About Me

Friday, April 27, 2007

To Hell You, Mood Wreckers

Dengan berani nya, I pi bagitahu kat my boss today yang I taknak gi office...pulak tu,I replied her email dengan panjang lebarnya making points why I think she should tell the big bosses that we trod too much on so called 'management responsibilities' and neglecting humanities. Well, the truth of me not going into office today is that my kepala rasa macam nak pecah and that is it, you all, maka sudah tibalah masanya I akan gagahkan diri I pergi ke Specsavers besok.I am so due for eye test, and this persistent headache is the clear sign...either mata dah bertambah rabun or power dah makin kurang...but sorry Luke, I masih tak berani nak buat lasikk okay? Biarlah, tak menawan pun takpe...

I got this email from my boss asking me to explain why am I approving some ancilarry expenses on provision.Although she accepted my earlier explanation (when we gone overbudget last month) she said that it was not deemed reasonable by the top gun and she wants to know what are my thoughts.Well, since she asked.I'm happy to explain in 15 paragraph.Hambikk...3 years of reading law taught me to provide explanation from beginning to the end with all facts.Psychologically, I now think that is all to conceal my insecurities...ye lah, better be prepared and have all details watertights.It has been my style of work all along...my colleague call it perfections, but if I may explain,it is really a defence mechanism.I only like to be prove wrong after all right corners are fought.Gila kan?

I also have been ironing some relationship creases lately. Metaphorically speaking. After all, I bought that new steam iron for the good cause...Well, MB2 terbaca or saja baca pasal nak menyebok my blog. Fine.It was never a secret to anyone.However, makcik itu telah terkecik hati kununnya terasa yang I ni mengata dia.Well, what can I say. The thing is, although kenkadang hati ni tak berkenan dengan perangai dia, I must say that apart from MB, she is my closest friend, as in literally close by the regularity seeing each other face. She is a very thoughtful person and always looking out for us. I was rather dissapointed when dia tiba-tiba tak tegur I and pastu pi pesan kat MB suruh bagitau I betapa hangin nya dia dengan I, pasal apa yang I tulis.

Macam nilah, I am a responsible person (or am trying to be) I took full responsibility for what have been typed. As I said to her and now to you, I am not set out to insult anyone. I have plenty rubbish thoughts in my kepala hotak that I need to clear and I am so lucky that I have this facility. You who reads are wonderful people. Either way, kadang kadang kita ter identify dengan apa yang kita baca. Good or bad. Most of the stuff in here are about me, the people that I wrote about affect me in certain ways, but still, it is all about me. I wrote about Awie and it is all back to the main point how I hated 2 face coward. Macam mana I mengata pakcik itu pun, it is all bogged down to me and how I feel. I really can't help it if ada yang terasa.

What is there to say the least? We bound to come across something we don't like.We can either make our point, speak our mind and hoping that others will prove us wrong or right, or at least, share their view. In my case, she felt betrayed. Part mana yang dia rasa dia di 'betray' oleh aku,tak tahulah.Because I care about her,I challenged her.Once and for all.In the end, we got them sorted.

I know some of us yang menjadi mangsa serangan emosi panas-dingin from people we least expected.My advice is, if you think you done nothing wrong, don't allow yourself to be consumed with guilt. Don't go around explaining yourself to this emotional attacker. They should really come to you and sort things out rather than making their feelings known through unreliable messenger or worst, telepathy. Pre assumption are only wise if you have stronger ground to assume. Otherwise, don't let this people wreck your mood.

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