Mari Belajar Memasak

Konsepnya, Malaysian Kitchen. Kira nak ajar orang2 luar dari Malaysia about the 'beauty' of our cuisine lah ni.

But....tengoklah apa yang diorang ajar uols.

I yang tak pandai masak ni boleh masak benda2 ni dgn tutup mata aja.

Ohhhh....ini ajekah kepandaian Malaysia yang dipamerkan kat Pusat Olympic London ini?

I facepalm....


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The Snobintelligent in Malaysia

Source, Facebook and Twitter.

Tah hapa masalahnya, my posting about certain Makcik Wok who works in HR telah hilang and I have been crazy busy to re post it again. But I will soon, since I am so determine to out this stupid woman. Gigih ni...tak baik kan, sepatutnya....but I have good reason you all. Damn good reason. So tunggulah ye, Makcik Wok.

2 hari lepas sesudah bertikam lidah dgn seseorang, maka mood I pun menjadi pelik yakni, yelah...selalunya bila I baca Tweet orang ataupun FB status orang yang bunyik nya macam shial, I will just readily ignore. But 2 days ago...hati dan perasaanku telah mengeluarkan asap bak background lagu Noorkumarisini.

Okay, bolehkah I memberi pendapat I yang bernilai 50 sen ini yang bahawasanya I rasa bebudak muda yang kononnya pandailah sikit above average, by this I mean...ye lah when I say 'pandai' tak semua orang pandai. Ni set2 yang kiranya belajar pun pandai, pengetahuan am pun tinggi. Yang average lain, pandai setakat pass periksa saja but if you ask about masalah semasa dunia or hal politik that doesn't include janji ditepati, dia tak reti. Okay, back to budak pandai above average ni. Set-set yang tak pernah keluar gobok, tetiba dapat peluang pergi oversea hatta ke Singapore sekalipun buat MA ke MSc or PHD...duduk luar Malaya dalam setahun setengah or more and bila balik Malaysia, lantas mengondem orang aje kerja nya.

When I say condemn...(sebab I pun sama gak kuat mengondem but trust me, most times I really try not to get personal sebab I pun lahir,sekolah dan beribu bapak dan ber adik beradikkan orang Malaysia jua) this above average individual telah mengondem ala-ala berani mati like

1. The ABC customer service is such a dumbass. I must say Malaysian education is the best (sarccy lah konon kannnn?)

2. Ohhh boy, can't even have a intelligent discussion at work today, all my colleague seems to have interest about is other person's life. Typical Malay/Malaysian

3. Walked past KLIA check in counter. Kena kacau dgn good for nothing custom people. Tak pernah tgk women in skirt, izzit? This is what happen when your head if full of shit and not education

4. Malaysian never failed to astound me...they're stupid as a post. This country's system really suck.

Ada banyak lagi uols...but let's just do 4 for now or else I will kill this person. Okay, she/he is more than one.

Okay, kesimpulan yang I nak buat kat sini is...I think some of our intelligent people is now on the verge of becoming snob. If they're not there (snobbyland) they might as well are on their way.

Come on lah...bergossip hal orang, cakap merapu-rapu when we at work bukan ke one way of de stressing? Memanglah tak membawa pekdah kan...ye lah, cerita siapa gaduh siapa, siapa suka lari dari rumah, siapa yang kejap nak cerai, kejap nak balik kat bini, kan ke no brainer tu? But it is fun to talk about and read. But will that make you less pandai and less of a good person? So what should we talk about on our lunch break? Antidepressant in modern ilnesses? Ye, berak keras lah sensorang.

Another point, just because kita dah merasalah kejap duduk over the sea and berpeluang lebih sikit nak belajar, adakah itu ticket untuk kita rasa kita bagus dari orang lain? Maka segala system kat Malaysia tu adalah bangang? Polis bangang, Custom bangang...etc?

I always count my blessing that in Malaysia I can still mintak tolong kat abang adik to let my excess baggage passed. That I can still 'slow talk' my way out of things.

Yes, if you are come across good systems or have got used to very good system, then you may find some of the old system adalah macam haram. But do you condemn Malaysia on the whole?

Okay, ceritanya...setelah banyak kali disajikan oleh status macam bagus pompuan melayu makan babi, pakai baju designer kononnya tapi ketiak tetap hangit (yes, now that I am angry, I will get personal and state your obvious) maka dua hari lepas, selepas membaca statusnya yang menceritakan perihal customer service bank ABC yang tak tahu mana letakknya negara Finland, maka dia pun kata, sistem pendidikan Malaysia adalah terbaik. Menyindir lah tu kan...just because that poor customer service fella tak tahu Finland tu oversea ke tidak, maka secara tak langsung, sipandai ni nak lah kata, tu lah...sistem pembelajaran Geography Malaysia adalah diparas bahaya.

So I pun jawab, ehh...I rasa, maybe itu masalah indiviual itu sendiri, bukan Sistem Pendidikan Malaysia. Ye lah, kalau dah orang tak pandai and tak nak menjadi pandai, perlukah kita menyalahkan cikgu Rokayyah dan Cikgu Jamilah yang mengandung saban tahun ittew? (ohh mahap Cikgu)  Pastu dia kata, budak Malaysia tak pandai adalah kerana parenting skills jua. This came from orang yang takde anak ye uols. Of course I differ kata you can't blame parenting either because I tahu parents yang bersungguh sungguh berhempas pulas memulas nak buat anak jadi orang.

