Siaran Dari Jalan Sabung Ayam

Sorry, for I have dissapoint you...with my lack of effort and enthusiasm to write things you like to read.

Had I not care, I would have dismissed this with such statement, I GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO...(memang iya pun....) in 2 weeks, 2 short weeks, I have far more better things to do, like jumpa kengkawan, making them aware that I am here and making plans to meet up.

My sister remarked that I have complained lot less than before. I told MC that, I have never enjoyed my trip back home.Now I feel that time is against me. I dare not call up my Boss to extend my leave, for she will salai me the moment I touched down in Heathrow.

Often I say, I want to come home for good....of course la statement ini telah memeranjatkan kengkawan ketat. But I am such a flake. I say lots of things. I maybe the only Malay in party MIC (key..mouse) Today I say, I want to quit work and write books. The next day I say I want to be a community activist...seeing so many ill mental health people being ill-treated (why do Police opted to shot dead people just because they ran amok?) The day after tomorrow I will say that I want to run a day centre for complex individual with unexplained disabilities. I'll say anything that suits my swinging mood.

I am lonely wherever I goes. KL, Melbourne and London. I don't make friends easily. I don't fall in love more than 3 times. I love the same person as much as jangkahayat kucing. I gave in to something I shouldn't in a relationship.

The truth is, I dream a lot. My hyper sensitivity kicks in nearer the time I am leaving. I have always known how insecure I am with myself. I have started to question my ability to practise positivity, as I am so easily led into feeling negative.

Yesterday, the Pak Guard in Giant upset me. There I was unassumingly walking through their barrier with my knapsack (I am so not into handbag in Malaysia..mana taknya, sepanjang masa ku disajikan dengan cerita-cerita ganas rampok merampok, mana ada branik nak totting handbag kulu-kilir?) and the Pak Guard look lot younger than me, dengan suara hujan panas nya pi tanya I...beg you ada computer ke? Kalau ada komputer, boleh bawak masuk..kalo tak..pi hantar kat sana...him pointing towards some direction yang ada underlying message berbunyi..blah lah hang!!!!

I asked him back....what can I steal with such a bag on my back? Dengan ghope as Desert Rose described as 'pecah rumah' he announced...nanti you jadi 'suspect'...curi asam..curi barang mandi. Sial nya....I rasa nak cakap aje...hello, I tak pakai brand cap Giant okies???? I paling cikai pun will pakai BOOTS punya product yang against animal testing tu. Kau tahu ke apa tu, Adik Guard oiiiiii?

Days earlier....the Giant McDonalds girl decided to feed me with her own recipe of humble pie. Unsuspectingly, dengan innesengnya...I tanya, while ordering for Milo Ice..adik, kat mana nak bayar bil Celcom? Jauh sekali la aku nak test tahap intelligence nya dengan menanya soklan gitu...but I really don't know where the hell should I pay MC's celcom bill. McD girl dengan kasar lagi sarcastic nya terus jawab...Kat CELCOM lahh!!!!!

I was taken aback. Nak nangis tanda kemaluan besar pun ada.

I told Desert Rose, which confidently said, if I were you, I would have replied...oh ye ke Dik..ingat kan boleh bayar bill celcom kat McD, sebab McD cawangan Wangsa Maju boleh bayar bill handphone. Tu diah.........if only I can come out with such onslaught of sarcasm. And that was why, I didn't get my LLB.

So, what is my plan now?

With David Cameron dah ada feeling nak jadik PM, that spells not-so-better Britain. Kepada kawan-kawan yang dah lama bersekedudukan, this is the time to register your civil partnership,as such facility was awarded by the Labour Government.

Over the last 10 years or so, my zest towards enriching life increased greatly. I no longer have passion for keparat-conglomerate-kejadahbapakyou kind of things. I am into small things like running 10 miles for Cancer Research, Disability Awareness and kempen jangan bayar toll. I still want to marry Anuar Zain since Zara Salim Davidson beat me up to me the Queen of Deghoyan.

Kiah want me to get a master in whatever-kejadah studies, as Malaysian are still taksub with papers.If only Kiah knows how difficult it is for me to get that blarrrrrdy 2nd class honours B.Sc. (read..teman ni idok le pandai macam kome...)

I want to spend more time with MC. But I must realised that I am far to old to berkepit-kepit, mandi tak basah and makan tak lalu. I must tell myself all the time that I must love myself more. Falling in love is beautiful. The practise is awful.

There is the type of people who can look above feelings and live their live the way the wants it. There is the type of people who let their feelings rule them. I am the latter. And I hate it.

I am still indecisive. But as long as you want to read...I'll write. But please...if you're in the shopping mall, please be polite when you need to walk in someone's way and please apologise if you hit their back with your shopping trolley.Please talk to people nicely...please don't ignore people who is loitering in your 2.5 million a unit bungalow show room....and please don't give me the look like I want to rampok your husband, for god knows, I never will have interest in men who let their eyes strays while bini is still in sight, who don't comb their hair and unscented. Bau beruang hutan does not count.

Salam.