About Me

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Where's The Flowers?

I never get flowers, ceklat or anything romantic for Valentine's. Never. Bercinta macam nak mati (and orang tu pun dah mati) pun tak pernah dapat bunga. Let me remember....(hard...very hard) tak ada.The nicest thing from him is a mixed tape and the engagement ring (yang bila hati panas, buang pastu cari balik...)

Hati wanita ini nak jugaklah merasa orang hantar bunga kat office...helium balloon besar gedabak...pastu seisi office tengok...'Waaaa..you boiplennn..so lomentikkk'. That never happened.

I always say that I don't do flowers...memang betul. If I'm given a choice, you nak apa...I'll opt for more practical thing like duit, computer game, chocolate...however, I will never say no to flowers and I can see myself berfeeling bunga-bunga bila dapat bunga. Kesian kan I?

I was talking to male colleagues today, tanyalah..hey you all, takde ke beli bunga for yr woman...2 out of 4 kata, my girl tak suka bunga, she's into something practical. Well, I imagine that if you tell your boyfriend/husband that you're into something practical, mana yang semi-sensitive will take you out for a meal together, but you'll see he is the one enjoying the food more than you do and tak de pun berpegang-pegang jari across the table with him telling you how beautiful you are. He will probably moan...'It cost me bomb this dinner'.

To man yang fully practical and yang tak sensitive langsung pulak, if you voice out your desired Valentine's gift is something that is practical to both you and him, maka, the man will probably think having intercourse is what you mean...it signifies 2 things, showing his love and giving you pleasure...

*** This only applies to a relationship that has passed the comfort date***

In my care, there is this 22 year old Asperger man, reasonably good looking, no personality and if it's not because of his diagnosis, he is the most obnoxious man a woman ever bore. Understandably, no social skills. But life is about wanting and willing, however defected your brain is. I appreciate his brain defect hence resulting in his learning difficulties. Orang kata, kalau bodoh boleh belajar... tapi kalau bongkak gajah..sampai tua la kau mati keras...

Personality is something you can create and manage. We all tend to copy and quite fortunate that some of us know which act to follow and combine it with our original features and we get our desired personality. Orang tak hensem tapi boleh jadi hensem in different aspect and I'm sure many will fall in love (rupa adalah sikit) with the way people present themselves. Anyway...chenta itu buta,but we should argue this. All the pompuan cantik, go out with not so good looking man but banyak duit.Mata kena lah jadi buta kan?

I have stop working with him and not refer him to any more counselling session. Tak ada guna nya. When I look back at my previous patients file, all this men have similarities. I think we hardly ever have any successful session or program with men. You identify their problems, you can see their needs but what you can't change the way they think. Pure reason for that is because they don't want to. They will, but that is when they're ready. Along with their stunted maturity.

When we're in a relationship, we desperately hope that things will be smooth all the way through. We tried and hope, non-stop. Sometimes we change our way but later questioned, why did I bother? I think we bother is because we care too much.

My teraphy supervisor told us today that man will change when they're ready and this will normally be a very unconscious process. They will certainly change if they want to, but in most cases, changes occur when it's already too late.

You remember that Boyz II Men song 'Some people will work things out and some just don't know how to change.....'

Doesn't matter lah..aku jugak yang takde dapat bunga.....

3 comments:

bini mokhtar said...

aah la makji, i pon selalu ckp kat mokhtar jgn beli bunga, membazir tapi bila dia bagik adoiiiiiiiiiii la, berbunga2 hatiku inniewwww!! (pastu tetaplah cakap membazir kann) hee.

Manal said...

haross la ala2 "diri ku mawar pudar warna, tiada lagi yg istimewa"....eyuuurghhh, so pathetic that lyric kan, bodo btul making any malay girl terus hanchor lpas kena tinggal just 1 man....memang kejam!

Anyway, i ade la penah dpt bunga2 ros/ or bouquet of flowers although tak penah lagi la dpt from a proper florist ala2 through special delivery. Bunga Tesco pon penah dpt tawww. But, sama la kita, although i wont be asking for flowers and all, once in a while, nak la jugak kan, saja nak mintak kalau that fella tak paham2...

But this year no V-day fo me. Tengok citer Maid in Manhattan and Fun with dick and jane on Astro and pastu tido...

Eh, ape citer mamat JT? gone with the wind ka?

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

BM, kan..? Kata tak nak tapi bila dah dapat...................bunga-bunga hati gitu..

Ayo Manal...with all that options..kau dok rumah sensorang aje?