About Me

Monday, November 29, 2010

The 2nd Wife

Hamboiiii tajuk gempaks, naah? Tapi..ni takde tujuan lah nak cakap buruk pasal orang or nak mengata sesiapa.

Balik bebaru ni, I jumpa my ex schoolmate. Kebetulan opis nya dekat dengan opis MC so, mudah benarlah aku disambarnya bawak makan.Makannn lagi kan? Dah orang Malaysia punya cara sosialan macam tu lah..kalau kat sini, orang ajak you minum kopi aje. Ye lah, everything must start with a drink first, sebab kalau you terus ajak keluar makan..buatnya naik tak habis but your company make you feel like to suap mulut dia dengan pinggan, susah gaks kannn?

I am always happy to see old friends, especially set-set yang masa sekolah memang ngam. I haven't seen her since ITM days. She naik main campus, I kat prepatory college. Nasib orang lain-lain kann..walaupun dia lagi pandaiiii dari I.So after that lunch thing, I thought I should invite her to dinner with another sets of schoolfriends jugak, juga yang ngam masa sekolah. See, I am really selective of picking and choosing with who I want to maintain contact. Ni bukan set-set yang tanya openly kat FB apasal ko tak kawin lagi etc. Orang cam tu, tak jumpa lagi pun takpe. Chaitsss!

But them this girl terus bertukar jadik coil gitu. Then terbukaklah cerita yang ghopenya dia pun dah jarang jumpa another friends since mereka-mereka ni menamat kan alam solo mereka. Set-set ni semua kawin lambat, but not as late as mid thirties la. Careerwoman la katakannnn.

Then she told me, she is leading a very low profile life dengan her hubs. Kisahnya dia ni 2nd wife kepada lakinya, dah 10 tahun lebih dah dia kahwin dengan the hubs yang tidaklah setua mana tu. Talking about early 40's. Of course la I terkejuts bila dengar camtu. My friend ni anak orang ternama la jugaks and I must tell you, lawa jugaklah orang nya..set-set budak baik yang memang takdelah ciri-ciri perampok laki orang ni.

Then I tanya, waaahhh...makpak you tak marah ke? Uishhh....berperang salib jugaklah masa tu. Walaupun pak nya beri ijin, tapi teruklah dia dipulau oleh sedara mara nya.

Then I tanya lagi...bini 'orang tu' tak marah? She said..kau ni, siapalah yang tak marah bila laki nak kawin lain kannnnn....(ish buduh nya I)

But they went ahead and marry. Baru dapat anak sorang. But as a 2nd wife, she knows where she stand in her marriage. She knows he has other responsibility and she knows, she must not expect bed of roses.

But to her other females friends, she was badly judged. I told her to look at thing differently. Nasib lah pompuan boleh berlaki satu aje..so takde excuse nak pi cakap kat laki kita, I dah jatuh chenta kat Anuar Jin and wants to marry him..hence....marilah kita ber bigami. Ni kira kes, I lap you...but I can't help falling in love with him..githoo..(ohh..women can dream)

I said to her I know girls yang keluar dengan laki orang but soroks-soroks with the man takde intention pun nak buat dia bini yang sah. Buat hapa? Okaylah...we really can't help falling in love with the unavailable man...technically. But kalau jantan tu nak bersuka-suka saja dengan you..dating pun setakat datang hantar air? Tak cukup bagus ke you untuk dia buat bini?

I told her, dah jodoh you..terima ajelah. Tapi I tengok dia happy sajaa....kalau dia nak kluar, dia kluar. Ye lah..since your hubs pun dah takleh nak bagi you whole attention...maka, janganlah kau nak dikurungnya dalam rumah pulak kan?

I believe some people can live like that. Ye lah..nak demand sesangat pun...kalau jantan tu nak jugak melebarkan sayapnya kat pompuan lain, you nak cakap apa? I suppose men can never really explain to their wives why they wanted this. Men just don't do heart to heart talk..especially bila dialah yang menjadik penyebab nya.