Maka this friend of mine, but believe me after this dia boleh pergi mampus,terus menuduh I membuat assumption, nitpicky etc etc. Dia kata I lama sangat duduk oversea and I patut balik and experience day to day stupidity by Malaysia.

Tak ke I yang bangga jadi anak Malaysia ni rasa nak mencarut, uols?

Yang menambah shial to the max nya, she deleted my comment after the 1st one, of course this comment yang I bagi menghuraikan pendapat I dan menuding kearah siapakah yang sebenarnya yang defensive dan nitpicky. And she and her other 'intelligent' friends continue to laugh and ridiculed this poor customer service person.

Ohhh sakitnya hati I.

This got me thinking that some people yang kononnya dah ada exposure sikit always think that they can change the world. Wahh...cubalah kan? Cakap aje buat apa. You can state your unhappiness but it is down to mentality. If you ask me, your mentality is worse than the person you ridiculed. Yes, maybe it is a true facts that Malaysian, the majority don't go all out to enrich their knowledge hence don't even know where Finland is...but instead of poking fun, do something...buatlah library bergerak ke, kempen membaca ke...dah la library dan buku2 kat Malaysia tu mahal macam nak beli perodua kan?

Then another, how snobbish can you get when dealing with harmless fun? Orang suweeettt suweettt you bila you jalan tolak shopping trolley, orang buat small talk, mat2 rempit sengih2 tengok you. So, cantik sangat ke kau sampai orang tak boleh tengok? (Seriously, you stank. Your BO is disgusting. Your acne resembles the map of Indonesian Island) So the funny whistling menjatuhkan standard you ke?

I lagi suka orang suweet-suwwett kat I....ada lah jugak orang pandang kan, Kiah?  At least dalam umur sebegini, kita mampu menarik minat orang jantan, biaq la mat Rempit sekali pun.

Sorrylah ye, to me...orang macam ni...takde kelas! Kau belajar lah sampai Phd pun but if you can't accept the smallest imperfection in life, you are just nothing compare to the people you put down.

Bastards! Tak apalah, I doubt this person berpuasa, maka she can have my pahala puasa.

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Untuk Kiah

Selamat berpuasa sayangku. Gambar ini telah dirakamkan sewaktu adik ini malarikan diri dari cengkaman mu.

Sila klik gambar untuk effect 3D yang akan membagakkan lagi benda yang nampak kecik.

Sekian.

Day 5

Hari ini ialah hari puasa yang ke 5.

Tahukah anda yang pada hari pertama puasa Jemahat lepas, ropa nya hanya saya ajelah manusia yang berposa kat area banyak gagak di selatan London nun? Al kisahnya seorang mamat Jamaica yang berbinikan orang melayu Singgahporrah yang juga adalah driver kenderaan mobility orang cacat di pejabat saya telah bertanya bilakah saya start berpuasa? Saya cakap, today lah. Dia tanya, you ikut mesjid mana (trust me, you think orang Islam UK tak berpuak mcm kat Malaya tu?) I pun cakap, takdenya ngikut mesjid, government saya (Malaysian Hicom) kata posa dh start maka start lah saya berpuasa. Saya pun cakap lah, biasanya org Ilam kan berkonsep memandang ke Middle East gituh, so kalau Saudi Arabia tu start puasa hari sekian2, maka berpuasalah kita sekian2 hari.

Maka abang hensem ini pun memberi ceramah bahawasanya mesjid dia yang merupakan mesjid golongan Islam yang tak berasal dari tanah arab telah mengutuk perbuatan orang arab yang tak mengikut ajaran Quran. Yelah, katanya org Arab pakai teknik sains dan matematik dan tidak meneropong anak bulan seperti yang diajar dlm Islam. Brok brek brok brek...maka terasalah saya kan kebenarannya tapikan saya ni org Islam mcm kebanyakan orang Islam yang lain, menurut aje apa yang dibagitahu (tapi ni takdelah termasuk suruhan menyembah teko atupun pergi meletupkan diri)

Apaalah yang mampu saya katakan lagi...selain daripada tersengih-sengih aje kat abang hensem itu (ohhh saya musti berhati-hati bila tersengih...I might lead him on. My conduct can be seen as flirting)

Berpuasa diperantauan yang sudah saya lakukan sejak saya mula datang belajar di UK 20 tahun yang lalu, adakalanya agak seksa jua. Nak nak semenjak saya membuang alat pemproduce an vitamin didalam leher saya. Badan adalah lemah selemah lemahnya dicampur pulak dgn mada puasa yang panjang...tapi itu tidak langsung memupuk kesedaran orang yang gila kuasa yang sering bertanya, bila ko nak update!

Berdasarkan kata2 motivasi yang pernah digunakan oleh appa dikala saya mula berpuasa yang bahawasanya tidak kedengaran lagi orang boleh mati sebab berpuasa, setakat hari ni, walaupun semalam dan hari ini UK adalah panas dan tak sepanas Malaya, ibadah puasa adalah intact walaupun acapkali jugak nak terburai...

