About Me

Friday, August 22, 2008

Updates

I'm still off work. But I will tell you soon why. Since the 9th, I have been idle. I watched Olympic, I facebooked and I read the TV mag from back to back.

Facebook Muse
I keep getting this friend request from an unfamilar guy.I ignored him once and twice...tup!!! datang balik. So today, I decided to view his friends.Still not familiar.So I messaged him. I asked if I might remember him from somewhere and if maybe, he can help to remind me of where.

So, he is very,very young to know me from anywhere.

Unusual Craving
The good thing about having your own blog (well, depending on who's reading it and your status, by status I mean, if I am writing this blog using my real name...ehem...ehem...Zara Salim Davidson..I may not be as gobby as I am now) is that you can write whatever it is in your mind of from other people's (kes-kes plagiat tak hengat ni) Couple of weeks ago, I've written something about Dentist...and by doing so, I managed make one Dentist bini orang's feeling very apprehensive and extra conscious.I was just being naughty...plus, lying await on that Dentist chair can make you feel that you need to take everything lying down.

Well anyway, that got nothing to do with my craving...biasalah aku, selalu sidetrack.I ni teringin nak makan nasi minyak.(Ohh..adakah itu tanda-tanda aku akan dipinang?) I keep missing on my relatives wedding. My last trip home, my two cousins decided to kahwin a week after I balik.That is so frustrating.Frustrating in a sense that, kalau rumah sedara mara, not only that you can makan bertambah macam lembu, you can ordered some nasi minyak and other lauk to be tapaued home as well.Balik rumah makan lagi...

So, I know this is cheesy (and undeniably stupid) but dengan muka tak malunya, I nak tanya kat sapa-sapa yang baca this blog, kalau you nak kahwin or ada adik,abang kakak or sepupu sparepart yang nak kahwin within the first 2 weeks of raya, silalah ajak I ye.I nak sangat makan nasik minyak.

Just When I Thought I Was Over You....
Laa..macam lagu Air Supply kan? Apa lagi ni Makji oiii? Well, I received email from one of my ex's friend.Katanya...Pakcik tu have written me a letter. The email was lengthy and maybe, intentionally meant to make me berderai ayaq mata.Nope.My ayaq mata takde pun berderai.This letter apparently was written when my ex was hospitalised, in between his treatment.I know that he has written me an email but I just never realised that there was another spare time for him to write me a letter.

I was angry.I know this sound bad, but blessed him wherever he is, masih lagi ke nak mencarik-barik kan hati ku yang rapuh ini from his grave? It's nearly 8 months and surely if people have sense, apasal tak cakap siang-siang kan?

I was in love with this man for so many years...siap boleh main tarik-tarik tali gak lagi...metaphorically and I am now trying to come to terms with him not being there anymore for me to puja-puja (and tergolek-golek) and now, when I am at my most vulnerable...dia boleh datang balik????????

Bersambung.

3 comments:

Goddess Selene said...

Meh dtg sini, nnt mak masak nasi minyak!

Manal said...

Jap I nak pikir....yg pasti i wont be married yet by that time....BUT, we can take u to biryani Gam johor? yup u r right on tapauing and makan bertambah at umah sedara. The last sedara i went for wedding kenduri was last april, lama dah kan? My last kenduri kawen pon last 9 August.

On that late ex: Ape hal kan nak kasi surat pengakuan hati lpas org tu dah pushing daisies for 8 months? maybe all these while he made it pekasam ke kan. Kot dia pi bukak envelop dia ke? Pastu dia lak melalak kesayuan dek isi kandung surat tu. Pastu dia pakat nak nanges dgn makji...? or he had had trouble finding u?

Arwah tulis tangan ke typing on his laptop? sungguh sadis plak. Saat2 akhir pon he kept thinking of u endlessly. Must be the guilt-ridden part was much2 painful than his own illness? all that made him forgot that he was fighting with death? All the what-ifs and so on died with him and he eternalized it on that letter?

Tapi kan, (jgn marah yea makji) apsal masa tau his time was up baru nak bukak segala pekung/luka di hati? prolly he died peacefully knowing that he finally left u with those unsaid things.

On a lighter note: I teringin lak nak bikin drama kisa makji ni. So which actor wud fit Si Tua?

Anonymous said...

agaknya dia masih rasa bersalah towards you..so bila dia dah tahu dia tak akan hidup lama tu yg dia meluahkan isi hati dan perutnya ke dalam surat...apa pun makji, dia sudah pergi menemui Allah so doa kan je lah baik2 utk dia ye...

yatie