When We Are The Centre Of....Us.

Do we always do as we told?

Ohh tidak. Kadang2 aje lah pun. Tengok siapa yang tukang suruh. But mind you, kadang-kadang benda yang baik untuk kita pun kita buat dengar di angin lalu aje. Ye lah...kita kan selalu ingat we know ourselves better than anyone, tak gitu?

I was never good at Mathematics subject. Modern and Add Math. Mampus. No amount of tuition can fix me. I even refused the extra classes saying that, I know myself better, I will never do well. Bongkak tak hengat. My appa also said that he is bad at technical subject so my bad in Maths is inherited from him.

The truth is, I don't like the subject and because of that I didn't do well. Dah terang lagi bersuluh dah cakap tak suka, maka tak suka lah. Somebody said, when you say bad things it is like doa. Cakap benda yang sama more than 40 times pun doa. Truth is, mana ada orang doa benda tak baik, kan? Benda jahat kita mintak dengan setan. If you deserved bad luck then it is bahagian you.

Let me tell you what sort of people I see/saw in counselling room. Okay, we are not suppose to pass judgement but there's actually 2 types of wolves. One is genuine/unconcious/oblivious and another is just crying for attention.

My counselling activities is limited to those who is unconscious. The term we used for people who has mental disabilities. Permanent and temporary. Bila kita terlampau stress, kita tak akan nampak jalan keluar maka secara temporary, otak kita tidak berfungsi. Shall I assume that you who is reading this is not permanently disabled? If yes then that will be another story at another day.

I have a friend who called me, telling me her problems...betapa serius macam setan nya...semua orang salah tapi bukan dirinya and her idea of problem solving is to get away from it. Memang lah kak oii..in the real world, kalau problem kita dgn laki kita, maka jalan yang mudah nya is to leave him. When people call you for advise, they should rightly tell you, this is the situation I am in now and this is what I think I should do. Please tell me what you think. Another bodoh thing I heard from this so called pandai friend of mine who is currently in dire financial problems is that she can't work because kepalanya berserabut. Then I ask, how to earn money if you're not working. Katanya, she need someone to loan her the lump sum, settle her debts, clear kepala nya and start again. Ish...

Ada orang yang set-set dia ajelah mangsa keadaan...siap cakap dgn you, I know myself better than anyone and don't tell me what I can and can't do. (Tapi dia jugak yang pi cakap kat kita) So, in this person case, you are just a pair of ears to validate her comiserations. Ye lah, kalau simpan aje problem karang takdelah pulak orang tahu kann?

One word------bloody selfish. This person is the centre of his/herself and no one else. Not their love one. They can tell you they care, they love their families but....if their selfless do is something like, okaylah..hari ni I tak buat manicure/pedicure because I want to spend time with you, maka tak payahlah you toleh kiri kanan lagi.

Okaylah...entry ini bukanlah specific nak ditujukan kepada sesiapa. Yes, most time..we have to put our needs first. Because no one else will. Some people have this fixed idea on how she/he will be happy. We know we can't have all. Even by knowing that, we still can't help to feel so sorry for ourselves. What are we feeling sorry for? That things are not so perfect.

I recently met an old friend and we talked about our mutual friend yang dari zaman sekolah sampai ke dah nak masuk umur Poziah Latip ni tak habis2 dirundung malang. And of course she is the object of sympathy. To me, macam dia suka pulak orang sedih2 tengok keadaan nya. Ada ajelah yang tak kena dari A to Z. Kalau status update pun set-set, ohh mengapakah...hanya Allah yg maha mengetahui...ohh ya Allah, tabahkan hati ku berikan aku kekuatan...prekk prekk...ohh, not that I have anything against that. Elok. Memang kita patut minta pertolongan dari Allah..tapi lepas doa tu, start balik wallowing self pity seantero FB, pe hal? So, kononnya nak menghadapi hari-hari yang kelam seorang diri dan tiada siapa akan mengerti gittew but satu alumni sekolah kita dah tahu gamaknya.

Tapi, dia juga adalah officer bank besar kat Malaya nun dan adalah henbeg yang mahal, as oppose to kawan kitorang yang dipaksa berenti kerja dek laki dan menternak anak aje.Lagi mau kata nasibnya malang.

But between the 2, the self centered one will messaged me with perkhabaran yang bahawa dia rasa I lah yang sangat beruntung dalam dunia ni sebab dah duduk Hinglen, nampak macam happy go lucky etc etc. Of course lah, orang selalu rasa duduk di Hengland ni macam best tapi tak tahu betapa perasaan itu bak time bomb mengenangkan family yang jauh. Tu tak masuk sebatang kera ni. That was my excuse lah...but wei..enough lah with the idea that my grass is more greener than yours.

Takkkk......she decided that her life is such a mess. Even the positive outlook pun akan dilumpuri 'masalah' dia. Pastu boleh cakap...ohhh yang I ni tak paham, because I am not wearing her shoes. Hello? Nasib baik kau ada kasut ye.

Many moons ago, mine and Kiah mutual friend ni pun dilanda masalah jugak. Well, self inflicted if you ask me...but looking at, masalah kita semuanya didatangkan oleh kita sendiri, kan?

Pun we both realised that the pattern...poor me, pour me. So I told Kiah, biarlah. She is the type of person who will do exactly want she wants. Tak kisah lah benda tu salah. They will be an excuse to justify that too. But that does not make her a bad person and we must be there as friend.

Thing is, if the luck strikes, nothing bad will happen to them. They will survived. The only shameful fact is that, they overlooked the beauty of life that have up and downs, being happy and subjecting/subjected themselves to masalah-masalah yang sungguh tak perlu. Believe me, if you want to be happy, you can. Even for 5 minutes.

Well, of course the people who bear the brunt of it lah kan.  Maksud I, sometimes in the quest of our 'happiness' tu, kita memporak perandakan jiwa orang lain. Some people still sleeps at night knowing that. It is not like they don't care. They do care. They know how much damage they have cause. They just don't want to do anything about it or they have different ideas of making it right. Tu aje. There is no lesson to learn, because the self centred people knows everything. What they do now is their own conscious choice. Good or bad.

I lap you, Kiah.