About Me

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Message From The Grave

Tu diah tajuk posting...ala-ala cerita Twillight Zone lah pulak!!! Tapi tak ada nya lah intipati yang akan menakutkan you all, I ni..tengok cerita hantu pun takut apa lagi nak buat cerita-cerita jangan cucuk belakang gittew.

I baru-baru ni adalah dapat email dari sahabat lama.Zaman-zaman UMIST, zaman-zaman Sheffield. Berita dari sahabat lama for me is not always a good thing.Ye lah, sahabat lama bukan ke membawa cerita lama jugak, kan Kiah? Nak-nak pulak set-set sahabat yang juga bersahabatan dengan kekasih lama.Ni kira sahabat kekasih lama I lah ni...yang I dah puluhan tahun tak jumpa.You all tahu lah kan...set-set kawan-kawan yang dimport dari sebelah boifren you i.e. your boyfriend punya gang yang secara automaticnya jadi kawan you jugak.

Satu bahaya nya kengkawan jenis import ni ialah bila kita bergaduh dengan pakwe/makwe kita, diorang pun akan bergaduh dengan kita juga, although not always literally tapi...this is the situation where people will judge where your loyalty stands. Like always, jantan punya loyalty is unquestionable lah...sedangkan girlfriend pun diorang boleh share, so walaupun boyfriend you berperangai puaka and they know it, jangan haraplah dia akan bersimpati dengan you.Kalau ada pun yang simpati...bila last-last nanti adalah adegan terambil kesempatan, ye lah mentang-mentang perempuan tu vulnerable.Hish jantan..kawan or tak kawan memang susah nak dipercaya...

This guy is a friend of my ex.Kawan baik ke tak baik I pun tak tahu lah...but one thing for sure masa depa all ni student dahulu kala, boleh main share-share baju lagi.I'm sure they do more than lending their baju to one another.The likeability of si jantan dua orang ni mempropah pompuan-pompuan tak berdosa cam I ni untuk kebaikan mereka sendiri memang lah takleh dinafikan. Seingat I, si jantan ni lah dulu yang selalu jawab telepon kata si aruah my ex ni sibuk lah, dalam lab lah...mandi lah, all that alasans yang satu ketika dahulu kedengaran sungguh genuine.

Meh sini Makji nak bagitau you all adik-adik yang berboifren jantan-jantan yang selalu sibuk ni.Kalau you all telefon and your boyfriend's housemate dok kata dia mandi, percayalah maybe the 1st and 2nd time that your boifren tengah genuinely mandi. Jantan ni selalunya malas mandi.Gosok gigi sebelum tido pun malas. Kalau 10 kali telepon 10 kali mandi...ada kemungkinan, dia mandi dengan pompuan lain ataupun sibuk mengelakkan diri dari you all.

This guy is the same guy yang bagitau I si Ex ni dah mati...and that si Ex ni ada tinggalkan surat untuk I. Tapi masa baru-baru (mati) tu, I takdelah nak layan sangat.Ye lah, orang dah mati buat apalah nak dikenang.(Buat menyeksa batin aku aje) Lagipun I sangsi jugak...dalam pada dia sakit tu, ada ke kudrat nak menulis surat bagai? Kalau ada pun, bukankah baik kalau tenaga yang tinggal tu digunakan kejalan yang betul...tulis surat kat anak dia ke..baca yassin ke kan?

I keep ignoring his email.I have severed all ties to my past (that past lah) so sesiapa yang terlibat dalam jerat perchentaan 10 tahun I dengan si Aruah tu, memang tak akan dapat lah trace I lagi.All my close friends pun have sworn to secrecy..except Si Aizee (matilah..name and shame) tapi you pun ada good reason kan, Zee? Ye lah, kalau Aizee tak bagi email address I kat jantan ni, sampai sudah pun I tak kan tau aruah tu dah mati.

So, Pakcik ni since boxing day dah hantar email kat I, which I only managed to picked up last week. Katanya dia ada kirim barang untuk I and suruh I pi contact sipolan ni. I tak jawap email dia and thought, biarlah.Karang tah hapa-hapa pulak lah barang...buatnya dia seludup dadah, tak ke naya I masuk jail macam pompuan-pompuan Malaysia kat overseas jail tu? Tak kuasalah I...

But once the thought of barang is in my head (materialistik yang amek), maka hati tu ada jugaklah tertanya-tanya.I try to think positively as I can...macam, ye lah..agaknya mamat ni rasa berdosa dengan I, bukanke satu masa dahulu dia ni konco-konco my ex, yang tahu segala activity luar and dalam darjah si my ex ni.Or, he is just being nice...ye lah...I ni kan bekas makwe kawannya, and sikawan nya tu dah mati, so maybe rasa kesian lah kot.

2,3 hari jugaklah I fikir whether or not to jawab email dia.Tapi last-last, dia hantar I another email cakap, kawannya si stewardess MAS tu dah balik KL pun tapi bungkusan tu ada ditinggalkan kat hotel.

