Kelucahan Melampau...

Semenjak dua tiga menjak ni, I selalulah terbaca kat Utusan Malaysia online pasal few people yang telah di prosecuted of the kesalahan 'kelucahan melampau'.Aduhai...

I think I must ask the very intelligent LeQ, what the hell is 'kelucahan melampau' ini? Extreme obscenities yang macam mana ni? Correct me if I am wrong, I worked out the list of things that I feel paling lucah and by committing this, will I find myself liable for prosecution?

a) I like to dry my hair after shower, clad in towel around my body,kemban style.Disebabkan I ni taklah terror macam Vidal Sasson or Tony & Guy, hair drying is a battle and by doing so, I lose sight of the towel compel obedience around my body, maka dengan itu, ter expose lah tubuhku yang mungil ini.Is that, understandably action of accident, can be classify as 'kelucahan melampau' ?

b) Some drivers are born to be overcrowding the motorways and drive slower than snails.Not only that they're THAT, some of them are so impatient and have been treating their car honk like a musical instrument with malicious intention to annoy and upset other. My attitude to these kind of drivers are usually, strong verbal intervention and some not very polite hand gestures.Can this be 'kelucahan melampau' ?

c) What about sexual gesture? Kelucahan Melampau kah ini?

d) Presenting a gift yang ada unsur-unsur lucah ?

e) Sexy talk?

f) Butt pinching?

g) Trading porn DVD?

To Hell You, Mood Wreckers

Dengan berani nya, I pi bagitahu kat my boss today yang I taknak gi office...pulak tu,I replied her email dengan panjang lebarnya making points why I think she should tell the big bosses that we trod too much on so called 'management responsibilities' and neglecting humanities. Well, the truth of me not going into office today is that my kepala rasa macam nak pecah and that is it, you all, maka sudah tibalah masanya I akan gagahkan diri I pergi ke Specsavers besok.I am so due for eye test, and this persistent headache is the clear sign...either mata dah bertambah rabun or power dah makin kurang...but sorry Luke, I masih tak berani nak buat lasikk okay? Biarlah, tak menawan pun takpe...

I got this email from my boss asking me to explain why am I approving some ancilarry expenses on provision.Although she accepted my earlier explanation (when we gone overbudget last month) she said that it was not deemed reasonable by the top gun and she wants to know what are my thoughts.Well, since she asked.I'm happy to explain in 15 paragraph.Hambikk...3 years of reading law taught me to provide explanation from beginning to the end with all facts.Psychologically, I now think that is all to conceal my insecurities...ye lah, better be prepared and have all details watertights.It has been my style of work all along...my colleague call it perfections, but if I may explain,it is really a defence mechanism.I only like to be prove wrong after all right corners are fought.Gila kan?

I also have been ironing some relationship creases lately. Metaphorically speaking. After all, I bought that new steam iron for the good cause...Well, MB2 terbaca or saja baca pasal nak menyebok my blog. Fine.It was never a secret to anyone.However, makcik itu telah terkecik hati kununnya terasa yang I ni mengata dia.Well, what can I say. The thing is, although kenkadang hati ni tak berkenan dengan perangai dia, I must say that apart from MB, she is my closest friend, as in literally close by the regularity seeing each other face. She is a very thoughtful person and always looking out for us. I was rather dissapointed when dia tiba-tiba tak tegur I and pastu pi pesan kat MB suruh bagitau I betapa hangin nya dia dengan I, pasal apa yang I tulis.

Macam nilah, I am a responsible person (or am trying to be) I took full responsibility for what have been typed. As I said to her and now to you, I am not set out to insult anyone. I have plenty rubbish thoughts in my kepala hotak that I need to clear and I am so lucky that I have this facility. You who reads are wonderful people. Either way, kadang kadang kita ter identify dengan apa yang kita baca. Good or bad. Most of the stuff in here are about me, the people that I wrote about affect me in certain ways, but still, it is all about me. I wrote about Awie and it is all back to the main point how I hated 2 face coward. Macam mana I mengata pakcik itu pun, it is all bogged down to me and how I feel. I really can't help it if ada yang terasa.

What is there to say the least? We bound to come across something we don't like.We can either make our point, speak our mind and hoping that others will prove us wrong or right, or at least, share their view. In my case, she felt betrayed. Part mana yang dia rasa dia di 'betray' oleh aku,tak tahulah.Because I care about her,I challenged her.Once and for all.In the end, we got them sorted.

I know some of us yang menjadi mangsa serangan emosi panas-dingin from people we least expected.My advice is, if you think you done nothing wrong, don't allow yourself to be consumed with guilt. Don't go around explaining yourself to this emotional attacker. They should really come to you and sort things out rather than making their feelings known through unreliable messenger or worst, telepathy. Pre assumption are only wise if you have stronger ground to assume. Otherwise, don't let this people wreck your mood.

I Think I Know Where This Is Coming From...

Selepas puas bergundah gulana sensorang kat office sampai sakit badan, I decided to do some retail teraphy.So, dengan bongkaknya, after doing long day at work yesterday, I walked to Curry's and I bought myself a new steam iron yang ada kuasa magic and also boleh bertukar colour macam traffic lights. Wah, sungguh impressed nya.Tapi, gosok baju malas lah pulak.

Thank you all for the kind words. I wish I can say more about what's been bothering me, tapi memandangkan masalah ini masalah dalaman yang bakal mengecikkan hati orang-orang yang penting dalam rumah I, I kenalah diam-diam...walaupun hati ni macam nak menjerit-jerit.

On the other notes, I was a bit annoyed with Miss Nigeria, now when I come to think about it. I received her email, casually macam takde benda yang berlaku, and I was like, you are not at work still, with no valid reasons and you are still vague about whether you're coming back or not? Ni lah masalahnya, I take this too personal, masalah orang pun jadi personal issue to me sampai people can take advantage of me knowing how I would normally personally function.Thus making the act of professionalism hard to achieve. I tipu my boss kata dia demam and padahalnya, dia kena kurung pulak dengan bapaknya (katanya lah) and sekarang ni, will see if she can convince them to let her return to work. And I am expected to be this understanding person who care what the hell happened but apparently, the last to know. What about the personal responsibility? Tak ke mengambik kesempatan kat aku yang lemah ni? Why can't she just say, I need more time off ? People need to run a business here...and aku lah yang terkedek-kedek cover orang punya masalah sampai diri sendiri pun merana...celbed sungguh!!!

I replied her mail with the piece of my mind (that sometimes can be frankly vicious, although trying hard to get a point across) Harus dia kecik ati and akan berfeeling nak munuh diri lepas ni. Working and personal relationship works about the same, tak boleh commit, jangan commit.It is so unfair to string people along, giving them hope and provide uncertainties.I must admit, I applied a friendly relationship with my work colleague and in the past, it was more trouble than gain and there's always the dishonest one who takes advantage and manipulates.

I was critisised by Frankie for doing that, although upset, I do see the point and how wrong I was allowing personal feelings to cloud my professional action. Being a partner, I was rather upset to be critisised in such ways, yelah..kan ke nak bermanja-manja and mengadu-ngadu...and knowing that you wrong, how many more telling off can you take? Dari si chenta hati? We always have this thing about confiding in our love ones about our worries and problems.Because they care, they may say something that is true and it hurts, but as we see them in a loving lights, we will somehow, want to hear the truth, but hoping that the truth will come in a more alluring ways, like 'Oh..you are wrong Darling...but it's alright, I love you anyway'....something like that. But some people can't help it with their natural capabilities to make others feel like shit.