Menu berbuka saya tidaklah se grand orang yang pandai masak so kalau dapat makan mee goreng tu saya amat lah ber syukran jazillah ya Ustazah :)

Dipesbuk saya melihat betapa meriahnya menu berbuka puasa (bagi yg memasak dirumah dan bagi yang memasak menggunakan teknik sihir yakni menghidangkan bahan masakan yg dimasak oleh oleh org lain but di passed off as dia lah yang tunggang langgang memasak)

Ada juga yang berbuka puasa di hotel-hotel yang pada saya lah....100 hinggit? Ko sasau dah ke?

Dan of course kawan setazah saya yang dulu juga merupakan Ratu Disco Picadilly Damansara (ye...jaman 80an dedolu) tak habis mengeluarkan status hangit bahawa org Malaya sgt taksub nak bercerita hari ni buka apa dn dimana. Katanya kawan setazah saya ni, bukankah patut kita semua bercerita pasal amalan yang kita buat...lagi berpekdah. Katanya. Entahlah...orang yang mcm kawan setazah saya ni nampaknya mcm tak puas ati sokmo dgn keadaan sekeliling nya. But saya heranlah...klw dia gigih nak buat ibadat yang bertimpa2 di bulan Remdan ni, bukanke dia patut berpuasa dari pesbuk jua? Yelah, pesbuk kan boleh melalaikan dan juga boleh menjadi bahan sumber kutukan gituh.

Saya jua amat cemburukan kawan2 jantan saya yang mampu pergi ber tarawikh tanpa rasa takut. Yelah, nak ke mesjid yang 40 minit perjalanannya dan juga ditengah2 malam, maka pukul dua pagi lah sampai rumah. Tidaklah saya berani mengenangkan set2 yang naik bas lepas pukul 10malam tu adalah set-set mabuk takpun set-set hangus yang hobinya main pisau.

Sudah 13 tahun saya tidak bersembahyang terawikh. Saya rasa kekurangan lah sangat. Isk....

Selamat berpuasa ye uolsss. :)



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If You Psycho And You Know It, Call Your Friend....

We always want things we can't get...kan?

Let's not talk material here..sebab kalau kita tak cukup duit nak beli henbeg yang sama mahal dengan kereta (UK standard) kita boleh menganggap laki kita tu jelmaan ATM yang tak putus2 duit nya. Some women had it easy I tell you. Walaupun mereka kata mereka tak bahagia kerana kurangnya centa dan kasih sayang...benda lain takpayah di top up pun akan senantiasa ada saja.

Longing for someone you can't get can become overwhelming juga. It can be a dreadfully painful state of mind and body. When the unattainable person starts to occupy your thoughts, dominates your dreams and causes an aching.

Begitu sekali? I always say, best thing is not to think about it. To not think about it you must have something good to do to take your mind of it. But when the loneliness kicks in, maka the dream about that person akan datang jua.

People always say they know what they want....and this is before they get what they want. Most of us just go along with what we have. At some point, we can't choose or make choices, so apa yang datang, as long as it is not bad, kita ambik.

Trust that I suka cakap meraban-raban kann? Onto the subject of we can't always get what we want, I want to talk about that desperate jantan. Hehehe...of course jantan takkan mengaku dia desperate lah, but action can interprets. Okay....JT actually called up to apologise disamping mengucapkan selamat berpuasa kat I. Sebab masa dia call you I memang ber mood yang agak baik, disamping berpuasa hari kedua, I pun cakap lah...well, I am sorry too because my words are harsh. Of course jantan, kalau mintak maaf dgn kita, rule of thumb nya, usahlah kita memandai nak counter mintak mahap juga because that will automatically give them the ammunition not to focus on their fault but straightaway to yours now. Of course sebagai seorang yang sudah banyak pengalaman dgn orang yang berperangai cenggini, he will not a chance to reap his benefit with my sorry admission.

Maka terperanjatlah oleh nya betapa express nya I nak blah from the conversation because dia barulah (I rasa lah) nak start ber friendly-friendly balik.

I can be direct when I want to and when I have to. I tell you, orang kata...kalau kita dapat exposure budaya2 luar dari budaya kita maka kita akan terikut-ikut budaya luar itu. Salah lah sangat. You can be so well traveled, belajar sampai PHD segala...but if you think beating up the bush gives you more chances of getting your point across or achieving result and still thinks that is (the cakap pusing2) okay, maka that is how you like yourself to be. Cakap pusing2.

I certainly get this from my Appa yang I secretly think mempunyai simptom Asperger..sebab kalau dia nak cakap apa, dia cakap saja. But of course lah he is better than most cases I come across.

So I told him that what I think of him and I think, apart from occasional hello,  there's really no point of keeping in touch. Would you, kalau orang tu akan senantiasa salah membaca radar nya.I was very upset of his accusation, yang aku kononnya telah menggoda dia...okay, upset is understatement, but goda? Honest truth, for the life of me I don't think I ever goda anyone. I was actually offended. Goda2 is not me. I don't do first move. If my action interprets aksi godaan melampau maka I like to think those yang rasa tergoda tu adalah sex maniac yang boleh tergoda even if you sneeze in front of him.

