About Me

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Sewel World

This is my 335 post (wuihhh..BIG DEAL!!!) and also my second post for today, live from work. Kesimpulannya cuma satu, yakni, Makji Esah telah melakukan satu perbuatan yang terkutuk, berblog dari office. In my profession, ni adalah dikira salah satu dari dosa-dosa besar, pasalnya, I work with the NHS where so many lives depended on it, akan tetapi, where others macam nak mampus saving lives, here I am still in my puny dirty office, typing this post. Like usual, my life stories takde satu pun boleh dijadikan iktibar. It is either I will tell you that

i) It is okay to tak bertegur sapa dengan sedara mara, mak bapak and kengkawan yang telah meng cross kan hati kita or

ii) It is cool to be gay, bisexual, omnisexual and whatever sexual orientation yang membabitkan diri kita dengan apa-apa saja, asalkan tidak ular and anjing (sebab Makji Esah takut ular and anjing) or

iii) Orang-orang kat Malaysia tu, dah dibagi public transport yang canggih tapi masih lagi tak berdisiplin dengan berpura-pura tidur dan mengabai kan mereka yang mengandung dan yang berpura-pura mengandung padahal terang-terang perut pompuan tu memboyot and conveniently disregard the sign to allow the seat to the memerlukan, sepuak lagi yang masuk train macam anak-anak kambing Mary and tak nak kasi chance pun orang yang kat dalam yang nak keluar and yang paling keji, dalam bus RapidKL meraba pompuan suci macam I ni dalam bus, akal mana ha?

I just realised I have not properly congratulated my SCANDAL, yang telah confirmed mengandung. Dalam pada dia busy berkerja dan mengomplen, sempat jugak dia membiarkan dirinya ditebuk tupai.Well, Kiah, tahniah semoga tercapailah cita-cita mu mendidik anak-anak tupai harapan bangsa. And kepada sesiapa diluar sana, ketahuilah oleh you all yang mengandung ni bukannya perkara mudah, walaupun masa nak membuatnya amat mudah, in out gussshhhhhhhhh!!!! Kiah is now having a hard time dealing with her emotions. Please, kalau dia nak makan roti canai, tolonglah belikan sebelum dia mengirai you all jadi roti canai.

I just finished my last session with a sexually confused middle aged man today. I have been seeing him for the last 6 months, we actually finished our work 2 months ago but because dia ni kiranya pesakit chronic jugak, I will have to keep my door open for him in time of crisis. He was referred to me again last Monday and because I am also in crisis and the only way not to think about my personal shortcomings is to keep myself busy, I agreed to see him.

Like always, he needs reassurance, which is easy to give, with a right words. Sometimes, I am so tempted to make suggestions. Hmmm...this guy is married with 2 kids but have been having homosexual thoughts eversince he can remember. For the last 2 years, he have been seeing a man half his age. He loves this man however, he feels that he is turning into a woman, emotionally for allowing his homosexuality takes charge of him.He feels the need to be with his wife so that he can renounce his masculinity.

Sewel ke, tak sewel? He is so graphic with his thoughts, macam dengar audio porn pulak. Today he confessed to me that he chose to see me (a female worker) because he feels the need to boast his ego as a man. Apa kejadahnya?

Like always, I am blessed with naughty and evil thoughts for my patients, and I certainly have plenty for him. Looking at him, there is no indication that suggest that he prefers a stick.But nowadays, looks are very deceiving. You can still do Aznil Nawawi and announce that you are straight like an arrow just because you got 2 kids.But, how am I to know what he really prefer kan?

Man say that we woman are selfish. We tend to want more than what they can give.In Malaysia, the jantan gatal will use this as an excuse to embark on an affair. Listening to this man, enough to tell me that it is really man that wants more than what we woman can give. Most cases are when men actually don't really know what they want. But still making unnecessary demands. Where have I heard that? JT kan? Si Tembam yang over demanding tu? Mana dia hah? Wouldn't you all like to know?

See you soon.


Rockafella Gurl said...

"Dalam pada dia busy berkerja dan mengomplen, sempat jugak dia membiarkan dirinya ditebuk tupai.Well, Kiah, tahniah semoga tercapailah cita-cita mu mendidik anak-anak tupai harapan bangsa."

... aku dok bantai gelak sengsorang kat opis pepagi buta bila baca ayat ko ni Esah! muahahhahaa!

Cik Kiah Kidman said...

A ah you...tupai i tu pandai bermadah helah!

Manal said...


kalau i la kan, i would have to excuse meself kejap ala2 toilet break from those psycho patients to laugh as much as i can. But how can u remain straightfaced listening to all those sewel problems haa?? u r damn pro, woman, coz its so totally not that easy to remain unperturbed and unfazed listening to people moaning and whingeing on things u urself rasa nak fensan dengar!

Your psychotherapy expertise probably drove that lonesome minger JT to sign himself as your unofficial devoted patient!

Lee Novotny said...

Uols, lemme tell you something - men wants sex (not just think of it) all the time... hahahah mrasalah hoh???

Soh je si JT jadik patient uols, haruslaa dia ceritakan semua yg grafik grafik..perhaps things that he wants to do to you?? **lariiiiiiii

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Naib baik kau gelak Yanz....kalau ngangis camno?

He aint heavy, he is yr tupai, Kiah.

Manal, kang kalau kejap2 toilet break, org ingat aku syiok sendiri pulak laa..

Hjh Leemah, speaking as a woman ke, as a man? Larikkkkk...