But, there is a lesson to learn, how we really should separate how we feel about the person...as a person we love and the things they do and say...like looking at David Beckham, thinking of him as this gorgeous person and separate the disgusting thought of his squeaky ducky voice. Boleh? People that we love the most selalunya banyak idea yang menyakitkan hati...tapi dek chenta, they are the same person we love and the same person who is annoying and deserved to push in the bath with a running hairdryer. Hambik kau!!!

My father, I honestly think that he is a nice person...a good son to his parents and a good father. However, whenever his angry, I can't help to think I am the one he hated the most.So is my partner.Some people are just not blessed with the good filter and good things that meant well can come out horribly.But nevertheless, the love is there and I, just have to take it. And I also realised, the more I talk about my father, the more I see him in me, yakni, bermulut puaka. Haiyoo..sorrylah Abah.

Pandemonium

The week has passed with plenty unpleasant things happened.If I may, I want to list down all the things that I find upsetting, of which I will, as you read along. I am so determine to sleep late tonight to do some blog-catching-up and to read the pile of newspapers that my colleague so kindly put away for me, during my work-related reclusion period. For those who called and emailed that I haven't answer, please accept my sincere apology as I truly did not have time to do so. I have been busy replying the more work-threatening mails than the friendlier one. I was emotionally disturbed over things that happened within my private space and I am still physically tired having to work all day and night since last Monday.

At last, last night at home, I finally able to reflect on things that I will now refer as a life pandemonium and how it is affecting me badly. I often think of my parents when time like this and this is when the reality of them being 13 hours flight journey away from me sank in. I remember when I was sad, I used to drive from Subang Jaya and stay a few night at my mother's, sit in one corner, not talking to anyone and just stare at my mother doing her daily things. It is such a comfort knowing that she is there. This made me feel sorry for those who had lost their parents. Me and my mother hardly talked, not because she is not nice or I have some issues with her but that is the way it is since I can remember. My mother always busy and I am a the kind of a person that needs to be talking to rather than doing the talking to. After few days of looking at her and say nothing, I usually ended up feeling a lot better. And that is by thinking about how my mother somehow survived the nastiest thing being thrown at her and she is still who she is and hopefully happy. Well, how bad can life be? We were made to withstand all the things that is coming our way. Things wouldn't be thrown at us for no reason. Sometimes I tell my mother things that is bothering me. Her good quality is that she listen well...and sometimes, will say her bit and enough to make me calm. I am so lucky to have a parents like mine that works their strength as a parent differently. My mother listen and symphatised while my father will either point me to right direction or better still, helped to solved the problems for me.I guessed this is what I missed. Having parental protection.

Well, as promised earlier, list of the most upsetting things this week is that Miss Nigeria will not make it back to London until 1st week of May. Although work is hell for me, I am hoping that she is well.I have to cancel all pre booked plan and for that, I apologised to those who are expecting me. Apart from some office do that I cannot escape no matter what, I was invited to a birthday bash by someone rather close. I so want to go but in the end, I didn't and used work as an excuse. My late brother would have turn 30 last Wednesday and I'm feeling sad that while someone is having a hell of a party celebrating their big 3, my little brother didn't live long to tell people that he is 30. And for that, I can't bring myself to attend Lynsey's 30th birthday bash.I am so sorry but I do hope that you had fun.

Somebody upsets me a great deal couple of days ago. As this person means a lot to me, I choose not to do anything but deep down I am brewing hatred. I fear this as I don't hate easily. I might turn into a nastiest piece of work or the worst, an emotional wreck. I bury my frustration at work and become physically tired, however I must admit that I found tranquility by creating a separation.

People said that when you're emotionally troubled, what you feel will cloud your judgement. I have come to certain conclusion and if this materialised, this will be the biggest deal of life-changing decision. I am so convinced that I need to walk away to keep my calm and sanity. I will be sad not to be near them but it is better than have the relationship severed. I need to work out what to do next and meantime, have to detach myself from you,but until you see me next time,always remember that you are all always in my thought.

High Anxiety - Private Note 1

I spent a long day at work today and as we speak, I'm still at work with so many threatening emails from head office that needed urgent reply.Unlike the Orang Putih, I don't really like the summer. First, the early sunrise disturbed my morning, and that is a biggest deal in my sleeping pattern as I am not a greedy sleeper. As early as 4.45am can appear like 10am and it will only be darken by at least 9pm.Summer and Winter is equally depressing !!! (hamboii..tak bersyukur sungguh)

Now that some of my MRSM clan have been virtually in touch, bahasa and cerita dalam blog pun kenalah murni-murni sikit (haiyoo..hypocrite nya!) So Sarafina & Aizee (nama separuh sebenar) thanks for keeping in touch and by proving to me that Beseri's clan are the smartest in CSI'ing untraceable people like me (Cheh...how do you know it's me yeah?)

I have a little trouble at work now; Miss Nigeria is AWOL.Janjinya nak balik on the 12th, but as at today, tak nampak pun batang hidung or kaki dia yang panjang tu.Kena malaria kah dia? I really need to get on with the rota and without Miss Nigeria, my workload can treble like badak sumbu Farouk itu. I knew she having some problem with her parents.Dia dah terkantoi dengan bapaknya pasal they all tahu yang dia ni dah bersekedudukan dengan boyfriendnya kat sini.Mind you, Miss Nigeria is a staunch Catholic and I can imagine, although she have been Americanised by her American Boarding School, she is very much a typical Nigerian daughter who still takut kat MakBapak.I was and am worried about her, janganlah passport dia dirampas oleh ayahnya yang garang itu.

Besides that, Frankie and I are in the mode of 'speaking again' now.Macamlah takde kerja lain.I voiced my worries about Miss Nigeria kat dia and dia pulak tak semena-mena,tanya bila I nak apply British Passport, takut apa-apa jadi kat I.Ni pun satu, suka hati I lah kan.But, I have been thinking about that quite a lot lately ni.Since travelling was made harder by all the immigarations that seems to dislike my Malaysian Passport, I am so appeal to apply for one but I know, by doing so will upset my father.Having a PR is distressing enough for him, although, dialah yang jadi my sponsor bila I apply for residency that day.Some years ago, he insist on keeping my I/C, kononnya, takut I tak nak balik and will continue to renew my passport in the UK.In the end, after I got my Mykad, I offered it to him to safekeep, tak nak pulak and but made me promise to balik every 6 months to visit him.But being the anak durhaka (ah..ah..ah...) that I am serta berpenyakit janji manis mu MIC, since last June, aku pun belum ada nak balik lagi.Tunggu raya lah ye...

My anxiety bertambah dengan si Frankie is asking me to move down closer to mak dia kat West Sussex nun.I have not giving any answer although I did not rule out the idea.I can see and feel how I contradict myself a lot (to myself) where I always hope to be looked after by someone who care about me.I found the person that can do the emotional caring bit.Somehow with me, emotional and being practical is like mercury in the tepid water. I always consider myself alone (and Frankie hated this) here. Ye lah, mak ayah jauh.For a long time I have built this wall around to keep me safe.I like to do my own things and I so very much want to trust my partner.But I am finding it very hard.And I feel bad because I am not capable to put a trust in Frankie.

Unlike MB's, I was never a victim of Frankie's excessive jealousy. Takdelah pulak orang nak check telephone I tengok siapa call,message bagai. I can go out to parties as long as I cakap bila I nak balik. The only thing that Frankie doesn't like is MB's. Insecure tak sudah!! I pretty much call the shots and often get things done my way.I am so selfish that I sometimes question on how long more dia boleh tahan.We both have our insecurities.It will be 6 years this June, how can we not overcome that already?

