About Me

Sunday, September 27, 2009

One Malaysia & Dua Wayang

One Melayu
I was on the 99 bus mini (alaaa..yang kat area Subang Jaya tu) coming back from Sunway Pyramid. I had to use the free wifi...nak hantar report kat Boss punya pasal. I need to use my laptop and for some reason, no one is able to tell me the wireless password for internet at home. So, berarak lah aku menghangkut laptopku yang tak berapa mungil tu naik bus. Dalam bas, adalah sekumpulan budak-budak lelaki kat back seat tu. They don't look that old so maybe in their mid teens.One boy in particular....distinctive nerdy look. Pakai cermin mata set-set budak pintar githoo (or is it the fashion now with that awfully huge frame?) In his conversation with his friends (dengan volume 42 nihhh) he talked about his new top and baggy jeans....and hairdo. He reckoned 'pompuan pun boleh stimmmmm.....'. I look at MB2. Nak gelak pun dah tak larat.He was so loud (and obnoxious) for such a kemetot person. I hope he is reading this....or his friends ( I doubt lah...)

First dik....mewakili pompuan-pompuan seONEMALAYSIA ni, it takes more than baggy jeans and branded shirt to makes us 'stim'. You should know that women often find over-talkative men less attractive...nak nak set yang suka jack diri sendiri, laaaaaaaaaagi off puting. However must you insist to make us 'stim', why don't you try this.....

a) Stuff few football socks under your underwear. Bigger the better. But make sure the enhancement is believable...big thing come in complete package, and I think it grows with age.

b) Don't use public transport to promote how attractive you are.

c) When harta takde, rupa pun ilekkk....money can make women 'stim' on your behalf. Ni kalau setakat potong rambut, beli jeans and T-Shirt pun guna duit angpau adik jalan beraya...I'm sure we women are more inclined to 'stim' tengok Sausage and Nuggets in Ayamas.

d) Will you consider...pencuci muka clean and clear????? Ke Kao Biore? You have got to kiss a girl by their lips first to make them 'stim'. Kalau acne pun dah sama ramai dengan population Indon dalam Malaysia ni....susah lah dik. If there is any consolation...you can still enjoy sex. Chargeable one at Bukit Bintang. They'll overlook your notorius acne.They don't need to get 'stim'. They touch and go.

One India
At Pasar TTDI. Ye Cik Kak...TTDI ni pasar orang-orang kaya. No difference from all that over-expensive upmarket you have been to. I was waiting for MB1 buying bunga kubur and he...was buying groceries at the stall next door. He was served by another Indian shop assistant. He gave instruction to his fellow in English, when the another fellow was clearly 'not the English speaking one'. He was rather demanding....takdelah beli banyak mana pun.So the shop man fill everything in one plastic bag. Then..there's a thunder.

In between English and bahasa Ibunda they all tu...the India berlagak, really taruk the shop man. I was there with few others.Lagiiiiiii dia ber petir-petir. Wone wone ingge poringeee BAD SERVICE. Yinnadehhh CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT...and other yingge wonee amma sarree pundek pochikkk!!!

What is it with them? If you're Indian and you're reading this...let me tell you, based on my experience in service industry, your people always like to berlagak tak kena tempat one.Why lah? Dalam flight lambat kena serve berlagak...dalam duty free baru beli chocolate tapi rasa macam beli Rolex.

If you want an extra plastic bag....you can always ask for it nicely.You always going on about being repressed lah, mistreated lah. Everywhere also the same. The one that live in UK also, laaaaaagiiii berlagak. Especially when you drive a car slightly expensive than other. Do you really think people will be impressed? Menyampah lagi adalah....cettt! Poh!!!!

One Cina
I went to Summit to buy some PC pheripherals. Majority of the PC shop belongs to the Chinese. Cehh...manyak bagus. I brought back a PS3 console from UK and was looking for games. So I browse. So expensive. They insist on selling the game that cost over $400, the Ah Beng said, that is already dead cheap. I said No lah...to expensive for me. So I asked for 4GB memory stick instead. It's $350...katanya. He said everywhere in Malaysia sell that price. Because I was wearing just T-Shirt, slippers and shorts and most certainly look like bodoh, he tried selling a software that 'goes' with the stick. He blabs about how 'this' must be use only with 'this' and if not, your komputer will get TLOJANS.

Wehh...must tipoooo one ah? I let him lied through and through his teeth. He has a Indonesian helper..that helped him carry all the kotak and all the odd jobs. One Indonesian among 3 Chinese that behave like a shark. 3 of them keep mengumpat him and called him 'sohai'.

