List Of Komplenan

Komplenan Pertama

After a week arriving from LHR, barulah I menjejak kaki ke Paroi Jaya. Punyalah tak patut...kan? Yang lagi tak patutnya...the stay/visit whatever, only lasted less than 24 hours with my kaki yang meronta-ronta nak keluar balik. I made my sister cover my track...kununnya aku nak bershopping raya dengan dia.She had to do the dirty works i.e. menipu amma and appa while I only maintain muka kesian, minta difahami and dikasihani.I arrived very late hoping that appa and amma will be in bed but chewwwah!!! Appa and Amma bombarded my sister's mobile phone with calls all the way from BSD (where my sister lives) Although we stopped for Teh Halia at the motorway R&R, it is not late enough for Amma and Appa to stay up.I supposed both must have missed me...so, sangguplah bersengkang mata.But my Appa told me off straightaway...kecik hati I (hati dia kecik I tak fikir ke?)Ghope-ghope nyerr...I was the last one yang kena sound dengan dia...the rest dah kena pun.When I heard about it, of course lah I feel a bit uneasy...especially for my siblings yang majority nya dah berlaki and beranak.I bagitau my Amma...that the telling off shouldn't have happened...Appa must realised that semua orang dah ada life sendiri...Appa has no control anymore.Amma as always sebagai isteri mithali (yang akan confirm masuk syurga) terus backing Appa...even in not so many words.Amma got no choice...stucked with Appa.I just wish Amma will have a better life.Seeing Amma made me so angry with Appa...but after sessi sessi mengadu dengan F, I baik diam saja.Yes, Appa loves me and all his kids...but Appa is not a nice man to Amma...we all know that.I didn't talk much to Appa...and I think what is very obvious even to Amma is that I am avoiding him.Yes, I feel horrible but my anger just can't hide the way I feel.Once upon a time ago I even planned to write Appa a letter, telling him how I feel but I know,my Amma will bear the brunt of the consequences...plus I tak nak berdosa and kena sumpah oleh Appa.I pray Allah, soften me a bit...I cannot change the situation...and I have to change me.

Komplenan Kedua

My younger brother was buried at TS Cemetery.Something happened last year and I told my mum what I saw when I was there last.Little that I realised that Amma has not been able to visit the kubur for a while since Appa is ill. (Takdelah sakit teruk mana pun...saja je tak nak kena tinggal) Amma was sad but tak tunjuk sangat.Today I visited my Auntie (pun kena sound jugak..pasal dah over a week balik baru pergi visit)Terkeluarlah cerita yang my auntie ni baru je elected jadi Ketua Wanita Parti Cap Biawak tu...and how the area she lives dah menbangun sikit.Previously when I suggested to my Amma to complain/sue the construction company yang telah mem 'violate' kan kubur kat BTS tu, my Amma kata..alaaa..takpelah, kita bersabar lah.See, Amma...bersabar have not do you any good.They violate us we must lawan.I asked Amma to call her ex schoolmate yang juga a daughter to TS (speaking of which, she also is a mother to that Angkasawan)to find out siapalah yang punya angkara melakukan kerja-kerja terkutuk kat atas bukit tu.Amma said...she tak sampai hati nak mengadu kat Aunty Z tu..pasalnya Aunty tu pun baru kematian anak jugak.So bila nak persuade Amma pun tak jalan, I melobi kat my Aunty yang Ketua Wanita Party Biawak ni.Terus dia pun naik angin and promised me that she will find out siapakah yang telah diupah oleh developer ittew.My Aunty kata she will risk to incur the wrath of that area punya Ketua Wanita,but she tak kisah dah.Tu dia..(plus dia kenalah menolong anak sedaranya ni..yang dah mengangkut berbotol-botol krim badan M&S, eh..ni bukan rasuah ye?).