JT said that I should have been direct with him (have I not already?) and not letting him building up hope. Of course ku jawab dgn senang hati yang..tah bila lah masa nya I tahu yang dia sedang membina harapan..and for an engineer, he should have known that membina harapan atau bangunan, kena ada foundation dulu, and I tanyalah, apa dan mana foundation nya and do I know about this foundation? He said that maybe..maybe he misread my attentiveness (hello, I am a Social Worker) and assumed that two single person together and then there shouldn't be anything stopping. Jantan kan?

Then I told JT that I am actually seeing someone for the last 2 years...walaupun pada hakikat nya, hubungan I dengan manusia berdarah sejuk itu adakalanya bak telur yang baru dibeli tapi diletakkan kat boot kereta. Bila2 masa aje boleh tergolek keluar kotak dan pecah. Maka agak marahlah jantan itu katanya aksi-aksi I adalah sangat deceitful (seriously, I don't know why he bother...dah la tuduh I cockteaser and now deceit pulak?)

JT dengan bangga nya menuduh I made my 'seeing someone' up and mengeluarkan fakta2 bahawasanya he can't understand women at all. Like when there's one good and available and willing, and women itself is looking for jalan susah. 

Oh yes, I let him talk and talk...in between talk, he provokes my thoughts jugak lah adanya but I buat tak tahu saja and buat statement selamat, well if you think that it is, then it is. What more can I say?

But I don't know if his action flatter me....ye lah, obvious memang tujuannya nak kat I...tapi sebab dah tak dapat, he then come out with so many points that is so pointless to me. Ye lah..we were not in a relationship and I can understand if one want to try and save one and put his reasons across on why we should try and try.

But we are not. He obviously on a rebound and I just happen to be there.

When he asked dengan bongkak nya, what have I got to say for myself, I just cakap..nothing. I don't see any point in this conversation at all. 

Pastu Kiah, dia kata..well, I hope you're happy...katanya. Pun I tak paham.

But I know for sure, he is all women should avoid. Psycho!

Selamat Berpuasa

Nota dahi...entry ini dipublished agak lambat. Mahapkan saya.

Besok UK dan kawasan yang sewaktu dgn nya adalah di isytiharkan berpuasa. I pun baru dapat tahu malam ni...nasib baik Org Bristol dah kompang. Kalau tak....orang dah nak raya, I masih tanya..eh, bila posa eh? Uhh...memang I sangat over.

Sebagai seorang Muslim diperantauan (sambil ikat tudung bawal) and contrary to mulut-mulut biawak yang kata I ni kaki tonggang, Ramadhan is something that I take seriously. Dalam sakit2...ye, memang I ni ada komplikasi dalam perut sikit, I will puasa. Dan of course la, sekarang ni Ramadhan jatuh time Summer yang tak berapa nak Summer ni, so masa berpuasanya adalah agak lama dicampur dengan dugaan2 lenlain, tak mudah sebenarnya.

Adakalanya, puasa I terburai jua. Kadang2 tu bila I rasa nak terpitam dan demi keselamatan diri (untuk mengelakkan jatuh berdebup dalam bas atau train) maka puasa itu terpaksa dibuka.

Kalau datang bulan tu lain lah kannn....memang takleh puasa. Tapi sebenarnya, macam puasa jua, sebab I ni idoklah nak pergi menjamu selera macam lembu. Ye lah...cuti datang bulan ni paling lama pun seminggu aje, so kalau dah dibiasakan makan sesedap jiwa, masa merasalah nak berperiod sampai raya, kan? Cisss!

Adakalanya, puasa terburai atas sebab2 duniawi. Part ni I paling teruk dikritik. Eleh...yang tukang kritik tu punnn. Suffice say, I kan duduk kandang kambing. Kambing2 ni pulak tak puasa. Dalam tak puasa pun, kambing2 ni sangat menjaga perasaan I. Adalah sekali I dipanggil masuk meeting bulan puasa...lepas meeting tu, Boss telah membook tempat makan, lantas I kata, I takleh join sebab saya puasa. Bila kambing2 tu I puasa, maka mereka semua taknak makan sebab takut melukakan perasaan I. I pulak masa tu takdelah nak berfeeling2 muslimah sejati kann...so I kata, takpelah, I ikut sekali...nanti I ganti lah. Dalam hati I, tak apa, Allah faham. Hiks...

Dalam opis I tu, walaupun ada juga puak2 Muslim, rasanya I sorang aje yang puasa. Si Puak2 yang kononnya set2 fisabilillah tu (ask them about middle east crisis, fuhhh....terserlah ciri kefanatikan mereka) but benda yang vital macam puasa and sembahyang, tak pernah pulak I nampak masing2 buat.

Takpelah...maybe jantan2 tu takde kekuatan fizikal untuk berpuasa.

Sempena bulan puasa ni, I harap agar dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik dan hati yang tenang. I was tad sad about something but bak nasihat kawan2, biarlah dan jadikanlah apa yang berlaku tu satu pengajaran. I hope that I meet new friends yang boleh menghargai apa I buat utk mereka or just, lepas ni, jangan harap lah I nak buat favour untuk orang.