I am also a bit anxious now that the lease of our current flat is ending soon. Me and MB like the flat. MB love her new beemer so much and staying in the current residence secure her good night sleep without having to worry about some boys wander about the street preying on her new machine. For ages I have nagged MB about buying a house.Rent is just too much that I feel so sorry to see that money flowing into other people mortgages, not ours. Now that MB is with MB2, situation is a bit delicate because nak tak nak, MB2 misti di include.We thought of getting a 3 person mortgage to get a 3 bed house, it is more like an investment for me and for them to get into property ladders.I can't live with them forever although I know MB will feel safer to have me around.We went and look at houses today, set eye onto one and try to get as many choices as we can.I told them both that I need to have a place just in case anything happen to me. One of this day I have to tell Frankie about the our plan.Mesti aku kena marah or kena tinggal. I feel a bit shaky.I am so,so anxious.Talk soon.

Self-Psychoanalysing

First, don't believe this.A recent census done by Hjh Esah among the doubles (as in, people that are not single) shows that approximately 100 percent are neurotic.That estimate is the problem on the low side.The reason for their neurosis is simple enough. Is them.Is me and It's you. Consider this. Your partner loves everything about you: your car, your living room couch, your laptop,the food you eat, the bed you sleep on and anything.Yet, if you live with them, they take up more space than you, and change television channels indiscriminately and refuse to offer a seat at the most comfy spot on the couch.

Unbeknown to many of us, our partner may find us boring and vice versa but for the sake of the longevity of the relationship, food and money supplies and sexual favour, this are not up for discussion and mention. Nak mati? You can only say it to their face if you have no intention whatsoever to see their face again. For their mental health, if not yours, it is essential that you take time to amuse your partner.Inadvertantly, you will also amuses yourself. This is not necessarily a full time job; you can stop trying the moment your partner falls asleep.There are several ways to catch his/her attention.The good one is to pretend that you are intrested in whatever they're doing, like their job (even if you don't know sepatah haram jadah pun) or anything else that they take pride into doing although that might includes emptying their bowels,farting,eating what not.I appreciate that this (pretending) is not easy. Your interest will probably strike your partner as something less than spectacular, but he/she may still find it amusing enough.Your partner can sometimes yawn in the middle of anything.Subconsciously letting you know how they feel.Size of gap indicates extent of their boredom.You can make up exciting games with rules. It is not true that partner's don't play by the rules.They do as long as they're the ones who makes them up.There are seven cardinal ones, and that is use force,confuse,cheat,lie,double cross,sulk and ignore.

Our partner are notoriously bad losers.Is that familar? Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as us (kununnya) grates their ego and sensibility.The only plausible explanation they can think of is that they have actually been outcheated - a thought that makes losing an even more traumatic experience.Should our partner lose, he/she is likely to remove themselves from the scene and head for the bedroom.In there, they will probably think about the insult (in their head) they have been made to suffer, and then sulk.We often want to know: should we try reasoning with my depressed partner? Hug them maybe? Give them hope? Kiss and tell them all is not lost? Ask for forgiveness? Sex? The answer is, that it all depends on their mood and temper.They may want to be left alone for a while - a day or two (lama lagi bagussss) will do it, for them to sort things out in their head.Remember this, if your partner doesn't laugh at your joke, try again.You'll get better with practise.Explain the rules to your partner and then, follow theirs.Don't insist on winning, that will them them into loser.Remember that they are not there to entertain you.You are there to entertain them.

You must never scold,nag,insult your partner - especially when they can hear.If must, lock yourself in the bathroom and do it there or get out of the house and mumble to yourself.The key to success is patience,fortitude and positive reinforment.Show them that you care, loving expression like 'how was your day',or something even corny like, 'I really miss you at work today'...(mampos lah kau) or anything fancy will go a long way in maintaining communication with your partner.Massaging their back for 10 or more minutes is more effective than words alone; it shows that you are willing to make a physical effort to please them.If you find neither words nor deeds help you in establishing a good rapport, try appealing to their more basic senses. That means food.Spend time and invest money in search for good receipe book.Your partner will still ignore you, of course, but they will appreciate you and show their love for you by eating the food you prepare for them.Soon, you will see a visible result of your effort, a well rounded partner.Again, remember this, be nice to your partner.Living in partners resent too much control.Give them plenty of space,like the entire couch and the remote control.

Professional counselling can be expensive, especially if you both must undergo treatment.Therefore many of us will choose to psychoanalyse each other, without each other knowing and like me, blog it for people to read.This is not difficult as it sounds.Tranquillisers may come handy if you're the nervous type.To be successful in your analysis of your live in partner, you must first of all understand them.Ask yourself what makes them act they way they does?

There are two likely possibilities: you and the things you do and the food you serve.Having explored these two areas, you may then proceed to examine other more complex causes, a newly arrived baby or another partner.Maybe cat or dog.But I quite like to venture to another person.All brand new kan?

Stay with the therapy as long as necessary.You cannot expect to change deeply ingrained habits overnight.In good time you will begin to see some changes, if not in your partner, then in yourself.

My Friday The 13th

Flowers & Wreath outside the crematoriam

Lucy's plaque

The proof that I don't hate cat anymore...

I have been busy at work and the funeral preparation...well, bukanlah jadik funeral director or something relatively similar, but more to prepare my other clients,emotionally to say their final farewell to their friend.It is not an easy job, because masing-masing ni, bila tengok ramai orang (I tell you, funeral kat sini, macam party, except for the sombre faces) the reality of the passing tu tak lah masuk lagi dalam kepala, yang teruknya bila the aftermath, when they start asking, where is so and so? Masa ni lah (during the bereavement period) kerjaku akan membukit.

I never been to a funeral,not that I am a fan of one, anyway but going to a non-muslim funeral is something new.Sometimes ago, when I was in Malaysia, one of my Serani friend passed away and I wanted to go. Being very young, I have to ask father's permission to go. I still remember how he discouraged me gently,saying that it was a good gesture of me to think of going but however he was wary about what the other camp'ites (as in, as were living in Garrisson Camp that time, orang-orang duduk dalam camp ye, bukan camp rainbow-rainbow tu) might say, seeing a muslim girl like me, going to events like that. After that, the only funerals that I go to is of my closest families. Since I live here, I have been invited to 3 but only going to one, but how I come to that, is thinking (or so we thought) that is only a visit to remaining loved ones. This lady friend of MB kematian laki, and as the late husband is so fond of MB and the wife being MB closest friend, we went to her house to comfort this friend of MB. Tahu-tahu, ada coffin pulak dalam rumah tu...and dalam coffin tu ada :-

a) A fully dressed body, a man in nice suit and neck tie, lifeless.
b) His hair is set nicely with a face touched ups.
c) Cards, flowers and some little gift from the loved ones.

Dengan rasa hati yang nak pecah, we walked into MB's friend living room and say our goodbye to Martin (aduhh..tersedak orang ittew...panjanglah umur dia) We mingle around a bit and sedekah duit (bangang betul masa ni, tak tahu nak buat apa). We told Mary, the wife, that our culture is to sedekah duit kat keluarga orang mati, and not knowing what are theirs, we decided that giving her money was acceptable.On our way back home (jalan kaki masa tu, MB masa ni mana ada kereta lagi) we were both agreed that we just witnessed a dracula type of human presentation (I'm so sorry if I offend anyone) Ye lah..muka putih, baju cantik...baring dalam coffin...tak macam Count D ke?

Dengan ketakutan yang amat sangat, we both jumped into shower and dengan rasa tak malu, mandilah bersama-sama, dek takutnya terbawak hantu balik. I will always remember my mother cakap, lepas balik dari tengok orang mati, jangan lupa mandi basuh rambut, and that is what we did. Whatever we were wearing that day, habis dibasuh sekali. Masa tu pulak winter, habislah my jacket winter basah lencun.