Komplenan Ketiga

I bought my sister a PC.Menurut sumber-sumber yang dipercayai, I can get a good deal kat Low Yat Plaza.Off me and MB's ke Low Yatt. I played the navigator and MB drive the car.Bangganya I masih ingat jalan walaupun hati menyumpah kat Mat-Mat Rempit yang majority nya ada death wish tu.MB is a typical Bukit Bintang Girl.Makcik kan dulu bertahun-tahun jadi PR Director kat hotel area tu.She can tell you with her eyes closed kat mana pusat-pusat pelachhh...mana nak dapat pond...mana area kongsi gelap cina.MB's negotiation skills is superb so I let her bargain while I instructed the PC boy what I want for the unit.In the end, for all the fastest gadget you can asked for, with bagak monitor and a wireless router, I paid only 2K.Balik aje rumah...I realised I have to install all the software.Celaka...dah bayar dua ribu semua kena buat sendiri.I did.Sepanjang malam until I discover that the CPU is without a network card.Pagi-pagi buta I telephone si budak Acai ittew...this people who sells computers, always ingat kita ni bangang tak tau apa kan? They all kata semua ada, you kena buat ini itu.I told him, I have done it and I'm sure the instructions is clear enough that budak 10 tahun pun boleh buat.Then the English Mannerism keluar...okay.This is not good enough, I want to speak to your Manager.Because I paid by card and my card is not local, I told the manager that his shop is violating my rights as a consumer...and kalau dia nak berdolak dalik jugak, I will call Barclays and instruct them to cancel the payment.Hah...you can't trace me, what can you do? I went back to Low Yatt Plaza with muka macam asam papaya...ORDERED my PC to be reformatted and tup-tup, punca nya ialah the Ethernet driver yang dah ter corrupt.Kurang hajar punya kedai..cuba nak tipu I ye? They fixed it and aku dengan tak tanya apa-apa pun terus keluar from their shop.

Komplenan Keempat

MB2 nak tengok orangutan kat Sarawak nun..so we booked our Borneo Holiday for next week.We booked a room at this hotel ditepi pantai/gunung.I urged MB to speak in Sarawakian dialect when make the booking pasalnya, boleh sidak nya merik kamek orang diskaun tek? The hotel organised many local trips so MB enquired some.When I booked online, the trip cost me $80.00...okaylah.Tapi, bila MB berkelakar dengan orang hotel ya, nya madah..oghang luar kamek charge $80, kitak oghang seghawak $40.00 ajak lah. Jahatnya.....just because MB2 orang putih...charge double ye? Tak baik tau...orang putih tu pun sengkek macam I.

Komplenan Seterusnya....bersambung bulan depan.

Selamat Hari Raya.

Selamat Hari Raya 2008

Hello kengkawang ku yang dichentahi....

Updating blog wasn’t the plan bila berchoti-choti ni...tapi memandangkan masa ni ajelah yang kita semua boleh bermaaf-maafan...so I thought, I better make the effort.

Susah betul nak dapat access internet kat sini....I’m not talking connection wise, tapi semenjak-menjak berblogging underground pakai nama tak sebenarnya...ditambah pula dengan keadaan lubang yang dah nak terpecah, so Makji kenalah berhati-hati bila bukak website tu. Siap kunci pintu, tengok-tengok belakang lagi....and membaca blog secepat kilat. Within 5 minutes look-see-look-see, terus sign off siap delete browsing history lagi...punyalah paranoid nya.Bukan apa you all....kalaulah dinampak dek my mother, my sister or my cousins yang mulut pokpek ngalahkan pembesar suara Pasaraya Mydin tu, habislah reputasiku sebagai Pompuan Melayu Terakhir....cawangan Paroi Jaya.

Sebagai anak yang sungguh durhaka....I only see my parents after a week...hish, taktaulah nak jadi apa...

Kerja I hari-hari, pergi beli popia basah sampai lima ketul and seplastik air keladi, and makan macam babi...I went out twice to berbuka puasa kat luar, dua-dua dengan bini-bini orang yang sanggup meluangkan masa meninggalkan anak and laki.Kesian sungguh!!!

I had a good time menaik RapidKL, walking along Jalan Ampang and looking for places that according to Elviza, sudah tak wujud lagi.

I cringed looking at the Mark & Spencer’s price tag...that would suit a Datin here...but very affordable kat Aci-Aci penjual maruku kat Hounslow ittew. Baby GAP,Daddy GAP and Mummy GAP....mak datuk.Ni bukan nak cakap besar lah ye...most of my baju and office clothes are from GAP, but honestly, kalaulah I nak pakai GAP kat KL ni, I really have to line up laki-laki orang yang loaded untuk kubuat Sugar Daddy.