You think I don't understand Chinese meh???? You also called us a silly malai under your breath. Manyak belaniiii ah???? I wish I can say this to your face 'Ham Ka Channn'.

Dua Olang Kulang Bijak
On the news today....the KRU man and the Chinese Movie producer were fussing over whose movie collect more money than who. One movie apparently made $1.dont know how much million on the week one. And another claim, his movie made the most. One got so annoyed demanding a qualified auditor to re count. All in front page. Aiyaaaa????

So important meh???? You oledi got millions...why so sebok??? Baru 1 millions sudah like that...olang lain bikin movie lagi besar currency munya millions pun tatak mising. Bodohhh punya olang.

p/s Selamat Hari Raya you all. Thanks tak terhingga kat you all yang komen kat my last entry tu.Cak pong, cak pong


Anonymous said...

haha... agree sesangat bab berlagaknya One India itewww.. Ni baru berapa hari kat sini.. cuba forever working dgn bos itew..... yg memang lagi racist. Selamat Hari Raya.. by the way.. hati-hati dengan si peragut.. pj, usj..

ell_jay said...

one malay
itu org panggil budak baru nak up.. sekali kena drop.. terus nanges nanti.. dia rasa hensem sgt la tu jerawat bersepah tu..

one india
pasal plastik sekeping pun boleh jadi one of masalah dunia.. ingat kalau masuk tivi, kalah rating news ahmadinejad..

one cina
tak leh nak komen bynk.. mulut paling manis di seantero dunia.. bahaya.. boleh kena kencing manis kalau dengar sgt cakap dia..

dua budak baru belaja buat filem
nothing new about them.. dari dulu duk gaduh pasal ni.. bikin malu kompeni ajek.. udah2 le tu..

Anonymous said...

makji, imho when it comes to berlagak, bukan one hindia je, one cina, one malay, one mat saleh celup, one mix, one zaleha radzi (tiba-tiba!:P) semuaaaaaaaaa berlagak komain lagi. tapi keberlagakan one hindia mmg yg terbaik la rasenye.

lagi satu, 1malaysia ni kadang2 tak boleh dok lebih dari 3 minggu kat luar negara, mula lah lupe bahasa sendiri pastu nak slang komain pekat. padahal flight layover one hour je kat LAX/LHR. lagi teruk 1malaysia yg x penah pun pegi emerika tapi slang very the over like that.

p/s selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin

-kak nam

Tijah said...

Dua Olang Kulang Bijak

ntah eh. 2-2 pun cito bangang...

[danial][ma] said...

hej! hjh.esah...hahahahaha...so many wayangs actually but still want to call 1Malaysia...ayoyo, amaaaa, haiyah, alahai...

Ina said...

Salam Makji,

Hehehe, What can I say... banyaknya issues...hehehe. Just enjoy your holidays :)

Manal said...

Waaahhhh...kasi belasah abis all 3! Ye la thats the way to do it innit? u hantam one side jer orang sah cap racist kan even though its merely us complaining the 1-Malaysia way.

Well, back to work today. And yea, 4GB stick u can get much less than RM100 definitely!

Mint said...

hahahaha...Selamat Hari Raya Hjh...

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

TweetyPeak...uish...I klau boleh handbag taruk dlm baju you...

LJ..mmg itu dua olang suka gaduh ke?

Amboiii Kak Nam...Jgn lah ngata Wan Zaleha Radzi..kecik ati I...hehehe

Tijah..tu lah kan..den nak dihangkut poei Somban Duo nengok Jin Tah Hapo hapo tu..tak hingin den do, habih duit den baya duit tiket anak buah den

Danial..Eh, you tak raya kat Msia ke?

Ina...I am enjoying it...disertai dgn lebam lebam dikaki tangan dgn gigitan nyamuk

Manal..tu lah kan? That Memory stick only cost 8 pounds je kat WH Smith. Cisss

Mekasihhh Mint..Selamat Hari raya to you tooo

Riey said...

1Malaysia kena..I like. Hehehe..

Hjh Esah Jolie said...

Thanks, Riey.

aking said...

anak ikan mana tuh yang stakat babgy jeans pun nak tayang...adik beli longgok kat bundle ke?**ops**

yg status berlagak takdopt tuh tak dopt ni, mak dah kalis dah, sama kalis dgn bau MINYAK BIJAN uols!!

kb mak si ah ho sgt baik n suci murni hatinya hehe

Anonymous said...

stop generalizing! everything you mention happens to every races in this world.dalam hal berlagak ini,pergi ke malaysia hall ,tengok siapa yang paling berlagak?melayu sendiri yang berlagak nombor 1
jangan jadi macam penduduk kayu ss 23