About Me

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Happy Ivy

MC bbmessaged me this morning. Our ex boss died. None of us know the actual cause but judging from her FB picture diaries and notes, I told MC I think she may had lung cancer. And she did. She died after a month being discharged from UMC. I recalled her last message to us on her FB wall, she said her 'lights' is fading. True enough, it died today.

I wasn't planning on talking to MC today. Bengang punya pasal...but after the news, we resume chatting. Emosi lah sikit...the news of any death will only remind you that it could be you next. Insaf lah kann...

I did some counselling work in palliative care sometimes ago. But I opted out because it is really distressful. Mind you, I work with the learning disabled who has no concept of illness, let alone dying. Often they wonder why are they ill and why are their visitors crying. To talk them into agreeing to undergo chemotherapy, neeedles interception and the painful lot are hard. I find myself making false promises all the time. Just one off..it is not painful etc, etc..and all I can hear after that is them crying and asking me to take them away from the pain. I cried a river...everyday.

To me, their only consolation is that, they faced their death unknowingly. So to say, they were spared the fear.

We read about cancer patient journey to fight their illness. Some survived, some didn't. Some recover and live happy ever after, some recover but cancer strikes again in remission and lost it.

To me, those who lived through their borrowed time...and planned, are lucky. I am not directly saying that you're lucky you got cancer but you're lucky in the sense that you are given time to enjoy, to show love and to seek forgiveness and most of all, preparing to die.

I have more compassion for those who is left behind untimely. It must be hard not knowing. I said to those who were affected by the death of their loved ones of cancer, to count their blessings that the deceased and them somehow managed a parting moment. Most cancer patient are lucky that in the face of adversity, they somehow managed to secure happiness before their eyes shut indefinitely.

Rest in peace, Ivy Wong...my friend. I will always remember the unique you.

1 comment:

pakmat said...

..salam lady..to my mind we are all on borrowed time..the manner of death is immaterial..and every death is timely..just a question of how we look at it..cheers..