The drebar-drebar in KL (ni termasuklah my brother and sister, my in laws and Si Jipin budak Taman Datuk Wan tu...), cemana you all boleh pass lesen, tak tau lah I.I got my licence at 17, that time, orang Malaysia memandu sungguhlah berhemahnya...and nowadays, they just don’t care if they or others die.

I think, on the second day, I watched that film called ‘GUBRA’ ke gabra...that kununnya directed by one really famous woman yang menjadi idola ramai orang.That girl is right....she sounded stupid when she speak malay...in fact, she and the whole lot sounded silly when they speak English, in what supposed to be a malay film anyway.Especially that Boyan faced man, with blonde hair...ohhh...she meant nothing to me..just a piece of meat.Is that all bang oiii?

Watching all that drama that shows the consequences of being a anak derhaka, mula-mula tu sangatlah menakutkan...but knowing me, insafnya adalah sehari.Pastu mulalah kaki gatal nak pergi sana-sini-situ.

Okay...here’s the important bit. Sempena hari raya yang mulia ni...I first like to memohon ampun and maaf, teghutamo eh kek puak-puak Pilah & Co, yang pueh kono umpek.Mahapkan acik yoo....Tuanku....janganlah halau acik keluar dari Paroi Jaya or sumbek an acik masuk penjagho ISA.

To my friends...thanks for the time and company.Kalau tak disebakan you all dah beranak pinak, harus kita berlepakan sampai sahur kan? Matilah kena bagi notis keluar rumah dengan laki masing-masing.

Kepada JT yang telah ku auta, pastu takde courtesy plak nak tepon mamat tu cakap I kena cancel pasal nak balik Malaya....aiyo, haruslah dia masih menunggu kat Restaurant Bonda tu, sampai sekarang.

I was told I have followers...yang masuk opis terus bukak my blog sebelum basuh tangan. Not meaning to put you all off, but apalah sangat yang boleh dibaca kat sini...dah le tak boleh nak diambik iktibar....buat banyak dosa lagi ada.

I just wish I can be included in sessi gossip-menggosip like 2 orang itu....habis bloghopping, boleh mobile phone hopping pulak buat continuity discussion.

To all...kalaulah ada benda-benda yang menyakitkan hati...or kata-kata yang kesat macam tapak kasut Adidas saya (motif tayang brand kasut?)....sila terima salam kemaafan dari Makji Esah yang berat badan dan naik 3 kilo semenjak balik ni.

Kepada kawan-kawan yang beraya tanpa lemang,ketupat & rendang kat Paris,Hull & Cambridge ittew....merasalah aku upload gambar raya kat Facebook, and tengoklah puas-puas.

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin...

Achtung !!!

Hello kawan-kawan yang dicingtahi....

I'm going to be off for a couple of week starting besok.As we speak, I tengah mengarahkan pembantu peribadi tolong carikan passport I, tah mana diam nya sekarang ni and I juga mengarahkan diri sendiri pi carik kain baju yang nak dibungkus masuk dalam beg.

I am happy at the prospect of tak payah pergi kerja and buat kerja opis, although I'll be bringing some work home and promised my Boss today yang every 2 days I'll be remotely checking office email from my current location.

I am also happy at the prospect that I'll be seeing a lot of mentally capable people and never have to talk therapy 7.5 hours daily.I don't have to discuss anyone's suicidal thoughts and I don't have to hear anyone's weird and abnormal sexual tendencies.On top of all that, I am happy that I don't have to take notes, discuss you in my weekly supervision with the Consultant and analysing every little bit of you.

However, I might embark on a new profession once I'm in KL.

I am quite happy to resume duty as a pakar motivasi diri kepada anda-anda semua. If you ever need facilitating in

a) Cara-cara menyonglap duit suami
b) Melepak berjam-jam kat KLCC or warung-warung tanpa rasa bersalah kat laki dan anak-anak
c) Cara-cara menangkis tohmahan laki anda yang jealous kerna anda bersosialan tanpa batasan
d) Hypnoteraphy --cara melupakan anak-anak and laki selama 10jam dengan mudah dan tanpa rasa bersalah bila berhuha dan bershopping
e) Discover your hidden potential, demi memenangi perperangan mulut dengan laki and mak mertua anda
f) Open up to new possibilities, laki ada boyfren pun ada juga...
g) Duitmu Duitku, Duitku Duitku Jua...Kau takleh share

Untuk tempahan, sila hubungi saya menerusi talian terus ataupun sila buat temujanji dengan my imaginary personal assistant.