Yesterday morning, while I tengah gosok baju and skirt (cehh..pakai skirt) in my flat hallway, I smelt something unusually wangi.Because there is only 3 of us in the house, I recognised who using what...MB2 ada perfume dia sendiri, and MB as usual, beli tak mau but will pakai my things sesuka hati makbapak dia. I know the smell is not familiar and it smells something like a body spray or not, hair spray. I pun tanyalah MB1, dia pun ada bau jugak. Last-last, I baru ingat yang that would have been the hair spray that is used to worn by Lucy, the deceased. Well, honestly, I believe in this thing were the departed soul can come and visit you. So, I believed that si deceased ni, semalam pagi ada tresspassed rumah I. I decided not to mandi because after the funeral, I akan mandilah puas-puas. Lagipun, I ada dating dengan someone yang ada asam-asam untuk I that evening, so, malaslah nak mandi 2,3 kali dalam sehari. After getting dressed, I jalanlah sekejap pergi local florist nak beli bunga and on the way back to our flat, I passed this funeral director's shop and terserempaklah pulak dengan pakcik-pakcik yang tengah menolak keranda masuk dalam tempat diorang tu. Haiyooo....

Sampai aje rumah, I told both MB's what I saw and said how I really have to mandi after funeral as I have seen dead people twice today. MB2 dengan pandainya cakaplah, after you had shower, do a bit of praying and you'll be fine. Pecah lobang I penakut naaa...

Lucy's funeral service was held in a church in Richmond. I sat there in the bench not knowing what to expect as the priests was doing their bits that includes minum wine and berasap-asap. Ingat melayu aje ke pakai kemenyan? Hah..I saw some people kneeling and repeat after priest. After that, the pallbearers stands up and shouldered the coffin out. Selalunya, pallbearer ni terdiri dari the deceased punya family lah, either father, brother or uncles. As the coffin passes by me, I look up and whisper goodbye and adjourned to another service at the crematoriam. Masa kat crematoriam ni lah, all families and friends will say nicest things about the deceased and said their goodbye's while the deceased favourite musics is played. Masa nilah rasa nak nangis. It was sad. Masa orang tengah berfeeling-feeling syahdu tu, keluar lah pulak lagu 'Brown Girl In The Ring'....??????

What I like was the united (god knows if it just a front) of the parents. They both divorced but after the service, they walked together hand in hand leaving the service to the floral tributes area. The new set of spouse takde pun nak jealous jealous...I would imagine if orang melayu, Exes selalunya nak contact the previouses pun main sorok-sorok...takut kena cakar dengan yang brand new...hish...sempat lagi nak mengata ni...MB2 told me that it would have been a catholic service kalau ada makan roti minum wine bagai tu...plus the asap-asap.Ohh..taktau pulak lah I.Kan ke banyak mazhab kat sini..dengan Church Of England nya, baptist nya, Lutheran nya...Jehovah Witnesses nya...

But, it has been a nice service. We said our goodbyes and catched up with some old friends. My day gets better dengan penerimaan asam yang berplastik-plastik that make my day ittew, yummeh !!!!! Thanks Makcik Kiah.I lap yu.I have now provided you with a proof that aku tak lagi termasuk dalam set-set yang suka torture kucing.Pueh hati???

Untuk Stephen

Dear Steve, if you are reading my blog,

Kamek nak madah timak kasih dengan kawan kamek si Stephen ya, kana kitak ngantar dengan kamek cerita sidak Wan Zaleha ya.Kamek rindok gilak dengan cerita ya...kamek suk gilak...

Kelak ada lagi cerita sidak ya, kitak akan molah lagi ka tuk kamek? Nya kacak gilak auk, walaupun nya dah tua. Orang laki ya, sik kacak.

Mun kitak datang London, kamek akan ngembak kitak makan Fish & Chip, kitak mauk ka?

Love,
Budak Berolah

Lands End

As were checking out, I saw this on the way to the breakfast bar. Terasa I, being the isteri durhaka that I am

We stopped here,kununnya untuk si Kareem melawat all this historical place, but truthfully, for me to kencing and for the MB's to hisrok

We come across a karting area where MB's & Kareem terus sexcited nak try on the go-karting.I opted to stay behind, malas kununnya, but also truthfully, aku takut kat anjing owner go-kart ni yang dok bersidai-sidai kat the track.Hawau laaa..

I tell you, driving along the hills gunung-ganag camni, rasa macam bawak kereta kat Monte Carlo pulak (elehh..cam lah pernah drive kat sana) It's so beautiful...especially for those yang dok kat back seat cam Mem-Mem besar

As per my request,the photographer put on the 'Kuala Lumpur' sign.The measurement as in miles, menunjukkan berapa jauhnya jarak to swim from here to KL, kalau tak mati dibaham jaws laaa..

The first light house in England

We all wake up relatively early, as we have to evacuate the hotel by 10am, hotel orang putih, bukan cam kat KL..adik..boleh akak check out lambat sikit...nothing like that.We had quite a big breakfast as we only had pot noodles the night before.At this point, we do not have any specific plan but I was eager to drive around as,since you're already here, jenjalanlah puas-puas kan? I was so determine nak visit Lands End.Nak tau why? My father, long-long time ago, during his Sandhurst days, has his photo taken by the famous signpost...and that photo sekarang ni, tersergam indah kat rumah dia.Sungguhlah bongkak.So, being his daughter, I inherited his competitiveness and I so want to be there.I keep talking about Lands End to the MB's yang tak pernahnya interested. MB1 nak tengok sangat St.Ives (the famous beach) and I said to her, let's just drive around and we can pass through that famous area.I was so keen that I opted to drive.Maka, after I settled the hotel bills and acquired bit bob of info about the road, terus kami pun blahlah dari hotel itu.

The journey was pleasant and dikelilingi bukit bukau ladang tah apa-apa.We choose to go to St.Ives first sebabnya, in the map,kalau ikutkan, St.Ives lah tempat yang kami akan lalu dulu.St.Ives is not far at all,padahal tengok peta macam jauh.Map kan kenkadang so deceiving..nak nak map nak gi kenduri kahwin.We arrived at this place call Hayle and si Kareem ternampak lah tempat go-kart.Desperate for a fag,the MB's wanted to stop and being a non-smoker, I was planning to makan ice cream.All 3 anak-beranak tu berpoya-poya ber go-kart while aku, ice cream pun tah kemana, dek takut kat anjing.It's cheap, for a 8 minutes lap, they only have to pay 4 pounds each.

We drove through Carbis Bay in St.Ives, of which is a big dissapoinment.Although cantik,jalan nya sungguhlah sempit like lubang burit (extreme nya) and packed with people yang separa dressed. MB1 terus put off and dengan kasarnya terus ordered me to drive out from there.As I drove, I saw this small signpost towards Lands End and dengan sukacitanya, teruslah ikut.I have to tell you, signpost kat England ni, semuanya lap kaki..very misleading.Cakap 7 miles tapi takdenya 7 miles.Jenuh jugak nak sampai Lands End.Jalan pun sempit, tepi bukit ber aroma kan taik kuda/lembu and kambing.We stopped at the old tin mine for MB's to hisrok, me to kenchh and Kareem to relax.We all ada jugak jumpa the signboard dok promote-promote Cornish Tea & Cream, yang kononnya famous ittew, tapi bila cari, tak ada pun.Satu penipuan besar sungguh.We passed by plenty small town yang nama ada Welsh influence ni.Masa ni, barulah MB2 nak tolong baca map (tapi..aku sungguh tak memerlukannya nyah) and we successfully arrived Land End yang famous itu.We had lunch (me, fish and chips gedabak again) and after look see,look see...we continue our journey back to London dengan kepuasan yang amat sangat. Must you asked who is behind the wheels? Yours truly laaa...

