About Me

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Bitch Talking...

I think all of us didn’t get called BITCH on regular basis. I certainly don’t. I may appear like one or sound like one, but I like to think that I don’t have any or that many attributes that can likened me to one.

But Jantan Tembam decided to call me that. That word came in text message format.For all I know that word can either be a silent BITCH, the bold or was just said for the sake of it.You know, ahh..bitch..ohhh bitch...bitchbitchbitchbitch. Like, takde makna githoo....

It was so unclever of him. I was too busy to notice and at the same time, he is not the type of friend I want for keeps.Really takde hasil.We bumped into each other where I can’t even recognise dek gedabak nya dia. We were not even close at school, he was mingling with the popular one and I was this very plain girl that even tikus makmal pun tak notice.

I was working at East Dorset a lot last week. In the office full of people who I think constantly watching me. Aku je lah manusia tak putih kat area tu. Let’s be positive about it, the orang putih is probably enjoying the view of my perma tanned skin. It must be quite a curious sight when someone brown tetiba boleh bagi arahan eh kau, pergi buat tu, eh kau, pergi buat ni kat si putih-putih ni.Country people are the nicer one.They’re very,very polite.Tapi, semuanya bangsa datang kerja bawak anjing. Dah le I ni takut kat anjing. Tapi dalam pada nak jaga hati si orang punya anjing tu, kugagahi jugaklah dengan senyuman-senyuman pahit perisa lemon kering. Anjing they all pulak yang bangsa nampak orang aje, terus dia pergi tergolek gelantang atas kaki you. With their owner depan mata, tak kan nak aku sepak pulak anjing tu kan? Makcik-Makcik t uterus cakap...stroke her love...say hello to her. So dalam hati yang berat-berat ni, I gosok-gosok jugak lah badan anjing tu. Harus kalau adalah paparazzi amik gambar tunjuk kat orang kampong I kat Paroi Jaya nun, macam anak Poziah Latip, mau mati sakit jantung omak abah den. Hallamakkk..anak aku...pogang anjing!!!!

Okehh...tujuan meng hapdate ari ni, tak lain tak bukan ialah untuk mengumpat si polan JT ni. Jantan kan, memang dianugerahkan dengan kulit extra tebal and bermuka tak malu? So, si Debab ni, persis hilang ingatan yang dia bebaru ni hantar message yang sungguh keji telah menalipon I. Ye you.....telephone I. JT called me and without hesitation, depan omputih-omputih ni I pun jawab lah call nya. I decided, okay.I am so going to cakap Melayu with him so that orang keliling tak leh paham and I think, I will do well in telling off people in bahasa, as well as in english.

I did not do my usual salutation. I let him talk.He went all friendly Owhhhh...hello dear, I really thought we are breaking up. You broke my heart for not calling me....(he is now probably wish that he didn’t said that)

I ni sibuk sekarang. I tak tau kenapa you sibuk-sibuk nak telepon I. You lain kali, tapis sikit bahasa you nak guna bila cakap dengan I. (He tried cutting in but...) Bagi I cakap, you nak sangat bercakap dengan I kan...sekarang you dengar.

Macam nil ah K, masa kat MRSM pun, kita bukannya kawan rapat sangat, I tak ingat pun kalau kita pernah bertegur. So, you ada ke, you tak de ke, tak jadi apa dalam hidup I. I senang lagi ada kalau you tak kawan I, bosan lag dengar cerita-cerita you. I lagi baik tengok Antique Roadshow.

I betul takde masa nak melayan you merengek-rengek ni, and sudah-sudah lah tu. Tak kan you tak perasan I takde nya nak bersungguh kawan dengan you. I jumpa you pun kalau I ada masa, kalau I boring. Kalau tu pun you tak paham, tak tau lah. Jangan nak demanding, you are not in a position to be demanding. Kalau you tu in demand tak pelah jugak. Takde pun I tengok pompuan kejar you?

So, sori lah yek. Okaylah...I nak kerja ni...I layan anjing buruk kat opis I pun lagi bagus. ( boley cakap macam tu?)

TUPPPPPP!!!!!!! Pose pose picit telepon. (nak hempas tak leh...insurance only cover accidental damage)

Super BITCH tak aku?

16 comments:

l!zs @)--- said...

good 4 u makji..padan muka si jantan benggong tu..agaknya dia faham ke apa yang makji cakap.dia kan ala2 terlebih lemak di semua part..huhu..

famil said...

omigod, I love you..

serve him right. hi hi..

let's bet that he wont learn his lesson.