So, seperti biasa, the matlamat nya is not to menambah dosa kering dibulan Ramadhan ni....but kita kan hanya merancang...buatnya something cross my path, good enough for a story...maka terjadilah bahan membuat pendapat jahat, kan?

I lap yu....Kiah.





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Update Bergambar Yang Macam Haram

I think the dumbness has stopped with Puan Sue yang kemut lagi ketat.

Here come another husband yang sudah melekat kat bini nya yang sendat.

The lipstick mark is not appealing either.

Siapalah copywriter advertising company ni ye?

Update

This was published late and I know it. So, Kiah..jangan komplen.

If you ask me now what do I want, I will say that I would like everyone to be happy.

I would like people to return the same favour to me, in principal...similar to the effort that I had with them. No, it is a very very fat chance with this one...sebab majority orang, memang sukanya mengambil kesempatan. Maybe they don't realised that they have taken advantage but they certainly not nice enough to return the same favour.

I would like if the person I love would love me back the same amount I give. But, manusia ni hatinya lain-lain. I am not at all suggesting that this person is a bad person for showing, sometimes zilch feelings. No. I in return, should not have given so much. Because when you give so much, you will expect so much.

But I do like to know how people can live with themselves knowing that

- they have upset another person a great deal

- they happily living in the centre of this universe where everything have to revolve around them, hence they will justify apa saja perangai tak semenggah yang dibuat nya

Then of course, my curiousity lies with the oblivios one. They talked about themselves...ye lah..the good things...all the times. Seeking all the attention the want but the real picture show deep unhappiness.

Is it so important that people know how we feel? Where is your own consolation space in this?

Hmmm.

Aku Pun Update Jua...

Okay, the moment 'orang tu' telah menghapdate blog nya, maka the pressure (elehhh hei) is on me. I think penyakit cyber bully yang dimulakan oleh 'orang tu' telah merebak ke Bristol, yang gamaknya sudah pandai menyindir-nyindir secara halus dan kasar...or, is this what PHD do to you? Incapable of restraining your evil thoughts?

Walaupun tak buat PHD, I juga sangat busy, hokay? What worse after some item got extracted from my body, badan menjadi lemah dengan cepatnya. I left work at 7 am, I got home at 8pm the earliest and ended face down sampai pukul 5 pagi. Maka Isyak adalah miss langsung!

Oh ya, kawan Ustazah FB I  telah mengeluarkan fatwa, bahawasanya kita adalah tak digalakkan tidur terlungkup. But I have been sleeping facedown since I can remember and of course lah tak mengikut mana-mana criteria nabi kita sapertimana yang di warwar oleh kawan setazah I tu.

Ohh then came this obsession nak mengikut Nabi sangat kann kengkawan I tu...nak je I menyampuk, tatau le pulak nabi (ohh ampun Ya Rasululllah!!!) kita hapdate status FB semedang dan membuat cupcake setiap minggu! But I perasan juga, dek nak ngikut sangat ajaran Ustaz AI tu, bila bab Ustaz tu suruh bagi laki kahwin lagi satu, idok lah kawan I ni nak publish nasihat Ustaz tu..(haaa..pandai lak kau pilih mana nak hikut kann?)

So yes, yesterday we have 'Imam Mahadi' dan pengikut blog nya pergi membuat amukan kat JPM Putrajaya sinun. So, a troop of armoured policeman and one emotionally disturbed man with Samurai. So dangerous ye that he had to be killed. Kesian I dengar.

Taser gun or ubat pelali tak dak ka? Apparently orang cenggitu dikira 'berbahaya' oleh police kita yang berpistol senapang bom tangan segala tu. Makna nya kalau I ada senapang auto, maka I kena takut dgn Mamat yang kurang stabil sikit emosi nya yang membawa parang.

Of course setelah kejadian itu, untuk menjustify tindakan polis menembak maka pergilah mintak pendapat Psychologist yang of course la akan cakap..ohh dia ni macam ni, macam ni. Sorry lah, the psychologist should have known better not to pass judgement like that, not before 'profiling' that man.

Then come, Raja Azmi's life after Jalani Sidek. Nak mencari chenta baru at her age. Talking about her divorce, as if she is doing Jalani's good for divorcing a 'bad wife' like her. What does that tell you? See, sebagai pompuan, kita patut respek dia...you know why? Because she knows what she wants, she gets what she wants and she is still, despite everything...is in control. Wouldn't you want to be her? She can 'tell' him to divorce her. Well, from what she said lah. We don't always have total control of ourselves. Kadang2 kita nak buat A, nobody can sttop us from doing A, but when we rethink..doing A might upset many people we care about. So for that, we let our situation 'control' us. Like those who had to depend financially on others. Tak suka..but apa boleh buat...nak duit orang tu, nak hidup selesa...maka tahan aje lah. You let your 'desire' for good things control you...takpelah..kalau tak happy pun. (Eeshh....can you tell me, siapa bini yang tak happy kalau dapat apa saja benda duniawi dibagi dek laki?)