Disebabkan Hjh Eton dah muntah ijau dengan kebongkakan I, I'm happy to announce that this is the last bit of our trip.Enjoy the pics. To those yang sampai nak mimpi-mimpi basah nak tengok kejelitaan muka-muka we all, harap maklum, as per security reason (yelah..I kan ke employee NHS) maka, terpaksalah I camouflage muka I yang ala-ala Angelina Jolie hini. I am now gigih nak memutihkan semula kulit I yang gebu dan dah hitam legam dek panas matahari that day..ahaksss..

The Second Day

First Left - View from the top of Portreath Hills .

Third left & Fourth Right - View from the Portreath Beach & Kambing Berkawan Pose




Fifth Left & Sixth Right - Cafe along the Gwinthian Cliff & The Pub where I had my luscious F&C

The Rest Of The Pix - All The Scenic Route around Portreath & Gwinthian

I woke up surprisingly early...looking at what time I slept.The weather was cooling...and how I wish I live in here rather than Twickenham yang every 7 minutes bunyi kapal terbang landing tu.I tell you, masa MB1 balik Malaysia that day and when we (me and MB2) were supposed to pick her up from the airport, all I need to do for a queue for a right time to leave the house is by looking up at the air tunggu MAS flight lalu, and masa tu lah baru and start keluar rumah pun.Betapa dekatnya dengan airport.I don't know why am I so incline to choose to live at the pertempatan dekat dengan airport.Once upon a time I lived in Subang Jaya, and I never need an alarm clock until they all tu pakat-pakat pindah kat KLIA.Kesianlah orang Sepang pulak, kan?

Being a melayu that I am in England, I ran a bath and soaked in for about 40 minutes, merely to kill time as I can't go back to bed.

The MB's check on us see if dah bangun ke tidak and as always, I am the last one to siap, apa taknya, lepas mandi, masuk balik dalam selimut, pastu guling sini guling sana, apply this cream, that cream (hmmm...anti-wrinkle....maklum lah dah tua ni) All for of us had breakfast, as the babi is makanan ruji untuk orang-orang putih ni,the safer option is always a vegetarian breakfast and cereal (matilah..takde lontong,nasik lemak, roti canai bagai) suits all of us .Only Kareem yang makan vavi.Ye lah, kanak-kanak membesar,bukan ke memerlukan daging?

With the brief information from the reception lady yesterday, we decided to go to the nearest beach, Portreath.Kata that lady,if we walk, if will cost us 2 hours return.Dek kerana semuanya berfeeling debab, we thought that walking is the best option.We were quite appeal to the idea of renting a bicycle so that we can explore other places.We called the bicycle place and they want us to come over to them for measurement. We agreed on that might probably will not be the best/smart choice as satu kerja nak cari that place (dengan Tom Tom yang rosak), find a place to park MB1 car, although kat kampung ni, park lah kat mana-pun, and then to start cycling from the area that we are so unfamilar with.We asked the waiter again on how to go about,alih-alih dia cakap, Portreath tu, kalau ikut short cut, boleh sampai in 15 minutes aje.Wahhh...pandai-pandai aje pompuan semalam tu kata sejam pergi sejam balik.But to think of it, maybe, for her its 1 hour lah kot, considering dia pun dah tua and maybe jalan pun slow-slow.

At 9.30am, all 4 of us started walking, ikut jalan dalam hutan tu.One thing hutan kat England ni takde ular lidi,hijau,sawa,tedung,kuning-hitam or apa-apa species yang boleh menakutkan orang yang takut ular macam I ni.So, I bolehlah berjalan dengan lapang hati.We come across loads of nice scene, like kambing keluar mencari makan berkawan-kawan,little dam,horses and plantation area (not sure lah pulak diorang buat tanaman apa) Masa berjalan ni, I got the biggest scare, I thought I saw a lion you all...haiyoo...dalam hati, I thought all for of us akan matilah dibaham dek singa tu...mana lah nak lari.Dalam sekejapan tu,my head was picturing that all of us akan diterkam,dicakar,dimakan and dikoyak-koyakkan.Habislah...cemanalah my father nak tanam I nanti..dah koyak putus cam shredded paper. Tuh dia, aku punya sick imagination.I cakap kat MB2 I rasa I macam nampak singa and suruh they all tengok what is ahead of us.Rupa-rupanya, anjing yang species Lassie tu, yang bangsa rambut kembang The Supreme Diana Ross.I don't know lah orang Cornwall ni bagi anjing depa makan apa, sebab anjing they all tu debab-debab belaka.They laughed at me, while I took time to absorb my ketakutan.But I swear, that dog look like a lion.Tak tipu you all....

We arrived at Portreath beach yang cantik itu,shame that we all tak bawak swimming suit, 2 piece bikini or kain batik,maka takdelah dapat nak mandi manda (lagipun sejuk, siapa nak mandi laut sejuk-sejuk ni?) The beach was surrounded by hills and I was told that kat sinilah people can surf because the wave is quite high.While MB's ber romantik-romatikan as in jalan pegang-pegang tangan ditepi lautan, akulah yang kena supervised sibudak lasak ni.Main pasir lah, main percik air lah..memanjat lah...at one point, I bury him under the sand and being a strong boy that he is, boleh pulak dia bangkit dari kubur pasir dia tu.I suggested to all them tu panjat bukit of which semuanya agree.From below, the bukit nampak cantik sekali.

All 4 of us climb the hill, sakit nya bontot.I suddenly realised that I am so gayat and tried very hard not to pandang belakang. Well, you know lah when people say, ada tempat-tempat yang macam ada penunggu, and the penunggu boleh main tolak-tolak. We reach to the flat area and god, I can't go any further than that. We all bergolek gelantanglah atas bukit tu.All 3 of us yang heightphobia ni, tak berani nak tengok bawah from the cliff and masa ni, MB2 menjerit-jerit kat anak buah dia tu jangan pergi sampai hujung, takut jatuh.We saw the information board,suggesting a few more nice places within the walking distance, but the MB's are not the sort of people who will go for the exploration tapak menapak camni.Dengar aje kena jalan 6 miles, terus tak nak.After spending 1/2 hour on the hill, kami pun turunlah dengan takutnya and decided to makan Ice Cream.The Ice Cream is so gedabak and sungguh murs-murs.We also stop at the nearest pub for lunch and guess what, food for all 4 of us only cost less than 25 pounds, portion gila babi besar lak tu.I ordered Fish & Chips and I am certain that they served me a bapak ikan. Siap side salad and chips yang membukit. Masa melantak ni lah, I can't stop thinking about that Chinese Restaurant yang charge gila-gila tu.Hishh..rasa nak mintak balik aje duit I.

After lunch, we all walked back to the hotel.Nak lepak...perlu diingatkan. idea nak lepak-lepak ni, bukanlah idea I, tapi idea-idea Mak Badak ni.Pemalas sungguh! After few hours (perlu bertindak tangkas ni, kalau tak MB's ni boleh terus tidur) I hangkut jugak they all bawak jalan-jalan.Dengan tak tahu mana nak pergi and without a proper map,I gagahlah jugak driving around, dengan harapan akan jumpa spot-spot yang cantik.We drove around small town and passes by some scenic route. One of my friend suggested that I go to Gwinthian.Tanpa bantuan and moral support dari penumpang-penumpang kereta yang pemalas ni, I drive lah cari Gwinthian ni sensorang while the MB's dok belakang macam mem-mem besar.Dek cantik nya pemandangan, I hampir nak langgar this car, but that woman only shake her head at me and I raised my hand as my mean of saying sorry.We finally found Gwinthian.Cantik tempat ni.I never knew there's a sea behind all this hill.Macam Robinson Crusoe.The photo taken is the proof...one being the beauty of the scene and second, the proof of my gayatness.

