About Me

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Small Print Information...or should be

One of my colleague (must mention, kat perkampungan Dorset ni...) complained that her boyfriend of few months dumped her because she had too many exes.She is 28 year old and in total (legal age to bermaksiat kat sini is 16) makcik ni ada dekat 11 exes.Given that everythng else was going well in their relationship, she couldn't understand what his problem was.

Makcik ni had many questions, plus a few theories of her own.She wondered if maybe he wanted an 'easy life' and wondered (feared more like) if she may be high maintenance, problematic etc etc yang negative because she'd gone through so many relationships.Obviously when she was telling me this, she protested that she wasn't 'hard work' and there were lot's of reasons why her previous relationships had failed (I ni takdelah pulak nak bertanya, kan?)

Makcik also wondered if he may have been a tradionalist and felt that she had slept with too may men, or he could even have felt threatened as a lover.

I suddenly terkenang kat kawan I, yang masa mudanya...boleh tahan jugak kebohsia'an nya.Ish..jahat mulut I.She is really a nice girl.It is just quite unfortunate that her relationships fell apart and (oopss) she slept with all of them...not at the same time lah, of course.When she was dating this guy, she must have been honest with him because this guy knew about her past i.e. whom/how many men she had sex with.There I was thinking, why must you ask? He told me that he thinks my friend is dirty...pasal dia tidur dengan semua exes nya.Weh, yang bercakapnya pun boleh tahan gak bohjan nya, not as if he is a virgin himself...but you know, men prefers kosher, walaupun diri sendiri dah berapa kali kena cross contaminations.Puaka betul.

Si Makcik Dorset ni became quite annoyed lah and wondered just how many exes would have been too many? It is interesting how a statement about having too many exes can throw up so many issues. We talked about whether her boyfriend may have thought that she simply showed poor judgement in her previous liaisons, and this could have impacted on their relationship.

Obviously, I am not the right person for her to ask for opinion...I only got one yang serious nya, pahtu dah mati pung still takleh get over.I feel like I have wasted 20 years over nothing, I could have tried berkawan dengan 2,3 orang...and experienced men perhaps more than just one...yang secara physical nya (wah sudahhhh) tak lebih dari swapping innocent DNA aje...,but hey, what we think or can think is totally different than what she can do or have done.

As we talked, we become more philosophical. Though we didn't settle on one reason why her previous exes had troubled her recent ex,she had unburdened some of her anxieties.I suggested that as he hadn't wanted to go into his reasons for breaking up, bar her exes.This reflected on his inability to express himself and could be a lesson that some people don't feel that they have to explain after only few months.

I told her that my current partner ada 41 exes.Given the age gap.Being bangang or immature that I am (still) suka jugak menanya...as much as I like to think that it doesn't bother me that much, the info is useful especially masa bergaduh for me to throw it back at the face.Looking at old photos with all of them looking so gorgeous make me question, what do you really see in me?

I do believe that although yang dah berkahwin beranak pinak pun, when exes are mentioned and especially bila kita tahu betapa agungnya kisah chenta Ali Setan they all tu, nak nak bila the exes lagi lawa dari kita, maka tergugat jugaklah self-esteem.From time to time, while we like to think that we are triumphant sebab, 'aku kahwin dah, beranak dah dengan dia...you are the past'...I'm afraid, kata-kata self-motivation cenggitu takkan cukupnya.

I think in the end we agreed that the biggest lesson was that less is more when it comes to discussing exes.Be very selective about your history.It maybe and usually is a good thing.After all, in the early phases,it should be all about the here and now for you and your new love.

It is not good to focus on the past. (Budak TKC ramai ex boyfriends kan? Confirmed bohsia)

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Makji, I'm an x-TKCian silent reader, indahnya hidup I kalau ada byk x-bf (kah kah!), apsal I ade sorang je ex?

-Alanis

captainlukman said...

terKHINCITTTT budak TKC!!**ops**

for me, i never wanted to know how many exes he had, unless he want to tell me**camlah aku ada bf skrg!!**. Dok tanya2 pun aku dulu ada sekor je bf, tu pun dah rasa makin hilang dari hati ni, kalau dak aduhhhhhhhhh asyik dok teringat2 keindahan waktu hujan**matilahakukan?**.

anyow agreed makji, coz bila time gaduh tuh lah paling best nak bagi sejibik kan!

So lets be choosy coz kat luar sana yg yo-yo makin ramai...hhehee

Kama At-Tarawis said...

makji, dalam sentiasa bergelak ketawa with your postings yang always hilarious and entertaining, I think this particular one is uncharacteristically sober.. and may I say tepat sekali. bab kebanyakan jantan mcm puaka tu memang betul.. hehehe...

salam dri kama

Encik Azrin Yang Garang said...

budak mckk pun ramai ex boipren. tak tahu nak panggil boh apa.. buboh kut.. seb bek i skolah pondok.. ~matiklah komen tak der kaitan

Anonymous said...

Cilakak kau! Akukah yg makan cili itu??

-ex tkcian yg ada settee empuk dlm office-

nbns said...

Makji,

Pakji ada patploh satu ex?? Mak haiiiiii...setahun satu ke tuh?

Tapi bab ex-ex ni mmg suwey kan? Nak menyebut nama pun tak hingin. Apakan lagi nak menengok muka/gambo. Last2 wa bagi last warning : kalo ada lagi gambo dlm PC, wa humban PC tu dlm longkang.

Wa tak lah simpan gambo, tapi tudung yg siamang bagi wa pakai lagi...kui kui kui....keji ek?

Tp wa sesangat agree ngan less is more tu. Sbb wa ni dok ringan mulut sgt dulu bercerita. Skang apa2 gado, nama siamang tu gak yg naik. Ntah pape ntah.

-nbns-

nbns said...

Makji,

Wa punya komen yg kena semunyik dek bunian tu lebey kurang begini lah bunyiknye :

Wa kata at least Makji ada closure lps dpt surat tu and u know that u were never far from his mind even to his dying day (kot?).

Wa ni masih dok "brok brek" pasal siamang sumbing tu sbb wa tadak closure. Ada ke patut dia ajak wa jumpa for tea sebelum wa took the plunge. Sib baik wa tak gi, kot nya wa pulak yg join makji kat lendun nun.

Huhu...

-nbns-

Anonymous said...

kita x-tkc gak.. SATU ex saja tawwwww...

JDK92 said...

ahahhah..ex2 ni mmg sampai hari ni leh menggugat jiwa rumahtangga me, mana taknya..gmbr..sms dr tahun 2004 ni masa dok time pujuk2 ex dia..dok ada simpan lagik dalam hp..cuba kalau me delete ha confirm berperang..blm kira ex dia nya friend request kat fb..dia tak accept and dia tak ignore..apa me nak kata..diam kan aje..sbb malas nak gaduh..boleh?nak rasa tergugat..erm..serba serbi me lebih..cuma ex dia kaya kot sbb adik dia penyanyi malaysia dan dia managernya..tu jelah kot lebihnya dia..eh2..tergugatkah dgn wang???