The One With...Makan Like Anak Babi

One of my tanda-tanda awal datang bulan is that I makan mengalahkan anak..eh, anak so little, ah..there you go..mak babi!!!! That is one. There's a complete cycle of perubahan character. Starting from nafsu makan diluar tabii...followed by angin kus-kus nak marah oranggggg aje....then, tak hujan tak ribut suddenly air mata bercucuran tak tau lah pasal apa...and finally the last indication, tompokan merah yang memalukan disertai dengan sakit perut yang sungguh menyakitkan hati. You know when I say sakit perut, the menstruating sakit perut is different from sakit perut lain-lain...

I don't know the best way to describe the sakit perut, but it sure is annoying and irritating. Sometime, the pain is akin to

a) Sakit perut macam nak berak...tapi tak pulak nak terberak...
b) You feel like ada anak-anak setan main tarik-tarik your tali pusat....
c) Sakit perut macam nak beranak...however, I cannot confirm this, as I pun belum beranak and at the rate I am going, jangan kata nak beranak, nak kahwin pun belum tentu ada orang nak

A week or at least 10 days before tumpah darah, I will be overcome with nafsu want-to-eat-like-pig.Tapi kan, tak period pun, I already makan mengalahkan jin and the during the ovulation process, the nafsu will increase from not only I want to have Special K or Bran Flakes for breakfast, within 1/2 hour, I demanded MB to cook me battered fish, with chips, mushy peas and chicken frankfurter.

Come lunch time, I asked MB to tapau me kuehtiau goreng from Oriental City and within 4 hours after that huge fish meals, I walloped a container of kuehtiau goreng, 3 karipap and 2 can of Pokka Coffee.


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I decided to go to work today. Hati masih panas mengenangkan Arsenal yang kalah semalam (maliewww tau...4-0) but I guess, MU need to win lepas dikalahkan dek Man City (isk..lagi maliewww, kalah kat tempat sendiri...) so..takpelah, kalah pun kalah lah..tak leh lah nak menangggg aje kan (matilaaa pujuk diri sendiri)

I locked myself away from others. I really need to get on with my neglected paperwork yang dah terbengkalai semenjak dua menjak berterbangan sana-sini ni. On my desk, there's 2 messages from Kak Katak, asking if I'm free to entertain her with some of her research tomorrow. Knowing Kak Katak yang 2,3 menjak ni dah pandai menyelam sambil minum air, her request for assistance will be diselangselikan dengan request-request yang lain (see...so babi dibalik kuehtiau kan?)

Trust that my hormones is all over the place, I called her. Really business-like call when I actually told her that I am responding to her 2 messages. 'You called me twice?' 'Saja nak tanya khabar...also diselangselikan dengan hihik..hihik..hihik....yiksssss'

Then came this, 'Eh, you boleh tak tolong my hubby dapat kerja kat tempat you?' I am so not in the mood. Honestly, I saw so many malay boys yang kena jadi kuli kat Mara House or that Edgware Road Malaysian restaurant, hati macam nak tanya, adik...meh la kerja kat tempat akak...pencen pun dapat tau. You all kerja mati-mati kat kedai makan ni, apa pun tak dapat.Gaji ciput lak tu'. The boys are so hardworking. I know for a fact that they get less than the national minimum wages...but, what can they do? With no proper immigration papers or National Insurance card, they have to make do with basuh pinggan £3.80 an hour...

With my red magma that will erupt anytime soon, I know that anymore ihik..hihihik....or any kind of gelak-gelak pompuan gatal will result in me mengeluarkan kata-kata puaka that can kill the katak instantly, I carefully words my reply to her, not at all indicating that laki dia pemalas and tak guna....

'Our organisation have a recruitment protocol. Get your husband to check out our website....www.lakikaupemalas.co.uk and find out more about the job and what is the requirement. I can give you the HR number and bla...bla....

(padahal, application form ada dalam laci I, saja ja kan tak nak tolong)

I was hoping that Kak Katak will put off....( I will if I am her) but can you believe this....

'You free tak ari Rabu, I ajak abang I jumpa you boleh...you cakaplah dengan dia..you ajar lah dia...'

Mak datukkkkkk.......