Comment Ngok Dari Anon Yang Ngok

I dapat comment yang mintak jgn dipublish uols...dah la nama pun anon (cisss..you takdak tulang belakang eh?) pastu comment macam haram lak tu. Err, pada I lah..I honestly don't think this anon lapang kepala hotak nya.

Tanya nya si Anon ni..Makji, how lah to spot orang-orang mental ni and avoid them ah?

I only have one question back before I can give you the tip you wanted..why on earth you want to avoid orang mental? Why? Why?

I want to tell you a story about my encounter with one 'Hajah'. Well, she told me she didn't read my blog anymore but...I am sure, dalam dia kata dia tak baca tu..she will come to find this.

This Hajah, got in touch with me through a link she believe (well, rightly so) will take her directly to me. I ni, bila orang approach I pasal projek akhirat I tu, mulalah I akan excited tak tentu arah. I have to say this...to get people to see why this course of action needed help as much as orang tua or anak-anak yatim, asnaf, ibu tunggal and all that lot is...difficult. So bila ada orang approach I, makji..I want to help you with your project..tak ke hati I berbunga-bunga bak taman Kaukenhoff gittew? Serupalah janji manis jutawan (elehh..dia lah kata dia jutawan yang berpendapatan 30k seminggu --ko hado Kiah?) yang setiap kedai dia pi beli hanebeg akan ada live telecast and setiap tempat dia travel dia akan bagitau seantero pesbuk nya, yang dok lah kata kat I, I want to give the community something back. Podahhhh lahh...registration NGO lagikan tak lepas nak keluar duit! Ops..takpe. Sometimes, janji-janji jutawan tanpa promosi like Piah lagi boleh dipercayai, kannn Ayangg kannn?

When I started doing research about 2, 3 years ago..most people that I talked to what nothing to do with the mentally ill. To them...they would rather tengok penagih dadah and perampok berleluasa dari tengok orang sakit mental ni.Of course by the time you heard about their existence is when somebody fell 'victim' to them. Kena parang lah..kena penggal kepala lah...terjun tingkap lah etc.

I was in HKL a lot on my last visit. To get through the neuro ward, I had to go through the building where you can see green gowns, pillow case and stuff on the five foot way. When I look up to the building, I can see few men by the grilled window, from afar smiling, phewwittt phewwit and mumbling. I was with my sister. I prompted my reluctant sister to waive back at those men. I shouted back 'Hello Hensem' and walk past the building. 

My sister reaction was 'oii berani nya kau'. I asked her...nak takut apa? Can you not see all those men being locked in? What harm can it do by waving back? I doubt they are the type of patient in the hospital that have visitors. After that, I gave my sister a long lectures about how I think she is 'sempit' padahal my sister tu dalam reramai dialah yg paling pandai sekali (well, dalam adik beradik I lah...I know lah Kiah yang paling pandai)

This Hajah, at first started emailing me. Then she asked whether if there's another way to contact me. So, dgn tak segan silu or tanpa perlu rasa nak buat background check, I pun bagilah nombor mobile I. Then start lah dia msg I...so I told her, if you ada wassapdog lagi senang lah (and free lah kannn...cheapskate me) tapi katanya, dia tu takdelah tecchie savvy.

Tup, tup dia bagitau I yang demi I, she bought herself a Samsung S4 so that she could contact me. Okay lah. I don't know what was the meaning of that...tapi, okaylah..kalau orang dah beli phone canggih, of course lah you tumpang gumbira (dan jeles kann..sebab phone you idoklah secanggih itu)

Then..conversations starts. Once she got hold of me, what she tend to talk about was about herself and her 'mentally ill' ex husband. Sebagai orang yang dilatih untuk mendengar, I dengar aje lah kann. All that and diselang selikan dgn betapa dia suka baca blog I.

Tak cukup dgn wassapdog, dia call I kat baiber lagi. I have to tell you, kenkadang tu time dia call sungguhlah tak convenient. But you would have expect orang tahulah to tanya you dulu whether you free ke nak cakap dgn dia...well, I do this. I make the point to ask, are you okay to talk...kalau tak okay, you call them some other times.

But this Hajah..woohooo....kalau tak dapat wassapdog, dia akan call.

People always assume that I can 'tell' when someone is wrong. Hmm...kalau someone tu ada menayang kan tanda-tanda chemical atau symptom2 depan mata I, then I can say lah..maybe ada 'sikit' celaru. Then it is up to the psychiatrist to diagnose. You ingat senang ke nak diagnose orang? I wrote about this before. The professional need at least 6 months observations. Bukannya setakat pegang tangan..puhh kirikanan then yupp, sidia ni ada mania lah, schizo lah.Cantekkk muka kitak nahhh?

