Percayalahh..saya tidak mencarut.
I am now back at work. Everytime, I need to remind myself that I am servicing the community. Ada orang yang baik dan ada orang yang...tidak berapa. There have been good days. Worst days are even too. I think some days, we are allowed to let of our steam, steam that came from the stress and the stress that came from the work. But we must never forget the the purpose of the work.
A reminder like this should goes to......
Artis artist fofulerrr yang sokmo komplen dirinya takdak privacy lah...sokmo kena gossip lah. Dah keroje itu yang uols pilih, maka itulah stress nya. Ada jugak artist yang statement yang konon nyalah bagusss...like..ohh, worship my work, not me. Ada ke kes yang kita suka laguuuuu aje, dan menyampah kat orang nya? Ye lah, minat kat lagu..nak puja kat orang lah kan. So kalau orang dah nampak you kat Giant tu, senyum aje lah..janganlah merungut hishh...ai nak beli ikan pun susah...phlueksss.
The nurses in the hospital. Really, why do we choose the career? Yes, nurses do 12 hours shift. If you do your work well, ditambah perisa dgn senyum etc etc, the orang sakit will say, terima kasih. I know of orang sakit who bought nurses sejambak bunga (sebab anak pesakit tu dah pi maki hamun nurse dengar nya...ikss...siapalaaaaaaa orang ittew ye?) Terima kasih tu cukup berharga...and percayalah, walaupun gaji kita tak banyak macam gaji Fara Fauzana, pahala yang kita dapat..serta keseronokan yang tiada terhingga nya bila ada orang cakap, kalau tak kerana misi yang baik hati...tah apalahhhhhh nasib makcik. Huk..huk..huk...
We have our bawah's moment. Many people think I am the calmest person they have met. I like to think I am...but I am not. Human have positive and negative energy. Many, many years ago I probably have more negative than positive. While I think I have connected to my positive side, there negative bit will not just dissapear.
Recently, me and MC watch this Emang Manang drama. Yes, we watched drama melayu. Contrary to the rumours Kiah love to spread, yes, aku suka nengok cerita Melayu. Well, what else can I watch in Astro? Ada movie homputis pun, itu aja diulang-ulang. Then the subtitle punyalah haru. I bukannya suka keluar rumah. So, I tengok TV lah. MC and me can go very quiet when the telly is on. While I like to komplen2, MC will go..tengok aja lah sayangggggg. Watching TV and tengok wayang is two of our atas moments. The opposite of our characters generates less activities together. The good thing is we both don't complaint. What I like about us two is we both have different lives but can still appreciate on that few things that we both enjoy. Bukanlah macam some people tu kalau dah menyampah tu cari macam2 alasang tak suka kat orang kannn?
So yes, Emang Manang. I asked MC, has he remarried. Belum. What about the wife? Pun belum. I asked again..why lah bercerai? Entah. Then of course sebagai kaki sibuk I wonder in myself, they seems good together and bila dah bercerai pun masih takdak pengganti. Masa siamang bercerai dgn bini nya, dia pun tak kahwin lain. Dia kata (dan orang lain kata juga) dia sayang kat I. Elehhhh. But until now, I pun tak tahu apa ada dalam kepala hotak nya yang later ada ketumbuhan itu. Unlike some yang suka benar meng google ex boipren nya, there are times..I teringat kat orang2 yang pernah ada sekejap dan lama dalam hati I.
Bila I mula2 jumpa MC (bahagian ke 2 nya) we just thought that, okaylah...since we get along as friends, kita pun jumpalah sebagai kawan kan. But of course something else reignited. But I must say that it is not easy loving someone who loves themselves more.
When I spent more time in Malaysia, especially in Shah Alam where me and Siamang bersama-sama jalan naik bukit Seksyen 2 tu, mengingatkan I kat dia. Now that I am with someone, setakat ingat aje lah. It is lot easier for me that he is no longer around. I don't have anymore of siamang photos with me. The last cut was the deepest. No amount of good friendship can mend my broken heart. The one who love the most will hurt you the worst. That is so ringing true. Now and again, I try to remember him. The good thing about him make me sad. Sad because it was good and perfect yet I wasn't good enough for him. Although our bawah moment was bad for me, the memory of the atas still strong. Can nangis one if I think about it.
Whenever me and MC is having difficult times and most time we were, I only want to think of the bad things. For strange reason, I cope better alone and dwell on the bad things.
My relationship have had many bawah moment. Too many that one think it is not even worth hanging on for. MC think that and I think that to. Love do make you happy but living it and doing it (not the physical bit) is not as happy as it should be.
I suppose if Ogy and Emang is the same case, yes...the good thing about love do keep them happy together for the time they want it to.One can be very selfish and demanded more. One can be very happy obliging.
You can love a person, very very much and knows that you are not good together.
I'm sure if I am Ogy, everytime I see Emang Manag, I will cry my pillow wet thinking the good things about him. Iskk.