Hope to see you soon.

Of Puasa

I sempat posa 3 hari aje, and on the verge of the day 4, nak makan sahur dah ni, and terus nampak signal.Hish....but I completed the day dengan tak makan minum hapa pun, technically macam puasa tapi tak puasa.

Bila I tak puasa, yang gumbira ya amat mistilah si Tua ittew. Tapi tiba-tiba pulak dia tanya, kenapa I tak puasa? I cakaplah kat dia, orang pompuan, kalau masa ituitu, tak boleh puasa. I really hope the conversation finish at that.Terus si Tua tanya lagi...kenapa pulak? I pun jawab lah apa yang I tau.

Kesudahnya, benda yang kecik camtu, teruslah leading to percakaran mulut yang besar. Si Tua mulalah kata, I can't understand...your religion look down on women..what with the discrimination...bla,bla..keluarlah cerita pasal pompuan kat Afghanistan.

Berejam jugak tak bertegur sapa.Tapikan...dalam marah-marah tu, I pikir jugak...I really see the point of the argumentation.

As much as this may sound controversial, why are we considered 'dirty' when we are menstruating? I realised that all this years, I never really question that. And I think, we Muslim never question that.

I baca cerita perempuan yang kena cerai...kena tunggu 3 cycle of period baru boleh kahwin lain.Kesian jugak pompuan kena lagi tunggu 3 bulan.Padahal kat Malaysia, nak bercerai bukannya senang...the pompuan really have to struggle for their release.The Jantan puaka main suka-suka ati nak turn up kat court and famously main dilly dally...siap boleh hilangkan diri lagi.For all you know, pompuan dah kena tinggal for 3 years..eventually kena cerai and kena tunggu lagi after 3 bulan or so. But the Jantan, boleh berbini baru macam tambah absorber kereta aje kan?

Bila dah dicuti rehatkan from puasa, kena ganti lagi. Nak ganti puasa ni bukannya senang. Macam puasa kat UK lah...berpuasa dengan kiri kanan setan.Like yesterday, half way through puasa, I kena buka. Cerita nya camni...I dah lah tak lalu makan sahur..tup-tup bangun pagi..terberak, kau kau lah banyak nya sampai perut pun kosong (hish, tak malu..terberak pun cerita dengan orang) pukul 2, pukul 3 masih boleh tahan lagi....come 4.30pm, I betul-betul rasa lembik and nak mati.I think my ulcer made it worst.I called MB (yang sememangnya malas puasa) and we have our feast kat McD. Lepas makan tu, I dok ingat, on top of my 5 days cuti rehat puasa, I got another one in addition to ganti. Bila nya masa nak ganti ni? Puasa tahun lepas pun ganti separuh aje..(oops...terburai rahsia)

I strongly feel (walaupun macam-macam fatwa dah keluar kata takleh buat tu,takleh buat ni) that what you do, only Allah will judge and decide.Then I think, maybe I should just puasa, walaupun bocor and mintak Allah terima saja puasa I tu.

I think questioning some rules without intent to disobey, is far better than doing Lina Joy.Kan?

Marilah kita bersama-sama bertepuk tangan...kepada seorang wanita suci kat Paris nun...yang gigih puasa walaupun berbadan 2 and terlupa makan sahur. Kalah I yang RaMALAS Ram ni.

Sekian.

I Ass Eh?

Merasa kau Kak Tipah...ni Mak hapdate lagikkk......

I noticed this...

Any concerns, whistleblow kind of matters to Pak Tidollah, there is likely, the person who address it will be ask to resign.Yang suruh resign nya pulak, mula-mula tah hapa Menteri or Ketua Unit Blablabla....the next day, another barua Minister pulak call out asking for the whistleblower resignation...and by the end of the week, seluruh UMNO pulak suruh orang tu resign.

Eh..Pak Lah, tak boleh kena tanya or kena tegur ke?