But I do wonder how woman cope. Or how we could cope knowing our partner also loves somebody else.At times, we may just try to think it is just us..you and him/her but despite how open you can be or want to be about it...ada gak masa-masa you akan rasa jealous yang tak terhingga dan mulalah tanya..apalah kurang nya diri ku...erghhh.

I suppose women should count their blessings if jantan keparat tu ada inisiatif nak ambik dia buat bini. It's far better than stringing you along. God only knows how many strings a man can have. But I must apologise if some wives find this distressing. Ye lah..siapalah yang suka or nak laki dia diambil orang, kan? But not all set out to steal your hubs. Elaklah cemana pun...pandai gak beruang tu datang buat muka seposen.

I nak cakap dengan kengkawan I..macam lah diorang tu baca blog ni kann..just bcos kawan kita ni bertemu jodoh dgn laki orang, janganlah uols tak nak jumpa dia pulak. Kan lebih baik kita dengar cerita kawan kita happy walaupun jadi bini nombor dua daripada cerita dia diseksa laki nya or worst, jadik pompuan simpanan aje tarafnya.

BTW, after many years, family my frens ni berbaik jugak dengan dia dan lakinya...Aminnn.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Never know until you wear the same shoes, eh? Of course it's easier to judge and pass judgement. C'est la vie..

JH

cik said...

Hmm. Kekadangkan terdetik jugak di hati iols. Kalau suatu hari nnt iols berlaki. Dan tetiba dia gatal merenyam nak berbini lagi. Iols rasa mcm nak bagi jah dia pi nikah lagi. Sbbnya bila pk dia dok usung ke sana ke mari dinner sana sini kot kalau terlebih sampai makan atas katil. Baik la dia menikahkan. Ringan sikit dosa dia. Dua-dua pun sakitkan. Tp lebih sakit kalau share dosa sama sbb kedekut takmo share. Allah pasti tau apa yg terbaik utk umatnya kan. Tp ye lah kan. Senang menaip macam makan kuaci. Esok lusa tak tau lagi. Tp talking from experience. Kesabaran pasti terbalas jua. Cepat atau lambat.

*sambung makan kacang :D

NenekPenne said...

i tak consider ur fren tu perampas sebab kalau perampas atau hijacker (apakah???), the hub tu totally for her own use laa kan tapi ni kira sharing...
dah kata sharing is caring kan..

errrrr cuma nak tahu dlm byk2 lelaki kenapa lelaki orang jugak menjadik pujaan....

pakmat said...

..I have so much to comment..yet I have nothing to say..cheers, lady..for some things are just beyond us..

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

JH..general judgement is easier to pass...camtu lah...

Cik...comfort eating ka tuuu? Kacangg punnn....

Nenet...agaknya, sebelum terjatuh chenta tu, tatau kot jantan tu laki orang. Jantan biasa la...bukannya nak cakap sensiang dia dah berbini kannn?

Pak Mat...I sure love to hear what man has to say...

Manal said...

One lady already can gegar dunia,caused major war between nations and so on and now the sharing part. Its also in the genes that man loves the idea of having more than 1 female partner, but tu la bi/polygamy does happen. I setuju juga apa CIK said above on the dosa and sharing part. To me, women shudnt worry too much because the kids will end up hating the daddy more and daddy will end up very lonely sad old fart for whatever he did to his kids. And as to the perampas/married man adorers, KARMA never forgets.

ieda said...

i have a friend,also 2nd wife.she also the type yg u tak sangka will marry s/body's husband.now ada sorg anak.alhamdulillah bahagia..
for us as her friends...nobody said bad things to her.we accept her the way she is.just like our school time.

kita tak berada di tempat dia..so no need for us to judge.kalau nak nasihat boleh tapi buatlah sebelum pekahwinan tu berlaku.

Anonymous said...

Saya sangat suka situs Anda. Excellent konten. Silakan lanjutkan posting cotent mendalam tersebut.