However, nature rules. Unless you memang penipu patologi, kalau kepala you memang bercelaru, during conversations you tend to give away  red flags signs. Ni tak payah tengok muka pun takpe. Err, tapi takdelah cakap sekali je terus ingat orang tu tak betul ye?

Bless the NHS for the good trainings, yes...makji uols ni adalah dilatih bertahun2 untuk mendengar dan membuat andaian yang bakal disupport oleh buku-buku ilmiah dan pengetahuan perubatan am.

Celaru akal semua adalah evidence based ye...dan sample size bolehlah didapati dari FB (ni lah yang paling senang sekali nak tengok kalau orang tu okay ke tidak emosi nya)

Sebagai manusia biasa yang mempunyai mood, this Hajah kadang2 menyakitkan hati I juga. As much as you want to dengar masalah nya yang juga diselang selikan dgn ayat penyedap hatinya sendiri..ohh I'm okay setakat ni, insya Allah. It didn't take long for me to get annoyed and of course, I don't hold back in giving opinions bila hati dah panas, kan Kiah kannn?

Bila I dah angin tu, sebagai pendenial yang tegar, sayalah yang bersalah kerana 'tak memahami' dirinya tu. Okay..you health professional out there, I am sure the sentence 'you misunderstood me' ,'Awak tak faham masalah saya' have been heard one too many, kan?

Same with this Hajah. Apparently I misunderstood her. She went on and on 'provoking' my thoughts but behaved sickeningly vulnerable and pastu, aku dituduhnya sensitip dan cepat marah Kiah ehh.

Do you really think I will take offense for this? Menyampah lagi adalah. So yes, in life..you bound to misunderstood, you get angry when you're provoked and of course, being sensitive, happens to the best of us.

So from this I know, that this is going to be another 'work' for me. Although not inadvertently, I don't buat kerja 'pro bono' kat orang yang....well, tricked me into believing yang dia tu adalah philanthropist.

Kepada Anon yang nak tau cemana nak 'avoid' orang mental, I thought you should know that orang yang you kata mental ni, if they really 'mental', they will not find you purposely to disturb you hence, there will be no need to 'avoid' them.

Orang yang you patut avoid is that orang yang rasa dia okay..tapi perbuatan dan kata-kata tak langsung menunjukkan yang dia tu okay sebabnya, orang macam nilah yang akan menyebabkan you menjadi sedikit luarbiasa dari your usual.

Naturally, kita akan benganglah jugak kalau orang kata kita ada attitude problems. But sebagai manusia biasa, kebarangkalian mempunyai masalah kelakuan itu adalah pasti so, buat apanya kita nak terasa hati?

So back to Hajah ni, I told her that I think she is a lovely lady...but 'jodoh' I nak berkawan dgn dia adalah tak ada. Of course she plays victim lah..katanya walaupun I kata dia macam2, she still tak ambik hati. In which I said, what said needed to be said, so you should go away and think about it and get help lah. I just don't want to be part of it.Kejam diriku.

Yes, I have 'attitude'. My friends are few. But this few are the ones that we can have everything out on the table and still balik rumah okay.

You heard about those type of people who 'changed' suddenly after dia berkawan dgn orang tu..and orang ni. If the change is positive, then alhamdulillah. This Hajah once remarked that why I 'changed'. Ye lah..masa memula okay, katanya. Of course lah masa memula okay kan..bila perangai yang tersorok terkeluar dgn sendirinya.

Say for example... you have friend yang sokmo bermasalah. You tolerate saja...sampai ketahap, masalah kawan you tu sebenarnya adalah masalah yang dia buat sendiri and worst, dah le pencetus problem, tak mengaku pulak tu!

Orang macam ni...kalau you avoid, nanti you risk being misunderstood pulak. Best is you cakap lah...I think you seriously have issue and I have grown fed up listening to it without any sign of you wanting to make it better. So, sebelum kita berperang besar dan I parang kepala you, please lah leave me alone until you sort out your problem ye? ---this is after you offered your ears, your empathy etc etc, tapi dia tetap gak macam tu.

Yes, there will be times when you really need to avoid people. But you just don't avoid people willy nilly. Unless you have good reason i.e. dia tu perampok ka, pencopet ka..peminjam duit yang tak reti nak bayar ke...maka tidak ada sebabnya untuk you rasa diri you tu bagus untuk menjauhi/dijauhi orang ye.

Sekian.