About Me

Monday, May 26, 2008

Come Clean Solution

Cik Kiah, ibu beranak dua yang femes di Lembah Klang itu, remarked in my tag board about the previous post.Apakah moral dari kisah separa sedih I ittew?

Well,Cik Kiah yang dikasihi oii...semenjak bila pulak posting-posting dalam blog I ni bermoral? Boleh dikatakan semuanya mempunyai unsur-unsur hasutan, enough for the cybercop to detain me under tah hapa-hapa ISA act.Takde satu pun boleh dijadikan iktibar. But since you asked, I think the slightest idea of suggestion from the posting is that...kalau hati dah terluka,sakit.benci ataupun yang sewaktu dengannya, maka buatlah keputusan mengikut kata hati and bukan nasihat orang.Sebabnya, hati sakit, sendiri yang tahu.Although nasihat-nasihat berguna will not go amiss, yang kena menanggung consequences ialah diri kita sendiri sendirian berhad. So, is that good enough for you, Ma'am?

My patient at the new workplace asked for a private chat with me today. Pakcik ni suka lari dari rumah pi ngisap ganja katanya...and akan hanya kembali kepangkal jalan (ermm..meaning the house) bila dia terhoyong hayang tepi jalan and kena angkut dengan Police.So, kami-kami nilah yang kena pergi menjamin sebab kalau tak dijamin, maka ke hospital bahagia lah jawabnya...but lately ni, semenjak I selalu buat pep talk dengan dia, jarang pulak dia lari.I cakap kat dia, kalau you nak hisap ganja hisaplah..tapi jangan hisap dalam bilik you nanti bilik you terbakar pulak.I think, he is so used to people judging him and when comes to me, I selamba je kata...nak hisap ganja, hisap lah...and that psychology works...because dia dah start
1) Mandi
2) Makan and
3) Bersosialan dengan patient lain.

Si Pakcik ni tak kasi I take note, takut I gi report kat psychiatrist katanya...but I cakap dengan dia, I need to take note anyway so that I can remember things better.

Dia tanya I how to come clean about a guilty secret (mak datukk..part ni paling lah I tak gemar tau...pasalnya, most of the guilty secret yang aku dengar semuanya kejam-kejam belaka that I have to report...but be mindful jugak, kenkadang secret they all semuanya buatan sendiri as in karangan sendiri...so, buang karan aje kan?)

So, I decided to play it safe. I let him talk but selalunya, jantan kalau ada rahsia, dia akan simpan sampai mati...lainlah kita pompuan ni kan....kalau boleh iklan dalam Berita Harian cerita kain dalam, harus kaya NSTP. Si Pakcik kata he can't take it anymore as the secret is killing him but on the other hand, confession can mean more trouble ahead, so dia nak mintak pandanganlah ni. Selalunya I will ask...'apa rahsianya, bang...cerita la kat I'. But I think 'I raped my own mother' tu enough to put me off mendengar confession-confession gila babi orang-orang ni.

My suggestion to him was not to be selfish. Dia tanya..kenapa lak Makji cakap camtu? I pun explain la..no matter what is your transgression, the first thing to decide before you decide to confess is whether it will help anyone apart from you. Think about how it will affect people who is involved, sebabnya..clean conscience isn't always a best reason to confess. I know this guy from school, he forced himself to this girl yang dia syok gila. This girl pulak dalam benci-benci tapi rindu githoo...so, it happened. This girl was shattered but didn't reported it sebab malu or for whatever reason. Years later, this guy, agaknya dah join Al-Arqam and terus lah nampak cahaya kebenaran...pergi la confessed dia rog pompuan ni. Hah!!! Enough said...sampai bercerai pompuan ni dengan laki nya and it caused a lot of hurt feelings to plenty people. Kesimpulannya, pengakuan dibuat atas sebab nak clear kan conscience....so, kalau nak clear conscience, bukankan kau patut mintak mahap kat pompuan tu rather than mengompang kat orang ramai yang kau tu perogol bersiri? Ciss..sel pish sungguh!!!

This lead to another suggestion to confess quickly, and tak payah lah kau nak tunggu 40 tahun or sampai kau dah kena throat cancer or dah tertelan ikan pari baru nak ngaku...'ayaaa..unuhhh...ia....uhukuhukuhukuhuk...' pwekkk, terus muntah darah and kena cardiac arrest!!! It is best to come clean quickly as possible, however terrifying it may be.Very often it is not the deed itself that's upsetting, but the deceit that followed it. Confessing quickly also keeps the situation in your control.You might not want to hurt the other person, but imagine how much worse it would be if they found out later on through someone else. (Aduihh..terasanya diri ini...)

Another we might want to consider ialah tatasusila.Practise lah what you're going to say...gunalah ayat-ayat yang macam lengkong.Bear in mind that grand announcement might not be the best approach.Takde guna organise family dinner, panggil the whole family and announce that you fell in love with your adik ipar.Kau ingat ni Eastenders ke? If you're not sure how the other person will respon to your confession, introduce the subject gently and see how they feel.They may be far more or far less sensitive to situation, which will affect how you handle it. Don't ever do this at your sister's wedding ke, majlis adik bersunat ke...'Abah...6 bulan lepas, kak Long and boipren Kak Long buat project kat dalam reban ayam belakang rumah...Kak Long bertobat Abah.....'. You may feel that honesty is best policy and owning up is grand...tapi, tengok tempat lah ek?

I think we all should be prepared that semua pengakuan ada consequences nya.Saying sorry might ease your guilty conscience, but it may not be enough to truly make amends.If you confessed to your flat mate that you ate her Cabdury Whole Nut giant bar...bersedialah, maka that is probably the last time you'll be eating her chocolate and be prepared to be accuse of the same everytime ceklat dia ghaib dari dalam fridge. You far more better off cakap kat your flat mate yang tikus bawak lari...semua orang bahagia.

Sekian.

6 comments:

Cik Kiah Kidman said...

Ko ni psycho lah!! Nak pecah perut aku baca...and i mean this literally ok! Hehe.

Lee Novotny said...

Dermalah dara..jangan hisap dada...leyy??? :P

Anonymous said...

hahahaa i like this entry of yours lah esah..hehehe...teringat le pulak zaman aku kecik dulu masa bulan posa...dok menipu mak abah yg aku ni posa tapi setiap kali masuk bilik dok makan gula2! sampai la ni rahasia tu tetap rahasia tapi ku sudah bertobat lah dgn tuhan hehehee...semoga taubat ku diterima, ameen...

yatie

Manal said...

Kot2 bapak dia nanti jawab: "Kak long memang anak abah! "....


But all that come clean and confession thingy, agreed with u on being rational with it. Maybe one shud seek God for mercy (or do that catholic confession in the confession box). Tapi some people, the longer they keep a dark secret the more nak meletop perut depa....u know that malay idiom: Biar pecah di perut jangan pecah di mulut.

BTW, i was pausing kejap semalam after reading this entry. Makji, u really made me thinking......

OOD said...

Ingat nak buat 'pengakuan saya' kat sini, ada pulak tatasusila nya!! SIVIKnya, umangggg...

Ok lah ok lah, den salam kau cium tangan dulu.

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Kiah..perut pecah? Baik-baik..kang lagi lama pulak kau kena puasa...

Lee, bukang mung hari-hari isap dada ke?

Hah..bila lak ekau nak buat press conference tu, Yatie oii?

Manal..kau pun nak buat press conference jugakk ke? Ada similarity dgn kes berprojek dlm reban ayam?

Ood...apa laie...copek lah bagi tau rahsio eh?