You got caught sleeping...you lost badly in the recent election...there is a obvious sign of your co worker dissubordination, what more do you need? Tak cukup ke sign tu? Nak tunggu teropong anak bulan resign ke?

Aiyaaa...susahlah. I ni mulut banyak kuat komplen lak tu..tak pasal-pasal kena tangkap ISA. Kalau dah kono penjagho, cenno den nak poei rayo Chombong,Chongkau, Josseh..Gontam and Kampong Tolang?

p/s Masa bloghopping, I terbaca pasal Sophan Sophiaan...ayoyo....lelaki pujaan omak den. Al-Fatihah.

Sepetang Bersama JT

Dah 2 hari, 2 malam suntuk I kat opis. Mintak-mintak semua kerja siap dengan cepat nya and I boleh balik on time besok...(cemananya nak abis kerja, ni gi buat posting blog buat apa?)

Dua hari lepas, demi menyahut seruan (paksaan more like) si JT, I went out to buka puasa dengan dia.Biasalah, dia bagi alasang paling classic...I'm in the area.

Kawan-kawan jantan saya sekalian, tolong lah, next time kalau nak sangat jumpa kawan pompuan you, janganlah pakai alasan camni. You may think that it is convenient and that the other person akan diselubungi rasa terpaksa, dek sebab you are near. The truth is, the alasan is very unflattering.Seriously.We pompuan will think that, ye lah, you all dah stranded kat area I ni, and dah takde orang lain yang nak diajak keluar.

Cubalah cakap....eh, I datang jauh dari Reading...(psst..Reading tak lah jauh, 20 minutes by train aje from Twickenham) teringin nak jumpa you. Wah...melompat I keluar dari opis!

I keep reminding myself, okaylah..dia ni kawan sekolah.Pulak tu dah puas ku sakitkan hati nya...tapi masih jugak nak kembali kepangkuan. Dia nak buka puasa sangat, ikut saja lah. Pakcik nak ajak I gi London..ala, tempat makan Melayu tu but I really not keen to travel far senja-senja. Mak kan pompuan mithali, tak keluar malam?

Ingat-ingat balik, jahat betul I. Orang tu yelah nak berbuka puasa nak makan something nice and I pulak pergi cakap kat dia, kita pergi makan kat Pub aje lah..2 meal for £9.00 ke hapa. Takde langsung rahmat bulan Ramadhan.Kesian Pakcik tu baca doa makan dalam Pub yang penuh dengan air-air setan ittew.Menengok kan keadaan dia, I rasa bersalahnya and cakap kat dia, eh..not the idea of perfect buka puasa kan? Sorry lah...Pakcik pun senyum saja.

Like always, we talked about him.Still bitter about his impending divorce.Keluarlah cerita si bini nak mintak harta sepencarian, brok brek brok brek.Tak berhasil betul. Habis licin pahala puasa dia pi kat bini nya.

But to be honest, I really feel sorry for him.Ni lah jadinya kalau buat keputusan tak pikir panjang.He married her in a hurry kunun nya tak nak jadi bujang terlajak...hati maseh chenta dengan kekasih lama yang dah tak chenta lagi padanya...ingatkan kawin dapatlah menutup kisah lama dan merawat jiwa luka...nak nak dapat yang keras kepala macam dia jugak.He has, obviously underestimate bini nya, whom he like to refer to as Gadis Felda.Ptuihhhh!!!!!

I pun dengan tak pikir panjang nya, dek rasa kesian and malu dengan perbuatan jahat I, pi lah cakap kat dia and we should do another buka puasa again...I nak belanja dia makan.So we set a date...and he is very excited.

Tapi kan...yang benar nya, date yang I suggest tu is a day after I balik KL.Waduhhhhh!!!!

P/s. Nama aje berbuka bersama...yang sebenarnya, I tak posa you.Hehehehe...

Update

Geez...rasa hati nak bertapa lama-lama.Maklumlah lubang dah pecah. But, is it?