But, I was very pleased with myself, walaupun takde sokongan moral, dapat jugak I cari tempat-tempat cantik ni.That make me realise that if ever lah I nak pergi exploration kat mana-mana ke, mesti nak cari member yang satu kepala yang sanggup meredah hutan belantara.Don't ever cari travelling partner yang macam kerbau balau.What they do is makan,tidur,makan tidur pastu, hisrok!!! But still, it was fun.

Again, till the next posting.

Holiday & Holiday

The Aviary Court Hotel & Kareem Trying Out The Old Water Pump

Nilah Dia Kucing Debab Yang Menjadi Punca Pergaduhan and the entrance of the hotel

Kepada pengikut fanatik Pertubuhan Al-Hjh Esah, disini ingin Makji mengompang kat you all yang Makji dah selamat kembalian dari menunaikan tanggungjawab yakni verchotti-chottian sempena Easter Holiday yang mulia ini.Easter season yang mulia ni started from last Sunday yang dipanggil Palm Sunday pasalnya, in the bible written that the Jesus return to Jerusalem dan kepulangannya yang glamour itu disambut meriahs dengan pokok kelapa sawit (I would have thought, ni pokok palm yang ala-ala palm springs tu, bukannya palm tree yang popular sebagai habitat ular tedung yang ganas itu). The holiday started last Friday, hari Jesus di crucified...and ended on Sunday, yang juga dipanggil Easter Sunday.As a tradition, masa nilah, orang-orang kat sini mendistribute Easter Egg (nama je Easter Egg, tapi semuanya chocolate yang mendebabkan) I asked F kenapa Easter Egg? Katanya, it signifies the beginning of a life...and egg is it.Maka, saya sebagai penduduk tetap negara ER ni, terpaksalah berkorban duit pound bersama-sama berpusu-pusu membeli Easter Egg dan dibahagi-bahagikan kepada kawan-kawan sahabat handai dan taulan (betul ke BM ni?)

We were planning to go on a break to the West area (also known to the English as a West Country) for a while, but taking into consideration yang MB 2 ni cuti ikut school holiday, maka, nak buat plan pun, kenalah tunggu dia cuti.Tu lah yang tak syoknya...pasalnya, masa school holiday nilah, ramainya kekanak puaka yang juga bercuti ikut mak bapak diorang.As usual, sebab I nak tergedik-gedik nak ikut Mak Badaks gi jalan-jalan, I pun kenalah karang cerita tipu kat F, kononnya I pergi kerja dengan client.Bukan apa you all, F tu susah sikit nak dibawak berbincang especially when anything to do with joint activity bersama Mak Badaks.But I always tell myself that, I bukan buat benda-benda jahat yakni pergi menyundal belakang dia...I gi holiday aje.So,tak tipu, tak dapat pergi lah kan? So, tipu lah....

We started our journey on the road as early as 8am, nak beat traffic kononnya.MB 1, offered to drive all through the motorway and MB 2 pulak will drive through the A road (also known as jalan kampung) We were so confident and were chatting away along the M3 and tetiba, I terperasan yang we have passed the exit that will lead us to the South West.Disebabkan confident gila-gila tadi, all of us was not even thinking of using the Sattelite Navigation (Tom Tom). I terus suruh MB2 (yang menjadik co-pilot) switch on the Tom Tom, picit punya picit, tak nak on, picit lagi..pun tak nyala. We connect it to the car charger and yang keluarnya is only the light. We all thought mesti battery dah kaput kan? Tapi after a while, bila dia tak nak jugak on, I pun terus lah rasa semacam and dengan celuparnya suggest kat they all yang Tom-Tom tu dah kiok. MB2 muka terus jadik lain. I suggested that we stop at the nearest Welcome Break (kat Malaysia panggil R&R kan?) and get the AA map from the boot of the car (nasib baik ada, kalau takde...tak ke nak guling-guling nangis?) From that point, I suggest kat Mak Badaks to keep on going and as the most analytical one among the 3, (bongkak!!) I will read the map. Along the M3, we took the exit out to Southampton and just drive along ikut map tu.Masa tengah sibuk membaca peta ni, I heard my mobile beeping and tersedar yang mobile phone I tertinggal kat boot kereta masa I gi ambik map tadik.Haiyoo....

We stopped at Salisbury atas sebab-sebab nak terkencing yang amat sangat and for those MB's to have a fag.The area is very the kampung,but you know lah, how kampung can England countryside get...the public toilet is clean and siap ada soap dispenser dengan hot air lagi.I pick up my mobile from the back of the car and retrieve the message yang datangnya dari Hjh Haleemah. Hjh Haleemah dalam message nya itu mengatakan yang M5 (motorway dari north nak ke south) ditutup and when I call and spoke to him in person, Hjh Haleemah bagitau I yang kereta yang nak masuk ke Cornwall dah beratur 4 jam since siang tadi.Ceh...mu duduklah tunggu ferry diam-diam....but, thanks for the info...pasalnya, memang I plan nak ikut M5 from Wiltshire tapi bila dengar queue yang panjang tu...tak jadilah nak ikut,but I can't help to get anxious, maklumlah, kami ni travel dengan budak kecik (MB2 bawak sekali anak buah dia) yang you know lah bila berjalan dengan budak kecik ni, their favourite question is always 'Bila nak sampai?'.

Disebabkan dah salah-salah jalan tu,the travel time that was suppose to be 5 hours jadik 8 hours and all 3 of us take turns to drive.We stop at Exeter for lunch in between the drive. MB1 resigned from driving at Okehampton...I took over from Okehampton to Redruth and MB2 from Redruth to Illogan.Sungguh tak adil kerana dia drive tak sampai pun 1/2 jam.But, she helped a lot in communicating with the Cornish people yang tak paham accent orang luar macam I and MB1 ni.

We checked in and I tidur satu bilik dengan MB2 punya nephew yang dengar khabarnya kuat kentut itu.Memang pun, kentut mengalahkan gajah.We decided to rest and plan nak keluar for dinner.MB1 masuk my room nak terus bergossip kononnya dia telah bergaduh dengan MB2.Nak tau pasal apa? Bila kami check in, adalah sekor kucing yang fluffy ni dok catwalk-catwalk tengok kitorang angkat beg bagai, so MB1 dengan kurang social skills nya terus cakap kat MB2 yang tersoksek-soksek hayfever tu, yang kucing tu debab macam dia.MB2 terus sentapz yang balas balik, kau ingat kau tu kurus sangat ke....so on so on..dan sambung lagi gaduh dalam bilik.Semuanya gara-gara kucing !! I tell you, omputih-omputih ni kenkadang tak boleh langsung nak dibawak bergurau.Harus bercerai berai kalau salah cakap.Tapi, kalau depa orang yang sarcastic mengalahkan Graham Norton tu takpe pulak?

We all gi lah have dinner kat one Chinese Restaurant yang situated ditengah-tengah hutan ni.We were asked if we have reservation, I terus pandang MB1, sambil cakap melayu 'tempat dalam hutan pun tanya reservation? Glamour sangat ke?'. In the end, all 4 of us were given a table with condition yang kitorang kena blah by 8pm.We thought, who would want to stay that long? We ordered our bit and after 15 minutes, the foods arrived.I asked for chilli and I perasan amoi ni cakap, do you want the oil chilli or the chilli padi? I pun tanyalah dia, do you call that green chilli 'chilli padi' here? Dia pun cakaplah, dia tak tau apa English panggil that chilli. I told her that people in my country called it chilli padi, and mulalah dia tanya we all ni dari mana. Hah..ambik..budak Assunta rupa-rupanya and from Damansara Jaya. Macam mana dia boleh ada kat tempat ni, tuhan ajelah yang tahu.Ikut boyfriend katanya, but she told us that she is not happy, and tanya I dengan MB if we can find her work in London.Haiyoo...kami belum makan pun...Well, I have to say that dining in there was an unpleasant experience.Dah le food tak sedap and not worth to pay almost 50 pounds for that.Dah, jangan pergi lagi.

