About Me

Monday, February 25, 2008

Remembering Today

****I have one posting still floating so be warned that blast from days before will suddenly appear***** Ceh...macam bagus.

I have this old luggage stored in my father’s mini library in KL. One of his paid helper come across it couple of weeks ago and only last week father realised that it was actually mine. So he summoned si mini-CNN to ring me just to tanya what’s in that blue luggage and why was is locked? I had this feeling that one of these days they all will bound to ask apa benda lah yang aku simpan dalam beg tu, it has been there since 1998 and was last relabelled in October last year with big sign ‘Don’t Open & Don’t Steal My CD’.

I realised that some of my prized possessions (like CDs) dah ghaib. I know for a fact that my cousins-cousins puaka orang Seremban had stolen them (my mother resent I used the word ‘stolen’. Alaaa...adik beradik kau jugak tu...biarlah dia pinjam... But mother, listen...cousins are not adik beradik, you may be related to their mother or father but as far as I am concern, once they detest the boundaries like meminjam my CD without permission, the tali persaudaraan is long gone. Just like the CD.Longgggggggggggggggggg gone.

I managed to have some stolen CD replaced, it is so easy here, you log in to amazon and within 2,3 days, you have them CD delivered and I don’t pay the HMV or Virgin Megastore price. I paid so cikai price, I can get The Best Of Chicago album, silver edition for 99p. Kau ado? Tak ado kan? But sadly, while you can replaced the orang putih CD, how can I ever get back the like of Malaysian local group ‘Indesicive’ and ‘Intoxicated’? I was so lucky that nobody curi my ‘Lizards Convention’ CD. I was really nak nangis when the CD Shamsul bought me in one of our not so many dates ghaib. Syafinaz first ever solo album.

While most of my CD back home is now sorted, I still have one or two prized possession here there everywhere. Some of them is hidden in my blue luggage yang sekarang ni dok menjadi mystery kat my father and my little CNN sister.

My father thought that I have lost the key and forgotten the lock combination, so he said he will be happy to ask my kaki-pecah-rumah(oopss...my mother kenkadang kena kunci dek samseng kecik-kecik kat rumah,so my brother is often got call back to undo the lock..ish..kira pecah rumah lah tu kan?) younger brother to open it for me.

See, my father is very polite.Although he was the one who given me that big luggage for my first ever UK trip to study, I am so touched that he actually asked if he can open it. I quickly said no. I said to him that when I come back for Raya this year, I am going to sort my things out...hint..hint...kamek pulang raya tawww.

When I was dating Sham, like any other pompuan gedik yang dilamun chentaaaa, I saves everything for keep. The letters, the cards, the bookmark with his writings on it, the photos, even the daun kering pun. I don’t know if he still keeps the things I gave him. Because chenta ku diterminatenya tanpa notice, it took me a while to really realised that he is gone...the fact that we went out again for the 2nd time doesn’t help and overall, I don’t really know how long was it that I was really ‘free’ from him. I met him when I was 16, 3 years after that we went to UK,I came back, he left me for another woman, re surfaced after 5 months and resume dating for 1 and a half years, adalah dalam 10 years githoo...

Over the years, I know that I still keep the vast memory of him hidden somewhere and that is in the blue luggage. So when my sister asked me about the bag, hati ku macam terpana....eh, apakah makna nya terpana ni? Well, let’s just say that I was numb. It’s been a month now since his passing and to be honest, I haven’t got round to do my bit of grieving yet.

Lately ni, selalu jugak lah terkenang kat dia. I really believe that he came to see me before he went as I was remembering Paris with him and his warm hands. But I’m sure there are people out there that are missing him badly, more than I do. His young son, his mother and his sisters. He is their only son and brother. I am just an ex girlfriend.

Thinking about him in my happy memories really affirms the fact that I was once so in love with a very nice man but sadly, as much as I want to remember him alike, he was the one who broke my heart.

9 comments:

l!z$$ @)--- said...

sabar ya han..ui awal madah kitak balit raya..

bini mokhtar said...

makji!!! i pon sokaaa intoxicated. paling best lagu doraemon dgn diet. lagu kucing tu pon best jugak! tapi i pon dinch ado cd... tsk tskkkk

Typhoon Sue said...

is this the 1st time u use his actual name here instead of his simian moniker? that says a lot about what u are feeling right now.

hang in there luv.

harta karun amende dalam beg biru tuh??? mesti priceless junks ni. Like me, among other things from my 1st date:- ticket stub tengok wayang citer Kickboxer (Jean-Claude Van Damme)- dating masa sekolah, tgk citer bodoh2 je la ...
dan lain2 benda bodoh yg sewaktu dengannya.

don't hang on to too many memorabilia makji, it will keep u in the past when all u need to do now is live in the present and look forward to the future.

captlukman said...

dek non speachless abt your past sebab aku pun sama gak..ahahaha anyway makji, lusa ambe sampai london. Mrasa lets buang masa dgn i kalau u ada masalah...**takut u busy:D**

HatiRiang said...

Hari ni hatiTAKriang.....

As much as u wanna hold on to the memories, my sincere "2 cents" opinion, kalo nak ingat pun, yg 'bahagia2' moments only k... Yg 'robek2' tu,sepak jauh2 k!(Aduh! mcm bagus je!)I wish u hapi sokmo luv...jgn sedih2 lagi ya. Barakallahumafeek....May Allah swt bless u.

Manal said...

10 tahun tu dah boleh beranak 3-4 kali kan?

Nak tau, i still simpan mainan percuma colgate (i think) given by this abg polis yang mesra, cepat dan betul itewww 17 years ago, noks...And it wasnt because i had feelings for him or anything like that, it was i think the only sweetest memory i had of my 1st trip to cameron highland that time *mmmmrasa aku kanak2 juvie


Ape dengki sangat ke your sister tu? Selagi u masih hidup, leave your stuff undisturbed except to move the whole bag into another corner but not the isi.

That music list u put up there, u should change it and add something that wont bring your mind back to arwah. Something more cheerful, come on girl power!

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Liz, mustilah madah awal-awal, mun senang kitak mauk masak nang nyaman-nyaman tuk kamek duak Mak Badak..

Hahaha...lagu kucing tu best kan..Kucing ku Aki kan nama nya?

Sue, a'ah..semenjak org tu dah jadi aruah, mcm dosa lak aku nak panggil dia sia***g kan? Buat nya dia datang balas dendam ke, dicakar nya muka aku ke..siapa yg susah..aku jugak...

Lokmang..marilah kita bersama-sama menyundalllllllll dgn meriahnya...hahahhaa

Hati Riang, ingat yg bagus-bagus lah ni...nasib baik aku dah puas umpat dia sebelum dia mati...but like you said, yg robek patut sepaklah jauh-jauh...dah jauh pun...thanks dear

Manal..that will depend la kalau masing2 tak mandul..hahahaha
Eh, kau menggatal ke dgn Abg Polisi ittew?

Anonymous said...

apakah maksud terpana itu?? ni nak nak refer kamus dewan bahasa ni hehee...

yatie

Dina said...

rasanya kita pompuan ni mmg sukaaaaaa nyimpan things yg ada kaitan dgn kenangan2 silam ni.

I'm a clutterbug myself. Dulu2 zaman lum ada kecanggihan teknologi ni, surat cinta yg jd penghubung. I kept all my love letters. Boyapren Iban I tu kt UiTM Sah Alam, I kt UiTM Phg.

My roommates selalu dok gelak kt I sbb surat chenta ni lebih tinggi dr my study notes tp bila kitorg break up...abih sumer kena bakar !!