Then the retis yang kononnya bergaduh dan nak saman menyaman. Then of course their president volunteered himself as the mediator. Such a small industry and they, the workers are so free. When they got bored, they argue. Tertekan sangatlah kena fitnah, kan? Sama tertekannya dengan Cikgu sekolah yang terpaksa menghadap anak2 iblis dengan gaji yang cipot dan sama stress nya dgn nurse2 yang underpaid but have to work 12 hours shift. So, the 'perpetrator' dah pun meminta maaf kepada 'victim' nya. Scripted. Tengok gambar tu muka ketat aje. Habis je terus buat statement, I want to put all this behind me and move on. Seriously, them retis must know the difference between buat fitnah, airing grouses and submitting opinion. Kata straight A's student. Kalau orang kata mulut kau macam lahar which probably may have been true, then...itu pendapat dia lah kann? Maybe sebab kau lahar dgn dia. Fitnah ke tu? Takyah lah nak saman menyaman just because kau kecik ati. If I remember correctly budaya saman-menyaman membawa bahagia ni di perkenalkan oleh Hajjah Azwana tu. Ye lah..dia nak lah tunjuk kat orang dia tahu law kannn, being a student once. But dah kau pun cakap terang2 kau syiok kat ZZ tu, and bila orang usik2, jangan lah marah pulak. Tak. Nak saman 100 juta.

Seriously, dah tahu benda2 camni bingai...ada jugak yang nak entertain, kan?

Mimpi Kejam (Lahh Sangattt)

I have recurring not so pleasant dream...lately. I am not sure if it is a pre warned message of not going ahead with I want to do...err, hal kecik lah actually but by doing it it actually means a lot to me and MC. (okay, aku menjawab bagi pihak dia)

Recent kejadian yang menyakitkan hati has left me....traumatised. Tu diahh..macam lah major problem (but in my case it was) but it tainted my feelings towards some people. But perasaan marah campur trauma tu terbawak lah pulak ke hal lain yang sama discipline nya. Yes, I may have told some people that I spoke to that I want to move forward from it. Move forward yes, forgiven and forgotten no. Every now and again I will think about it...just to remind myself, okay enough is enough. MB's words ringing true, orang bukannya macam you.

I don't want to talk about THAT dream. This one I had last night was a special one. Because it feels like it played long in my dream.

I was in the car with Siamang. His Vitarra car. The one yang dia beli masa dia baru dapat gaji plus duit2 yang banyak. I remember his words. This is OUR car. Padahal duit dia. Well, I tell you, when he wants to be sweet, he can be. Just not all the time. In that car jugaklah...first pulak I naik kereta tu, he told me he is getting maried.

Not a single years goes by that I didn't wonder why. I have asked him why. He never gave me straight answer. I know he wants too, but he is like MC. Don't want to hurt me (but they did!)

Everytime when I reminisce the good time, I cry. Until now. Because I can't believe betapa sampainya hati orang membuat I macam tu. Plus why would  one want to damage such a perfect relationship. Gilpren yang penyabar, tempat lap kaki iskk...iskkk. Kalau hidup ini perfect, takkan lah Nora Danish yang lawa tu kena cerai kannn? Tengah mengandung pulak tu! But I may have done bad things to another person and that's how I got my punishment. Entah lah.

Of course, even in my dream...I tetap gak lah nak menyelesaikan hutang lapuk I dengan dia dengan bertanya, kenapa you buat I macam tu etc etc. And of course mimpi itu didatangkan bukanlah nak melengkapkan puzzle ye Kiah...macam mana dia mengelat nak menjawab dimasa hidup nya, macam tu jugaklah dia mengelat bila dia dah di alam lain.

Living this long, I should have known better that...life is not a flat surface.

MC, in some sweetest moment can compliment how I never gave up on us albeit perangai puaka nya. Dalam hati nak aje cakap..tunggulah you belum tengok. I am so aware I am dating the most self centred person on earth, so I can die hoping orang tu akan berubah. Tak payah lah. The good thing is I'm not in a relationship that involves lies....well, not between us. I think there's a line between nasty and self centred. I will have no problem kalau dia nak berperangai macam tu seumur hidup nya. Idea of happiness nya is different, kan?

My idea of happiness is simple and cheap. Of course I sudah puas dijanji palsukan oleh macam2 benda..but in the end, elehh. I am not as lucky as some who disajikan macam2 benda oleh boipren/laki/partners etc. I am very much a Yuna in this one...ku hanya mampu jadi milik mu pasti kan kau bahagia....

Macam tu lah.

We Said We Don't, But We Do...

Semalam ada counselling session tak rasmi. Tak berbayar..walaupun dalam waktu berbayar. Colleague to colleague. Tidak digalakkan kan....tapi kalau orang nak bercakap dgn you, takkan you nak kata, podah pulak kannn?

Working with people can stresses you out to the highest heaven. If you are not in hell, you are might as well on your way to it. There's this policy about no abusive practise will be tolerated. Okay, bab ni...kalau kat Malaysia sinun, you tengok customer dalam bank or dalam jabatan gomen marah2, memang sikena marah tu patut dimarah. Kadang2 budi bahasa langsung tak ada orang bank and orang gomen kat Malaysia tu, nak nak kalau diorang tu in a position of authority, kan? Tapi kerja dengan orang..ada standard ISO bagai Sirim and what not. Why choose to work with public when you rather be behind closed door checking your Pesbuk?