So last Saturday, I was at that hotel (gigih ni..nak collect barang punya pasal) in HSK yang largely populated by steward/stewardess tu.Ada lah satu envelope cinonet for me (panas hati I..ingatkan adalah pack XXL ke or intan berlian gittew)

Guess what.....dalam envelope itu ada

a) A letter handwritten by Sham (kompem asli oooohh)
b) A note from kawan dia (si despatch tak bertauliah tu)
c) A CD, with all our songs.

It was meant for my 35th birthday....last year.

Mak..........rasa nak nangis!!!!

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

ayoyo makji...i pun ikut sedih jugak ni...i feel for you..dah dengar ke belum lagu2 dlm CD tu? maybe this is closure for you? whatever it is you take care ok.

yatie

Anonymous said...

Makji....daku nak meleleh air mata...apa isi kandung surat tu?????? Bagi lah hint sket....tak pun tepek lah terus kat sini....aaahhh nak tau sgt....

-nbns yg terkaypoh sket pagi ni-

BA said...

makji.
nak berterus terang nih.
i selalu tak paham apa u tulih. [adekah saya sgt slow ke apa?]
cam kena baca 2 kali baru bleh paham. [confirm aku mmg slow]. tp nak bgtau yg i tak sempat nak baca archive u kat ofis so i dok print semua sekali [ya rabbi tebal nak mampus luahan isi hati makji selama beberapa tahun ni] n bawak balik rumah kemudian mengilai + gelak sorang2. lawak okeh.

hah apalagi, scan la surat tu tepek kat sini. nak tau jugak.

geng busybody.
BA.

Anonymous said...

yolah makji nak jugak tau isi wasiat tu..kot2 di suruh ee ekau poie kutip limo juta kek amanah rayo ko.. uwah uwah

Zalina said...

mak aji, ai baca dgn penuh interest sebab suspens giler nak tahu seterusnya (busy body gak la kan..) tapi ending nye tersentap tangkai jantung ku... adoi la .. dats so sad.. sabar ek.. sedekah AlFatihah banyak2

and ai kena telan panadol la.. terus megren nie

Personage said...

makji, daripada saper tue? dari si mati ker? eii takotnyer.

-aku yg turut kepoci sama-

hak hak hak

Manal said...

Then, it should have been the message from the dying man (haross tak ala2 tajuk kisah centa hollywood ala2 mesg in the bottle?)

Anyways, apekah kisah org dari kubur itewwww....ade tak dia mulakan dengan,
" Kehadapan adindaku Esah, semoga sihat sejahtera hendaknya..."

Woteva it is, janganla makji basahkan that paper with ur teardrops bercucoranzz ok?

ina said...

Dear Cik Esah,

I've been reading your blog from Malaysia...discovered it when I was bloghopping...hehehe, I'm still reading your 2006 entries... When I 'khatam', I'll let you know. But, I'm just wondering, is this the same 'Sam' of yesteryears? Betul mati ke hapa? Muda lagi tak, mati tercekik sudu ke? Jangan nangis banyak2, sedekah la al-fatihah...au revoir!

Goddess Selene said...

makji i pon nak nagis klw dpt CD lagu mcm tu... i do feel for you makji!... Anyway, wishing you Happy Birthday!!! Semoga panjang umur & murah rezeki selalu!!! Muahhh xxx

Anonymous said...

Makji, happy birthday and wishing u all d best.

tak jemu baca blog makji nie. rajin2 la hapdate.

p/s: tepekla makji surat ittew..misteri sungguh la makji

captainlukman said...

Sedih sih kak ajie cam P.S.I Love you plak kan.

Tak sangka sebegitu sekali dia bagi adiha, memang dalam cinta dia tue. Anyway mak tak nak emo even terasa lah jugakkan...

Happy Birthday Beautiful Funny Hearted Esah.

p/s; Nti ada londong, kita kuar mentekedar lagi ek...

Anonymous said...

ello sis..
I'm a new reader to your blog.
But, dah addicted dah,cam isap ganja pulak!
hari-hari i log in to your blog dalam usaha nak menghabiskan your previous2 nyer thread..
Mau juling bijik mata neh nak menghatam..
But,what to do...easily fall in love with your writing...

regards,
tinker_bell =)

Anonymous said...

haruslah surat itu mcm buku & muvee 'p.s. i love you' ittew.maybe it'll hlp you to move on.keep on posting new entry...xo

Anonymous said...

kak esah jolie,

...sapa kater orang jantang dok romantik...

hidup org jantang....

dbi

ps-happy birthday uoll

Aina@Azila said...

Mak ji, meleleh air mata i baca.. touching sungguh. Kalau I kat tempat u, mau aku meraung. Yer laa, saat terakhir hayat dia, dia masih ingat kat you, masih ingat birthday you .... rajin2 sedekah al fatihah utk dia makji sebagai balasan CD dia kat u. bukannya nak try jadi religeous kat sini, tapi, itu jer laa hadiah yg paling bermakna utk dia huhuhu sop sop sop. **jgn pulak makji gi beli CD dan bakar CD dengan harapan asap CD yg makji bakar tu sampai kat dia.

p/s: happy belated befday

Lyana Mauseth said...

masa i tgk tajuk tu i ingatkan ape..yealah sbb post u b4 pasal mangkatnya Yamtuan N9..ingatkan message dr dia..kecut perut den...

anyway, i tetap gelak bc post u walaupun ceritanya sedih...i tumpang sedih mak aji,walaupun u tak ajak, i ttp sedih....takpe mak aji, tabah hati...hepi besday to u...

