Bitch Talking...

I think all of us didn’t get called BITCH on regular basis. I certainly don’t. I may appear like one or sound like one, but I like to think that I don’t have any or that many attributes that can likened me to one.

But Jantan Tembam decided to call me that. That word came in text message format.For all I know that word can either be a silent BITCH, the bold or was just said for the sake of it.You know, ahh..bitch..ohhh bitch...bitchbitchbitchbitch. Like, takde makna githoo....

It was so unclever of him. I was too busy to notice and at the same time, he is not the type of friend I want for keeps.Really takde hasil.We bumped into each other where I can’t even recognise dek gedabak nya dia. We were not even close at school, he was mingling with the popular one and I was this very plain girl that even tikus makmal pun tak notice.

I was working at East Dorset a lot last week. In the office full of people who I think constantly watching me. Aku je lah manusia tak putih kat area tu. Let’s be positive about it, the orang putih is probably enjoying the view of my perma tanned skin. It must be quite a curious sight when someone brown tetiba boleh bagi arahan eh kau, pergi buat tu, eh kau, pergi buat ni kat si putih-putih ni.Country people are the nicer one.They’re very,very polite.Tapi, semuanya bangsa datang kerja bawak anjing. Dah le I ni takut kat anjing. Tapi dalam pada nak jaga hati si orang punya anjing tu, kugagahi jugaklah dengan senyuman-senyuman pahit perisa lemon kering. Anjing they all pulak yang bangsa nampak orang aje, terus dia pergi tergolek gelantang atas kaki you. With their owner depan mata, tak kan nak aku sepak pulak anjing tu kan? Makcik-Makcik t uterus cakap...stroke her love...say hello to her. So dalam hati yang berat-berat ni, I gosok-gosok jugak lah badan anjing tu. Harus kalau adalah paparazzi amik gambar tunjuk kat orang kampong I kat Paroi Jaya nun, macam anak Poziah Latip, mau mati sakit jantung omak abah den. Hallamakkk..anak aku...pogang anjing!!!!

Okehh...tujuan meng hapdate ari ni, tak lain tak bukan ialah untuk mengumpat si polan JT ni. Jantan kan, memang dianugerahkan dengan kulit extra tebal and bermuka tak malu? So, si Debab ni, persis hilang ingatan yang dia bebaru ni hantar message yang sungguh keji telah menalipon I. Ye you.....telephone I. JT called me and without hesitation, depan omputih-omputih ni I pun jawab lah call nya. I decided, okay.I am so going to cakap Melayu with him so that orang keliling tak leh paham and I think, I will do well in telling off people in bahasa, as well as in english.

I did not do my usual salutation. I let him talk.He went all friendly Owhhhh...hello dear, I really thought we are breaking up. You broke my heart for not calling me....(he is now probably wish that he didn’t said that)

I ni sibuk sekarang. I tak tau kenapa you sibuk-sibuk nak telepon I. You lain kali, tapis sikit bahasa you nak guna bila cakap dengan I. (He tried cutting in but...) Bagi I cakap, you nak sangat bercakap dengan I kan...sekarang you dengar.

Macam nil ah K, masa kat MRSM pun, kita bukannya kawan rapat sangat, I tak ingat pun kalau kita pernah bertegur. So, you ada ke, you tak de ke, tak jadi apa dalam hidup I. I senang lagi ada kalau you tak kawan I, bosan lag dengar cerita-cerita you. I lagi baik tengok Antique Roadshow.

I betul takde masa nak melayan you merengek-rengek ni, and sudah-sudah lah tu. Tak kan you tak perasan I takde nya nak bersungguh kawan dengan you. I jumpa you pun kalau I ada masa, kalau I boring. Kalau tu pun you tak paham, tak tau lah. Jangan nak demanding, you are not in a position to be demanding. Kalau you tu in demand tak pelah jugak. Takde pun I tengok pompuan kejar you?

So, sori lah yek. Okaylah...I nak kerja ni...I layan anjing buruk kat opis I pun lagi bagus. ( boley cakap macam tu?)

TUPPPPPP!!!!!!! Pose pose picit telepon. (nak hempas tak leh...insurance only cover accidental damage)

Super BITCH tak aku?