Kerja I banyak risks. Kalau tak risk dari patients, risk dari orang luar and risks dari Boss. Kawan sekerja pun mampu menjadi punca kecelakaan jua. But nowadays, apa yang risk free? Nak parking kereta kat secured car park pun boleh kena assault. Tengah bawak kereta pun boleh kena hijack. Ni kat area yang Hisham Tun Hussein kata kadar jenayah sudah turun. Ye lah...kat area umah dia, umah cousin2 dia ye lah kot. Ada security guard, ada drebar..ada lesen pistol...jangan kata perampok, hantu penanggal pun pikir 2,3 kali.

What drove people to commit crime? Variety of desperations. We always think that the criminal semua berhati jahat dan mempunyai keberanian yang tinggi. Ohhh..mereka penakut jua. Because commit crime pun ada risk. Buatnya orang yang you nak serang tu berwaris jari hantu yang boleh bertukar menjadi rimau? And of course you heard abt that policeman yang kena samun lalu ditembak nya sipenyamun itu.

Okaylah, bukannya nak cakap pasal crime. I ni sepanjang masa hidup dalam time bomb. Always have to watch my back and bag. But speaking to my colleague yesterday, reminded me how people like to cleverly excuse themselves from the bad things they do to others.

Eh? Oh yes..we all do that sometimes. Intentionally and not.

You know when people like to use the phrase...ohhh I hate to tell you this but blablabla...giving you bad news or telling you bad things.  Or things like, I don't mean to upset you sososososo...but yes, whatever he/she said did upset you.

The truth is, yes. We intend to upset that person by telling them what we are telling them that's bad. Especially bab extra marital affair, kan? You ask your friend to come clean...alasan nya memang tak nak menyakitkan hati the mangsa penipuan (---okay, please don't bother excusing yourself from this label, because once you buat benda salah kat orang and didn't tell them about it, you masuklah dalam category penipu jua)

When something upsetting happened to me recently, MB told me that she is susrprised that I hadn't learned my lesson. She rightly told me, yes..you needed this (being mistreated by your so called friends) and next time, you know that although they're your friend, they are capable of upsetting you. Ohh..I actually should be telling her that, but MB lives longer than me..so she probably have seen many bad friends in her time. I am too in denial most of the time. Because I want to live happily.

Happy lah sangat, kan?

Tu bab kecewa-kecewa. Have you seen statement yang kata, ohh I don't mean to brag but I blablablabla. Ada unsur menunjuk. Kalau nak tunjuk, tunjuk ajelah. Ada reason menunjuk tu. Not every 'brag' is bad. Kalau you nak menunjuk kat orang that you actually look younger than your age, anak pun orang ingat adik beradik..then of course, brag lah. Positive picture there is, I actually manage to look this youthful because I tak minum, hisap rokok and exercise mengalahkan Madonna.

But truthfully, people yang menunjuk tu have their own reason. Susah nak cakap why. Dulu2 ada gak orang gunakan blog mereka untuk menunjukkan rasa tak puas hati....openly. Takde cover2 langsung. You know who were they referring tu. Hal kecik yang macam bangang pun boleh menjadi punca sakit ati. So petty kenkadang...yang I have come across, kalau style dressing anak orang tu sama macam anak dia pun, dia kata orang tu nak copycat dia. Alahai....bila baca tu taktau nak gelak ke or nak kesian. So, maybe the intention was to show to others, hey...don't mess with me. Some people feel so at ease with themselves so there is no need to 'stand out'. Of course now and again, we like a bit of attention. Kalau I ada anak, boleh la jugak buat blog and called myself Mummy Namabudakkecik and tayang gegambar anak I and ber networking bersama 'Mommy Namabudak kecik' yang lain. Ohh..my stance against blog gambar budak2 ni adalah ---less exposure the better. My reason for that is...sebab dah berpuluh2 paedo I jumpa and kerja. You mommies, however proud you may be, inadvertantly, you are feeding to their (them paedophiles) deprivation. But hak you lah kann. Plus, I ni takde anak, so I cannot relate to the pride and joy. Cakap lelebih orang kata kita jeles pulak. I ni pakkal takde benda nak ditunjuk, kalau tak lama dah menunjukkkk. Kan Kiah?

When We Are The Centre Of....Us.

Do we always do as we told?

Ohh tidak. Kadang2 aje lah pun. Tengok siapa yang tukang suruh. But mind you, kadang-kadang benda yang baik untuk kita pun kita buat dengar di angin lalu aje. Ye lah...kita kan selalu ingat we know ourselves better than anyone, tak gitu?

I was never good at Mathematics subject. Modern and Add Math. Mampus. No amount of tuition can fix me. I even refused the extra classes saying that, I know myself better, I will never do well. Bongkak tak hengat. My appa also said that he is bad at technical subject so my bad in Maths is inherited from him.

The truth is, I don't like the subject and because of that I didn't do well. Dah terang lagi bersuluh dah cakap tak suka, maka tak suka lah. Somebody said, when you say bad things it is like doa. Cakap benda yang sama more than 40 times pun doa. Truth is, mana ada orang doa benda tak baik, kan? Benda jahat kita mintak dengan setan. If you deserved bad luck then it is bahagian you.