After dinner, we went back to the hotel and lepak-lepak tengok AmericanIdol.Nak tidur awal ni pasalnya besok nak jalan kaki to the nearest beach and we also have to be at the dining hall by 8.30 for breakfast, kalau tak...tak de breakfast.Dah bayar 37.50 pounds sorang, tak kan tak nak makan pulak kan? We all settled to bed by 10.30pm, where me and Kareem (anak buah MB2) dok tengok TV sampai pukul 1.30 am. Sibudak bertuah ni, pi cakap kat I yang toilet kitorang ada hantu, maka aku pun naik takut and cakap kat MB1 if I can use her bathroom to gosok gigi.Terus MB2 datang marching to our room, marah anak buah dia because dia takutkan I. Rupanya weird sound yang disangka hantu tu ialah bunyi water pressure dalam boiler.Sialan kan?

Till next posting....

The End Of An Era?

Well, ada yang menanya, regularnya you update your blog...well, if I may give advise, here it is, jangan ditegur...because for all you know, I might be back to my usual life of a recluse.Either way, take this (my kerajinan berhemah) as a hint kepada yang malas-malas tu, sudah-sudahlah nak gunakan alasan sibuk dengan anak, laki and kucing.When there's a want, there's a will!!! Or, dimana Dunkin' Doughnut, disitulah letaknya berkoyan-koyan doughnuts...kan?

I'm so pleased that I am now finally resting my arse in my house, after the 27 hours stint kat tempat kerja.I'm so mentally tired I can merapu cam nak gila.This is similar to the drunkard, the drunken you get, the friendlier you will be.

In case you might wonder, I haven't reply that man email and after the chat with Kiah,my latest scandal,I no longer feel the need to.Thanks Kiah...I lap yu, sesungguhnya, aku dah nampak cahaya-cahaya kebenaran itu.Apasal aku tak nampak cahaya kebenaran tu 8 tahun dulu, tuhan sajalah yang tahu.Well,beginilah susahnya kalau kegatalan puk* mengatasi segala-galanya.Hah..hambik kau.

I was reminiscing on my way back home, on the top deck of the 267 bus.Got started thinking...what with this man...why was I so desperately in love with him to ignore ciri-ciri orang utan sepilok dia tu.Was I desperate? Probably yes.At 16 and gawky, male attention is like ayam in the tomyam, where if you ordered Tomyam from that SS15 stall, you're likely to see the 'sampah' more than the ayam.Begitulah perumpamaannya...,if any of you can stand up and tell me, berapa banyakkah jantan hensem kat MRSM nun? 1 dalam 150? If looks wasn't the important attributes, baik hati, penyayang,kelakar, murah hati, pandai main bola pun tak ramai.Yang ramainya ialah jantan sialan...yang kerjanya menulis surat nak berkenalan to all the girls.Break up hari ni, besok hantar surat nak kawan-kawan dengan pompuan lain, boleh?

The only thing that is appealing of this ex bf of mine is his determination nak mengorat I, 18 years ago...lama tu, kalau beranak, dah anak daralah anak I...he was a friend before upgrade jadi boyfriend.And so, everything is casual, termasuklah adegan dating-dating...from Malaysia to England and back to Malaysia again. I have all the reason under the sun to hate him.

I realised today that I can now casually refer him as an ex without a tinge of emotion, something that I haven't been able to do for a long,long time.Suddenly, I feel sad.I think I can now say goodbye and therefore, answering his email to kill my curiousity seems like a bad idea.I think,I am better of saying goodbye from my heart.Because every part of me have already let go of him, apart from hati ku yang berdegup-degup ni...

18 years was a long time, enough for him to made his choices and I, sadly wasn't the one. My life now (however gilababi pun) is what I want. Kiah said that relationship is a gamble.How very true. This man was very happy stringing me along. Yes, I love him, I love him so much that I can ever imagine, but, it was only me that said that. I said it to him, I said it to myself. He probably have said it more than twice but in the end, I wasn't good enough for him then and so what will be the difference now? It is two times too many to be led on like that. Never again.

Currently in here, some of the soapstars are leaving the soaps.I might be leaving my soap too. Boring kan...dok cerita pasal dia aje...


Sekian.

Reflecting Sheila

Sheila said 'Kau bangun setiap pagi 6 hari seminggu pergi kerja'...
I should respond - If I bangun mid afternoon, tak pasal-pasal kena pecat...but the good thing is, I don't work 6 days a week but somehow, my hours of work can cummulate equivalent to 8 days a week.Celaka betul kan?

Sheila said 'Tepat waktu pukul 5, hutan baja kau tempuh pulang rumah'
I should respond - First, I tak paham apakah itu hutan baja and second, I never have fixed hours to go home.Kira nya, habis kerja, balik lah.

Sheila said 'Malam minggu teman datang, pergi ke disco atau nonton midnight'...
I should respond - Hapa? Malam minggu teman datang? Siapa itu? My teman dah tak nak datang dah after their car kena saman that day. My malam minggu either if not at F's, main game sensorang kat rumah or if at F's, me in one corner, F in another...not speaking or in a good time, getting on well and having curry together. There is no such thing as pergi disco as I happened to associate dengan orang yang hidupnya sekarang ni langsung tak happening. Nak nonton midnight? In North London? You're joking...that place is full of the hooded thug yang berpisau bagai nak beroperasi tengah-tengah malam, menunggu in one corner nak merampok orang.Tak kuasa....Kak Kiah Kidman oiii...

Sheila said 'Esoknya kau siap lagi, roda hidup pun putar sekali lagi'
I should respond - Okay, okay...point taken.Duhhh

Sheila said 'Hidupmu kurang garam pengalaman perlu perubahan...tinggalkan semua,jalan-jalan ke Paris,Hong Kong,Tokyo,Las Vegas...Jangan sampai tua sebelum waktu nya'
I should respond - Not so sure about kurang garam..in blood? Technically? But possibly metaphorically...as in kurang asam. I perlu perubahan? Tell me about it...maybe plastic surgery bagi hidung mancung...38DD...brain surgery, boley? Bab tinggalkan semua tu, what do you mean? Tinggal kerja? Nak tinggalkan F? Dah cuba berkali-kali...balik jugak rumah orang tu.Chenta lah punya pasal.Hong Kong,Tokyo & Las Vegas tu jauh sangat, maybe Paris as it 2 hours je naik Eurostar.It's too late lah Sheila, I'm already mentally old.

I should really get a life.

P/s I'm still at work...23:47 hours.....