Im starting with £1.30. Sorry indak mampu £130/hour.

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Lizs, lemak sidaknya dah sampei ke palak hotak and mata nya...nang cilaka besar eh..

Famil....who knows he might be joining our Miss Farooq's agency and charge £130 p/h...there's always a demand for heavyweight bloke

tokasid said...

Salam Esah:

Tabik spring samo ekau!

Anonymous said...

matilah dia terkejut kejang! jgn bunuh diri sudah...huhuhu.. ~hatiriang~

mutalib said...

dalam panjang2 hjh sound kat si debab tu, still tadek ayat direct yg dia buleh paham rasanya... sure hjh sdikit sbyk berjaya mlpaskan geram, tapi tgk laaa, skit hari nanti dia akan contact balik, lepas dia analize apa semua, dia akan call.. tanak try suroh dia baca blog ni kaaa? baru dia paham perasaan sebenar?

tanak kasik fesbuk id? makin misteriouslah hjh punya posting... dan akan makin ramai peminat... msaya nak tubuhkan group fanclub hjh kat fesbuk buleh tak?

Anonymous said...

well done esah! patutnya ekau dah buek macam tu dari dulu laie...

harap2 si JT tu paham le ye maksud yg you nak sampaikan kat dia, knowing jantan2 macam ni kan dia org ni kekadang lomah otak sikit pasal baca/mendengar in between the lines ni..

yatie

Dina said...

that's it makji. Camtu je cara nk ngajor jantan kurang ajar mcm si JT tu.

Sesuka ati mak bapak dia je nk pnggil org BITCH, and the next day pretend like nothing happen. Byk cantik dia punya muka....

Anonymous said...

alaa... janganlah putus terus ngan dia, nanti tak ada cite pasal dia lagi!! hehe!! haiyoo...ni dah macam soap opera la plk,tertunggu2 sambungan seterusnya!! hehe!!

OOD said...

Super Bitch ada kuasa fire laser yang boleh mematikeras kan orang!

Good for you!

once i tried telling a guy that i wasnt interested in him - AT ALL, BIG TIME. He looked at me with such pity and said that i should not try to hide my TRUE feelings for him, he could tell how much i yearrrrrrn for him. Atchoooo.... Dono who to kill first, myself or him! I am Super LAME!

:: cheezzy cheese :: said...

esah.. ko mmg sifu aku la camni!! bitch tak bitch ko tetap roxx..

DBI said...

esah.org macam ni dok reti bahasa...selalulah baca doa pelindung...nanti kena mandrem plak... :-0

Manal said...

Dia ni macam predictable kan, makji? One time he's gone ballistic, the next time he went so docile and domesticated?

Dia nih so la inherently one Permanent Head Damage (PHD) fella yang on the brink of pushing another innocent person (i.e. makji) into jumping in the same kancah durjana with him. This is madness. Adakah dia ni bipolar, makji? kalau dia tak happy and sexually deprived, orang lain pon kena mmmrasaaa?

Makji jawab his phone call macam dah make his day. Kalau pon makji nak melayan dia lagi,better la cakap dgn dia mcm psycho patient. After all, its part of your job...

dian said...

super duper bitch

tahniah

captlukman said...

hahahahahahaha i pun sker main pose-pose tetiba off esp dgn org2 yg sibuk dok CNN citer pasal org lain.....hayooo , tapi makji dek non tetap nak gelap dgn apa yg makjim, buta, tataw lah kelakor plok rase...........hehehehehe

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Salam Tok...timo kasih...

Hati Riang...kalau purpose hidupnya adalah utk menyakitkan ati I, rasa-rasa nya, baiklah dia terjun jematan kan?

Mutalib...the purpose of this blog is to mengumpat orang, so kalau I bagi dia baca, tak de guna lah mengumpat kan? Give it a rest lah ye...facebook ni, tak kuasa I nanti nak melayan peminat...i takde masa you..berak pun tak sempat..hehehe.

Yatie, kalaulah maso memulo den dah buek camni, raso eh, mau mati munuh diri si gomok tu...

Anonymous, I will always find ppl for me to umpat, so worry not...

Eh Ood, kau dok ontok-ontok lah jago boss baru, kang ado yang tekuyak kang, dek golak bosa bona...

Yanz, bukan kau ke yang cikgu besar nya? (larikkkkkk)

DBI, mandrem ye...takpe, nanti i baca ayat halau anjing.

Manal...Thames Water bill tertunggak, macam tu la kaedahnya...

Dian & Capt Lukmang...
Terimakaseyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...