampak kat I kannn?

When I was with F dan menengok ex gilprenya yang lawa-lawa, made me wonder...apalah yang dia nampak kat I. Bila I tanya dia...dia akan cakap..why does it matter? (well, it matters to me..pasal tu lah aku tanya, ngok!) But F always complimented how I look, too bad jodoh dengan dia tak panjang but that really made me feel so good about myself.

With MC, if I am honest...my low self esteem doesn't help. Apart from dia never compliment or tell me how good I look. One will say, why does this bother you..you're together now, that's is it. I tanya dia recently, I wonder what you love about me...and dia cakap..ohh..you're loving, caring, kind and generous. Idok la dia nak cakap..aku ni cute ke apa...iskkk.

As much as this may sound shallow, I do think that it is important that we know that one of the factor why we are with the person we with is because how good we look to them. WE want to be this 3 in 1 person who he/she fell in love with. IF we are kind and caring, is that enough to warrant the longevity of interest? Does kindness turn you on? Will you be sexually attracted to someone just because they're caring? Jaga kat guardhouse rumah kita pun caring gak..tapi adakah itu jugak membuat kita nak melompat kat dia?

I do think that the title applies in all kind of relationship. IF you love me, you have to love my face. It might be easier for a woman to love a man without loving their face. But I maybe wrong.

I hope I am.

13 comments:

FA said...

u r absolutely right makji, love me love my face!! i ni dari bf ex bf laki ex laki etcetc etc tak pernah pun compliment yg i ni cantik depan mata depa..adakah ku begitu hodoh sekali? hmmphh.. i wonder..

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Mak Ji, I know just how you feel....

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Waaah...FA, ada ex laki ka??? hehehe...amboi hang sekarang blog bagi prevettt naa? Anank you chantekk...tu blom tgk mak dia..

CPK, Encik Kamil lupa pegang tangan ka malam tadikk?

Cik Kiah said...

Woi CPK (apa motif gunakan blog orang lain utk cakap ngan u pun tak tau la),
Ko ada boipren yakni si kamil tu masa sekolah lagi, so kiranya tak hazab la kan. I ni bila dah ada duit nak beli lipstik barulah ada sorang dua nak pandang, kan esah kan..

cik said...

Btol la mak ji. i pun sama. kata la baik berjuta kali, kata la i ni caring seribu kali. i nak jugak tanya kat dia..i ni cantik tak? haa ambik kau. :D

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Kannn Cik....apa lah salahnya kata kita ni menawan ke hapa..kembang gaks hati kannn???

Anonymous said...

On another note.. kaum lelaki telah didedahkan oleh media2 bahwa antara contoh2 wajah cantik ialah Angie Jolie, Fasha Sanda, CT Nurhaliza, etc. etc. (bergantung pd diri lelaki atas citarasa masing2). Oleh itu selagi wajah gf atau atau bini lelaki tu adalah jauh tersasar dari kecantikan "wajah wanita cantik" (ikut citarasa dia tadi), maka adalah sukar utk dia, secara spontan, menghamburkan kata pujian "cantiknya gepren I".

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Oooo..bagitu kaa?

aking said...

dulu mak ada ckp uols cantik tp uols dok caya kan?(skrg kang aku di misinterpret sbg pengepau plok). anyhow perempuan yg cantik bagi ku tidak semestinya pd paras rupa, lemah lembut ckp pun nampak cantik. Ni muke je lawo tp prangai serupa firaun buat apa, mulut luas(ckp kuat2 berskala 5.5hectar) pun uduh jgk bg lelaki...

Hati cantik, maka terbitlah kat muka kita..

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Cess Mak Ji... u also menyorok dalam lemari ku kah ?

CK... I punya kes lagi parah hokey... Masa kecik2 dulu choice tak banyak... Dah besar2 ni baru berlambak2 org lalu lalang depan dia... Sekali dia rasa ish boring lah dengan CIk Puan ni... ganti ngan Cik Puan baru ! HA ! Aku gak yang guling2 kang

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Aking...tu statement jantan cakap bila orang sokabar tanya...nak chantekk luar dalam kununn...kalau perangai firaun tapi ghopa cam Fasha Sandat, jantan tetapppppp suka!!! hahahah

CPK, aku agak saja...haiyoo..bebawaklah berehat..hang tu sakit kaki...

starla said...

alamak...terasa dgn entri ni...sbb terkena kat batang idung sendiri...hohoho

aking said...

mokji, tu jantang jenis berahi hok gedik pastu gi rumoh mok mkng dok igt sbb bini lawo je tp kerja rumoh hampeh dok tahu lgsg...wah jantan dok aku?*ops*

starla.....terasakan?hehehe