Tu lah, bila orang berblog...kita pun nak ikut ada blog.Glamour ke ada blog sendiri ni? Tak jugak...tak hupdate kang, orang bising.Orang yang bising tu pulak, blog dia sendiri pun..harapkan active masa dia cuti berpantang aje.Sekarang ni memacam alasang nya...in house expat dah lari la...nak masak untuk laki la..(padahal jgn tak tau..masa dok berpoya-poya tak hengat dengan aku that day..tapau dinner plate KFC aje untuk laki dia) kemas ghumah laa...

I don't have the privillege macam orang tu ada in house sperm donor, so nak cuti berpantang tu mungkin takdelah buat masa sekarang ni.But seriously, after my facebook occurence that day, hati I menggelabah sungguh..manalah tau..adik-abang-sepupu spare part I start baca this blog.I ni dah la banyak mengutuk orang...adik sendiri, abang sendiri..sedara sendiri..parents sendiri...mano acik nak lotak muko acik ni?

But then...what you read/have read...jeng..jeng..jeng, may be not necessarily true.Am I really a Paroi Jaya girl? Or am I a girl? For all you know...I might be Razak Baginda, blogging all the way from Sungai Buloh. Or I might be Sultan Johor yang bertangan gatal dek lamanya tak melempang...or, I might be Angelina Jolie yang, while writing this post, dok selak-selak catalogue budak-budak kecik online..who am I going to adopt next?

What I seems to notice is that my virtual personally and my real personality is slightly different.Macam mana lak ni?

I must tell you now that I am the most unfriendly person...if I'm in a good mood I'll smile (walaupun gigi tak chantekkkk) and if I'm in a good mood, I'll be very quiet too.I do not have an interesting personality.

So that is all you need to know.If you think I am similar to your cousin yang tak suka campur orang tu...then maybe I am her.But again, you can't be sure because I can also be someone else.Like..a 2nd wife of mana-mana Datuk, yang sungguhlah kesepian bila Datuk balik rumah bini tua (yang garang lagi kaki control...ahak..dalam kaki control, sompek lak laki akak kawin lain kan?) and menggunakan masa-masa lapang dan sepi bermain internet...ahhhaiiii.

On a more serious note...takziah kepada that ex policeman yang kematian bini and emak..all in the space of few hours.Takut jugak I baca that news.You will never wish that on your worst enemies.

Tapi kita kan manusia biasa.Ada expectation...ada perasaan..ada mood. Sekejap mood baik and sekejap mood kilat sabung menyabung.Nobody want to make enemy, tapi along the way kalau tersakitkan hati, although you cannot be sure and responsible if orang lain pulak yang nak bersakit hati.Kalau tak suka, kena tegur...in the long run it will be good for the relationship.Tapi ramainya yang tak boleh kena tegur and mulalah menyimpan dendam.

I have my fair share of sakit hati dengan orang...honestly, I just can't help it, especially when your sincerity is met with stupidity.Kena hari tak betul, benda yang kecik pun boleh jadi besar.If it is a meaningful relationship, sedih gak hati hilang kawan tapi kalau yang bangsa, tak kawan pun tak rugi..boleh blah lah.Jahat sungguh I ni...

I received this email from this young lady who frequented my blog...(Cik..saya bukan pakar psychology bertauliah tawwww...entah-entah, saya ni pun orang gila baru terlepas section) yang bertanya, how to get over bad feeling.

Apa ke kisah nya? Something that come between you and friends or family, for some reason you feel that the responsibility (for causing it to ruin) is yours and there's nothing much you can do and feel bad about. First, you are in the sound mind to know what you want and what is good for you.More often, when you do feel bad about something, it is likely to be about you than them.Yes, friendship and other relationship is important too, but you are living with your own conscience.Orang nak kecik hati...you nak buat macam mana? I have a friend yang kawin dengan laki yang mak paknya tak suka. Dah kahwin 10 tahun pun, masih tak suka gak dengan lakinya tu.You takleh paksa makpak you suka kat laki you.Yes, you feel bad..but why feeling bad over thing you have no control of?

By saying this, avoiding bad feeling pun tak guna juga.You can't get over and you can't avoid.Talk to your friend, break the ice.Your friendship is strong enough for all this feeling to get in the way.Your friend pun kenalah ingat, bukan hati dia sorang aje yang terluka.Hati you pun dia kena jaga juga.