Let me tell you what sort of people I see/saw in counselling room. Okay, we are not suppose to pass judgement but there's actually 2 types of wolves. One is genuine/unconcious/oblivious and another is just crying for attention.

My counselling activities is limited to those who is unconscious. The term we used for people who has mental disabilities. Permanent and temporary. Bila kita terlampau stress, kita tak akan nampak jalan keluar maka secara temporary, otak kita tidak berfungsi. Shall I assume that you who is reading this is not permanently disabled? If yes then that will be another story at another day.

I have a friend who called me, telling me her problems...betapa serius macam setan nya...semua orang salah tapi bukan dirinya and her idea of problem solving is to get away from it. Memang lah kak oii..in the real world, kalau problem kita dgn laki kita, maka jalan yang mudah nya is to leave him. When people call you for advise, they should rightly tell you, this is the situation I am in now and this is what I think I should do. Please tell me what you think. Another bodoh thing I heard from this so called pandai friend of mine who is currently in dire financial problems is that she can't work because kepalanya berserabut. Then I ask, how to earn money if you're not working. Katanya, she need someone to loan her the lump sum, settle her debts, clear kepala nya and start again. Ish...

Ada orang yang set-set dia ajelah mangsa keadaan...siap cakap dgn you, I know myself better than anyone and don't tell me what I can and can't do. (Tapi dia jugak yang pi cakap kat kita) So, in this person case, you are just a pair of ears to validate her comiserations. Ye lah, kalau simpan aje problem karang takdelah pulak orang tahu kann?

One word------bloody selfish. This person is the centre of his/herself and no one else. Not their love one. They can tell you they care, they love their families but....if their selfless do is something like, okaylah..hari ni I tak buat manicure/pedicure because I want to spend time with you, maka tak payahlah you toleh kiri kanan lagi.

Okaylah...entry ini bukanlah specific nak ditujukan kepada sesiapa. Yes, most time..we have to put our needs first. Because no one else will. Some people have this fixed idea on how she/he will be happy. We know we can't have all. Even by knowing that, we still can't help to feel so sorry for ourselves. What are we feeling sorry for? That things are not so perfect.

I recently met an old friend and we talked about our mutual friend yang dari zaman sekolah sampai ke dah nak masuk umur Poziah Latip ni tak habis2 dirundung malang. And of course she is the object of sympathy. To me, macam dia suka pulak orang sedih2 tengok keadaan nya. Ada ajelah yang tak kena dari A to Z. Kalau status update pun set-set, ohh mengapakah...hanya Allah yg maha mengetahui...ohh ya Allah, tabahkan hati ku berikan aku kekuatan...prekk prekk...ohh, not that I have anything against that. Elok. Memang kita patut minta pertolongan dari Allah..tapi lepas doa tu, start balik wallowing self pity seantero FB, pe hal? So, kononnya nak menghadapi hari-hari yang kelam seorang diri dan tiada siapa akan mengerti gittew but satu alumni sekolah kita dah tahu gamaknya.

Tapi, dia juga adalah officer bank besar kat Malaya nun dan adalah henbeg yang mahal, as oppose to kawan kitorang yang dipaksa berenti kerja dek laki dan menternak anak aje.Lagi mau kata nasibnya malang.

But between the 2, the self centered one will messaged me with perkhabaran yang bahawa dia rasa I lah yang sangat beruntung dalam dunia ni sebab dah duduk Hinglen, nampak macam happy go lucky etc etc. Of course lah, orang selalu rasa duduk di Hengland ni macam best tapi tak tahu betapa perasaan itu bak time bomb mengenangkan family yang jauh. Tu tak masuk sebatang kera ni. That was my excuse lah...but wei..enough lah with the idea that my grass is more greener than yours.

Takkkk......she decided that her life is such a mess. Even the positive outlook pun akan dilumpuri 'masalah' dia. Pastu boleh cakap...ohhh yang I ni tak paham, because I am not wearing her shoes. Hello? Nasib baik kau ada kasut ye.

Many moons ago, mine and Kiah mutual friend ni pun dilanda masalah jugak. Well, self inflicted if you ask me...but looking at, masalah kita semuanya didatangkan oleh kita sendiri, kan?

Pun we both realised that the pattern...poor me, pour me. So I told Kiah, biarlah. She is the type of person who will do exactly want she wants. Tak kisah lah benda tu salah. They will be an excuse to justify that too. But that does not make her a bad person and we must be there as friend.

Thing is, if the luck strikes, nothing bad will happen to them. They will survived. The only shameful fact is that, they overlooked the beauty of life that have up and downs, being happy and subjecting/subjected themselves to masalah-masalah yang sungguh tak perlu. Believe me, if you want to be happy, you can. Even for 5 minutes.

Well, of course the people who bear the brunt of it lah kan.  Maksud I, sometimes in the quest of our 'happiness' tu, kita memporak perandakan jiwa orang lain. Some people still sleeps at night knowing that. It is not like they don't care. They do care. They know how much damage they have cause. They just don't want to do anything about it or they have different ideas of making it right. Tu aje. There is no lesson to learn, because the self centred people knows everything. What they do now is their own conscious choice. Good or bad.

I lap you, Kiah.