Anonymous said...

Mak Aji,

Not too late to sedekah alfatihah to your friend - so ALfatihah.

Ok, terlanjur dah bukak cito, apo kato e dalam surat tu?

Desert Rose said...

Epi Besday la Esah apa apapun...

Tapi dalam byk2 org u plak la yg ada cite romantika lawak cinta samapi ke liang lahad ni kan..

Musti nyesal la kekdahnya si siamang tu meninggalkan kan u dulu tuh sehingga membawa ke ajalnya

Baru dia tu sapa Esah ye ....hamik kau. Walaupun ko sedey i tau u musti kembang kuncup kan knowing d fact that he couldnt get u out frm his system hengga ke ahkir hayat noks..cayalah

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! Makji,u memang femes!! Epi belated besday...

~h/riang~

Anonymous said...

Dear Mak Aji,
Happy Birthday !!!!
I am one of your legion of fan.
Your honesty in your blogging is such a rare find..make me hook on it for the past one year.


This article is so touching and special much like how i felt on the last page of The Kg Boy when you see him in sillihoute saying goodbye from the back of the bus.

There is an air of sadness,funny, hope and angstic feeling towards it all....basically susah nak describe.

You have that special touch that can bring out the sort of emotion that no many people can elicit or make it surface out by verbalising it in your writing.


Keep it up , thanks for sharing your journey in life with us.It has been used as part of my therapy in this lonely place.

Thank You Again ( ...and i've not said it enough)

Mr Kalahari( i am hot)
Dr Pusat Rawatan Jiwa
Tampin
N9

mutalib said...

cuba tarok lagu² dalam list of your song plays... dan untuk kami yg masih menggunakan dialap, list kan je lah dalam entry akan datang.. pastu kalo rajin tulis skali lah cerita skit disebalik lagu2 tersebut.. daaaa...

Anonymous said...

Salam. Setuju bangat dgn Mr Kalahari.

Saya pun suka baca blog u mak ji..Adakalanya mempengaruhi kehidupanku.. Sudah tentu dapat ilmu juga.

Saya juga bekas pelajar IJ Convent, sehingga tamat tahun 89. Dan sudah tentunya makji tak konal den sobab den ni bukan lah geng2 genius ittew. Nak harap aktif n cun jauh sekali. huhu.. Bila baca tulisan makji, aduhhh.. terimbas kembali saat2 yg pernah dilalui dulu..Tkasih makji, bila boring2 saya masuk sini. Akan den pangge geng2 lamo den jongok umah mkji yo. Nak2 maso abg pit takdo umah..

Bo Boon@Yasmin said...

Esah Jolie,,
just found your blog.. you can be quite sarcastic too.. tapi best baca.. belum habis katam lagi..hehehe...
btw, sabar2 ye tentang message from the dead...

[danial][ma] said...

hej! Huh. Esah...wishing happiii besday...may you have a good life, good love, and great year ahead...;-)

miSs inTerpReted said...

makji,

suka la baca blog u ols!! and sedihnyer dapat surat and cd ittew.

take care

Anonymous said...

setuju sgt3 ngan mutalib. plz mak aji wat camtu plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

anyway epi besday dahling! a belated ek..

nadia

In The Nite Garden said...

Salam perkenalan Hjh Esah,
Sy merayau2 di pagi buta ni tetiba terjumpa blog Mak Aji ni. Mula2 sy bca entry ni sy bca yg last part a,b,c tuh... dlm hati sy tertanya2 apo bondo citer ni.. sedap plak lagu kangen yg melatari blog ni... makanya sy pun baca dr awal utk tau storylinenya. Hadeh... sy tangkap syahdu.. pulak tu sy dgr lagu anuar zain i'm the lucky one... hadeh... terus tangkap leleh... tambahan pulak di pagi buta yg sonyap sunyi ni.. hadeh... tangkap sendu bertalu-talu :'(

Oleh krn curiousity sya dah smpai tahap maksimum, sy harap Mak Aji bleh disclose surat dr arwah exboypren tuh... Bukan disclose every single line, tp cukup sekadar summary akan isi hati penulisnya...

Mr Kalahari,
Do you have your own blog? U sound very much understanding (",)

Buat Mak Aji,
There are many hearts out there are listening to every emotion and creativity which u blend them amazingly in your blog. One of those hearts belongs to me (",)

Al-Fatihah utk arwah, semoga di kasihi Allah...

Dina said...

Hope it is still not to late to wish u happy birthday...

The moment I abih baca n3 ni, trus meremang bulu roma, terharu & sedih...

Hopefully makji tabahkan ati ek...

Take care

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