Tapi kan..kalaulah kawan you tu memang cap ayam brengsek, self centred cow...dah dipujuk, dicakap baik-baik pun masih lagi nak menunjuk perasaan...dah lah.Takyah kawan dengan dia lagi.Kawan bukan sekuntum.Meh kawan dengan I.

Sekian.

Mari Tuan-Puan Dengar Ini Cerita...

Karena kemeriahan mulutku yang amat sangat, I pi kompang kat my cousin yang I ada Facebook account.So, together...we add each other as a friend, walaupun reality nya, bertegursapa pun amatlah jarang nya.

Today, while I dok berbalas-balas message-message berbau porno dgn Hjh Haleemah, my cousin messaged me.So, we berborak-boraklah, asking me bila I nak balik yadda, yadda, yadda.

Because there is nothing to chat about, I ended up asking her berita-berita mutakhir kat Malaysia nun.Saja laa...macamlah aku tak baca news, but I ran out of idea to chat. Seperti biasa, she story me about DSAI, Pak Tidollah...Saifulliwat, Altanboya, all them to Ahmad Mahmood demise. Laaa...inalillah.

Because of our age difference, she being 10 years younger, conveniently I terlupa yang dia ni bukan lagi budak comot kuat nangis yang sikit-sikit lari belakang mak dia.She is obviously well read and study and here I am, imagining her in her lampin pakai buang.(I am not talking sanita taww?)

She told me that I should read news produced by Malaysiakini and not Utusan. Dalam hati, nak aje cakap..ye,I tau...but obviously, you never thought you will get that info from someone who you remember well by crying for no reason.

She also told me that another interesting thing to check out is blog (macam lah...) She named all the blog that I should check out.Pheww....sungguhlah informative budak ni.

Tiba-tiba....

'Kak Ngah, you should try reading this blog.The author is so gila tau'.
'Ye ke?' 'Siapa?'
'Oh..Kak Ngah google Hjh Esah, nanti semua pasal dia keluar' 'She lives in UK'
'Ohhhhhhhh'

Fashionably, I excused myself out of Facebook, telling her I nak berak.

And I still nak berak....rasa nak berak. Rasa nak meletop!!!!

I'm sure by the time I publish this entry, she will now know who is Hjh Esah.

Pssttt....jangan bagitau orang ye?

And I shall go underground.Sebelum aku mengilangkan diri, kepada orang ittew, terima kasih atas pengiriman Sampoerna ijau.

Larikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hari Ini Dan Kak Eton

Today is the 3rd day. Finally I ate something 'proper' for buka puasa. I am at work and will be until tomorrow evening.

On my 2nd day (yours 3rd) I sahur with an apple and then berbuka with just keropok. Why apple? I was in a deep sleep and by the time my mobile alarm woke me up, I only had like 5 minutes before the sahur ends.What can I do with 5 minutes? Nothing much. I remember that my colleague left me an apple (we always share fruits, me and him) and dalam separuh tiduran (I am sure I am way pask imsak) I finished the apple and continue sleeping.

Of course during the course of berpuasa, your mind is playing trick. You can feel sakit perut like nak mati and feel that you cannot wait for another minute.Come 7.48 pm yesterday, I drank a mug of coffee and already, my tummy is filled.To 'buat syarat', I makan lah keropok udang yang my opis mate bought for me the day before.

I stayed at MB last night and unfortunately, MB still takleh puasa. Honestly, I tak percaya but I'm not that notorious to check her spentot to see if she is really menstruating.I have done enough...I show her up as the malas puasa one, pun tak jalan.I guess it is just hard when you are a chain smoker.Biarlah...I must tell you, MB is the nicest soul and I hope, she will gain her pahala puasa in a different way. In the past, although dia selalu puasa yang yok (as in buat-buat muka lapar depan I, tapi kat opis isap rokok) she is the first to make sure I am fed sahur and buka.I pray Allah, MB dapat pahala berganda memasak untuk orang puasa.Aminnnn.

Last night MB asked I nak makan apa...but I was just to sleepy to be planning a menu. I slept til about 4.30 am, way past imsak...but I quickly buat kopi and makan apple.If I don't, I might get too weak to work.

I travelled to Barts Hospital for a strategy meeting and on my way back to opis, I stopped at this local chippie and tapaued Fish & Chips. So, hari ni tadi, buka puasa, I makan fish and chips.