Angelina Jolie - The Seven Degrees Of Separation

Can you really believe that I have all this time to write a blog, amid my busy schedule as a UN Ambassador, Actress, A Mother and Brad Pitt partner? Well, I have a totally separate life from that, I live in West London, I work odd hours, I don't know Brad Pitt personally, I don't have kids, my father used to work for the UN, my mother is not French...and I am 2 years younger than my usual self. One of my ex husband live in London and we sometimes meet up for a quickie, although I must say, after I rampas my current beau from that JA, I'm very keen to show the world that I am a one man woman. I have also ceased any kind of sexual contact with my on off gf, Jenny Shimizu...although I quite fancy someone called Hajah Esah. I really hope one day we can meet for coffee....(teruskan merapu)

I started off as a runaway teenager. I'm a bit daredevil and like to do something that tak masuk akal like memanjat jambatan keretapi. I befriended this goody goody school girl and we all in one gang will hang out in this fleapit hole where some of us will emerged out as a piss head or snorting cocaine. I didn't do all that.I just played with my knife, having fun mutilating myself. My friendship with this goody girl become erratic and complicated as we were involved one incident that at first, was supposed to be a mission to balas dendam kat satu cikgu sekolah yang gatal ni. Things went wrong and I accidently tertembak cikgu ni. I have no choice but to run away....the only good thing that happened at this time is that I met that Calvin Klein androgyny model - I hardly get noticed for this stint...except from Hajah Esah. (Case Reference - Foxfire)

Getting tired of running, I arrived in Chicago and developed an interest in learning computer. I learned and learned and become so genius that I was involved in this mega mission. We were badly sought after by this IT criminal that is up no good. I met this guy, an Englishman, very very good looking and he is a computer genius too. Together, with our friends, we exposed this bad man. We crashed and burned. I married him and wear a leather outfit and scribbled my arm with his name using my blood. I don't really know what I was doing that time but I told the whole world that I love this man to death. ( Case Reference - Hackers)

Fed up with computer, I re invent myself as a supermodel. Gawd....I was so famous and wealthy that I keep spending money on drug. I fell in love with a make up artist and in the end asked me to make a choice, either she goes or the drug goes. She need to learn not to issue that kind of ultimatum to a junkie, because we never care about anything when we were drugging. The drug abuse has cost me my one and only love, my family, my career and in the end, my life...as I was diagnosed with HIV. (Case Reference - Gia)

I reincarnated as a mentally disturbed woman and live in a institution. I hated it and tried several time to escape. I annoyed everyone in there but however, I'm quite clever than the rest. I become close to this very petite girl that is also emotionally disturbed and together we escape again. We bunked in the flat belongs to this girl that likes to eat her dad's chicken. Not only that she likes his chicken, she also loves his sausage. I was so disgusted with her, I mentally brainwashed her that led her to hanged herself. I stole her money and make an escape, leaving this Winona Ryder behind. (Case Reference - Girl,Interrupted)

With the money I stole, I mengembara ke Arizona (pray tell if I get the location wrong), befriended some men and together, all of us make a living by stealing cars. We were so good that we can make them gone in a minute.Of course, we were working on target. (Case Reference - Gone In 60 Seconds)

Buhsan gila mencuri kereta, dah lah kerja takde National Insurance or EPF, I travelled again following my new husband. He landed a job as a air traffic controller. My husband is so laidback and good at what he does and was envied badly by his workmate. I was at this time, tak kurang jugak gatalnya, haven't a clue what I was doing, slept this man who is also married. Oh, I forgot to mentioned that my new husband ni, dah lah dah tua, tak hensem and we both thought it was cool to wear a vial of each others blood. I tattooed his name on my shoulder. Macam sial....our union didn't last that long...we decided to go separate ways after decided to adopt that rambut cacak cambodian boy. I also have to removed the tattoo. (Case Reference - Pushing Tin)

So what next? Wild girl dah, computer hackers dah, orang gila dah...I must now start looking for a decent career. So I decided to become a hitwoman...camouflaging my activity in a very nice enterprising business. Masa nilah, I jumpa Brad Pitt and I bekerja keras atas bawah nak rampok dia dari Jennifer Aniston tu...We were both pembunuh upahan and we were asked to kill ourselves. Sesudah ku rampok dia, we went and adopt this Somalian girl, having a natural baby together in that godforsaken country and now,adopt lagi from Cambodia. Banyak duit lah katakan... (Case Reference - Mr & Mrs Smith)

Well, I have to go to sleep now....busy day tomorrow.

Palm Sunday

I was busy bitching with my colleague about this married couple we mutually knew.They both have have everything we ever hope for, a good career, rumah cantik and besar, entertainment set yang besar gedabak and mengeluarkan sound system yang bunyi pun gedabak jugak. Not so much bitching about the wife yang baik hati tu, we discussed intensely about the hubby yang god knows why was he selected to be the 'hubby' in the first place. Talking about wise woman choice.Perangai buruk you all...

I don't usually do this m.e.n.g.u.m.p.a.t. full time (ye lah tu...) but I thought, after the news about Lucy, I really have to distract my thoughts elsewhere. Here the details of the bitching that took place today between 12noon to 3pm...This couple in question, both in their early forties with 3 kids, wife is very nice, nicest woman that you can ever imagine, high profile career, well respected in the community and came from a well heeled family. The husband, dah lah tak hensem, his social skills is to be rephrase as 'so SiaL', stingy, bad mannered, rude,obnoxious, imbecile and anything yang sewaktu dengannya. They apparently were married for over 10 years now and it is so obvious that who is bringing the bread home.

We suspect that the true breadwinner a.k.a. the wife is emotionally bullied and tortured by his acid tongue husband. He disrespect her, disrespect her family, disrespect her and disrespect her family.And he is quite happy to do that in the presence of an audience. Teruknya.

Me and this colleague of mine, kenkadang tu terperangkaplah jugak in their crossfire (his dragon saliva more like!) yang tak friendly itu but all the time, we just bit our tongue, somehow as I always said, marriage is about and between 2 people, we best keep our nose out. But one day, my colleague ni, agaknya terlampau selalu terperangkap in their crossfire, terus cakaplah dengan the wife....'I don't know why you are putting up with this...you're bringing all the money, you're holding this family together yourself, he is not even helping....blah blah blah..., nasib baiklah the wife tu tak kecik ati.

This suddenly brings back the question of bahawasanya, ada jugak orang dalam dunia ni yang suka dimanipulate dengan sehabis-habisnya.The manipulator and the manipulatee selalu nya are in somekind of indescribable partnership. I believe that somehow, the manipulatee is fully aware that he/she is being manipulated.Unconsciously, we agreed for everything for the sake of to keep the peace, jaga hati, chenta (ohhoooi..chenta lah lagi) and for whatever reason the manipulatee may have for giving in to the manipulator.

Not many people readily have the ability to manipulate. The gifted one can do it without even being notice and aware. I'm sure some of you yang dah bertitle parents experienced the manipulating experiment exhibited,expressed by your anak-anak yang terchenta tu. The child often feel triumphant after dapat membodek mak bapak memasing or to get away with what they want. I used to do it, being my father's favourite, I used it against his will to get things done my way (tak lah selalu..dirotan gak kenkadang) and to balas dendam terhadap my brother yang suka curi my clean socks and passed it of as his. I don't have any kids,and...I don't think I am fit to have one and to be a parent. There's a time my anak-anak buah...I have 6...2 I havent seen (since mereka tu diprocessed and diproduced after my last visit) and 4, a spiderman, a Thundercats, a Satria Baja Hitam (hapa ni?) and the taknakbercakaptapidokmenangisaje...The 4 are a good manipulator, they succeed in manipulating all their Uncles & Aunts, Grandparents and last but not least, their own parents.We all knew, but we didn't do anything. I believe part of the reason is to see how far the intelligence will take them.

My manipulator...manipulators...are all known to me.There is things that ought to be learn the hard way.Not sure what that is.But for sure, it will make you a better/lesser person. In a philosophical way of explaination, all of us are lead by our ego strength.We all have our weaknesses,and by continuing to build up your strength is to exhaust all your weaknesses. I made bad choices over the years and I still does, but I'm sure one day, I will see why, learn more and make some sense out of my willing stupidity and rise up.That day will be the day that complete my perfection.Bila? Tak tahu lah....