Agony...Part 2

Maka Dr Mahathir pun dah keluar UMNO sebagai tanda protest to tiDOLLAH. What should I say...,entah lah.I don't know why tiDOLLAH bother, the job is very stressful and he is certainly not very good at it.If there is an opportunity to blah and still get hefty pension, pergi ajelah kan?

Then came the loyal supporter...or shall I say, the ardent boot licker.Nak tunjuk taat setia pun berpada-pada lah...si loyal supporters ni bukannya under educated macam I ni, semuanya pandai but is this just an act of desperation? Semua bangsa duduk atas pagar.Waste of space betul.

The situation in my other work place pun begitu jua.This Demoted Manager, walaupun tak pernah lagi kena tangkap tido dalam opis, she might as well be labelled as sleeping on the job, hypothetically speaking.Dah le pemalas, kebijaksanaan nya sungguh diragui (and this made me sound like super duper bongkak)

I tried to make connection with her emotionally but kesudahannya, I yang rasa macam nak pengsan and geram sungguh dengan kebodohan melampai batas nya tu.

I really don't feel good about this. I'm sure if my nature contributes to how I really feel or this is just a bad thing to do.I took over her job.The resentment from her is so clear.I told her that this is not personal, I shouldn't really said that but somehow, I feel I should because for some reason, I am consumed with guilt...padahal pada dasarnya, she lost her job because she is not up to standard.

Things get really difficult each day, I hounded her like a wild animal, pointed out her mistakes blatantly.I keep telling Boss that this made me feel bad.Boss cakap, if you ask them to do their job then, that is not wrong.Betul lah tu, Boss tapi I started to feel like a big bully, knowing that DM ni takdelah sepandai mana (mak datuk..terserlah kebongkakan ku) but keep on expecting that DM will do wonders.

CPB kata, let find more evidence to get rid of DM. This is business, when you can't deliver, there goes you.DM cannot deliver and I agreed with CPB that she should be sacked. Tapi, I pulak rasa bersalah...everytime I look at DM, rasa nak cakap aje...sudah sudahlah, janganlah nak melawan Boss lagi.Do yourself a favour and step down, your standing ground is wobbly.I heran betul, setelah si DM puas mengadu domba kat CPB katanya I ni tak pernah berpuashati dengan her work dan tak termasuk gossip liar yang ditaburnya untuk memburukkan nama I, I still feel so kesian and hoping that CPB tak sack dia, transfer her to another level and just let the able one work.But si DM ni, arrogance nya boleh tahan...

Betul lah orang cakap kan...your greatest enemy is your own conscience.I am struggling and I don't know if I can live with it.Semua orang cakap kat I, kalau si DM tu kena pecat, tu salah dia sendiri...tapi tah macam mana, aku pulak lah yang terasa aku nilah penyebab utamanya.Adoiii!!!!

I strongly believe in retribution.Takut jugak bila memikirkan kalau lah Makcik ni berdendam kesumat dengan I, maka suatu hari nanti, aku akan dapat balasannya.We never know...hari I ada kuasa, besok segala-gala boleh ghaib dari mata.Siapa tahu?

How I wish I don't accept the challenge in the first place.Emotionally I am so very weak.Dia ada anak kecik pulak tu...

CPB asked me to decide if I want to take the promotion.Mula-mula macam nak jugak...tapi bila pikir balik, duit banyak hati kelabu asap pun tak guna juga...

Macam mana nak masuk The Apprentice ni, Hjh Leemah oii?