I can't wait to go home to eat nasik panas with taugeh masak kicap. See...I am a low maintenance child.

I read about Kak Eton Sameon yesterday.This may sound horrible..(nak nak bulan puasa ni) but I don't think she ever recover from her accidental defect.The interview sort of give away her current mental capacity.I remember when the accident just happened and this nasty Cikgu Sejarah in my school remarked 'Kita mintak-mintak lah dia sempat bertaubat ye...'. If only I say it like it is that time, I sure cakap balik kat Cikgu tu..apalah cikgu ni...Cikgu sendiri dah tobat ke? Oh Kak Eton.What loud and clear is that, she is now a charity case.She probably wish that she went with the son as well.But all she want is to continue living like us do and doing what she can and does best...singing.If she is in UK, she will be well looked after and she don't need to go around telling that she needed help.If I have her address, I'll send her some duit raya.

Kesian Kak Eton. All TV and Radio stations, maybe should, dalam seminggu sekali play her songs and award her with royalty.Boleh jugak tolong dia sara hidup.Cukup-cukup lah cerita pasal sumpah liwat,Permatang Pauh, sumpah tak kenal Altantuya and all that unnecessary nonsense.

Selamat Berpuasa.

1st Day Of (my) Ramadhan

Selamat Berpuasa you all...................

Let's start with something hugely embarassing for me yesterday. Ni lah padah nya kan...tak bercampur dengan orang (alas..dengan monyet pun tidak bercampur juga)

I was at that Merdeka Carnival (most of the time dodging people I hope I don't bump in to) We decided to go in the end, I told MB, since nak puasa ni, let's make the best of eating all the food we can't find in Tesco. We talked MB2 into agreeing, as dia macam tak nak pergi sangat...katanya tak syok nak pergi sebab Hjh Zaiton & Hjh Leemah tak ada.

Rezeki Allah ada dimana-mana saja...while I was lying in the grass macam Ratu Porno...(ish...takdelah) a young lady accosted me, invited me over to her 'allotment' to makan nasik lemak. So, I dengan MB makan nasik lemak free that day. We bought karipap la..of course, but I am refraining myself to comment any further but suffice to say, Puan Zaiton...karipap you all (as in karipap buatan you all, masih lah yang tersedap di serata UK and ROI)

As MB talked to her family in KL on a regular basis, I kind of depending on her to tell me bila raya and bila puasa.Never struck my mind to double check kat internet ke but I mati-mati ingat puasa is today.

During my break yesterday, I logged on into my blog page and nampaklah ramainya kengkawan yang mengucap selamat berpuasa and tanya apa nak dimakan bila berbuka nanti.Heran jugak..puasa pun belum tapi dah tanya apa nak makan bila buka puasa kan? So, I pun telephone lah Puan Zaiton.

Puan Zaiton pun confirmlah dengan I yang puasa start semalam and I was very angry with MB for misleading me (I was actually angry at myself for being THAT ignorant). Untuk memjuk hati sendiri, I told Puan Zaiton, alamak, I tak tau..takpe...I will start fasting from sekarang lah (2-3pm) but immediately rasa macam tak aci sungguh, pasalnya, I baru makan.

That evening I printed out jadual buka and sahur and simpan satu dalam opis.(Hjh Leemah...so that will explain the 'besar kemaluan' ye...bukannya benda lain.Hjh Leemah dalam puasa-puasa dan demam-demam nya laju aje pikir pasal extra appendage.

So, yes. Officially, dengan tak malu nya, I started fasting today. I stayed at MB, kununnya nak ada geng makan sahur...tapi MB tak puasa...tumpah darah katanya.Ye lah, tumpah darah sokmo lah mung. Armed with 2 packet of Maggie mee and Kopi Panas, berpuasa lah I sorang-sorang kat opis.

My opis mate are a gem. She bought me cakes and prawn crackers for buka puasa. It is longer than usual but not as bad as the usual summer time buka puasa. With sahur ended at 4am, it is a total of 14 hours altogether. At 8pm today, I ate Egg Sandwich and 2 slices of cake for buka puasa.

I honestly do not know what will there be for me to eat later for sahur.

Selamat menjamu selera you all.....